What Not To Hear

I changed my outlook on how to react to what people say  after reading one of A.de Mello's  little stories, where he talks about a Zen monk whose answer, both when he was falsely accused and when he was asked for forgiveness by his (repented) accusers, was: "Fine!". A wonderful lesson in wisdom, isn't it? If someone criticizes you, you can have two different reactions. You may refuse the criticism all together, believing that you are beyond any negative judgement (But... are you really? Is anybody?) or you can take the "offensive" words into consideration. Here, too, there are two possibilities: if you honestly believe that what was said about you is not true, just ignore it and walk away. Don't be bothered by what you know to be false. On the other hand (and here you need a great amount of open-mindedness) the criticism you received might be well deserved. In this case, it would be wise for you to ponder on what you didn't like to hear and try to understand it. When you understand it, you can learn from it and not repeat the same mistake. Someone said you are too tough in dealing with your co-workers? Were you accused of manipulating a certain situation? She said you are too old (or fat) to wear that kind of dress? He said you are talking too much about your achievements? You are criticized as stuck-up? as too humble? as too needy for recognition? etc. Each human being has been talked about, one time or another. If you are wise, you learn how to deal with such nuisance. If you are not, you will keep on being bothered... forever. People love to talk about others. Don't you, too (honestly)?