Your New Year

I have been wandering: How many people do really care about the meaning of starting a New Year? While no-one is here to tell you what you should or should not do, please be aware of the importance of making a decision that might affect your whole life. 
But... this is "your" life and you do what you want with it. 
Happy New Year!

Knock Knock! (Part 3)

Your life is not bad at all, thank goodness, but you still feel that you have not  given of yourself and obtained from others the best yet. You keep experiencing the nagging feeling that you can do much more, that your capabilities have not been unveiled and displayed yet, that your potential is still waiting its great opportunity to be shown to the world. You also believe that – so far - life has not given you all that you deserve.

But...here comes the good news! In a couple of days a New Year is starting and you still have time to finally put your intentions into practice and make them become reality. You have already made promises to yourself and you have not kept them (or, at least, not completely). Now you can make up for your previous lack of resolution. Here is a new opportunity available to you. Year 2014 is knocking and you are going to open your door. Let creativity, willpower, determination, commitment, dedication and trust accompany you in welcoming the New Year. Once again, (and again, and again…) it is up to you to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life.
(The End)

Knock Knock! (Part 2)

In the late nineties you were anxiously waiting for the new Millennium to start because you had made plans. There were things you wanted to carry out or change in your life, you had great expectations from yourself and from others. The year 2000 came and passed and you felt that most things were still the same, including yourself. Then you began waiting for year 2012. You had heard the story concerning the completion of the Mayan Calendar and the possible transformation that could take place on all levels of the human existence. The physical, psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual levels might have been radically altered by the astronomical position of the stars. Year 2012 came and passed and here you are, at the end of 2013. The cosmos is still the same and your life has not changed very much. You have not done most of what you were planning to do, while you may have done something that you had not planned on doing. Quite a few things seem not to have gone according to your forecast. It is interesting to notice how seldom things in life follow the guidelines that had been previously set out. Why does this happen? Are human beings careless, lazy, or incapable? Not at all. They are simply “human” and, according to their (your, mine, our) nature, they talk and dream more than they actually take action.
(to be concluded)

Knock Knock! (Part 1)

I recently happened to bump into an old TV series entitled "Space 1999". Due to the fact that I have always been a big "Star Trek" fan, I just had to watch a couple of episodes and, I must say, it resulted to be fairly good '60s science fiction. What fascinates me most in this kind of old shows is the fact that they used to consider the end of the second millennium and, consequently, the beginning of the years 2000s as a far away time, where the world would be totally different. OK, now we are well into the 2000s. So? How does our world look like? Mankind has certainly not conquered space in the sense of traveling to the stars, visiting other galaxies, colonizing alien planets. We are still here, very much bound to the Earth, in spite of the few space missions, space stations, astronauts' space walks. But... we have technology. We have so many devices that literally turned the world into the long-predicted global village. There are no more secrets, everything (good or bad) is out in the open, no one seems to be willing to have a "personal", private life any more. But, enough of this.
Now... allow me to make a few considerations while I am extending my best wish to you for a Happy New Year.

Relativity

We say that all is "relative", i.e. everything has a meaning only if we consider it in relation to something else. By itself, in fact, it does not mean anything. It is simply "is". This can also be referred to great concepts such as Fatherland and religion, for instance. Think about boundaries. They are just pieces of land that signify the division between countries exclusively according to a geographical map drawn by political/historical events. Take Christmas (or any celebration of any religion). It is highly meaningful in Western countries (generalizing) while in the East (still generalizing) it is just a working day like any other.

A sad consideration? It depends. This, too, is relative. It is sad if we think that such state of being divides people. Otherwise, it is just a situation to be accepted as it is, with no implications whatsoever.

You Can!

Who decides the kind of thoughts your mind is going to experience? Many people say: This is the way I am, I cannot change. This is how my mind thinks and there is nothing I can do. But you "are" neither your thoughts nor your feelings. Your own "self", namely your spirit, is something outside the material world, including both your physical and mental body. Unfortunately, sometimes your true "self" is dimmed, that is why your conditioning makes you unable to realize your strength, your capability to decide what you want to think, in what direction you wish to channel your energy: in a nutshell, the kind of life you want to live.

Impossible Answer?

A question that can be rather puzzling is the following: if we are all human beings having an experience here on Earth, how come that our experiences are so different - provided that the destination is the same?

Looking around, you keep seeing extremes: one life that is full of good feelings, people who encounter many opportunities to love and be loved (independently from the final outcome) while others never experience true love or they are only disappointed by the few times they believe they might have found it.

There are lives lived in torment or perennial discomfort versus those lived in relative serenity. Some lead a life strewn with toughness, abuse, intolerance, while others mainly meet calm and peace on their path.

Not all human beings endure such extremes, that is true. Actually, most individuals float through a sort of mediocre existence where nothing really "strong" ever happens. No deep feelings, no exceptional happenings, just a normal routine with the usual little joys and upsets, ups and down etc.

Can a satisfactory answer ever be found to the starting question? 
When they say that Life is a Mystery, they (whoever they are) are not joking!

Keep On Honking

A rather common experience: you are in your car, waiting for the traffic light to turn green. When it does, an instantaneous honking "choir" starts blaring out loud. It seems that some drivers just cannot stand waiting a couple more seconds. They need to cross the road now.

Some people move through life in the same way. They are impatient, they want everything "this very moment". They do not realize (or, rather, they prefer to ignore) that things need time to be carried out. They need a "suitable" time, according to their nature and situation.

The time you have to wait at the crossroad if you are standing behind one single car cannot be the same as if you stood behind ten cars, can it?

Yet, some (and maybe even you) every now and then seem not to perceive the difference. So they angrily keep on honking...

To Be or Not To Be?

I was asked by a student,"Why do I need to learn things that have no practical use?" Many young people ask the same question. Yes, why? If the modern world mainly revolves around money, profit, material achievements, why "waste" time and energy learning about literature, philosophy, geography, nature etc.?
A seed that remains "a seed" has the potential of becoming a tree. It can survive as a seed or it can be what it was created to be. Surviving and living: these are the two possible choices that human beings have to make throughout their lives.

To Be (what one can be) or Not To Be? (remaining in a latent state of possibility). Shakespeare was right. This is truly the question!

Naive Presumption

An adult student used to be absent a lot. When her professor asked why she was not attending classes regularly, she answered: "Because I am not really interested in learning. All I want is to obtain the diploma and get a job". (Believe it or not, this a true story!). When I heard it, I couldn't help thinking that such attitude is not so rare. Some believe that obtaining a diploma and getting a job is all they need. Who cares about the know-how? 
There are still - and there will always be - human beings who believe in "getting it" the easy way, with neither commitment nor effort. But... how proud can they be of themselves?
After all, how we feel about ourselves is what actually counts. Some individuals may believe that being "smart" is smart but, deep inside, their real self  knows the truth. Like the man who pretended to be asleep. He deceived others, but not himself.

Perfect Strangers

When I was in primary school, my best friend was a little girl named Simonetta. We were together every day, either in class or playing princesses at home. We thought we would be friends forever. Then life situations separated and kept us apart. After several years, I was walking downtown with a colleague, when she stopped to greet her room-mate. She exchanged a few words with the young woman without introducing us. Then we continued our walk. A short while later something my colleague said made me realize that her room-mate was Simonetta!

