Appreciation

You certainly wish to be appreciated, don't you? And it is fair. It is your right and you should expect it any time you deserve it. But... do "you" appreciate others? Do you take the time to notice a kind action, a meal well prepared,  a good advice given, and acknowledge it? As you would like your peers to pay attention to whatever you do that deserves praise, so would they. A kind word, a smile, a friendly gesture are never useless. They can often change one's mood for the better. Did it ever happen to you to receive a sincere compliment and feel it lighten up your day? You see? It works!

Your Sparkle

It is possible that some people in your life try to "dim your sparkle". Don't allow them to take your enthusiasm away from you. If they feel you are heading towards greater achievements than theirs, they will do anything to make you doubt your self-confidence. If they see you happy, they will endeavor to smother your joy with subtle words or actions. Don't allow them to do that. They are envious of your belief in yourself, they don't want to see you succeed. Let them out of your life. Negative influences must be eliminated.

Intelligence vs. Character

Intelligence could be defined as the "capability" to face life's challenges. Character could be defined as the "way" you choose to face such challenges. They may seem practically the same thing, but they are not. An intelligent person is able to find a solution to a problem, solution that can be either fair or selfish - and they usually choose the selfish one. A person of character knowingly discriminates between the fair and the selfish, and they usually choose the fair. Nowadays it seems that education is leaning towards giving more importance to the former, thus creating a generation of prevalently self-centered, egotistical individuals. It's up to each of us to see the difference, truly understand it and act accordingly.

Be Careful

Clothes don't make who someone "is". They give human beings a certain appearance, they make them look good (or not so good), but they don't give any idea of their real nature. The individual essence remains hidden inside, is invisible. That is why you can never know "what" people really are by judging them - not only by their clothes by also by their behavior. A behavior can be faked, so you can easily be deceived by a smile, a show of kindness or friendliness. Hypocrisy is more common than you could expect. What to do? Stop trusting your fellow human beings? Certainly not. Just be careful. Don't give your trust quickly and totally. In due time, you will know who deserves it and who doesn't.

Spiritual Furniture

Life can be likened to a piece of furniture - a chest of drawers or a cupboard - that is either suddenly smashed by a collapsing ceiling or slowly eroded by a woodworm till it is totally ruined. The timings are different, the final result is the same. Things happen in different ways: a sudden negative event that changes your life in a whim or a slow transformation due to disappointment, regrets, sorrow... Sad situation? Certainly. Can it be avoided? Hardly. What to do? Accept it and try to also identify the positive events that took place. How to do it? By becoming aware that you survived the "crash", and by remembering the small victories beside the disappointments, the little joys beside the sorrow.

Acknowledge vs. Know

By now, you should have realized that you have no control whatsoever over certain situations (and people). If you did, it's good. But this is not all. Acknowledging is not enough. You must also accept it. This might be more difficult. In fact, "understanding" is not the same as "knowing". You understand with your mind (it is a "physical" thing) but you know with your heart (it is an intimate "feeling"). Therefore, in order to acquire peace and serenity while facing life's challenges, you must first become aware and then accept - willingly - what is out of your reach, what is out of your direct influence. There is no other way.

Managing Life

I find these words uttered by a character in a book by M. Barbery quite interesting: "I only managed to get through my everyday life thanks to my ignorance of any alternatives". Yes, they are interesting but also sad, though, because the truth is that too many people trudge through their whole existence experiencing negative feelings such as boredom, resignation, resentment, disillusionment etc. because they never realize that at least one alternative is always available. They "manage" to carry on with their life instead of actively, joyfully, intensely "living" it. 

Appearance

In a world where people have been brought to believe that "appearance" is all that is needed to be successful, it shouldn't be surprising to see how many strive to obtain the looks, the wealth, the fame they believe will make them "winners". Hence, plastic surgery and gyms are sky-rocketing fads for those who want to get the body of their dreams, business enterprises are carried out in often unethical ways, actions are performed in a disreputable manner only to attract attention and .... be on the TV news! The old Machiavelli idea of the aim justifying the means has never been as believed in and followed as nowadays. Personality, good intentions, generosity and altruism seem to have become second (or even third) class virtues. For many, not for all - fortunately. Where do "you" stand?

