Black, White, Or Striped?

I daily see two kinds of birds: the all-white seagulls and the all-black crows. When I look at them I always remember a little story about a bishop who - while visiting an elementary school - asked the children if they believed they were white (=good) or black (=bad). One of the children, evidently the wisest one, answered, "I believe I am striped". What an answer! Human beings more often than not tend to stereotype the view they have of their fellows into specific categories. They put a label on them and.... that's it. Marked for life.... He is stingy. She is vain. They are show-offs. He is a clown. She isn't capable... and so on and so forth. Do you ever take the time, do you even care to find out who and what they (your relatives, friends, co-workers, others in general) really are? I am sure that, if I had the possibility to examine a seagull in detail, I would find that it is "not" totally white, as almost surely a crow is not a hundred per cent black. Maybe just one feather is slightly lighter or darker. That's enough to make the card castle of your judgments collapse. Nothing and nobody is a one hundred per cent "anything:  Learn to be lenient. Leniency is a positive human characteristic that not all human beings possess. It's a virtue that makes you inclined not to be harsh, it encourages you to be merciful and indulgent. While you define another black, do you really believe that you, yourself, are totally white? So... how would you like to be judged by others? How do you think you might be judged by others?

Single Line Only

A reflection was suggested to me by a recent exchange of opinions between friends on Facebook. A famous quote was posted about each of us having to walk our own path. A comment was made about our being alone  on such a path. One friend answered that she is never alone because of spiritual guidance. My reflection is this: If you have spiritual beliefs, you surely feel that you are being guided by a Higher Power. But, either you believe or you don't, here on Earth, in the material world where our existence is taking place, you are alone in doing your own work. You can have your personal spirituality, others can also be there, willing to help: teachers, guru, spiritual leaders, lecturers, authors etc. If you are ready to listen, accept their words and learn from them, you might decide to apply their principles in your life. But in order to apply, you need to endeavor. And this is the "work" that you must  do alone. You are on a narrow path that allows one human being at the time to tread upon it. You may precede or follow someone else. But you may not walk with them. Why? Because their gait and speed is never the same as yours. You may not agree on this, you may be sure that your pace is perfectly coordinated with theirs, that you are proceeding in total harmony. Believe me, you are not. No two persons are exactly the same, therefore their way and/or itinerary cannot be shared. Single line only is permitted.

Worrisome Situation

2012 prophecies or not, no one can deny that NOW it is time of great changes at all levels. A lot of stuff is going on in politics, economy, science, technology, natural disasters etc. Yet part of our society is still living in a world that seems rooted in the least educational - often dangerous, actually - types of "interests". To give an example, I checked the movies that are presently shown in theaters and this is what I found. Beside one romantic movie and two movies for children, here is the description of the others being shown. (I won't mention the titles but I copied the descriptions given on the website exactly). Most of them are rated R.

1. Language and strong violence throughout

2. Crude and sexual content, nudity, drugs, drinking, pervasive language, reckless behavior and mayhem - all involving teens
3. Intense violent  thematic material and disturbing images - all involving teens
4. Drug material.
5. Crude and sexual content, pervasive language, violence and teen drinking
6. Sexual situations, language, dialogue and drug-related humor
7. Strong violence, including some torture, language
Do you think that with this kind of entertainment (including similar topics on TV, books, magazines, videos and video games) the young generation is receiving a good education? And do you think that also the older generation is encouraged to walk into a better, more serene future?

De-clutter Your Mind

When we talk about learning, we usually think about adding something to the notions that we already have, we visualize an additional weight imposed upon our brain, a sort of actual mind-stuffing! New information, new ideas are introduced in our heads thanks to our capability of understanding and remembering. We are even proud of our job. We don't realize that adding more stuff is not what we actually need. What is necessary, especially nowadays - when there is an exceedingly large amount of notions available in various and multiple ways - what is necessary, I was saying, is discarding a lot of junk that is clogging our learning channel. We see too many videos, we read too many books and papers, we hear too many words (most of which.... useless). It's a continuous flowing of images and ideas that enter our minds. We become a sort of hoarders of thoughts, more or less properly assimilated, collectors of opinions that, of course, are never originally ours. When you have listened and accepted what others say, your conditioning makes you believe that you really "own" what you are talking about in your discussions and debates. If you succeed in disposing of as much clutter as possible and make some space in your mind, you will see more clearly what is really good for you. Visualize a room so full of furniture that you can hardly move around and then imagine the same room with just the indispensable few pieces. Don't you think that you can even "breathe" better?

Sex And The T.V.

