A Discovery

At a certain point in life you have to face some questions that you have avoided, ignored, overlooked for quite some time. Actually, you can still keep on avoiding, ignoring and overlooking them. It is up to you. But if you do, you miss out on the opportunity of discovering what is really important, of finding out what is missing, of becoming aware of what “Life” is all about. (By the way, what is “Life”  - actually - all about?)

Nothing or Something?

When I say that I feel I am almost a ‘nothing’ in the economy of “Life”, am I putting myself down? And - when I say that I, as small as I am, still have a role in the unfolding of the universal existence – am I trying to give myself an importance that I actually do not have? I honestly don't know. I haven’t found out an answer to such an existential question. Have you?

The "Cart"

If I think about “Life”, I imagine it as a big cart that is moved along by many wheels. Some are huge, others big, others small and others just tiny. I see myself as one of the tiny ones and I tend to see myself as almost useless. Then Positive Thinking makes me realize that, as the beach would not be complete if even one grain of sand was missing, I, too – as tiny as my impact might be – am contributing to the “movement” of the cart.

"Friends"

An Italian proverb says, "Better alone than in bad company". Do you believe it to be true? I do. It seems that nowadays many prefer to mix with "whoever" in order not to feel alone. There is here a hidden need to feel popular, to feel liked, to feel loved. But... be careful. It's not the number of friends that call you, that invite you, that are on your Facebook list that can tell you how "worth" you really are. Your worth is something that is determined by what you do, by how truly helpful you are to others, by how engaged you are in improving yourself. Therefore.... check out all your "friends" and see who is really a positive, inspiring presence in your life and who is just a "name" that actually doesn't mean anything.

Words

Take a "normal" dish and add a special spice to it. Its taste will immediately change, it will become tastier and definitely "special". The same happens when a nice word, a sincere compliment, an encouraging expression are uttered. They can make a dull day happy, they can turn a feeling of desperation into one of hope. If you have been positively affected by someone else's comment about you, don't forget to do the same to others. Words are a very powerful means of communication. Use it wisely. Use it well.

False Needs

Sometimes you are unhappy not because things in your life don't go well but because you nurse some "needs" that you wrongly perceive as such, while they are not. An example? The need to always be right. (Don't deny it because almost everybody feels the same.) Another one? The need to control. An additional one? The need to blame others/situations for your failures. If you wish to improve the way you usually "feel", you must examine yourself, find out what's going on, acknowledge it and finally get rid of it. How? By simply realizing that you don't "need" any of those negative traits. You can be much happier without always being right, without controlling, without blaming. On the contrary, what you really need are tolerance, acceptance, responsibility. 

Feeling Torn

Once I saw a movie about a woman who was torn between the love for two men, which sounded kind of impossible to me. Right now, although I still don't know about the possibility of loving two men at the same time, I do know that it is possible to be torn between two opposite wishes. Move somewhere else or stay where you are? Change your job or keep the one you have and you are used to? Start a medical treatment or not? Change a trait of your character that you believe to be right in order to keep the peace in your family, or keep expressing your feelings? To go on or give it up? These - and many similar others - are extremely important questions that you might need to face one day or another. How to deal with them? How to make the right choice? I am awfully sorry! Once again, I don't have the "right" answer. I believe no one does. You just have to dig deep inside yourself and find out which choice is "better" than the other. Better for whom or for what? Again, who knows?

Stop!

You are usually encouraged to think, wonder, imagine. They are all commendable activities that certainly help you re-create your life. But... you know what? Sometimes it might be wiser to stop all action, breathe deeply and... just "be". Why? Because - from time to time - both your mind and your spirit need to take a rest, to forget about the world's madness, to simply relax and wait for things to happen. Is this laziness? Is this indifference? Is this cowardice? Not at all. It is wisdom, it is the awareness that Life is based on "duality" and therefore it needs - equally - all opposites, including movement and rest (of the body and of the mind/spirit).

Apathy

Nowadays most people are busy doing their own thing, i.e. looking after their business, having meetings, seeing friends, going on holidays, having fun twenty-four-seven. "Keeping busy"seems the new password that defines modern life. But many other people go through a different experience: they reach a point when they feel that all this is useless, worthless, and stop being interested in anything they previously used to love. It is "apathy", although they call it "depression".  It just appears out of no-where and upturns your life upside down. If you haven't experienced it yet, you are lucky. But...beware! It might kick in, any time, with no premonition.

Tug-of-War

What is easier, to criticize someone's actions or come up with a feasible solution? Yes, criticizing is much easier because everybody is quick in detecting faults and flaws in what others say or do. I am not saying that giving your opinion, even when it is negative, is wrong. On the contrary. Evaluation and assessment of any action are necessary in order to obtain the best results. The problem arises when people like fault-finding but don't even attempt to provide positive ideas for a possible solution. On the other hand, it also happens that those who are at fault try to defend their position at all costs, thus creating a tug-of-war where, usually, no-one can win. How sad. Couldn't human beings choose a positive cooperation more often?

Minds

An interesting, well-known quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: 

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."

