New Computer, New Life!

A cute magnet says, " New shoes, new life". True! But right now I need to change it into "New computer, new life". How come? Well, my laptop suddenly crashed and ALL was lost (not often did I back up my stuff, sigh). Upset? A little. Positive lesson? Every now and then we need to start kind of ANEW. Done with the old, here we go with the new... So, here I am in front of my empty NEW desktop, ready to "re-create" what was lost, but in a new way: my articles, my classes, my reflections evidently needed to be "dusted up" somehow and this I wll do - with a smile!

To wait or not to wait

 The Latin poet Ovid said that everything takes place gradually and at the right time. Don’t YOU say it and affirm that you believe it? But how patiently do you wait for the results you are hoping to? Not always are you willing to work longer or harder to achieve your goal, do you accept to wait till tomorrow for what you believe you should get today. You prefer to ride your car rather than walk because it’s swifter. You eat fast food because you are served more quickly. Your life seems directed by speed and  “increased” efficiency, because you can do more things in a shorter time. But what for? WHAT FOR? Does your life become happier, more fulfilling? Or does it? Do you ever truly relax? The verb “to wait” is becoming obsolete, isn’t it? Rather sad, though!

A Fellini movie

        

Yesterday I felt I was in a Fellini movie. Who remembers “8 ½” and the mesmerizing  final ring-around-the-rosey with all those people being there, moving together, with a definite place in time and space, yet kind of alien to each other, in spite of the apparent connectedness? I was taking part in a Peace Vigil where it’s usually just our group. We hold signs about peace, about stoppong the war, about creating peaceful jobs. But yesterday a whole lot of other people were there, sprouted out from nowhere. Beside the "ladies in black", there were those holding signs about Jesus, others about repenting and finding a way to get to Heaven, along with additional ones supporting Israel. Someone else, wrapped up in a black and white  Middle-Eastern headcover (shemagh), was waving the Palestinian flag. I heard a little girl holding a Jesus sign, next to her Israel-supporting father, say to  the Palestinian chap : “You will be forgiven”. Then she told “me” that I was blessed. I could only manage to answer, “Thanks, you too”. The whole scene seemed totally surreal. I haven’t gotten over it yet.

Beliefs

A Tweet by Norway's gunman loosely cited English philosopher John Stuart Mill: 
"One person with a belief is equal to the force of 100,000 who have only interests."
A strong belief can turn a person into a great hero or a mass murderer.

“Precious” reputation

Abraham Lincoln said  that character is like a tree and reputation is like its shadow. While the shadow is what people believe to be true, the tree is the only reality. How much importance do YOU give to your reputation, i.e. what you believe that others think about you? Are you convinced that what others think is so important that you need to change some of your behavor in order not to be criticized, in order to fit in? Actually, what “the others” think about you has nothing to do with who you really are. Your “essence” is totally independent from outside judgement or criticism. Could you ever be convinced of this truth? And become FREE?

A simple quote

A wise Jewish quote:

IF I  AM  NOT  FOR  MYSELF,  WHO  WILL  BE  FOR  ME?

IF  I  AM  ONLY  FOR  MYSELF,  WHAT  GOOD  AM  I?

IF  NOT  NOW,  WHEN?

If pondered upon and, most of all, if applied in your life, these words would certainly change your (and everybody else's) life.

Fear as an investment

 If you decide to put your money in the bank, you do it in order to get a good interest. If you buy a house in order to rent it, you intend to use the rental you get for your own benefit. If you purchase jewels or paintings, you are sure that your money is well invested because it is a capital that will certainly increase in time. How can fear become a kind of investment, a source of gain for you? Excessive jealousy is said to be generated by the fear of losing the person you want only for yourself. You invest your fear of being abandoned through jealousy, hoping to get benefit in return. A man who feels he is not appreciated by his family might "employ" his fear in the form of a recurring disease in order to get constant attention. A woman who believes she is not loved enough will probably try to protect herself against this lack of love by building rolls of fat around her body. What kind of spiritual investment have you made for yourself? Have you invested in negative thoughts, resentment, blame, guilt, erroneously hoping to obtain positive results in exchange, or  expecting to build some psychological barriers against the blows of bad luck? Would it not be better to invest in trust in the future and in your capabilities, in availability towards others, in open mindedness, in determination to pursue your goals?

“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

                                                        (Carl Jung)

A word of wisdom

Anthony de Mello, S.J. (my mentor and favorite author) wrote:

The disciple asked for a word of wisdom.