I would like to understand the modern obsession with sex in TV commercials (not to mention, of course, all the actual programs such as reality shows, sitcoms, film etc..). In the past, ads would focus on the product'goodness and its presentation would be relevant to what they were talking about. Such presentation might have been funny, slightly flirtatious, but never vulgar or openly sexual. When I reflect on the present fad, which is followed by movies, song videos, magazines etc., I can only wonder what the word sex signifies these days. According to the official definition, it generally means "sexual activity". Therefore I wonder how eating a potato chip can be connected with such an action. Of course I am not totally naive, so I understand the implications of the way the girl is pretending to enjoy eating the chip!  But I find it rather sad that today sex seems to need all these types of "reminders". Does it have the necessity to be enhanced or encouraged? Didn't people use to have romantic relationships in the past? I believe they did, with neither problems nor need for reminders and without having to talk about it all the time. It was something natural that no one had to obsess upon, as it appears to be nowadays. As I believe that everything happens for a reason, this compulsion to introduce sexual stuff all the time in all possible situations must mean something, must reflect a specific psychological state our society is currently experiencing. And, of course, it is well exploited by advertising geniuses, film makers, magazine editors etc. with the usual goal of making money. Well, that's progress! (Or is it?)

Dedication, A Virtue

I have recently written about people who are NOT committed to what they first started doing with enthusiasm. Now I want to spend a few words talking about dedication, the meaning of which is not too different from commitment. Yesterday I attended a concert of the Youth Orchestra and I was totally struck by how seriously these young people are following their passion. They are just amateurs who are playing classical music. In spite of my total attention being given to the musicians, I couldn't help noticing that the person sitting next to me kept playing with his cellphone (and left the theater at intermission... By the way, why did he come?). Then a comparison appeared clear to my eyes. The bored man versus those beautiful youngsters - intent faces, eyes on the music sheets in front of them - who were playing divine melodies that could raise you to the highest peaks of elation. Looking at them, I wondered about their future. Some of them may just continue playing as a hobby, others might think of starting a career. Will they be successful? Will they be disappointed? No way to predict it, now. But the positive thing that makes me believe that, no matter what they decide, they will never be deluded is the fact that their heart is in what they are doing. Passion, enthusiasm and dedication are the keys to a meaningful, successful life, no matter what you do. Martin Luther King Jr. said something like, "Even if you are in the humblest position, do your work at your best and you will be doing it with greatness.". Fantastic words, that deserve to be remembered whenever you feel like doing a sloppy or careless job because.... no one is looking. You know!

Angels (and Demons)

A famous ABBA song says "I believe in angels". Do you believe in angels, too? It might be an intriguing question, especially in today's world, where so much is materialistic. With this adjective I don't necessarily mean something bad. I only mean that our contemporary society is so wired towards material achievements, possessions, monetary success, that there seems to be very little time left to think about some imaginary, yet possible benevolent spirits who might care for our well being and do their best to protect us. The usual representation of an angel is that of a being with a sweet face, wings and a flowing white robe. Well, people have always felt the need to give a sort of human aspect to whoever is not "human", while trying to see them with their imagination, in order to  better relate to them. This is what films makers and writers do when they represent or describe aliens (in the majority of cases). So we also have images of angels... and demons. They are very clear in our minds, with their specific attributes. An ugly demon is the symbol of evil, a beautiful angel is the symbol of good. Does this have a meaning in your life? Are you affected by believing in them, if you do? Or don't you care at all to even think about it? It might have happened that, once or twice, you did something wrong without really wanting it, you felt like compelled to behave in that way. Or you found yourself in a bad situation with no apparent choice on your part. Another time you might have felt brought to do some involuntary good deed, or you were miraculously saved from imminent danger. We say that everything happens as a consequence of our decisions, but a little spiritual push here and there might be not totally impossible (either from the "inside" or the "outside"). Who knows?

Too Many Contradictions

My personal philosophy of life leads me towards not being either pro or against anything. I try to be as neutral  in judging customs as Switzerland is in politics. But my neutrality does not prevent me from asking myself questions about some new strange concepts in regard to how to behave, how to talk, even how you should name people and things. I don't intend to go into details, but I find it rather strange that people who do a certain job should have their qualification changed in order to make it seem more dignified (as if not all honest jobs were dignified!). Names of ethnicities have been changed as if mentioning the areas of provenance were offensive. A simple gesture that shows affection is considered dangerous. On the other hand, in the name of "freedom of expression", people can offend other people (see some acclaimed comedians), can make fun of them, openly despise or libel them without  ever being reprimanded. I feel that nowadays we are living in a pit of contradictions. On one side you have the ultra traditional (kind of fundamentalists), who see wrong-doing in almost anything (Maybe they should learn to be a little more tolerant). On the other side, we have those who preach and demand extreme freedom, who want to be allowed to do and say whatever they want, forgetting other people's right to be respected and accepted as they are. I remember a definition of freedom I read when I was still in school: "Freedom means to be able to do whatever we want without infringing on the rights of others." I can't help noticing that - meanwhile - a lot of water has flown under the bridges.....