I was stunned and upset at the same time. How could it be that our strong friendship had been wiped out to the point that we didn't even recognize each other after just a dozen years? Nothing was left of our closeness, we had become perfect strangers. Such realization hurt and made me think about how fleeting everything on Earth is. Even something you are so sure will last forever might disappear and be lost, never to be recovered.

Wrong Assumption

I recently had to carry out a certain math calculation. It was not particularly difficult and I got the result in due time. But it did not sound right. I did sums, subtractions and divisions over and over and the result did not change. It was correct. Yet... it just could not be. Finally, I realized where the mistake was. I had started from a wrong assumption! As the starting point was wrong, all the subsequent operations, although they were carried out exactly, could not give the suitable result. 
Don't you also, every now and then, start a thought from the wrong premises? And when the starting thought, or belief, is incorrect, also the subsequent words and actions will not yield the results you expected. You judge a new acquaintance in a negative way? If you do not give yourself the time to check it out, you might miss the chance of making a good friend. Is being the winner in every discussion your top priority? Don't expect to be appreciated by all. Do you believe that your own interest and benefit come first? Don't expect that others will love you dearly. And so on and so forth.

The Power Is Yours

When you are convinced that you own the power to create your life, a miracle takes place. You decide in full awareness and freedom what you want to do with your body and with your mind. You finally understand that they are just means necessary to your spirit so that it can go through the experiences it needs for its progress and evolution. This is the goal of our life: to make us better and better through a never ending series of improving experiences which bring us closer to spiritual advancement. It is a progressive purification that, on our physical level, we must acquire by means of our worldly experiences. A life seen as a continuous search for the path leading to enlightenment cannot come to an end. It is an endless journey, that apparently started but that will never finish.

The Key to Happiness

Every now and then the old question "What is happiness?" pops up in my mind and I spend a brief moment considering it.

Some believe that happiness consists in having what one wants. Others may say that happiness consists in doing what one wants. Could it be that happiness is succeeding in just being what one wishes to be?

If owning a house or earning a handsome salary is your top priority, having such material goods should make you happy. On the other hand, you may put freedom to do what you want at the top of your list of priorities. You may desire to lead a certain kind of life, maybe travel the world etc. Nevertheless, even having or doing whatever you like most might not be enough and you might still experience a sense of lack that keeps you wanting more. Is it possible that by simply being able to express yourself in whatever way you find it more rewarding provides you with the key to happiness? Or, if not perfect happiness, maybe a sort of serenity that makes you feel contented and fulfilled, in peace with yourself and with the world? That should be enough.

An Impish Question

Would you rather know "the truth" and be unhappy, or remain ignorant and be tranquil? You feel perhaps that you should boldly answer, "I prefer to know". How brave of you! But... are you also ready to face the consequences - usually unpleasant - of your "knowingness"? Think now about going on ignoring what you have been unaware of till now. Do you really need to be enlightened on the subject? Mind you, in becoming "enlightened", your peace of mind will be probably destroyed.

In choosing the second possibility you are certainly not alone. Most human beings prefer the easy way of ignorance because it helps them avoid thinking, facing problems, acknowledging reality. Only a handful make the first choice because the price to pay is too high. And... after all, who really "needs" to know it all?

Loving Versus Liking

Someone asked me if it is possible to love someone and yet not like them. I believe it is. If a person very close to you (such as a parent, a child, a sibling, a best friend) constantly behaves in a way that you just cannot stand, it is only natural for you to be annoyed, to experience a feeling of resentment. After having been patient over and over, at a certain point you realize that you would rather stay away from such person than to be in their presence and spend time with them.You love them dearly, you wish them well, you honestly want to see them happy. Yet, when they are around, you prefer... to be in another room, don't you? Should you feel guilty about such feeling? I don't think so. Why? Because people deserve to bear the consequences of their behavior, no matter what the family or friendship ties are. They behave badly most of the time? It's OK for you not to like them. Nevertheless, you still love them.

Unknown Enemy

You have surely heard that high blood pressure is called "the silent killer" because it can cause fatal health problems without giving any previous warning. The same definition can be given of non-physical conditions which, nevertheless, are no less dangerous. I am referring to strong negative feelings such as hate, resentment, jealousy, blame etc. These feelings are powerful to the point of causing a physical unbalance in the human body. When you are under the effect of long-lasting resentment or hate, your inner systems get so distraught that the chemical equilibrium results altered. With time, if such situation  persists and becomes chronic, a serious disease might ensue with dramatic, often fatal consequences in your life.

The New Renaissance

The Renaissance (maximum flourishing 15th and 16th century) was a period that saw, in Europe, the birth of a new awareness of the greatness of the "ego", which was interpreted as the individual capacity for greatness - not as the selfish side of the self, as we understand it today. The human being was then seen and praised as a creature of value, capable of expressing himself in ways that would soar to fantastic heights in the artistic, scientific, intellectual fields (a few examples: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Shakespeare, Galileo etc.). The "I" was considered a source of spiritual growth.

Also today we are witnessing a renewed triumph of the "ego". How does it manifest itself? Mainly in talking no-stop about one's self, posting the so-called "selfies" and twitters, practically showing off all the time. In a nutshell, inventing more or less questionable ways to attract attention. What a difference!

At The Hairdresser's

While at the hairdresser's,  a parallel occurred to me between hair-care and Life. At times life becomes dull, exactly like your air when it needs color and trim. You don't like the way things are going, as you don't like the way your hair makes you look. There is no "shape", everything appears mediocre and zest-less. Then you make an appointment with your hairdresser and, in a couple of hours, you come out as a new person. You look well-groomed, beautiful, just "right". Similarly, when you decide to do something about your mood and remind yourself about your worth, about what life can still offer, about all your assets, Life starts to feel "right" again.

What Is "Worthy"?

You may reach a point in your life when you start wondering about "worth". You worry about something and suddenly you stop and ask, "Is it worthy?" The same might happen when you get angry, or upset, or annoyed... If you are wise enough, you answer yourself with a big fat "NO!". In fact, very few things deserve to be worried, got upset or angry about seriously. Most of them - if observed and analyzed with attention - result to be quite petty, almost insignificant. Yet, you often tend to attribute too great an importance to them. You seem to almost make your life revolve around them. Well, maybe not your whole life. But your mood certainly. Now, do you think it "worth it" to ponder upon this matter? I do.

So, What?

Quite often are we unable to see ourselves as we truly are or, at least, as other people perceive us. If a friend tells us that we answer a comment of theirs in a defensive or aggressive way, we immediately deny it. Why? Simply because we cannot judge our own behavior from the perspective of another person. "So, what?", you might say, "I behave the way I consider suitable, as far as I am concerned." You are certainly right but, at the same time, if you want to establish friendly relationships with your fellow human beings, you cannot ignore what they think about the way you relate to them. Being totally "yourself" may at times cause serious misunderstanding because, for several of us, one of the most difficult things to do in dealing with the others is to clearly explain our point of view - when in contrast with somebody else's - without sounding either defensive or aggressive, or both. 

