First Happy, Then Depressed?

Sometimes your mood suddenly swings from one side to the other. You are happy, everything seems to be going your way for days then - often with no apparent reasons - you start feeling not so good, sadness creeps in, you experience a kind of dissatisfaction, a sort of "lack" (you usually don't even know of "what"). Why does this happen? Hard to say. You only know that it's highly distressing, it makes you feel out of control of your feelings - which is not a pleasant realization. Can you do something? Think it over. We'll talk about it next.

Imposition

You tend to believe that your behavior is always right. It usually is, but not "always". Ask yourself if you ever try to shape up the lives of those who are close to you, of those who depend on you. If you find that you are taking advantage of your position to impose your will, STOP! Everyone has the right to make their own choices, even if they are in contrast with yours. Remind yourself that it’s their own life, not yours. As “you” are free to choose, so are “they ”!

Still On "Fear"

If you carefully examine each characteristic of the human behavior, including yours, you will find out that fear is the real "engine" that creates an imaginary world in front of your eyes. In order to set yourself free, you need first to accept your fears. Say: “Yes, it is true. I am afraid”. Only then will you start to realize the deception you created to grant yourself a fictitious  security blanket. You will then understand that you don’t need to be jealous in order to keep love because jealousy is not a good "helper", that you don’t need to wear yourself out to earn more money when you realize that all that your dear ones want is your time, affection and availability. Recognize now  the lie you founded your life upon and dare to admit your weaknesses. Everybody else is scared, just like you! 

Fear Is The Spring

Fear is possibly the spring behind most of your actions. It determines your attitudes because it conditions your mind. The way you act is its direct consequence. Here are three scenarios to reflect upon.

1.  You are the jealous type and  justify your jealousy by making it appear as a characteristic or a consequence of love. Is it not rather the fear of losing your beloved?  Or the awareness that, if you are left alone, you will feel impoverished, inadequate to pursue your path?

2.   You are too sure of yourself and tend to behave like a sort of dictator. Are you not  afraid of not being respected enough by others if you show your true nature, your doubts and weaknesses?

3.   If, instead, you are too shy and easily influenced and manipulated by others, it could be that the fear of being neglected or ignored makes you accept everything, even abuse, just to be accepted.

Add other possible scenarios of your own. You might get interesting and useful insights.

A Dull Existence

How sad it is to see so many lives being wasted…perhaps even your own! The days drag along, one after the other, always the same, with no excitement, and you do not realize the many opportunities  given to you to live fully, to understand the meaning of each instant – because you take everything for granted. You don’t make any effort to see beyond the appearance, to discover what else can be done with what you have.

Be brave! Dare to raise your eyes from the ground (while paying attention to your step!), look up and let your sight wonder freely through infinite possibilities! 

A Quiet, Desperate Life?

Sometimes, in the evening, you are glad that another day is over: but you don’t feel the satisfaction of the people who  made the best of their time, who enjoyed each instant as something magnificent and unique. You release your day, you discharge it  as a burden, without thinking that it will never come back.  You   worry about tomorrow, but forget to appreciate today. Thoreau talked about “… a life of quiet desperation” (i.e. dull, lazy resignation).

Is this the way you want to live?

Releasing Control

Let us talk again about “control”. Why? Because it’s one of the strongest motivations behind human behavior. Here is one of its facets: Accept the idea that you have absolutely no control over some things and/or situations. Ask yourself if you ever experienced such "powerlessness".  If you did, be aware that the only thing you have control over is your reaction to whatever happens. You might disagree and believe that sometimes the stimuli are too strong, that you can’t possibly react differently. Nevertheless, in order to live better and re-create your life, the need for control over others must be released. You can do it because, in spite of what you may have believed up to now, 
1. there is always a choice
2. the choice is always yours 
3. and…  you always have a choice!

Stay Alert

A very short reminder:

Being aware means not only to realize what is going on and pay attention to what you are doing right now. It also means to be watchful, vigilant, always on the look out. You don't "worry" about what might happen, but you are "ready" for it.
When you are not focused and alert, you are not living. What about that?

Don't Miss the Sunrise

When you decide to learn something new, focus all your attention on the new notions in order to understand, assimilate and make them your own. When they become part of your personal knowledge, they became part of you, thus contributing to your transformation into a more complete human being. Personal growth brings you closer to real progress, to a better understanding of yourself and others. The sun rises and sets, good opportunities show up and disappear, leaving you with a great sorrow, with the regret of having been unable to grasp them because you have not been alert enough. You were sleeping when dawn broke in the eastern sky and you missed a wonderful sight. Tomorrow, maybe, you shall not have another opportunity to enjoy a similar experience. 

Day After Day...

The way you behaved yesterday brought you “where” you are right now, made you “what” you are right now. Ask yourself: Am I happy with where I am? Am I satisfied with the way I am? If you stop to ponder this issue for an instant, you realize that whatever you are doing this very moment and whatever you will be doing in a minute are going to create consequences that will shape your future life. And what determines your behavior? YOUR  MIND! Your thoughts  are, literally, the ingredients with which the “dish” of your life is prepared. Every now and then you may tend to minimize the importance of a negative thought. Don’t! Every thought is a seed that, if nursed, will yield the logical result. Each action implies a consequence. Each thought first generates the words you utter, then the actions you perform. Therefore your thoughts and, consequently, your deeds create the kind of life you live, day after day, for good.

Move Over There!

Disappointment is a very common feeling that is experienced by all, more often than not. You try, and try….But you don’t get it! You keep on trying, but you don’t succeed! So what? Isn’t it human to just “get the message” and give up? Absolutely! It’s the right choice for you –  if you believe that resignation is an acceptable response. If you don’t believe it, you will make a different choice, i.e. you will keep on trying, possibly in another way, at another time, maybe with a different attitude. Who knows what prevented you from achieving your goal? Sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. If you keep standing here, the only road you see is the one in front of your eyes. But if you decide to stand over there, maybe a new road will show up. It goes in the same direction, it only follows a different path.

Erase!

When you are troubled by a worrisome thought, try this. See with your mind’s eyes the word that symbolizes your worry (future, money, relationships etc.) in big bold letters. Then, with an imaginary eraser, slowly “erase” it. Fill the empty space with a word that represents the opposite (now, wealth, love etc.). If you try this simple exercise often, expect positive results. A laughable quick fix?  Maybe. But… why not try it? You might be pleasantly surprised. No positive endeavor is ever lost.

Need Something New?

It’s fun to watch old sit-coms on TV. But then, at a certain point, you get fed up. Doesn’t something similar happen in life? In your life, too? Do you sometimes feel you are stuck in a rut? Doing the same thing? At the same time and/or place? In the same way? If this is the case, all you need is CHANGE. Don’t stop watching TV, if you enjoy it, just change the channel. Don’t give up doing what you think is good for you, just change “how” you do it. You may also try something totally new…Face a challenge (It doesn’t matter how small). Be brave! I’ve decided to start learning a new foreign language. So far, I don’t need it but…it certainly "is" fun!

The Enclosure

A pretty canary had been living in a small cage for a long time, so it was used to taking short flights around its enclosure. One day it was transferred into a much wider cage but, strangely enough, the canary still kept taking short flights. It never realized that the bars were not there any more. Why? Evidently it kept accepting limits that did not exist. It did not try to (and, sadly, it never will) step “beyond”. Do YOU do the same? Do you accept limits that you - yourself - have created?  Do you resign yourself to live within the boundaries that others have put all around you? Do you ever wonder if these confines are illusory and/or if they can be overcome?