Care For A Fake Life?

A physicist I like a lot is professor Michiu Kaku. In a recent lecture he speaks about wearing the Internet, as he jokingly (but not so much) puts it. He explains that in the near future we'll wear "Internet contact lenses" and so, with a simple blink, we'll be able to create a completely virtual reality around us. Eventually even the sense of touch will be perfectly simulated for us to feel what we are imagining to touch. Totally interesting, mind-blowing...Wow! As usual, the more rational part of my mind immediately makes me to wonder: WHY? Why do we need to have a virtual reality? Why do scientists want to create it? "Pro bono publico" (For the public good), as the Romans would say? I don't think so! Spending tons of money for research, experiments, tests? And, once we can blink and believe that we are hiking on the Himalayas, then what? Okay, you may say that you will have a wonderful experience, otherwise impossible. I accept that. But then, what will you do with your real life? Do you think that once you can choose to live in a perfect, fictitious world, you'll willingly go back to and stay in your daily routine... work, house, worry about money, fights in the family etc.? If you have seen the movie "Surrogates" you have an idea of what I am talking about. A scary future indeed, where human beings will be less and less who they are and, instead of trying to improve themselves, they will just wear a cap or lenses and live a fake life in a fake world. My favorite author, Anthony de Mello,SJ, spoke of  "a paper life in a paper world" more than thirty years ago. Prophecy?

Are Memories Important?

I remember a story where a man, in a futuristic world, in order to survive, little by little sold his most cherished memories to people who wanted to experience them, with the relevant feelings they produced. In this way he lost track of his birthdays, of his first love, of his graduation etc... As the process was irreversible, he ended up buying someone else's memories in order to have a life once again, although not his own anymore. The result of this improbable story is that a human being cannot accept - willingly - a life without remembering his/her past. Does this mean that your past is an indispensable part of yourself? Absolutely. Although sometimes you might have wished to forget about an unpleasant or sorrowful even that happened some time ago, you wouldn't be the same person if you could and did. Besides, memories don't change, while everything else does. All memories are necessary to make your life complete, they are the mental representations of what you did, of the way you lived, of all that brought you to be who you are right now. Therefore memories are the awareness of your past experiences which, if you are willing to, can be your best companions, your best teachers. Without being obsessed with them, they can suggest to you how to avoid repeating a mistake or remind you of a good deed.  In a nutshell, they can sometime be of help when you need advice about a future behavior. 

Why?

I heard a soldier say: "If we always knew why we kill, life wouldn't be possible any more." All right, it was in a movie, but the impact of these words does not change. Human beings kill: in wars, in peace, in the family, for seemingly understandable reasons, for no apparent reasons, sometimes even for fun. It seems that killing, nowadays, is considered an activity as any other, although not particularly appreciated. Maybe it was the same in the past. It seems so. I can't help wondering WHY. Why is there this... - I really don't know how to define it....- need, desire, acceptance, justification of such an action? Taking the life from a fellow human being can sometimes seem "justified" but, as the above mentioned soldier says, if people knew the real reasons, why they do it, they could not put up with the revelation. It would probably show something too difficult for them to accept about their real nature. No, I correct myself. It's not their real nature, because "nature" is never cruel for the fun of it. It would be an insight about what they have accepted to become, about what their conditioning has made of them. They would recognize that the life they are living and the actions they are committing are the consequence of an existence lived without awareness, an "unexamined  life", as Socrates used to say. He also added that such a life is not worth living at all. Too harsh a judgement?  It was his own. We are not here to condemn, only to observe and try to learn.