The "Subconscious" Problem

A problem with human beings is that they have a subconscious. People think and act in a certain way, sure that they know the reasons behind their thinking and acting. Most times, they only "believe" they know, while they don't. If you get an ailment, you immediately think of the physical cause. Some may go as far as trying to detect the "mental" cause, such as a negative thought or behavior. Both may be true. But there is something else that is very difficult, often almost impossible, to detect. It is the layer of beliefs and, mostly, feelings that are deeply rooted "below" our conscious mind and of which we are totally unaware. Past experiences actually create a sort of foundation upon which our daily life is being built. Therefore, if you stop to look, you will only see the building (the way your life is, your health situation etc.) while being unaware of what lies underneath. Discovering what such foundation is, is not easy.

Life and Multiverse

The article “Looking for Life in the Multiverse” by A. Jenkins and G. Perez ("Scientific American", 2010) ends with these words: “We may never find any direct evidence of the existence of other universes, and we certainly will never get to visit one. But we may need to learn more about them if we want to understand what is our true place in the multiverse – or whatever it is that is out there”…

Speaking on a much smaller, non-scientific scale, what I understand is that we need to learn more about what is possible in order to understand what is actually real, what is presently existing, both in the world and in ourselves. Intriguing thought...

Successful Partnership

Is it enough for an individual to be honest, not have harmful habits and not be abusive, in order to be a good partner and establish a successful relationship? Some may believe so. Probably they are mistaken. Being honest, i.e. not being a criminal, is a duty of every single human being as far as ethics and morals are concerned. Not pursuing harmful habits is a duty towards one's body in order to keep it healthy. Not being abusive is a duty that everyone has towards everyone else in the name of mutual respect. All this has nothing to do with being a good husband or wife. To be successful and fulfilled with your partner, additional factors are necessary (if you reflect, you'll know which ones). When these are lacking, you will have (to paraphrase Henry David Thoreau), "a relationship of quiet desperation", where the couple keep on leading a dull, mirthless existence because they are moving on different planes.

House Flies

An Italian proverb says that God didn't create any useless creatures but that with houseflies He almost did it. This said, we can affirm that every living entity has its own precise place in the great "puzzle" of Nature. We must therefore admit that the beautiful harmonious "pieces" are as necessary as the dull insignificant ones. Nevertheless, it is hard to accept that even the crooked shapes are unavoidable in order to establish a sort of balance. For instance, when we read or hear stories about nasty human beings whose only aim seems to be performing wicked deeds, we might wonder "Why?". Again, it is not up to us to judge. We can only believe that there is a reason behind any happening. Acknowledging this can make certain people and situations a bit more acceptable.

The Two Sides of the Street

I used to know a downtown street with old buildings and shops on both sides. Riding along the same street after many years, I noticed that the buildings and the shops on the left are still the same old ones, while the ones on the right have been replaced by new, all-modern constructions. This makes me think of two people who, when they start their path together (either a relationship or just a friendship), agree on many things, have similar ideas, beliefs, behavior and then....a drastic change takes place. Actually, one of the two remains exactly the same, while the other undergoes a transformation, a metamorphosis, a modernization in mind and ways. The sides of the "street" that used to run parallel, are now getting farther and farther from each other. Is it good? Is it sad? Anyway, it is rather common.

Plastic Love

When you say you love someone, what do you actually feel towards the other person? The main facet of such "love" should be the desire to see your beloved happy, shouldn't it? In order to contribute to their happiness, you will be expected to do or not do certain things - such as being available and supportive, refraining from behaving in a controlling or abusive way etc. If you say you love another, yet you do "nothing" to prove it with your actions (i.e. you are not available or supportive, you are controlling and abusive etc.), your so-called love is like a plastic flower that seems to be the real thing while it is not. It "only" looks like a flower but it has none of the attributes it should have. Its petals are not soft and velvety, it has no fragrance, its beauty is fake and, if you look closely, you will realize it. Therefore... check out how you love your beloved, but check also how your beloved loves you. It goes both ways!

Know, Heal, Love Yourself

Greek philosopher Socrates used to say. "Know yourself" because only by knowing the motivations which make you behave the way you do, are you able to carry out any adjustment needed in order to create a more rewarding life. Another famous quote is "Doctor, heal yourself" because, if you don't know how to make yourself better (you don't need to be a real physician!), you won't be able to help others. Finally, a piece of advice very suitable to the time we are living in, could be, "Love yourself". Is everybody aware of this necessity? Probably not. Why? Because it seems that nowadays many human beings don't really know how to love and/or take good care of themselves. They in fact feed their bodies with metaphorical rubbish, they let themselves be prey of dangerous addictions and/or harmful feelings. In so doing, they knowingly inflict painful wounds to their physical, psychological and spiritual selves.

Turning Into A Stranger

John used to be such a creative guy but then, after experiencing more than one failure, he turned into a dull, almost boring fellow. Lucy was sweet, available and understanding, yet you wouldn't recognized her in the bitter, harsh woman she is now, after her heart was badly hurt. And dear old Mario, the happiest person you had ever known, is hardly recognizable in the sad, withdrawn man you see at present. Some people undergo difficult experiences throughout their lives which literally transform them into someone else, someone you don't know any more. The sweet becomes bitter, the shy becomes presumptuous, the kind can easily behave rudely etc. Yes, life's struggles can change people, their minds, their hearts and, consequently, their behavior - sometimes for the best, other times for the worst. It is up to each of us to examine ourselves from time to time in order to check and see what we are or what we have become.

A Question For Seniors (but not only!)

If you have reached the so-called "mature" age - and still wish to know a bit more about yourself - ask the following question (also younger folks might benefit from such reflection): 

If it were possible, would I want to start living my life all over again (possibly in a different way)? 

Before answering, ponder upon the following: 

* Had you made a different career choice, now you would find yourself in a different situation. 

* Had you married someone else, you wouldn't have the children you have. 

* Had you chosen another life path, 

       - you wouldn't have had to face the challenges you faced, but 

         different ones, 

       -  you wouldn't have had "all" the experiences you have had

          throughout your life, 

       - most probably you wouldn't have met the friends you

         presently have.

 Now... go ahead and answer the question. 

"Love" & "love"

Can you discern a difference between "Love" (upper case) and "love" (lower case)? The first one can be interpreted as a kind of universal feeling, a sort of benevolence that every human being should naturally experience towards the whole creation. It is a desire for everybody and everything to be well, in good condition, possibly happy. The second kind, love, is directed towards a specific object (usually a person). In this instance, different feelings are involved. Some - such as kindness, dedication, availability etc. - are positive. Others - such as jealousy, possessiveness etc. - are negative. What is the meaning of this reflection? The meaning is that "Love" is always good because it is selfless. On the other hand, "love", if not managed in an intelligent way, can end up causing sorrowful outcomes.

Acceptance vs. Encouragement

I am wondering if the words "acceptance" and "encouragement" have become synonyms. Nowadays many people have been brought to accept certain behaviors, attitudes and situations - although they don't believe them to be totally "good" - as a sign of flexibility and open-mindedness. But what is happening now goes far beyond acceptance, it is becoming "encouragement" to cross the line of dignity and respectability by showing, displaying, talking about such extreme self-expressions and manifestations everywhere, all the time.  Am I making any sense or am I living in an obsolete, "La La" plane of reality?