Think for a moment about the way the world appears to be nowadays. How would you arrange these three things in a list according to their importance? (By importance, I mean the amount of publicity they are given by the media).

From what I personally see, 'small minds' come first because what I am mostly shown on a daily basis is gossip about the so-called rich and famous. Second on the list, I would put 'average minds', as some events are made a rather remarkable fuss about. Ideas sadly come last. Where are the 'great minds' hiding? Actually, they aren't hiding. They are simply ignored.  

Decisions

The greatest mistake you can make is to allow your past to determine your present and, even worse, your future. You will immediately answer that you never do that. Think carefully: honestly, whenever you make a decision, are sure you take into consideration only the elements that are presently at your disposal, without remembering past 'similar' situations? You might say that you have to learn from the past. Sure. But don't forget that, although situations can be similar, are never the same. Therefore your present should be fresh, all new, open to possible choices that have nothing to do with what has been. Once you are beyond the first rudiments of maths, you go on and perform more complicated operations without thinking of how to sum 2 and 2. The past makes you what you are, i.e. an individual able to make different choices, to find new solutions.

Who Chooses?

Have you ever wondered about who is in charge of your mind? Who decides what you think, how you feel? You immediately answer, "I am". Are you really? Ok, so - if "you" are responsible for choosing what you think and how you feel - why do you ever so often choose to think rubbish and choose to feel awful? You always have the possibility to make choices, choices that can make you happy or unhappy. Therefore, wouldn't it be wiser to choose thoughts and feelings that make you happy? You might say that it is not that easy, that it depends on how "the others" behave towards you, on how "life" is treating you. You are right. Life in general and the others in particular have a certain way, "their" own way. That is why "you" have been given the ability to decide how to react, in order to feel as good as possible. 

What's The Point?

When Life - in spite of your efforts to spice it up a little - seems dull and pointless, you tend to ask yourself, "What's the point?" It is a legitimate question because you feel you have no other goal to reach, no additional experience to make, no new life to live. What to do? It is easy (and comfortable) to just lay back and complain, or to give up and resign yourself. You are not alone, believe me. At one point, probably every human being goes through such moments when disappointment is strongly felt, when nothing seems to have any sense any more. But it is possible to overcome such moments and get out of the rut. How? Each of us has to find - in their own way - an acceptable motivation to continue on "the journey".

Memories

Some people have the tendency to remember the past with regret. They think of the "happy times" long gone and feel sad because they are over and cannot be re-lived once again. I find this attitude totally wrong for two reasons. First, those happy times can be re-lived in your memory. When you carefully "think" about anything, you can imagine, visualize, actually see and feel with the eyes of your mind, so - in a way - you are able to re-create and re-experience that situation. Second, instead of evoking memories with a sense of sadness because they are gone, try to feel happy because they happened. After all, memories are the part of your life that make up your personal experience. In a way, they make up who "you" are.

The "Ruler"

Visualize your life in the shape of a ruler. A 100-centimeter ruler. Figuring that you will live to be a hundred, where are you now? How much of the ruler's length have you covered? About a half? Less than a half? More than a half? Are you nearing the end? Wherever you see your life to be at, you can ask yourself the same questions: "How have I lived up to now? Am I satisfied with what I have done, with the results achieved so far?" No matter where you are "on the ruler", you still have a certain number of centimeters to cover. You don't know how many, but this is not the point. The point is that today, right "now" you are here wondering. Therefore, you are still able to do something, i.e. change an attitude or fix a problem, improve a situation, achieve a little more, offer an extra smile, stretch your helping hand a little further...

Attitudes

Every age has its peculiar characteristics, so people tend to take on a particular attitude according to the stage of life they find themselves in. Does this always reflect reality? It depends. Being a teenager does not automatically mean that one should be careless and obnoxious, as being an adult does not consequently make one mature and responsible. Attitudes are strictly personal and are not determined by your birth certificate: they are "ageless". Therefore, you can be optimistic (or pessimistic) at any age. Actually, if you reflect carefully, you will see that it's not your actual "age" that determines your attitude but the other way around. As long as you are happy and positive, your heart will always be young. Naturally, the reverse is also true.

Green Grass

A famous saying talks about your neighbor's grass being greener than yours. It is certainly true if you like to look around to see what's going on with your neighbors, or tend to compare yourself with others. Instead of focusing on yourself and on your business, you feel the need to "know" stuff about other people. (This can explain the success of tabloids and reality shows!). On the other hand, people who creatively concentrate on what they are doing, who keep busy trying to achieve excellency in their endeavors, usually don't look at gardens except their own, don't compare "grasses" and, consequently, don't feel they are less than anybody else.

"Mission"

I often wonder what are we here for. The answer I usually give myself is: to carry out our "mission". What mission? Anything you feel important to you, that you want to share and that is also useful to others. Are you a doctor? a teacher? a plumber? a bus driver? an artist? Fine. The problem arises when you are unable to do what you love or are good at, when you have no special skill, when you retire and are left with nothing to do, when you do something you believe to be useful but no-one pays attention... In such a situation, what can such "mission" be? 