Material World

I start by saying that I am not biased against Madonna. Actually, I have been "living" with her music for quite some time, along with Duran Duran's and Michael Jackson's (when you have had teen age children in the late '80s you couldn't help, could you?). But now, with more time to think at my disposal, I enjoy re-visiting old stuff with a new perspective. In the eighties, "Material Girl" was just a song with a catchy tune, the video was funny, with its reincarnated Marilyn, so no wonder it was a great success. I actually never paid attention to the lyrics, I just remembered the music. Now that I've taken the time to pay attention, in my search for the ways in which life is affected and conditioned by outside circumstances, I realize the dangerous message that is clearly expressed in this song. It says: ...the boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right because we are living in a material world and I am a material girl. I know, I know, many would say that it's just a song and there are others saying the same and even worse. Nevertheless I am sadly becoming aware of how the world has changed even on the musical scene. Just a few decades ago you had lyrics that were mainly speaking of romantic love. Now, (for the little I know) they usually talk about - and portray in their videos - having sex, becoming rich and famous as quickly as possible, or cursing everybody and everything. Well, the world has really changed. Nothing to complain about, you say, because everything changes. Does change also mean progress? Progress meaning getting better?

Worry, A Useless Burden

Are you in the habit of worrying? About your job, about your state of affairs, about your partner being unfaithful, about a circumstance that might (but also might "not") materialize? About politics, about the international situation, about your neighbor's gossip, about the rent, about putting on a few pounds, even about the weather? Well, worrying in general is the most useless "activity" you might engage yourself in. Why? Because it doesn't change anything. On the contrary, it makes you feel worse because you are actually experiencing negative feelings, and therefore you end up suffering by your own choice. Besides, there is also the risk of attracting the circumstance you are afraid of. Haven't you heard about the so-called "law of attraction"? It seems that what you focus on might be encouraged to materialize in your world. Therefore... why take the risk? Why, instead, not try to relax, to envision a positive resolution? If there is something you can do to increase the chances of a good outcome, do it. If there isn't, just accept the situation and wait for what happens, continue doing your business and...enjoy a good movie, a tasty meal or a pleasant conversation with friends. Life can be much simpler, if you only decide to accept it the way it is. Don't forget that it's wiser to sit comfortably with a book (or whatever you like doing indoors) rather than curse the possible storm that  might prevent you from going for a walk. Only fools fight windmills! The sun may still come out! And you have wasted some of your time tormenting yourself uselessly.

An Interesting Atheist

One topic that has always interested me a great deal is Truth. Does a unique truth exist? Or is true only what each of us believes? The answer could be that "one" truth does exist but what is actually important and useful for each individual is what he/she believes in. Let's see an example. If you feel hot and go out in shorts and I feel the need to wear a sweater because I am cold, does it really matter what the temperature actually is? Someone may be convinced that 65 degrees Fahrenheit (or 20 Celsius) is summer while for me it could hardly indicate the beginning of spring. Who is right? Who is wrong? British scientist Richard Dawkins (certainly NOT the one in the photo) is a fervent atheist and believes that science cannot absolutely coexist with - not so much religion - but the existence of God. He has written several books and you can find a good number of clips from his speeches on Youtube, where he explains and defends his theory. Although a few points he presents may be acceptable, in general I feel sorry for him, and for all those who, like him, only rely on reason, who deny the existence of something else, a deeply rooted sort of intuition, and reduce human life to a simple result of evolution. By the way, when did evolution start? And, if it never started, can he prove it, as a scientist should do? But, in the end, if this is his truth, good for him and his followers. And if this is their final choice, let them live with it and enjoy it. Atheists, too, have the right to live their lives and face their after-life (either there is one or there isn't) the way they prefer.

The Power Of Feelings

Years ago an experiment was conducted in order to prove (or at least try to prove) the power of human feelings. Some seeds, out of the same packet, were planted in two rows by the same people, in the same soil, and were attended to in exactly the same way. But one row was blessed while the other was cursed. The plants in the first row blossomed, the others withered. The experiment was scientifically conducted and it deserves to be believed. So... what do you think? Are positive feelings capable of creating positive effects? Can negative "waves" give rise to unfavorable outcomes? If you are open minded enough, although a little skeptic, you cannot deny this possibility. You may be willing to remember when you, yourself, have been the cause of an altercation with someone else because of your tough or rude attitude. On the other hand, you have certainly experienced more than once how a little flexibility. a smile, a kind word, saying "I'm sorry" mellowed a difficult situation, healed a misunderstanding. If a flower can be affected by the vibration of love (and of its opposite), imagine what it can do to someone else's spirit (and to your own, too!). If you are prone to accept the proof that also water is changed by feelings (according to Dr.Masaru Emoto's world-famous experiments with water crystals) you should start paying more attention to the way you express your emotions.

Destroy Carthage!