Never-Ending Motion

Have you ever noticed how your spirit is never totally at rest? Even when you have no real preoccupations, there are always tiny little worries that keep you "on the go". As the sea water is continuously in movement, so are the human mind and heart. Your mind cannot survive without thinking and your heart is unable to experience complete peace. When the sea is calm, with no big waves, it is in a state of relaxation, but it still has a slow, never-ending motion. Your "self" is the same: it can experience a relative calm and serenity, but never total absence of worries. After all, such is the human nature. The still water is dead, in order to be vivifying it must flow. Similarly does our spirit need to revolve around thoughts and feelings in order to be "alive".

No Way Out

Think of a situation in your life that you don't like. You might have been told that "all" situations can be fixed and, in general, it is true.  The famous saying "Where there is a will there is a way" tells a great truth and encourages you to do your best to find the most suitable manner to face a challenge. But you cannot deny that - at times - you meet a circumstance that is totally out of your hands. You are compelled to stay put. You feel powerless. You might end up feeling angry and resentful. What to do? There is only one possible choice, here: "acceptance". You must accept what you cannot avoid and what is not up to you to fix. It is not easy, but it is the only sensible behavior in order to avoid serious consequences for your psychological wellbeing.

Why Here, Now?

Why has your life unfolded the way it has? Why things have gone in such a way that you are "here", "now"? You may be satisfied with your present situation or you may be not. In either case, if you reflect with attention and honesty, you will discover that - no matter where you are - the path you followed was the best one for your spiritual progress. But... just a moment! It helped you to advance only if you - all along - have been able to understand the reason for the challenges you have been facing and, eventually, learn the lessons they were intended to give you. Only in this case will you accept your "here" and "now" willingly and gratefully. Otherwise - in case you don't like where you are - you will regret, resent, resist and feel a victim of a malevolent fate. 

Feelings

Have you ever wondered why feelings can sometimes change radically? You start by experiencing a specific emotion towards someone, which later becomes something totally different. Jane says that, when she met her future husband, she did not like him at all, she actually couldn't stand him. On the other hand, Sara shares that, when she met her future husband, experienced the classic love at first sight and happily married him. Unfortunately, later her feelings changed drastically and got transformed into their opposite. Why? How can such transformations happen? Is it only due to worldly circumstances or is there a deeper, possibly karmic reason behind this kind of metamorphosis?

Being "Yourself"

Think about the people in your life. With how many can you be totally yourself? If your answer is "with everybody", you are probably mistaken. Why? Because - if you are equipped with a certain dose of intuition - you realize that you cannot behave in the same way with everybody, all the time. If you actually do so, you will end up making several others feel uneasy. You need in fact a degree of diplomacy (not hypocrisy) in order to take other people's feelings into consideration, beside yours. Therefore - if you care - at times you have to refrain from expressing a blunt opinion, a harsh comment, a sharp word. In case you refuse such compromise, and insist in always being your "whole" self, with your moods and self-righteousness, you will keep on making others often uncomfortable in your presence.

Sharing

Have you ever wondered about the importance of "sharing" in your life? With sharing I mean making another person part of one's life by telling them thoughts, feelings, experiences. You may have wanted to have a friend to whom to confide your most intimate secrets because you needed someone to stand by you, someone supportive, available and accepting. If you were lucky, you found a person like this and  can enjoy a beautiful, fulfilling friendship. If you haven't been so lucky, you perceive yourself as a loner, no matter how many people interact with you. Talking and being listened to, both ways (i.e. also being talked to and be able to really listen), is a blessing that is not so easily experienced in one's life.

Is Your Knife Blunt?

I have often wondered how come that many (most, I dare say) people are not interested in Positive Thinking. If they hear about it, they agree that it is "a good thing" and... that's it. They immediately forget about it, they don't care to understand what it actually is, they are not willing to explore its principles. On a theoretical basis, they "know" that there is a better way to live their lives, yet they don't feel like investigating such possibility. These people remind me of the little story about the butcher who could not find the time to sharpen his blunt knife because he was too busy cutting (with great difficulty) the meat he was selling. Should we be sorry for such unawareness? I don't really know. It seems that many prefer to choose the hard path of anger, resentment, blame etc. because they believe it makes them look stronger, tougher, "in charge" or "in control". It is their choice, to which they have the right, therefore they deserve to be acknowledged (and, just a bit, sympathized with).

Existential Questions

Here are some questions which you might be interested in asking yourself and, possibly, find an answer to.

- Is there a benevolent Being who orchestrates and directs the  Universe?

- Does total free will exist?

- Or are human beings free in their choices only between well-defined boundaries?

- Are human beings "free" at all?

- Could the world as we know it be a precisely planned itinerary towards a mysterious (or, maybe, even non-existent) goal?

- Could our reality be a dream which is dreamed in another reality?

- Could the "Matrix" really exist?

- Could the virtual worlds created by our computers reflect the actual essence of our own world?

Why Live If We Must Die?

Why live if we must eventually die? This question holds the most excruciating doubt that has bothered mankind since time began. Why endeavor so hard, worry and struggle to create a wealthy life if we are eventually bound to leave everything behind? Why make plans for an uncertain "future" that may never become "present"? And even if we succeed in carrying out our plans, in realizing our wishes, what for? We shall have to abandon it all, sooner or later. Our nature makes us wonder about these very difficult questions and the quality of our spiritual life depends on the kind of answers we give ourselves. You should not say: I am a pessimist, that is why I see all black, or: I am an optimist, that is why I see all white. Actually, it is exactly the contrary. Your positive or negative attitude directly derives from the nature of your thoughts, your wondering, the answers you give - or don't give - yourself.

Fame

The word fame is defined as the condition of being known and talked about by many people, especially on account of notable achievements. I often wonder about a possible difference between people who earned such fame in the past and the (rich and) famous of today. Some ancient "heroes"  are still kept alive in story-telling, traditional festivals, folk songs - after thousands of years. How many of the people we hear and read about on a daily basis, who are acclaimed and idolized, can boast about their notable achievements, worthy of eternal remembrance? Actually, will they be remembered, shall we say...a couple of decades from now? Some may end up in history books but do most of the so-called artists, politicians etc. who have acquired a "name" really deserve to be remembered? Have they given any positive contribution to the progress of our planet? 

The Decision Is Yours

Saying that it is necessary for you to become aware of the absurdity of your fears, implies that you are the creator of your own misfortune.Through your thoughts, beliefs, your negatively oriented programming, you attract the circumstances that will give life to what you expect. If your mind always pictures failure, if your attitude is the one of a victim or a loser, how can you expect to be the winner of a battle that you see as already lost before even facing it? On the contrary, the moment you decide to take the reins of your life in your hands, when you decide to open your eyes and see, all nature's powers, both spiritual and physical, start working in order to carry out the "instructions" given by your positive, optimistic re-programming.

