What a Waste!

Are you ever really satisfied? Think for a moment of something you wanted badly. Then you got it.  What then? For how long were you happy with it? How long did your gratitude last? Did you truly feel any gratitude at all?

It seems that nowadays having our real needs met is not sufficient to make us relax and enjoy life. We are constantly led to feel dissatisfied, to nurse the desire for more, always more, to wish to reach what seems to be always beyond our grasp. Why? Because a new "basic need" is being instilled in us daily, i.e. the need to overlook what is in front of us in order to cherish a mirage that will never become a reality (the perfect body, the strongest  muscles, the huge bank account, the forever adoring partner....) How sad. What a waste of time. What a waste of life.

"With A Smile"

We often prepare ourselves, make plans, do all that needs to be done in order to achieve a certain result. But then something - totally unforeseen - happens and things take a different course. How to deal with the disappointment? Probably "with a smile". There is very little we can do in front of situations that are beyond our control. Accepting willingly what we cannot avoid makes life easier (if not happier). Amen.

P.S. This was the advice that Socrates' jailer gave the Greek philosopher while handing him the poison he had been condemned to drink. Difficult to accept it "with a smile"? It seems that Socrates did. After all... wasn't he one of the wisest men who ever lived?

The Acrobat's Achievements

I am still wondering if it's really possible to overcome our limits but, as usual, finding a "final answer" is not easy. If you look at a result that you were not able to achieve to the extent you wanted, you have to admit that - in spite of your good will and effort - not everything is possible. On the other hand, if you think of a circus acrobat who is able to carry out unbelievable performances, you start doubting again, “Is it the outside world or is it me”? The acrobat reaches outstanding results with great patience, commitment, sacrifice, trust. Most of all, he believes in himself, in his skill, in his capability to achieve the goal. He never gives up, he never loses sight of his target, he never loses faith in the goodness of his endeavor. He knows that his effort is worthwhile and that it will yield its fruit in due time. How do you feel about yourself? How easily can you be disappointed, defeated by a failure? You often feel you are struggling against forces that are beyond your power. But this may not be true.

You Need to "Experience"

In your life, you need to “experience”, to go through all the necessary steps to reach the outcome, to achieve your goal, to arrive where you are planning to go. If you are denied the trip, reaching your destination will not be rewarding enough. Therefore, if today is a mixture of joy and sorrow, excitement and boredom, health and pain, let accept it as a complete, creative palette of feelings that allows you to fully savor the condition we call Life. Each "color", each element that is part of your day will give you reason for growth, progress, advancement on your path.

Do You Really Want to "Know"?

Everybody would love to have an always pleasant life, each of us longs for easy times, with no struggle and certainty regarding outcomes. But let's think for a moment: were we sure of the outcome, were life to serve us our wishes on a silver tray, would we still feel enthusiastic and hopeful about starting a new day? If you are reading a thriller or watching an exciting movie, how would you feel is someone comes along and tells you how the story ends? Wouldn't you feel disappointed? Wouldn't you think that you have been deprived of the actual experience you were entitled to? 

Stop Resisting Change

You see change all around you, in nature, in things, in situations, in people. You know it is inevitable. What about “you”? How willing are YOU to accept change when it is necessary? Don't you usually tend to resist the idea of changing something in your life because you are afraid of making a mistake? You think of all the possible outcomes and, as you cannot be certain of a definitely positive result, you prefer to remain where you are rather then risk regretting your choice later. In so doing, you stay put in a rut, stuck in a situation which, although not the best, is at least a familiar challenge to deal with. But often, when faced by new happenings that defy you, a different kind of choice is required, if you want to progress on your path. Here is the pattern:

* You complain about something you are not happy with.

* You think, you reflect upon the problem, and a possible solution starts to materialize in your mind.

* Once you make the choice, you can relax and start thinking about new possibilities and opportunities.

How does it sound? Are you willing to take this idea into consideration?

Is Peace "Really" Important?