Reading the news, some famous words often come to my mind."Carthago delenda est" (Carthage must be destroyed), the Roman statesman Cato the Elder is quoted to have said at the end of his speeches. Anyone who has a little knowledge of ancient history, will remember the great hate that existed between Rome and Carthage, which caused the Punic wars till the complete destruction of the African city. It was such a hate that could only be extinguished through the utter annihilation of the enemy. Here I am, once again, pondering about the human condition which, under certain circumstances, brings intelligent beings to abhor other beings to such an extent that only the total crushing of one or the other can put an end to the situation. As I am a firm believer in Positive Thinking, I therefore presume true the intimate goodness of human nature. But I can't deny that certain features of  mankind include desire for power which, left uncontrolled and brought to the extreme, is the ultimate cause of all problems that plague, and have always plagued, this world of ours. Craving for supremacy over another (person, possessions, entire countries) is the root of wars, of disputes, of fights, of quarrels. Wherever an understanding, a compromise cannot be found, there is hunger for control, for domination. Think about this the next time that you, too, feel the need to prove yourself right at all costs, or have the desire to see your opponent humbled. Maybe you don't want to see him or her destroyed like Carthage, but the starting feeling might be the same! Be careful, and don't forget that feelings, like thoughts, can be changed (before it's too late).

Life Is Good (Or Is It?)

During a Positive Thinking workshop a woman kept complaining about her husband. The leader suddenly asked her: "What would you do if your husband died?" The woman seemed to immediately slide out of her negative world. She felt compelled to realize that, in spite of her partner's flaws (no one is perfect, is one?) he was a person worth living with, he was a good, caring companion. When you complain about your life, or parts of it, you are making the same mistake. Instead of appreciating all the good that is going on there, you tend to focus mainly on the normal disappointments of every day life. I have written more than once on this topic because it is hugely important and has a great impact on the quality of your life. Therefore I keep using the adjective "normal" with the word disappointment to encourage you to start noticing and appreciating all the positive stuff that actually exists in your life. If you take the time, you'll realize that the plus outweighs the minus. If you are reading this, for example, it means that you have eyes to see and a mind to understand. Now start counting all the other assets you have been blessed with. One... Two... Three... etc. (You are kindly requested to fill in the blanks till completion.) Make it a true Thanksgiving.

Food, Food, Food!

As so much it is said (and complained) about obesity, I decided to conduct a little research on the present life style and its being conditioned by the media in the specific field of FOOD! I've taken the time to notice, in particular, how many culinary programs and food advertising are broadcast on television. Actually, I didn't care to count them. I only know that they are galore, at all times of the day. And here I am wondering: in a society' where thin seems to be considered equal to beautiful (or at least this is what they are trying to convince us of), where slimming programs, tablets, creams, diets and all kinds of relevant advertising are promoted, why this flood of recipes... sweet, savory, spicy, sour... meat, fish, cakes... Italian, Mexican, Japanese...fried, grilled, baked, broiled...? You might get the impression that till now people didn't know what to eat and how to cook.  While on one hand "they" promote and encourage eating, on the other  hand they keep advertising about the necessity of losing weight. Do I see a contradiction here or is my understanding deceiving me? What's going on? Is this only a matter of business, of money? In spite of the numberless statements that all the ingredients used are organic, natural, healthy (both in these programs and in fast food commercials) - as if "they" really cared - yes, it is just a matter of money, of audience, of selling. Strange that no one seems to notice. If I happened to mention my puzzlement on the matter, I have been given strange looks, obviously meaning: "What is she talking about?". So people continue to happily enjoy huge meals and then spend a fortune trying to get rid of what they  have previously ingested!

Live Your Life Again?

Would you like to go back in time and start living your life all over again, being able to make different choices? If you say you would, you are taking a big chance. Are you sure your life would be better, had you lived it in a different way? Maybe it would but, most probably, it wouldn't. Why? For a very simple reason. You chose the path you did because  the small voice of intuition, inside of you, made you follow that direction. In fact, in so doing, you faced situations that were to teach you the lessons you needed to learn. You needed to learn such lessons in order to discover your "true" self, to acquire the awareness of who you really are and  to become the best you can be: the wonderful human being that you were meant to be since your birth. I believe that all the challenges we face on our chosen path are helpful tools, are the tools we need for our personal progress. Had you made different choices you might have had an apparently wealthier or more successful life, maybe with less responsibilities and practical worries but...who knows? You might have created bigger problems that might have made you desire you had chosen otherwise (most probably what you actually chose!).

Commitment, Yes Or No?