Hopeless Illusion

In an episode of a 1985 science fiction TV series, a man becomes insane because he feels overwhelmed by technology: telephone, fax, VCR, walkman etc... He is longing for silence and for some kind of privacy. Therefore he invents a device able to short-circuit all these machines. His firm belief is that “the majority’s rule” compels people (in 1985) to become “dependent” on these machines, so something must be done about it. I mercifully avoid mentioning the tragic ending, sigh! Anyway, he goes on believing that he has sown a seed, and ends up living happily in his “nice little cell” (his own words) and in his “hopeless illusion”(my words)!! If he only knew....

You Know You Don't Know You Know...

Do you consider yourself a generous, caring person - not so much from a material, but rather from a psychological or spiritual point of view? Do you care enough about other people’s feelings? Do you endeavor to hurt neither through words nor deeds those you are dealing with? When you believe you are in love, are you sure you don’t consider “love” what is more a desire to control, a feeling of jealousy, a wish to possess?  Someone defined intuition as “the stuff you know you don’t know you know” (Wow!!) Are you brave and honest enough to examine yourself and discover what YOUR intuition may suggest?

Necklace For Sale

Mary gave a lovely ethnic necklace as a gift to her friend's mother who was visiting from out of town. After some time the friend had a garage sale. Mary saw the necklace among the objects in display. She felt sad seeing how her gift had not been appreciated and realizing that both mother and friend preferred to dispose of it. At this point Mary had these choices:

1. Tell the friend how she felt about seeing the necklace for sale (manifesting upset directly).

2. Buy the necklace and THEN remind the friend about the gift to her mother (moral "slap").

3. Not say anything (feeling "offended but heroic").

What would YOU have done? Is it better to always express one's feelings (in a way or another) or is it more "saintly" to refrain and... suffer in silence? 
P.S. Mary chose to remain silent because she is type of person who could not say or do anything that she believes might hurt another's feelings (too sensitive!). But the memory still bugs her and she has never considered the 'friend' as such any more.

The Puppeteer Or Us?

More often than not, when I get ready to put my earphones on, I find that the cord is all tangled up. Sometimes it’s really bad (a total mess it takes me several minutes to loosen up), other times it’s not as bad. This never fails to make me think. As I “know” for sure that I am always careful with the cord when I put the earphones away, where does this entanglement come from? A comparison with life is inevitable. We are “careful” to set our cards right, but we lose the game. We are sure we have behaved well, said the right things, done the right deeds, but the result is the opposite of what we expected. So, what’s going on here? Is there a puppeteer behind the scenes who has fun messing everything up? Or is it us who ONLY believe we are doing everything right, while WE are the ones who, unknowingly, do the “messing up”?

Good For You!

If you say you are aware of what you are doing, you - hopefully - mean that you are  conscious of the importance of your action, that you pondered well before undertaking it and that you also know what its consequences might be. Is THIS, honestly,  the attitude that guides your life? Do you always know, really know, what you want to say and do, why you are saying and doing it, where your words and deeds will take you, what influence they might have upon yourself and others? If you are able to do this, good for you – indeed! You are then perfectly safe and protected against any afterthought, resentment, or blame. You shall neither regret what you did or the way you did it, nor feel the need to blame others for your mistakes. You shall always be ready to gladly take over your own responsibilities, independently from your behavior, be it either positive or negative.

Real or Fake?

At times, you might have the feeling that your life is not totally real. Yes, you live intensely, you feel joy and pain, love and resentment, satisfaction and depression…. the whole range of feelings and sensations that make your life fully "felt". BUT? Is it possible that you created a world for yourself that is not exactly true? As in a dream, you undergo experiences which seem to be real; you meet people, you perceive places and things that may not exist in reality. You experience life in such a way that, even when you are awake, you behave as if you were dreaming. Why? Could it be because you don't see people and things as they actually are, but as you interpret & judge them?

Imaginary Monsters

What you usually do is analyze, compare and judge. You were taught to do so, this is the example you were given, that’s why you cannot do otherwise. The mind, in order to think of something (it can’t help doing it!), not only does it make you miss the experience of fully enjoying the beauty that surrounds you. It also makes you create real "monsters" in your imagination, absurd fears and worries that have no true substance. It’s impossible to say if, in spite of your willpower, you will ever be capable of freeing yourself from this habit of always having to think. It has become a second nature to you but, if you are really willing to do something about it, you can at least start looking at things with "new" eyes, TRYING to see people and situations in their reality and not as your judgment makes you perceive them. Believe it or not, it's all in your "imagination"!

Worthy Questions

Be ready... Questions galore! How do you want the rest of your life to be? Have you ever really asked yourself such a question? Maybe it’s time you did. Look at your past, quickly, with neither judgment nor regret. Now look at your present. Is it similar to your past? Do you like it? Is there anything you would like to change? And now... ask yourself how you envision your future. Like your past? Like your present? Is there anything you could do to create a future that could be better than the present? Any “adjustments” to make? I know... I know... It’s a lot to think about. But, as your mind is always thinking anyway, can’t you dedicate just a few moments to reflect on something that is of paramount importance? YOUR OWN LIFE?

The People in Your Life

I have often wondered about the importance of people in our life. All those we meet leave an impression on us. Some just make a quick appearance and disappear without a trace, others remain for a while, a few are here to stay. It may happen that someone who had vanished (you thought for good) miraculously re-appear, bringing back all the good memories you have, the good times you shared, the good feelings their presence created in you. The ones I am a bit doubtful about are the people whom you met, you briefly dealt with and who then left the scene.You have no feelings toward them, they did neither bad nor good, they were "apparently" a useless interlude in the play of your life. Why were they there? You believe they meant absolutely nothing to you, yet you "had to" deal with them for a certain period of time. I am still trying to understand WHY they were there.

Edgy Situations

You love Peace, right? You don't like to be involved in conflicts, you prefer to avoid heated confrontations, you wish everybody could be serene and establish good relationships with everybody else. After all, you think, what's the use of fighting? of criticizing? of opposing? Life is short and wasting even one precious moment in recriminating is a foolish choice. Yet, most people seem not to realize such truth. Therefore, you forcefully find yourself in situations you loathe and cannot do anything about. People you know, love or care for don't miss the opportunity to judge, disapprove of each other, break a relationship, hold a grudge etc. Too sad! Does this behavior solve the situation? Certainly not. On the contrary, it makes it worse. Is there anything you can do? Regretfully, there isn't. Your role can only be that of the impartial onlooker. You might suffer from the edgy situation but, on the other hand, you can only tell yourself that, after all, it's none of your business, it's not your responsibility. It might help you feel a little better.

Understanding

To learn to really understand others you can start by examining yourself. Your first question might be: “How does what I am going to do now make me feel? At ease, or not?” Your inner self will answer and you shall know. Do not expect to hear what you “want” to hear. Most of all, you need honesty and open mindedness. If you trick yourself, who will be hurt in the end? When you know yourself better, you can perceive the reasons behind attitudes and behaviors of others as well. You can thus become more available to listen and to share, be less critical, less prone to be offended or grumble at any tiny provocation. You can change for the better, when you “understand”!

Stuck In A Rut?