Said the Master: "Go sit in your cell. It will teach you wisdom."

"But I have no cell. I am not a monk"

"Of course you have a cell. Look within."

Music and Bliss

Yesterday I attended a Bluegrass concert performed by a string sextet who displayed the motto: “Music really does make the world a better place.” I liked the music and I loved the motto. Is it possible that music  makes the world a better place? And if it is so, how does it happen? Think for a moment about the way YOU feel while listening to a piece you enjoy. You experience excitement, relaxation, tenderness, joy, a sense of communion. Your spirit is happy, at peace, your whole self is in the “now”, absorbing every single note and making it your own. If you, I, and everybody else, could feel this kind of “blissful presence” most of the time, the world could really be a better (= happier) place indeed!

Invictus

The way you see yourself is essential. You might consider yourself as a successful or a mediocre person, as a winner or as a loser. And thus will you actually be, and continue to be all your life, unless you change your perspective. Other people won’t be able to influence your beliefs, in spite of appearences. YOU are the only one who can determine WHO you are, how you look, even how you feel. Although you are in charge, you are convinced that the outside world is the cause of your feelings. Remember the famous quote from W.E. Henley’s poem “Invictus” (= never defeated)?

                                                          I am the master of my fate

                                                          I am the captain of my soul

Believing (or NOT believing) this will determine how you live your life.

Straight or winding?

This week-end there is a lovely Lake Fair downtown. Due to this event, buses are not allowed to circulate along the lake, so they have to make a huge detour in order to reach their regular stops and final destination. This makes me think, once again, about how people sometimes (or maybe “usually”?) manage their lives. What about you? Could it be that you choose not to follow the logical path (does “logic” exist, anyway?) that goes straight ahead, and decide instead to take two steps forward and one step back, or to move sideways, or even to leave the path you are on to follow a different one… In the end, you will most probably reach your destination anyway, but with much more effort. Any chance to make it easier? Or would you find it too dull, as you prefer the challenge (although needless)?

Fear kills enthusiasm

 When you get ready to start something new, when you want to try what we never tried before, fear joins enthusiasm. You are willing to make the first step, such as start a new career, get married, write a book or move to another town, but there is usually something holding you back. It is fear of giving up what you know or what you have, in order to engage in an enterprise whose success is not guaranteed. If you decide to make a major change in your life, to put your past behind you because it did not make you happy, the moment you start packing up for your "journey", you begin having doubts.   What is awaiting me? Will I make it? What if I cannot find a job?   What if I do not like my new position? What if… there are so many ifs, so many doubts, so many fears! Fear of having to give up something, even if it is for a greater good; fear of having to struggle too much to find the new path to success. And yet it would be enough to think: If I am truly convinced of the step I am about  to make, if I carefully weighed the pros and the cons of what I intend to do, if I do not act recklessly, why worry?  In spite of the uncertainty that tries to weaken your trust, there is a deep “knowing” that all is going to be all right. It is an intimate, indescribable feeling, whispering: Go ahead, you can do it!

It’s a rope, not a snake!

If you dread that an unpleasant or dangerous event might take place, it comes natural to you to share your fears with someone, because you hope to find understanding and comfort. You expect them to tell you the words of courage you need to destroy the ghost of fear. The best way to overcome any kind of fear is to convince yourself that there is nothing to fear. Do you have “Fear of the dark”? (Remember the iconic Iron Maiden song?) Think that darkness is simply a temporary absence of light, which does not alter the surrounding reality at all, and you’ll realize that fear has no reason to be. A rope touching your foot ceases to appear as a dangerous snake the moment we dare to just look at it. The majority of your fears are totally groundless, still you want to secure yourself against events that will most probably never happen. Try instead to face whatever you are afraid of with rationality. Your spirit is full of resources that make you capable of facing any circumstance. And be certain that, in case of real need, you shall know what to do. It is not worth worrying about something that seems dreadful only because your fear makes it credible.

Beware!

Beware of those who try to make you feel guilty.

It’s one of the strongest means of control.

It’s a chain that – once you accept it

to be tied around your neck –

will deprive you of both freedom and peace.

Attention, please!