One the things that strike me the most is the lack of commitment in so many people. I immediately say that, in these reflections of mine, I am not planning to judge anybody or, even worse, criticize or condemn. I repeat for the ...th time that each human being has the right to be who they want to be, make their own choices and, of course, live with their consequences. But lack of commitment is something that I have a hard time understanding. Let's say that you are interested in learning Italian, or drawing, or cooking. You sign up for a class, you attend a couple of lessons and then.... you quit. Why? If we admit that the instructor is competent and the topics are up to your expectations, why do you quit? Another scenario: you say you like carpentry, so you decide you really need and want to build a bookcase. You start, all full of enthusiasm, but you don't complete the job. Or you start gardening, painting, writing the short story you've always thought about, going on a serious diet, then you stop haft way. Although these are not major problems and your life will not be jeopardized by your defection, nevertheless this recurring behavior may say something about your character. It may show that you are not consistent, that you are not reliable, that your decisions and your word cannot be totally trusted. It may also mean that you actually don't know what you want from life. So, how come that afterwards, when you are not satisfied with what you have and what you are, you complain, as if it were somebody else's fault?

P.S. The picture I chose is not intended to be specifically suggestive!!!

What Not To Hear

I changed my outlook on how to react to what people say  after reading one of A.de Mello's  little stories, where he talks about a Zen monk whose answer, both when he was falsely accused and when he was asked for forgiveness by his (repented) accusers, was: "Fine!". A wonderful lesson in wisdom, isn't it? If someone criticizes you, you can have two different reactions. You may refuse the criticism all together, believing that you are beyond any negative judgement (But... are you really? Is anybody?) or you can take the "offensive" words into consideration. Here, too, there are two possibilities: if you honestly believe that what was said about you is not true, just ignore it and walk away. Don't be bothered by what you know to be false. On the other hand (and here you need a great amount of open-mindedness) the criticism you received might be well deserved. In this case, it would be wise for you to ponder on what you didn't like to hear and try to understand it. When you understand it, you can learn from it and not repeat the same mistake. Someone said you are too tough in dealing with your co-workers? Were you accused of manipulating a certain situation? She said you are too old (or fat) to wear that kind of dress? He said you are talking too much about your achievements? You are criticized as stuck-up? as too humble? as too needy for recognition? etc. Each human being has been talked about, one time or another. If you are wise, you learn how to deal with such nuisance. If you are not, you will keep on being bothered... forever. People love to talk about others. Don't you, too (honestly)?

Happily Positive, Unhappily Negative

Are you a positive person? You should be happy for yourself.

Are you a negative person? You should feel sorry for yourself.

Okay, I am not here to judge, to pontificate  or preach about who you are. You are who you are, and that's a wonderful thing, indeed. What I am trying to say is that your attitude towards yourself, people and life in general determines the way you feel which, consequently, also determines the way you portray yourself and the way people see you. You don't care about how people see you? Well, you should, because the way they judge you could be a good indication of your most intimate state of being. I often say that what you think about yourself is more important than what others think about you, but this doesn't mean that others' opinion is worthless. On the contrary, in certain  cases it can be a useful means to understand a little more about yourself, especially when you tend to  move through life "blindfolded", totally unaware of what's actually going on in the deepest part of your being. A positive attitude makes you feel good about yourself and the world, it fills you with the expectation of good things. A negative attitude deprives you of most of the joy that can be experienced in life and prepares you to face only unpleasant circumstances. Difficult times happen to everybody, therefore it's only fair that they occur to you as well. But the attitude you face them with determines your mood, day by day, minute by minute. In a nutshell, attitude determines the way you live your life.

Amazement

"He lived his whole life with the desire to amaze and the desire to be amazed." This is what an Italian singer said of a colleague recently deceased. I find these words wonderful, the most desirable description of a life well lived. Don't you think that a life well lived is what each human being should try to accomplish? I do. I also believe that it is not enough to carry on through our existence by just living as well as we can. I believe we should try to go on and walk the extra mile, try to overcome what we believe our limits to be. Have you ever desired to amaze, i.e. to do something that might interest or surprise others, something that might leave a trace, that might be particularly beautiful, or useful, or simply deserving to be remembered? And wouldn't you like to experience amazement yourself, feel the innocent joy of a child in front of something new, different, exciting? Enthusiasm is one of the most important keys to happiness. It would certainly be rewarding if each of us,  while living in this  world, could create in ourselves an attitude of unyielding zest for life, of wonder, of desire to make the best effort to achieve excellence, to be open to give and to receive. 