Do you feel the temptation to stop where you are right now? You have reached your initial goals, you have a job, you may be already retired, you have a family, you have a good time with your hobbies and with your friends. Therefore you think you have fulfilled your responsibilities as a human being, haven't you? But... have you really? If you analyze your deepest feelings, you’ll realize that this is not enough. It’s definitely okay to be contented with what you have but, at the same time, you must not remain stuck in the same position, day after day…after day….  How dull!! There is always something new to be done, to be looked for, to be experienced, to be discovered in yourself  (and outside!) that will make you feel more satisfied and fulfilled. New achievements are awaiting you! Skeptical on this point? Try and see.

Required Equipment

Your life experience and knowledge are enough to get you started on your “journey”. It is the equipment you need, but it can only be of help in preparing your plans, it cannot execute them for you. Once you are well equipped with boots, ropes and nails, you are ready to start climbing a high mountain. But the actual climbing is your own task, no one can do it for you. Both knowledge and material means give you trust in your capabilities. Do not accept mediocrity! As long as you do not dare to go ahead and beyond your perceived limitations, you will never know what you are capable of achieving. Even if you make a mistake, it does not really matter. Each lesson you learn, each step you take – no matter how small – are useful bricks in the construction of your destiny. Just try to understand the cause of your mistake – what you did wrong and why – and do your best to correct your behavior, or attitude, or belief. That is ALL you need to do.

Useless Strife

How often is your spirit totally relaxed? Aren’t you, more often than not, “worried”?  Looking for more success, endeavoring to be better than others, trying to prove your point no matter what. You, like most people, are not willing enough to accept opinions that do not comply with yours because, unconsciously, you consider them dangerous for your own individuality. In reality, no one needs to “prevail” over another. Each human being has a specific place in the great pattern of Life: a place that is his or her own, that will never be taken by anybody else. So…why worry and strife to prove your worthiness, to show that you are "right"?

Success versus Value

Today, I invite you to reflect upon the importance you give to "success". Everybody wishes to become a successful person, to achieve important goals, to be acknowledged and admired. No harm in that, it is a totally human desire. Now, let us see how many yearn to rather become a person of "value". How many would happily barter a "successful" life for a life of "merit", if they could choose? Not too many? Examine yourself, taking these definitions into consideration.

Success means: 

getting, achieving, having. 

Value means: 

principles, standards of behavior, being. 

I find this question quite interesting. It is not an idea of mine, though. It is Einstein's!

The Right Place

The circumstances of your life led you to a place where you feel quite comfortable. And this is good. But, on the other hand, you might have the sensation that you are only comfortable "enough", that where you are now is not totally "home". You may wonder if it would be advisable to dare to look for a change, to move away, to step aside, to leave something behind. Making new choices is always scary because no one likes the idea of jumping without knowing what their feet will land onto. But life encourages you to be brave and take the courage to step out of your comfy zone. Avoiding challenges suits the lazy, daring to face them is for the bold. 

Never Alone!

You might be one of those people who don't like to spend time alone because it makes them feel bored, neglected, lonely. But, nowadays, the modern technology has eliminated such "malaise". Aren't you lucky? You can get rid of such feeling of discomfort by simply using your fingertip. A slight touch and ... here are all your friends displayed in front of you. There are so many services, apps etc. you can choose from...You can write, talk, message, communicate with many people virtually at the same time. You feel connected to the whole world, the whole time...You are brought to believe that even people you hardly know, or don't know at all, are your "friends". You can proudly say the the word "loneliness" has become obsolete. May we expect to find it deleted from the next dictionary edition?

Just To Please you!

Don't you usually expect the surrounding reality to change in order to please you? And when things do not go the way you wish, you are immediately ready to blame others. An alarm clock that did not ring, a moody friend, a bothersome noise... Many are the occasions you face in the course of the day that make you complain about people, things, circumstances. Ask yourself how often you are intolerant. If the alarm clock did not ring, most probably “you” forgot to wind it, or maybe the battery is used up. Nevertheless, deep inside you still secretly feel that the world should move according to your wishes, that other people should behave the way you like or that you need ... for your personal pleasure or benefit.

Ignoring and Denying

I know someone who spent their whole existence both ignoring and denying the "facts of life" (= something unavoidable that must be dealt with). Is this a positive or a negative attitude? Whatever it is, it is certainly a defense mechanism. Something unpleasant happens and, as you don't like it and don't want to face it, you choose to ignore it. When the situation is set, unchangeable, when you don't have any responsibility whatsoever in it, ignoring it can be an acceptable decision. Otherwise it is only a sign of cowardice. When, on the other hand, you are forced to face the unpleasant situation and deny it, try to find excuses to get away from it, you are simply, desperately avoiding the evidence. Attempting to prove the opposite of what "is", is only a sign of stubbornness. 

Your Life's Purpose

The following are not my words. They are the words of a lecturer whom I happened to listen to by chance. As I found they perfectly reflect my ideas, I would like to share them here. They are about finding your LIFE'S PURPOSE. Ask yourself:

1. Who you are
2. What you do
3. Whom you do it for
4. What those people want and need
5. How they change as a result
   Finally, if you make other people happy, you will be taken care, too.

It's not too difficult, is it? Unfortunately, many people spend most of their lives without knowing what their life's purpose is. This is the cause of their feeling unfulfilled.

The Importance Of "I"

 “I” is the word you use to affirm yourself in society, through which you want to show your worth, importance, power. The “ego” (Latin word that literally means “I”, used to indicate one’s personality) always tries to avoid problems, sorrows, nuisances, any unpleasant feeling or sensation. If, for example, you wish to relax, read a book or listen to music and somebody starts making noise, your “ego”  automatically reacts in  a negative way. You feel disturbed in your attempt to concentrate and your mind makes you believe that you are being deprived of your right to be left alone. You interpret that noise as an attempt to destroy your freedom of choice. Your true self might try to make you realize that a noise is just a noise, that there is surely a good reason behind it, and that it isn’t really a big deal. But your “ego” shouts that no one has the right to disturb you. You can always find a “good” reason to justify your negative reaction to any stimulus! As long as your relations with others follow the rule “Do not disturb!”, you shall always be, and remain, selfish. Your “ego” will be top priority, overshadowing any deeper, more realistic consideration.

Always Too Busy

When you carry out any of your daily actions, you usually keep your mind busy with something else. In so doing, you acquire a tendency to do almost anything without being really aware. Even when you give it a thought, it is a quick one, with no real commitment: you are too busy, you have no time to “waste”, you have to run! That is why quite often you do not savor your food, you do not actually “hear” the music you are listening to, you absorb only half of what you are reading. Maybe you do what you are supposed to do and what others expect from you. But what is “your” sincere, honest judgment about your performance? Is there a true concern behind your actions? Is there awareness of the importance of any act, thought and word that make up your life?

Past Friends

It's intriguing to see how people, starting from common ground, can eventually drift apart. You meet someone and find out you are sharing several interests. You become friends and have wonderful conversations. You believe that your friendship will last forever because it has solid foundations. Then, as time goes by, you start losing contact with your friend. You may have moved to another city or simply decreased the frequency you used to get together. But you keep remembering him/her as one of your best friends. "We have so much in common", you still believe. Then, when you happen to get in contact again, you realize that NOW you have "no-thing" in common anymore. You see their page on Facebook and realize that you are not interested in their posts. You receive their visit or a telephone call and find out that what they talk about means nothing to you. Sad? Yes, to a certain extent. Yet, people move at a different pace, in different directions. It's the unpredictability of life!