Ingredients

The capability that people have of "doing" things is amazing. They start by reaching a small goal, by achieving a tiny success and then, if they have the persistence to never give up, they can go on and climb up to the top. Even the greatest writers, for example, started by learning the alphabet and then jotting down simple sentences while trying to express their thoughts and feelings. Eventually, they became acclaimed authors. You, too, can attain higher results, provided you have faith in yourself and in the goodness of what you are after. Motivation and trust are the main ingredients of success.

At the Helm

Imagine your life like a sea you are sailing upon. The atmospheric conditions are not your choice because they are beyond your control. Yet, you are not helpless. When you are at the helm of your vessel, you are in charge of adjusting the sails, of changing direction, of reducing or accelerating the speed etc. Given any situation, you "can" (usually) do something about it because you have insight, i.e. you are able to understand and make decisions. But if you don't trust your "sailing" ability, if you believe the "weather" to be impossible to deal with, then... you have no hope of overcoming any obstacle, of winning any challenge.

Competition

Competition is 'the activity or condition of striving to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others'. It has always existed and it will always exist because it seems to be an instinctive desire, something that is felt even without conscious thought. It is dictated by the law of survival and it should be accepted as such. Also in sport it is the trigger that pushes any athlete to win the race. Therefore, is competitiveness a good thing? It is a human trait, so it must be considered as "natural". But from a spiritual point of view, it seems less cherishable. The desire to be the best you can be should not make you strive to be "better than others". Why? Because in such desire is hidden a secret wish to crush, defeat, belittle another human being. And this is not so commendable.

Bargaining

To bargain means to negotiate, to discuss the terms of a contract or an agreement. Apparently, it is a good idea because everyone always tries to obtain the best conditions for themselves. In business it is customary, agreed upon and accepted as  a sort of rule. In life it can be less cherished by some. In fact, there are people who enjoy this kind of "sport", while others abhor it. Feeling that someone is trying to get the "most" from you while giving their "least" is not a pleasant feeling. If you are not good enough at this kind of psychological gymnastics, you will be taken advantage of by the smart guys. "Smart"? This what "they" believe thy are. But they are simply exploiters who take advantage of the good faith of simpler, more direct souls.

Thorns and Roses

Complaining seems to come more natural than appreciating and being happy. We all know the story of the glass that can be perceived as half full or half empty. The glass is the same, the amount of liquid in it is the same, yet the perception of its reality radically changes according to the way our brain (or mood) chooses to interpret it. A thorny rose bush can be seen as a rose bush with thorns (and complained about) or as a thorn bush with roses (appreciated and enjoyed). Some situations and people are as they are and little (if anything) can you do to change them. But it's up to you to decide whether to drink what is in the glass or stay thirsty because there isn't enough, or complain about the thorns instead of enjoying the beauty and scent of the roses.

Wait

One of the greatest lessons that should be learned in life is patience. Whatever you are waiting for, will happen but only when the time is right. You may fret and worry because time seems not to pass quickly enough  for your wish to materialize but... just be patient and all will be well. There is a time for everything so, as you can't make a seed grow into a plant before the period allotted, in the same way you cannot make the days, hours or even minutes pass by more quickly. While waiting, keep yourself busy with something else. It will help you to distract your mind from your fixed idea and, with your attention engaged somewhere else, time will "actually" pass more quickly. 

Blowing and Sprinkling

Long-lasting love cannot be unilateral. Imagine a blazing fire and two people in front of it. One is blowing on the flame to keep it alive while the other is sprinkling water on it. Can the fire be kept alive forever? Well, it might, provided the "blowing" is stronger than the "sprinkling". But sometime even the best intentions to make a relationship (romantic, family-related, friendly) work can succumb under the continuous drizzling of carelessness, irresponsibility, indifference. No need for a strong rain: a daily water dripping can be enough to put out what started as a blaze.