P.S. Previous posting problems, solved at last! Now you can post your comments directly on the blog.
       Thanks to my dear readers for gifting me with their useful insights. :o)

Spiritual Botox

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? You see yourself. You see your face, your hair, your features, possibly your body. So what? Seeing yourself in the mirror is a normal action that you perform every day when you shave or when you apply your make up. You don't think twice about what you see. You are used to your appearance and you don't identify the changes that take place regularly and consistently. You realize that you have changed only when you see some old pictures of yourself, or when you discover a new line (wrinkle? what an ugly word!) on your skin. But you don't perceive the actual transformation while it is happening. It's like looking at the hands of a clock. You know that they are moving, you see that they have shifted, but you are unable to discern the instant they move. Where does this apparently idle reasoning bring us? Simply to the consciousness that, either you are aware or you are not, you change, and keep on changing. There is no way to stop the transformation, as there is no way to stop time. Why is this awareness important? It is important not so much as to your physical appearance (for which you have miracle creams and Botox). But it is extremely important for your inner self, for your mental, psychological and spiritual state. While time is passing, taking you along, your moving through life should become a series of conscious steps towards your ultimate goal. Once you re-create your life following the right path, you can face the finish line with serenity and joyous expectation.

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Full Moon

Last night there was the most wonderful full moon. I was coming home and, in spite of the chilly weather, I took the time to look at it and wonder. When I see such a lovely sight, that could also be considered as insignificant, utterly normal, of no consequence, I always fall into a kind if awe. Although a full moon is actually no big deal, for me it is always a source of amazement, I can't help feeling a sort of reverence for such a spectacular sight we are blessed with every month. A famous Italian poet asked "O moon, what are you doing up there in the sky? Tell me..." And a similarly awe inspiring Italian song says "Look at this moon, just look..." I feel sweetly drowned in such a beauty, in the mystery of what the Universe is, which we know so little about. I am aware that most people don't find such topics important because they are not materially useful. Yes, of course. If something cannot be used for practical purposes, it is not worth exploring. But I, unforgivable dreamer, can't help looking up at the sky, at the moon, at the stars, and wish I could have a glimpse of the" beyond", I wish I could be able to guess what all this really means, what all this actually IS. I long to understand what my place, your place, our place is in this eternal, infinite something that exists, but which many human beings are unaware of and -  most sadly - are uninterested in. Once again, everyone is free to choose and decide what really matters. So be it.

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Disappointment Happens (Either You Like It Or Not)

Let's talk a bit about disappointment. Who has never been disappointed, raise your hand. No hands up? For sure!! Disappointment is one of the great mysteries of life. "How come?", you say, "I have done everything for him (or her, or them) and I get no acknowledgment, not even a 'thank you'!" Another scenario: "I can't believe this, I had been assured I would get the promotion, because I am better that A.B. and now he/she gets promoted." And even: "Oh no! I followed the recipe instructions to the letter and the cake didn't rise!" Big and little problems of everyday life that make you feel cheated, that make you feel you didn't get what you deserved, what you were entitled to. But... you know what? (And here comes the bad news!) You are entitled to nothing. The problem arises when you expect others to be they way you expected them to be. "Why she never reciprocates my compliments? I am always so kind to her!". Or: "Why he didn't ask for my advice before buying his  new car? Am I  or am I not his best friend?". Well, others are the way they are. If you feel like paying a compliment, go ahead and do it, but don't expect anything back. Your friend chooses his new car without your advice? Fine. It's his right. He doesn't owe you anything and you should not nurse expectations towards him or anybody/anything else. So, here is the Big Truth! Do not expect anything. Do not create a scenario in your mind about how people should behave and things should happen. You have no power over them You have power only over yourself, i.e. over you reaction to what happens. Are you ready to accept it? 

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Win The Race!

Talking about the adepts of a dangerous reviving political cult, someone said: "They are true believers!". Can this be worrisome? It certainly can, should this cult grow consistently. But it's not this that interests me right now.  What I find intriguing are those words, "They are true believers". They make me ponder once again about the strength of belief, about the incredible power hidden at its core. You, too, might say that you are a believer, but is it really true? What do you believe in? How do you believe? Do you think that it's enough to "want" something to actually obtain it? As a matter of fact, this is true, but will is not enough. You need to work towards the attainment of your goal and, along with it, you must have faith in your success, a trust that goes beyond doubts, uncertainties, restrictions or conditions. In order to create the life you wish for, you need to never give up believing that - because you deserve it - you will obtain it. But you have to keep on moving towards your goal, without never giving up. Are you ready to do this? If you are, expect miracles to happen.

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An Interesting Pyramid

                                                          

5.                                                           Self- actualization

4.                                        E      s     t      e     e      m

3.                                     L o v e   a n d   B e l o n g i n g

2.                               F  e  e  l  i  n  g  s    o f    S  e  c  u  r  i  t  y

1.                        P   h   y   s   i   o   l   o   g   i   c   a   l       N  e  e  d  s

Quite engaging, the Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs - on which some do not agree, though.