Decisions

Getting married, having a child, choosing a course of study, a job, even a best friend… These are all important decisions that you make throughout your life. But your existence is not made only of important decisions. Every little choice that you make  during the day, like what to cook for dinner or where to go for a walk, has a place in the planning of your life. Whatever you do, try to be aware of it, and endeavor to do it to your best. Einstein once said: “When I tie my shoe-laces I put all my attention (= awareness) in what I am doing”. Can you try to acquire a better awareness of every action (what you do), of its motivation (why you do it), and its performance (how you do it)? If you succeed in achieving this kind of consciousness, your daily life will become richer and more fulfilling. You will be “in the present”, in the NOW, rather than “somewhere else”.

Unconsciously Self-centered

There are some people - normal, good people - who do not realize how self-centered they are. It seems that the world revolves around them and that nothing or nobody else deserves attention. If you happen to talk (actually, if you "try" to talk) to them, they will monopolize the whole conversation, from start to end. They will tell you about all that is going on in their family, they will inform you about the tiniest details concerning their health, they will report the latest gossip etc. If you try to "insert" a word here and there you will soon realize that your attempts are useless because your interlocutor is continuing his/her unstoppable monologue. What can be done? The only remedy is to meet with this kind of individuals as seldom as possible. They are good people all right, they mean no harm and they are totally unaware of their behavior. Therefore... bear with them, every now and then. They might have a deep-rooted need for attention, which they probably usually lack. So, in the end, listening to them may end up being a good deed. But, again, not too often!

Of Ropes and Snakes

A rope touching your foot ceases to appear as a dangerous snake the moment you dare to just look at it. The majority of your fears are totally groundless, still you want to secure yourself against events that will most probably never happen. Try instead to deal with whatever you are afraid of with rationality. Your spirit is full of resources that make you capable of facing any circumstance. And be certain that, in case of real need, you shall know what to do. It is not worth worrying about something that seems dreadful only because your fear makes it credible.

Expectations, Yes or No?

It is commonplace to say that we should not expect anything from others, that disappointment is caused by expectations, that we should do things without wondering about the results. I agree in principle but not unconditionally. If you give your friend a gift just to make him/her happy, I am okay with the fact that such kind deed shouldn't be necessarily reciprocated, as your friend may have other ways to show his/her affection towards you. The main point here is: you might not expect tangible proofs of their love, but the feeling that such love really exists is indispensable. Otherwise it would be like throwing flowers in the wind: they would be carried away without leaving a trace, without giving anybody pleasure. Another example: if you have a talent (baking, singing, writing, acting etc.) and you share it with others, it shouldn't be considered wrong to expect, if not appreciation, at least some attention. Otherwise... what's the use of sharing?

Running Around

Observing several insects running along the borders of the swimming pool, I noticed a basic difference in behavior. Although they all moved randomly, some found their way out of the puddle they were struggling in, while others just seemed unable to recognize where the right direction was. They kept going back to the very edge until they ended up falling into the pool, drowning. The usual parallel with mankind comes to mind. Don't many human beings behave exactly the same? The safe path is there, they even get upon it for a short while but then (WHY?) they can't help going back to the dangerous spot until they lose their way completely and make the final wrong turn.

It's a Party!

Today is my birthday. I neither like nor dislike birthdays. I believe that a nice little family celebration is okay, just to make you feel that you are loved and cared about. Big parties... well, I'm not too sure about those. Aren't they just an opportunity to show off with friends and acquaintances who, probably, just care about the party and not "particularly" about you? I have always been puzzled about "big" celebrations, especially wedding parties. Some life happenings are so special, personal and meaningful that they should be shared only with those who truly love you. They shouldn't be like any other party, aiming at gathering "everybody" just to have fun. "Special" is an adjective that should be carefully thought about. Special people are exceptions, not the rule, so they cannot include "everybody" you know. Do you disagree with me? Probably you do! No problem, it's your right!

Incorrect Reason

Sometimes people rearrange their lives in a way that does not fulfill their expectations. They change the old environment for a new one that they believe will be more exciting, rewarding or uplifting. Sometimes they are not disappointed and realize that they had made the right decision in daring to face the unknown. More often, though, their expectations are not met because the reason for leaving the old road was not the correct one. The most common "incorrect" reason is the attempt to escape from an unpleasant situation. Escapism, fear, denial, refusal are the starting point that usually leads to discontent and failure. Moving to a new country, city, job or environment simply because one "couldn't stand" the previous one is not the solution to their problem, which will follow them wherever they go unless it is properly dealt with.

Take the Time

If you take the time to examine the way you deal with your friends, you might get a good insight about your usual behavior. You might realize that sometimes you are a little abrupt with them, or that you act in a way that is too matter of fact, making them feel that you are taking them for granted. As to your colleagues, you might have issues with some of them, as it often happens on the work place. Here you need to be patient, kind and ready to offer a helping hand when needed. And, when it is the case, show them the appreciation they deserve. They will value you more. No one is immune from the desire to be liked and taken into consideration. Indifference may be as hurtful as plain rudeness.

Blinding Anger

When you are angry, you are unable to see other people’s point of view. You are so wrapped up in your own feelings that you cannot pay attention to the outcome of your furiously expressing them. This is understandable and forgivable. Yet, also the other’s hurt should not be overlooked. If you don’t want your life to become a “monologue”, you need to watch yourself. Only by listening – beside talking – and replying accordingly can a “dialogue” be established.

Unpredictability

I have often wondered how, at times, unexpected feelings arise from people's deepest part of the "self". Instantaneous likes and dislikes (even love at first sight) happen and it is hard to understand their dynamics. They cannot be explained according to logic or reasoning. Science says that the brain carries out a couple of million "operations" a second, according to which a "judgment" is automatically formed that creates the feeling. I don't know if such explanation is satisfactory. If this is true, how come that it doesn't happen all the time? Most people you meet don't cause an immediate, clear reaction in you. Is this another mystery of human nature, a fascinating puzzle that makes life totally unpredictable?

A Letter. Goal Achieved??

"This is in reference to the article (…) on Creative Thinking by Elsa Franco. I always find her articles inspiring because they make me reflect. The reading is interesting as well as true. Her words bind the reader all over. Like her, I am also in search of hidden wisdom. …… She writes, “No one is perfect and there is always place for improvement. Everything changes, nothing stays the same.” I so agree with her. Yes, life itself is a beautiful opportunity and a possibility to live as we want to, and to breathe freely………I believe that we must not underestimate others' potential or hard work. We don't know when the tables will be overturned. She also mentions a facet of human nature, i.e. the capability of accepting a defeat…….I would finally like to quote her words, “We should never stop learning, being open to new possibilities, trying our wings to see how high we can soar and then try harder.” We can do that by breaking our barriers, by trying to come out of our shells and think, and live outside the box."

Move or Stay?