Superficial people, who don’t reflect on the issue, believe that there are plenty of things more important than “peace”. They think that peace is a consequence of achieving what they value most: health, wealth, beauty, success, fame, power, romantic love etc… They believe that, having obtained one or several of them, peace and happiness will automatically manifest. They think of happiness as the fulfillment of their desires. But no one can say: “I am a powerful (famous, rich etc.) person” and be automatically happy. Many problems and responsibilities, in fact, are connected to any way of "being". Human beings seem unable to just live in the moment and enjoy the gifts they have been given. Examine yourself and see what your situation is.

Dis-satisfaction

Women who are already beautiful are never satisfied with their looks. If you have good health, you probably take it for granted and don’t pay too much attention to it. One who is rich either tries to increase his capital or is afraid of losing it. Some believe that love will make them happy, forever, only to discover that nothing and no one can make them “feel” more serene. It is up to you to create in yourself a state of mind receptive to calm and tranquility. Try to stop  worrying, fretting, getting upset, expecting… A simple act of acceptance of what you presently have is the most secure way to find peace in your heart.

Opportunities

The definition of "opportunity" is a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something, to attain a goal. Synonyms are "chance" and "possibility". Beside the usual application of this word to job, career, making money etc., can also the circumstances in your life be tools that help you learn and grow? How do you see the situations you are challenged by every day? Dealing with a grumpy face? Being overworked and feeling resentful? Having a nice conversation with a friend? Enjoying a delicious dinner? Yes, you love the latter but you loathe the former. But dealing with unpleasant situations can teach you much more then having things go your way. Why? Because when things go your way you don't feel the need to improve yourself. When you have to deal with what you don't like,  though, you have the choice between reacting negatively or deciding to learn how to modify your perspective. In the long run, such a change will bring more serenity and happiness in your life.

A Short Poem

Years ago I wrote this short poem:

Looking for Peace in a World at War

You can’t say you have found peace

Only because all weapons are silent, here.

True peace can be solely created

And cultivated at a deeper level,

In each person’s heart.

Therefore…. also in yours!

Isn't this valid today, too? Besides, nothing seems to be really "silent", nowadays. Rifles are shooting, missiles are hitting, bombs are exploding, storms are raging, people are fighting...

Examine Your "Stuff"

When I began to seriously  examine some of the ways, attitudes and behaviors I used to have in total UN-awareness, a lot of hidden “stuff” started coming up to the surface of my consciousness. Only when you become aware of what is going on inside of you, can you start making changes, if you think you need to, and choose to do so. This goes for any trait of your character and behavior you might have not paid enough attention to. It’s all to your own benefit! But…Who knows? Also others might feel encouraged to follow your example.

An Underestimated Virtue

What do you think of patience? If you are one of the few who can give whatever is going on in your life all the time it needs to develop properly - no matter how long it takes - you are a lucky person indeed. Most people wish they could achieve success overnight, obtain what they desire in a short time. Unfortunately, things don’t usually go this way, and the result is disappointment, frustration, sometimes even depression.

A well-known joke tells of a man who was praying, saying, “Dear God, please…please, give me patience. But I WANT IT NOW!!!”

Does it ring a bell?

“No great thing is created suddenly. There must be time. Give your best and always be kind.” (Epictetus, Greek philosopher)

The Answer

The previous question was: Can you do something about your mood swings? I believe you can. Your usual ways seem not to be working. You try to ignore the feeling or you resist it. You might try to replace it with something else. Do you succeed? Hardly. Could a possible way be “acceptance”? You acknowledge the feeling of sadness, of dissatisfaction, without identifying with it: this is the trick. Accept that it is there BUT, rather than saying “I AM depressed”, say “Right now I am experiencing this feeling of depression.” Then add: “But it will pass.” Magic words? Not really, but they might help, provided you persist in re-programming  your belief in your power to change “stuff” (thoughts, convictions, pre-conceived ideas, feelings…), which – believe it or not – you actually possess.