Let's see what the pyramid means and how each of us feels about it - especially the order of the tiers.

1. Base needs such as eating, drinking, sleeping etc., without which you won't survive

2. Safety needs such as a safe environment, good social and financial status

3. Interpersonal relationships

4. Need to be confident in one's self

5. Understanding one's own full potential and creativity

Do you feel that your "needs" follow the same criterion?


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Is A Fly Really Useless?

Do you believe that nothing happens that is not necessary? This intriguing question reminds me of a little joke that says: "God created nothing useless, but with flies he almost did". Is this totally true? Probably not. Although most people don't like flies because they find them dirty, annoying, bothersome, what about a frog? As not everything was created to serve human beings, it's possible that even the most unpleasant creatures have their perfect place in nature, they also may have a usefulness that goes beyond people's pleasure. Going back to situations that might appear unnecessary, they hardly are. If you find yourself in a particular circumstance, it means that you had to be there, otherwise you wouldn't have made the choice that led you in that spot at that moment. Although you might not like it or believe this not to be true, if you take the time to analyze it, no matter how insignificant the situation might seem, you will realize that, whatever happens to you, whomever you meet or deal with, wherever you find yourself, gives a particular flavor, a distinct nuance to your life. Without it your life wouldn't have been the same, no matter how inconsequential that event might have been. Also Mona Lisa would still be Mona Lisa had Leonardo decided to paint a different shade in a tiny spot. But she wouldn't have been the same. Does it really matter? Who knows! But some scientists say that a butterfly flapping its wings in Mexico might cause a hurricane in Australia!

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Experts' Advice

The wise old Romans used to say "In medio stat virtus". Some translate the word virtus as courage or manliness, which is correct (from the Latin vir, man) but I believe that in this case a second definition is more suitable, i.e. "goodness or merit". So, this famous saying can be translated as Goodness is found in the middle. Meaning? Easy: exaggeration is always wrong! I had an additional proof of this firm belief of mine yesterday, while reading an article about  doctors changing their point of view on the usefulness of drinking eight glasses of water a day. I have never accepted this advice for three simple reasons. 1. I simply cannot drink when I am not thirsty. 2. According to reason, we intake plenty of water through other sources (fruit, vegetables, juices etc.) 3. If I drank that amount of liquid I would spend half of my time in and out of the restroom. As simple logic is usually my faithful guide, this has been my response to the "8 glasses of water a day" celebrated rule. So, yesterday I happen to read an article where doctors discard this 1945 rule and decide that we intake enough water through plenty of other sources in our daily meals. Wow! I am no doctor, but I have always thought the same thing. Can this be an indication about the wisdom of blindly following the experts' advice?
P.S.
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viverbene@hotmail.com

Acting & Living

During an interview, an actor has recently said: "When you play in a movie, you understand something that you didn't understand before about life". I like this statement. It makes me think of how little we know about people who are different from us. We don't know them, we don't understand them, we feel totally detached from them, as if we lived on a different planet. Yes, we deal with them, we work and live with them, but we are on a separate level, aren't we? Aren't you? But an actor (or actress), while playing his role, he plunges himself into the character, he becomes one with him and, if he is really a good actor, he can totally identify with his feelings and is able to portray them in a convincing way. That's why a skilled actor can make you laugh or cry, can make you feel love or hate, compassion or even empathy towards someone you actually do not have anything in common with. While playing, the actor is able to understand the deepest side of someone else's being because he is making an effort of  identification. Could you try to do the same while dealing with the people in your life? Your relationships will greatly improve.

P.S. The actor who stated the above was not Christopher Plummer. But I love him and, as he was such an excellent, convincing "Captain", I couldn't help choosing his photo!!!

Bliss Or Gloom?

Have you ever experienced a sudden burst of happiness without apparent reason? I am sure you have. All at once you feel contented, you just "know" that everything is fine, that all is going the way it should. You are aware that this feeling comes out of the blue and it may last just an instant. Nevertheless it is highly meaningful, if you briefly ponder upon it. If this sudden happiness blooms out of your inner self, like a magic flower, it can only mean that you have the capacity to be happy, it means that the most wonderful feelings are innate inside of you and they can blossom at any time, if you only allow them, if you maintain the right disposition. Isn't this good news? Isn't it reassuring to know that your spirit is naturally wired towards cheerfulness, bliss and optimism, that there is a place in you that has the power to make you experience such uplifting sensations? On the other hand, when you tend to accept gloomy thoughts coming from outside of you, you are making a different (wrong?) choice. It's up to you to decide.