A person, talking about his (or her) own environment (house, city, country) or the person he lives with or the job he has, says: “I will never be happy in this situation”.

He (or she) has three possible choices:

1. He decides to move somewhere else. In this case, he will have to make major adjustments. The outcome is not certain.

2. He decides to accept the situation and stay. In this case, he will have to make adjustments, give up some of his hopes and wishes. The outcome is not certain.

3. He decides to stay “unwillingly”. In this case he won’t have to make any adjustments and the outcome is certain. He will remain unhappy for good!

Problems

Have you ever wondered about how serious your “problems” are? You might find yourself in a real predicament: in such case your preoccupation is justified, until you find a solution. But there are times when you, without realizing it, make a mountain out of a molehill, truly. Or someone near you does. When this happens, problems arise which create misunderstanding, suffering and upset, without a real reason. They just materialize out of nothing: starting from a simple word, or a facial expression, or a gesture which, from your perspective, is totally meaningless, the situation escalates to a point where it becomes a harsh confrontation, an argument, even a fight. Why? You don’t even understand how a simple statement or action could have been twisted around in such a way that you find yourself where you had never dreamed of being. No one is at fault here. The problem was created, once again, by the lack of proper communication. You say something, and the other interprets your words differently. Or the other way around. 

Is It All A Game?

It comes natural to some (but not many, I reckon) to wonder if there is a precise plan behind the human existence.  Seeing the huge difference among birth conditions, health and wealth situations, peace versus suffering etc. , one cannot help wishing to understand the big WHY behind all this. Such considerations bring us back to the concept of  “The Matrix”, this vast mental game where human beings think they are awake, while in reality they are maneuvered into believing it, while they are not. If this is true, what could be the goal of such deception? And, most of all, why are we endowed with a brain that keeps asking these questions - if it is not possible to receive or find an answer?

Frustration

One of the most frustrating things you may experience is being unable to communicate your feelings. It seems that you and your interlocutor are on different planes, where there is no way to understand each other. It is like when you are in a foreign country, but you don't know the language and the natives don't know yours. You talk and talk, to no avail. When this happens, you feel frustrated because, no matter how hard you try to express your thoughts, to explain the reasons for your behavior or the meaning of what you are saying, you just cannot get through to him/her. You find a wall in front of you: your words hit it and just bounce back, without leaving a trace. Actually, no. It yields a result, but it's not a positive one. It seems that, the more you try to get through, the harder the walls becomes. What to do? No ready-made solution, here. It needs to be discovered, if there is a chance of finding it.

Progress

Until not too many decades ago families used to have dinner together, exchange news, talk to each other, tell what had happened during the day. Throughout the evening, they were communicating “the whole time”. A few decades later, with the advent of television, families were still having dinner together. They exchanged news and talked, before moving into the living room to watch TV together. The length of direct communication had significantly decreased, but they were still spending time with each other. Nowadays most families don’t have dinner together, each member watches TV in their own rooms or uses other "private" technological means of communication.  People in the same family hardly see each other, spend time or talk to each other. This is one of the results of the so called “progress”.

Fear Can Be Overcome

When you get ready to start something new, when you want to try what you have never tried before, fear joins enthusiasm. If you decide to make a major change in your life, to put behind something in your past that did not make you happy, the moment you start packing up for your "journey", you begin having doubts.What is awaiting me? Will I make it? Will I...? What if…? There are so many ifs, so many doubts, so many fears! Fear of having to give up something, even if it is for a greater good; fear of having to struggle  to find the new path to success. 

Just think: "If I am truly convinced of the step I am about  to make, if I carefully weighed the pros and cons of what I intend to do, why worry?"  In spite of the uncertainty that tries to weaken your trust, there is a deep knowing that all is well. An intimate, indescribable feeling whispers: "Go ahead, you can do it!" Listen to it.

Attitude Matters

It is your attitude (first mental, then material, i.e. thoughts and actions) toward others that creates either good or bad relationships, love or hate, peace or war. An old tale says that a man, wishing to move to another city, inquired about character and moods of its inhabitants. “In the place I am coming from”, he explained, “all people are bad, unpleasant and selfish”. They answered him: “Well, we are afraid this city is not suitable for you. People here are exactly the same”. Another traveler came by and asked the same question. He said: “The place I come from is lovely. People are good, pleasant, generous". And this is the answer he got: “You will enjoy living here because our people are exactly the same”. Want to give it a thought?

"Real" Belief?

I have often wondered if it is peculiar to the human nature to "believe" what one is told. I also wonder if human beings believe what they are told because they are deeply convinced (i.e. it all makes real sense to them) or rather because they allow themselves to get conditioned, as it appears to be the easiest thing to do.

Should we try to answer such questions or had we better continue believing (or "not" believing) without any further investigation?

How Do You Move?

Sometimes buses are not allowed to circulate in cities' downtown due to road works, so they have to make some detours in order to reach their destination. This is the way some people manage their lives. Could it be that you, too, choose not to follow the logical path (does “logic” exist, anyway?) that goes straight ahead, and decide instead to take two steps forward and one step back, to move sideways, or even to leave the path you are on in order to follow a different one… In the end, you still reach your destination, but with much more effort. Any chance to make it easier? Or would you find it too dull? It seems that you, in fact, often unconsciously prefer challenges, even the needless ones.

Existential Questions

If you feel you have failed (= not achieved what you expected) in your life, ask yourself the following questions:

What have I done wrong? 

Could I have done things differently? 

Did I have too high a goal? 

Did I actually "have" a goal? 

Did I expect too much? 

Did I expect too much "from people"? 

Am I "totally" responsible for the failure I perceive? 

Could some things have been avoided or were they a "must happen"?

A Little Shift

A patient, friendly attitude should be displayed with whomever you are dealing with. This includes the cashier at the supermarket, the janitor in your office, the salesperson whose behavior gets on your nerves. When you are kind and patient, the others notice the  way you treat them and will act accordingly. Sometimes it only takes a little shift in addressing people to upturn relationships for the better. Have you ever paid attention to how different your appearance  is  early in the morning, when you haven’t combed your hair yet and when – later – you have? It's still you, it's still your hair but... what a difference! You almost look another person. The same happens when you smile or say "Thank you" and... when you don't!

Self-portrait

When you don't take care of the way you portray yourself, you are limiting your options for success. Along with your physical appearance, you have to pay attention to your attitude and also  to your body language. Not only the way you dress, but also the way you present yourself and deal with others has an impact upon the opinion people form of you when they deal with you, and makes them decide what to think about you. Therefore, it is advisable to pay attention  to what you wear and what you say as well as to the body expressions (face, hands etc.) that inevitably accompany your words.

Appearance Is Important

What do you think about the way you present yourself to the world? Do you believe that the image you are projecting is the best yourself? Could it be improved? If your answer is "yes", what could be done? Some people have the skill, the ability to instinctively know what suits them and what doesn't.  Some don't. What about your physical appearance? Take a good look at yourself. Go to the mirror and observe. Is your hair in good condition? Decent haircut and grooming? What about your clothes? Are they simple but elegant or are they sloppy? Do they show that you care or do they show that your image is the last thing in your mind?