Regrets

Many people like changes and adventure. They enjoy buying a new car, changing hairstyle, deciding to go on a diet. They like to travel and spend their vacations in exotic places. These are nice changes that don’t really impact your life in too great a measure because they are small changes. When you think of big changes, life changes, the situation is different. Here, you might get scared. Facing the unknown is no easy endeavor. Moving to another country, giving up your job, starting a family, plunging into a new business, working on yourself in earnest…These are commitments that may be frightening. But something else may be even scarier: when you don’t do it and, later, you realize you made a mistake. Regrets are one of the saddest feelings ever.

A Misunderstanding

A great misunderstanding that is very common nowadays regards the interpretation of the word ‘success’. In talking of successful people, people usually refer to film stars, musicians, entrepreneurs, billionaires, tv personalities, well-known athletes. These are individuals who seem to have it all. Thus, many look up to them, and see them as hugely successful. But they only consider the amount of money, fame, power that these personages have. In spite of all the gossip that is written about their lives, no-one really knows who these flamboyant characters are. They may be good, but they could also be not so good. They have material abundance, but they may lack the qualities that make a human being great: compassion, generosity, availability, honesty, caring. Do you see yourself as successful?

Dealing With Memories

It would be unusual to think of an episode that took place in your life long ago without experiencing some kind of feeling. It is common, in fact, to remember something that happened in the past with either joy or sorrow. You experience joy when the memory brings you back to a happy time, it is sad if what happened was a source of grief. Not only. Such memory may also make you sad because you remember a happy moment and you realize that it will never be experienced again. It’s gone forever. Yes, it’s gone but…it has been yours, it gave you happiness, it made you feel good. Therefore now, while re-living that moment, focus on experiencing that joy again, and forget that it’s gone. Be just grateful that it happened.

Attention!

Every single day you have to deal with ‘the others’. At home, at work, when you are out...You meet people, you talk to them and, in so doing, you can’t help noticing different traits of their personalities. The fact is that, although you don’t ignore their positive characteristics, when you see them (They are friendly, nice, funny, generous), it’s the negative ones that mostly catch your attention. They are rude, unfriendly, uncooperative, unavailable, cold, superficial, stingy…Beware! Judging is tricky because, in most cases, it disguises the truth. Yes, your interlocutors may seem as you described them but, if you care to get to know them better, you may realize that a different person is hidden behind the negative appearance. Therefore, a bit of leniency is advisable here: being ‘human’ also means being ‘humane’.

'Old' Good News

Everybody undergoes challenges and faces problems during their life. Sometimes you, too, may feel discouraged because things go wrong, some difficulties seem unsurmountable. You feel overwhelmed by responsibilities, you are tired, you don’t feel up to it, you just wish to leave it all behind, and go live on a desert island. The bad news is that, most probably, things won’t get easier tomorrow or after tomorrow. But there is good news, and it is huge. Here it is: You can do it! Okay, it’s not ‘new’ news because you have heard it many times before. Everybody has. Nevertheless, have you ever really reflected on what this means? It means that, once you start believing that you can overcome all obstacles, you become stronger, more efficient, more self-confident. So, welcome this ‘old’ good news and...do it!

Be careful!

When something upsets you, when you are really angry, when you are hurt by someone, you may have the tendency to take drastic decisions. ‘I quit!’, ‘I’ll move!’. “I’m breaking up’! ‘It’s over!’. If you wait till you calm down, you realize that you don’t really want to do it, it was just a momentary ‘explosion’. On the flip side, when you are happy you may be tempted to make promises that are a bit too extreme.‘I’ll give you…’.‘I’ll take you…’.‘I’ll buy…’.‘I’ll do…’.'From tomorrow I…’All wonderful promises, to yourself or to someone else. But, as anger makes you see all too black, so happiness makes you see all too luminous. Neither view is advisable. In order to take an important decision, or to make a weighty promise, your mind needs to be clear and your mouth used wisely.

Give Credit to Yourself

It's time to re-evaluate yourself. You have heard so much about what you could and should do to improve your behavior that you ended up ignoring all the 'good' that you are actually doing. The important thing is to constantly be aware of your thoughts and actions, including all of them in your assessment. If you are a careful observer, you realize that, beside the flaws that pop up every now and then, there are many commendable things that you do but tend to overlook.  A smile, a kind word, a helping hand, a listening ear...all good deeds that - although you often neglect to continue on the same path - you must give credit to. Acknowledging them, you reassure yourself about your capability of being a truly nice human being. Because you are.

Don't Pretend

When something 'bad' happens in your life, it is better for you to let your pain, disappointment, grief manifest itself. You may try to convince yourself that, after all, it was not a big deal. Maybe it wasn't, or maybe it was. The point is that, when you endeavor to keep a stiff lip and to hold your emotions in check, you are only hurting yourself more. In certain situations you don't need to be stoic, to display restraint all the time. Letting yourself go, allowing your distress to manifest itself in whatever way is more suitable and comfortable for you, can be the best and fastest way to overcome negative feelings. Don't pretend that everything is alright when it isn't. Showing your weakness is a sign of strength. It means that you are smart enough to detect when you can just acknowledge and move on and, on the other hand, when-before releasing-you need to stop, analyze, grieve. 

Golden Silence

'Silence is golden' is well-known advice. It suggests that sometimes being silent is better than speaking, so it is wise to accept and follow it in many situations. But not always. Especially in relationships, not expressing one's own feelings may be the cause of serious problems, sometimes irreparable. You keep quiet today and don't make your feelings manifest to a person you care about. You do the same tomorrow and the following day. Little by little, one step at the time, a barrier is built between you and the other. You started believing that not saying how bad you felt about their behavior would keep the peace, would not cause a possibly bigger problem. But not speaking up, keeping your doubt, sorrow, pain shut inside yourself either creates a dangerous 'pressure', or dampens your love and caring till they disappear. And the relationship ends.

Your Valuable Contribution

If you take care of yourself, if you do the things you are supposed to do such as nourish yourself in a healthy way, provide for your body enough exercise, sleep well and rest, entertain good, positive thoughts...you've done your job. But sometimes you feel you should do something 'good' also for others. And you wonder what this could be. Some are involved in deserving causes, some save lives in hospitals, others fight crime or contribute with their artistic skills, their money or creativity. You feel you don't have any characteristic that enables you do something practical. Many people feel the same. The good news is that you don't need to do anything 'special' or highly skilled. If you are just the best you can be - behaving honestly, being kind, doing what you are good at in the best way you can - you are already carrying out the required 'duty' as a human being. And that is enough!