Freedom of Expression

Every now and then, especially after reading something on the news, I feel the need to come back to the true meaning of the word "freedom". The standard definition is "the power or right to act, speak or think as one wants". I agree on this, provided that such power or right do not infringe the rights of others.

As today we talk a lot about 'freedom of expression', here is the definition I found: "the right to express one's ideas and opinions freely through speech, writing, and other forms of communication but without deliberately causing harm to others' character and/or reputation by false or misleading statements. Freedom of press is part of freedom of expression". The whole problem we are facing nowadays is that the part that says, "without deliberately causing harm...." is voluntarily ignored.

Results

Results should be waited for - patiently. When you plant a seed, you can't expect to see it germinate, develop into a plant, give you flowers and fruit in a very short time. You need to be forbearing, while taking care of it in a suitable way. The same happens when you try to assist someone else. You express a positive idea with the intention of helping a distressed, disappointed friend. They may listen to you, appreciate what you say, but you cannot predict when the outcome will become apparent. Any original idea, any new possibility or alternative might seem attractive but difficult to put into practice. That is why you must be tolerant - with yourself and with others - and allow the "seed" sufficient time to go through all the natural stages of its development until... full bloom!

Inspiration

In life there are leaders and followers. A leader is a human being who is able to inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more (as American President J.Q. Adams said). It certainly is wonderful to have the capability of showing other individuals the path to personal improvement. Also being a good follower is important, though - but not many allow themselves to be inspired. You may be one of those who have great ideals and are able to share them, or you may be one of those who appreciate someone else's ideals and are willing to follow their example. But, please, try not to be one who is "neither", i.e. one of those who are totally indifferent towards any higher inspiration and choose to simply shuffle around with their eyes fixed on the ground.

Time

If you thought - seriously - about the importance of time, you would not waste it, ever. You are so used to "living" that you take it for granted. But it is not to be taken for granted. You don't know how much time you have to fulfill your responsibilities, to carry out your dreams, to improve yourself, to be happy... It seems that many other things often get in the way and prevent you from doing ("well and completely") what you know you should be doing. This is the problem: you are so used to having time that you don't realize that it passes quickly, that it won't come back, that wasting it is a serious mistake (first of all towards yourself!)

General Culture

Seeking knowledge should be among your priorities. Why? Because "knowing" adds to who you are (not in a spiritual sense, but in your 'being human'). As you live in a world that exists around you and affects your existence, you should be interested in learning more about it: the environment, the different places, its history, the natural phenomena, its constitution,  the people who inhabit it and their cultures, music, the arts; and also the universe, the wonders of the cosmos... You don't need to spend your life "studying" to become an expert in anything (except, maybe, in what concerns your own job), but a fair amount of general culture is required from everyone. Unless you don't care to be considered ignorant.

A Possible Best-Seller

Imagine you are a writer, sitting in front of your computer, ready to start writing a book. It is a biography, the story of someone's life. That "someone" is you. Wow. Can you picture yourself as the author who is creating, by typing words after words, the plot of your own existence? Well, if you can't, you should think better. Why? Because you actually "are" the author of your life. Moment by moment you design your life through the choices  you make: the deeds you do, the words you use, the thoughts you allow in your mind. Therefore, as it is you who decide what to think, say and do, why not develop a plot that is beautiful, exciting, charming? Why not make it a masterpiece? As a writer decides what to write, it's up to you to discriminate between positive and negative choices, every instant of your day. One by one, such choices will build your whole life.

Hope and Trust

Learn from the past, live in the present, that's all good. But what about the future? Is it advisable to think of it or should you stop wondering about what will happen? Thinking and planning for the future is normal and logical but the problem arises when you think too much about it. Why? Because then you tend to "worry". You don't know what will happen, you are not sure about what to do, you are afraid that your action will be unsuccessful... Hence, the fear. Try not to obsess over tomorrow but, rather, learn to nurse hope inside of you. If you look ahead in a positive way, you see how much easier it is to make decisions. And, most of all, you are able to relax in the "now" because you trust that things will be taken care of, when time comes.