 Life is made of a series of actions. From morning to night, in every moment, you DO something. You get up, get dressed, go to the office or to school, do the housework, go shopping… Even when you stop to rest, you do not simply sit or lie down, relaxing body and mind for a little while: you watch TV, read the newspaper, play with the computer, scold the children, chat or text or ping… Actions, always actions. How much attention do you give them, though? When you brush your teeth or wash your hands, you keep your mind busy with something else. In so doing, you acquire a tendency to do almost anything without being really aware. Even when you give it a thought, it is a quick one, with no real commitment: you are too busy, you have no time to “waste”, you have to run! That is why quite often you do not savour your food, you do not actually “hear” the music you are listening to, you absorb only half of what you are reading. Maybe you do what you are supposed to do and what others expect from you. But what is “your” sincere, honest judgement about your performance? Is there a true concern behind your actions? Is there awareness of the importance of any act, thought and word that make up your life?

Empathy

Could you think of others a little more – not only of yourself? Imagine you are “walking in their shoes”, try to understand their problems as if they were your own. In so doing, you can perceive the reasons behind their attitudes and behaviors.You can thus become more available to listen and to share, less critical, less prone to be offended or grumble at any tiny provocation. You can change for the better, when you “understand”!

To learn to really understand others you can start by examining yourself. Your first question might be: “How does what I am going to do now make me feel? At ease, or not?” Your inner self will answer and you shall know. Do not expect to hear what you “want” to hear. Most of all, you need honesty and open mindedness. If you trick yourself, who will be hurt in the end?

Do Not Disturb!

 “I” is the word you use to affirm yourself in society, through which you want to show your worth, importance, power.The “ego” (Latin word that literally means “I”, used to indicate one’s personality) always tries to avoid problems, sorrows, nuisances, any unpleasant feeling or sensation. If, for example, you wish to relax, read a book or listen to music and somebody starts making noise, your “ego”  automatically reacts in  a negative way. You feel disturbed in your attempt to concentrate and your mind makes you believe that you are being deprived of your right to be left alone. You interpret that noise as an attempt to destroy your freedom of choice. Your true self might try to make you realize that a noise is just a noise, that there is surely a good reason behind it, and that it isn’t really a big deal. But your “ego” shouts that no one has the right to disturb you. You can always find a “good” reason to justify your negative reaction to any stimulus! As long as your relations with others follow the rule “Do not disturb!”, you shall always be, and remain, selfish. Your “ego” will be top priority, overshadowing any deeper, more realistic consideration.

Moving to a new city

It is your attitute (first mental, then material) toward others that creates either good or bad relationships, love or hate, peace or war. An old tale says that a man, wishing to move to another city, inquired about character and moods of its inhabitants. “In the place I am coming from”, he explained, “all people are bad, unpleasant and selfish”. They answered him: “ Well, we are afraid this city is not suitable for you. People here are exactly the same”. Another traveller came by and asked the same question. He said: “The place I come from is lovely. People are good, pleasant, generous". And this is the answer he got: “You are most welcome. People here are exactly the same”. Want to give it a thought?

Leave old “crutches” behind

                 

 The foundation of knowledge that you learned  is essential to get you started on your “journey”.It is the equipment you need, but it can only be of help in carrying out your project, it cannot execute it for you. Once you are well equipped with boots, ropes and nails, you are ready to start climbing a high mountain. But the actual climbing is your own task, no one can do it for you. Both knowledge and material means give you trust in your capabilities. Therefore, you need  not be afraid, and forget about old “crutches” you used to lean on. Do not accept mediocrity! As long as you do not dare to go ahead and beyond your perceived limitations, you will never know what you are capable of achieving. Somebody wisely said: “It is better to do something and fail than do nothing and do it well”. Even if you make a mistake, it does not really matter. Each lesson you learn, each step you take – no matter how small – are useful bricks in the construction of your destiny. Just try to understand the cause of your mistake – what you did wrong and why – and do your best to correct your behaviour, or attitude, or belief. That is ALL you need to do.

May “the worst” be best?

 I thought it to be a natural desire – common to all –  to show the world our best “self”, including our physical appearance. Now I am not too sure. I see  people, young but non only, who seem to be voluntarily trying to “display” themselves at their worst. Unkempt hair, torn jeans, slipping-down pants, untidy looks, underwear showing, ugly T-shirts, rolls of flesh in sight here and there... I wonder: Is this the meaning of being modern, is it a statement of rebellion, of freedom? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Some wear clothes that are either too tight or too loose, either too short or too long. There seems to be (at least to me, sorry if I sound judgmental!) a lot of “too” much  or “too” little. On second thought, though, too much for whom? If THEY believe it’s okay, it certainly is – “for them”. Didn’t WE (actually “I”) recently say that ONE truth, equal for all, does not exist?