Impressing Others

How important is it for you to impress others? Ask yourself this question and answer sincerely. The way you reply  can tell you a lot about yourself. If you feel the need to receive approval or admiration, you may - deep inside - feel afraid you don't deserve it, that's why you look for constant reassurance. On the other hand, if you are ok with who you are and with what you do, without expecting people to validate your actions or words, you live a freer life because you believe in yourself and in your capability of behaving in the best possible way.

Roads

As you cannot judge a book by its cover, you cannot know where a road will take you by simply considering its appearance. The simplest one, all straight ahead in a flat countryside, might lead you to the dullest destination, while a bumpy, winding up path may allow you to later enjoy the most beautiful view. Life is the same. A lack of obstacles may be cherished because it spares you from making any effort - but you won't also feel the deep satisfaction of saying, "I made it!", while you wipe your forehead and pull down your sleeves.

Perception

There is a tv personality that I have only known as the "tough cop" on a police show that I love. Now I've found out that he was the co-founder and still is a member of a very famous pop group, where he sings and dances. Yet, I can't imagine him singing and dancing. I cannot see his original "nature". For me, he is and will always be the tough cop Danny Reagan. The point of this story? An interesting one. Once you see someone under a certain perspective (and judge them accordingly), you are not able to perceive who they really are. They might be totally different from how they appear to you but... you simply cannot recognize it.

Anger and Happiness

Anger and happiness are two very common moods that can push you to say or do some stuff that you might eventually regret. Any time you make a decision when you are upset, it's almost always a wrong decision because anger is the least reliable adviser. The same happens when you are in a wonderful mood and make promises that, the euphoric state gone, you don't feel like keeping. When you are either happy or angry, just "be". Acknowledge your feeling, accept it, experience it and... wait for it to pass (because it certainly will). Only when your mind is relaxed, calm and serene can you be fully aware of your words and actions.

Life Goes On

American poet Robert Frost wrote, "In 3 words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on". It is a wise statement that you often forget. You forget it when you allow yourself to be prey of negativity, when you feel depressed, when you say that you cannot bear the situation any longer, when you feel that everything is lost. You "can" bear the situation and "nothing" is lost. As long as you are alive, you can overcome any obstacle because you are strong enough. Life goes on, no matter what, so you must simply believe that every day is truly a new beginning.

Wait

Patience is said to be an important feature of life, and it really is. If you want to be successful in your endeavors, you need to grant a sufficient amount of time for things to happen. At the same time, you cannot... just wait. Your waiting should not be passive, idle. On the contrary. While apparently doing "nothing", you must stay alert in order to seize the right opportunity whenever it presents itself. Don't be in a hurry, don't be impatient but, at the same time, don't... go to sleep! Patience and laziness are not synonyms.

Lack

It seems more natural to think about the negative than the positive, about what is missing rather than what is available. It might happen the same when you think about yourself. When you have a brilliant idea and want to start something new, you often tell yourself that you "don't" have this or that (the right age, education, wealth, intelligence, looks, knowledge, acquaintances etc.). Why don't you consider, instead, all the things that you "do" have? You tend to undervalue your assets. You prefer to focus on what you believe you lack instead of appreciating all that you have. And this may be the cause of what is missing in your life.

Existence

If you think about your life, do you feel you are living it to its fullest or do you limit yourself to just "exist"? It is an important question that, maybe, you have never thought of asking yourself. To live or to exist: this is the problem. The difference between the two is huge but not many are fully aware of it. Anything that is on this planet actually exists. We usually think about something that "has life", but it is not exact: even a rock exists, i.e. has a place on Earth. Anyway, however you define it, what is "your" situation? Do you lead the lifeless existence of a rock, the vegetative life of a plant, the all-instinctive being of an animal or, finally, do you act as a real, intelligent, active, sensible, fair, caring human being?

Active Patience

If you are impatient, if you are in a hurry to achieve your goals, you won't probably succeed or, at least, your success will not be as great as you expected. Plans need time to be carried out, deeds must be done carefully. Therefore, only if you have forbearance can you hope to hit your target. But being patient and careful is not enough. You also need to actually take serious action, rise from the couch, roll up your sleeves and... get to work. Take your time, don't fret but be consistent, disciplined and persistent in your endeavor. Finally, enjoy the result!

No Flukes

“One of the most important keys to Success is having the discipline to do what you know you should do, even when you don't feel like doing it.” Some unknown wise guy said this and be assured that it is totally true. Most people, most times, believe that success can be achieved overnight, with a simple stroke of luck. It might happen but: first, it's very rare, second, even an overnight success - if it is "real" and going to be long-lasting - must have had some previous serious preparation. Discipline gives your pursuit order, it gives your action consistency and makes the outcome more likely. At times it can be hard, or boring, or unpleasant. But if you truly want to achieve your goal, you must work for it, day by day, with calm determination. 

The Good Life

How many people believe they are  here on Earth to live a good life? If "good" means having a high standard, they should check on "the way" they carry on. They may assume that money, power, control make them important. It could be so. Nevertheless, such assets don't contribute to lifting their spiritual standard. If you believe that a good life is only material, you will be satisfied with worldly achievements. But if you feel there is something "higher", you will not. A wealthy life doesn't necessarily mean a good life.