Awareness = Knowing

Knowing the reason behind any action is of the utmost importance. Getting married, having a child, choosing a course of study, a job, even a friend… These are all important decisions that you make in your life.   But your existence is not made only of important decisions. Every little choice that you make  during the day, like what to cook for dinner or where to go for a walk, has a place in the planning of your life. Whatever you do, try to be aware of it, and endeavor to do it to your best. Einstein once said: “When I tie my shoe-laces I put all my attention (=awareness) in what I am doing”. In that moment  the great scientist was not thinking of mathematical formulae; all his attention was concentrated in tying his shoes, as he wanted to tie them well. What about you? Can you try to acquire a better awareness of every action (what you do), of its motivation (why you do it), and its performance (how you do it)? If you succeed in achieving this kind of consciousness, your daily life will become richer and more fulfilling. You will be “in the present”, in the NOW, rather than “somewhere else”.

4th of July Magic

 While participating in a wonderful 4^th of July celebration at my friend H.G.’s waterfront place, enjoying the weather, the flowers, an uplifting conversation and listening to the splendid music offered by our gifted hostess and some of the guests, the meaning of “pure enjoyment”, i.e. “just being there and enjoy”, came to my mind. How often is your spirit totally relaxed? Aren’t you more often than not, “worried”?  Looking for more success, endeavoring to be better than others, trying to prove your point no matter what? During the peaceful conversation at the party I wondered how little  prepared people usually are to accept opinions that do not comply with theirs because, unconsciously, they consider them dangerous for their own individuality. In reality, no one needs to “prevail” over another. Each human being has a specific place in the great pattern of the universe: a place that is his own, that will never be taken by anybody else. So…why worry and strife to prove your worthiness?

Carpets and Shoes

Once upon a time lived a king who was afraid of hurting his feet, while walking barefoot. That is why he decided to have all the roads in his kingdom  carpeted! (Fortunately, his wise counselor convinced him to wear shoes instead!).The story is funny and you may laugh about the king’s idea, without realizing that it is exactly what “you” do when you expect the surrounding reality to change in order to please you. And when things do not go the way you wish, you are immediately ready to blame others.“Why did I not wake up on time? Surely the alarm clock did not ring!”,“Why is my friend sulking? I cannot stand moody people!”, “What is that noise out there? How bothersome!”. Many are the occasions you face in the course of the day that make you complain about people, things, circumstances. Ask yourself how often you are intolerant. If the alarm clock did not ring, most probably “you” forgot to wind it, or maybe the battery is used up. If someone looks upset, they must have their own good reasons. But deep inside you still feel, although you don’t want to admit it, that the world should move according to your wishes, that other people should behave the way you like or you need for your own pleasure or benefit.

"Education" versus discernment

Is education (any kind!) always aimed towards higher goals? If some notions are instilled into you in order to condition your mind, to form a cultural reservoir to regularly draw from, they become a screen which separates you from your actual learning capability. You are not to be taught that "this IS so and so and it must be done this way". On the contrary, you should be told  that "this is the base you need to build your own ideas upon". You are able to cut the links that tightly tie you to conditionings, habits and pre-conceived ideas. You can choose what is right for you, what can be useful in building YOUR OWN way of life. Each philosophical, political, social, religious system sets forth very valuable ideas, which can certainly be taken into consideration, but they must not unduly claim the right to direct your life step by step. Anyway, it’s always up to you to use discernment. Check if you do it on a regular basis. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. Dear readers and friends. You keep asking me about posting comments. Sorry, you can't post comments on this blog, but you are warmly invited to share your ideas via Facebook or e-mail. I'd love to hear what you think about what I write!.

    

Temptation

Great is the temptation to stop where you are right now. You have reached your initial goals, you have a job, you may be already retired, you have a family, you have a good time with your hobbies and with your friends, so you think you have fulfilled your responsibilities as a human being. Have you really? If you analyze your deepest feelings, you’ll realize that this is not enough. It’s definitely okay to be contented with what you have but, at the same time, you must not remain stuck in the same position, day after day…after day….  How dull!! There is always something new to be done, to be looked for, to be experienced, to be discovered in yourself that will make you feel more satisfied and fulfilled. New achievements are awaiting you! Skeptical on this point? Try and see.

How illogical!

              

     

Sometimes you feel  that life is a journey

whose destination wasn’t your choice.

Without realizing it, you allowed somebody

or something (circumstances, situations)

decide for you.

NOW… you are complaining because

you don’t like

the place you are in!