2021 Wishes

2020 is probably the year whose end everybody wished to see -more than any other one. It has been a though time but, unfortunately, up to now no-one can forecast when the "situation" will be really over. People drag along, one day after another and, in a strange and mysterious way, it seems that unusual routines have been established, and accepted. Most things don't work as they did "before" it all started. Relationships are forcefully maintained on differently basis. The cities look different with their empty streets and closed stores. A semblance of normality is still the illusion nursed by some, while others give in to depression and loneliness. The very spirit of each human being has been affected because, as never before, most feel that Life itself is "different". Therefore, what can the wishes for 2021 be? You wish... he/she wishes... I wish... they wish... Let us fill in the blanks and...let us hope for the best. There is nothing else we can do! P.S. It seems that irises are symbols of hope. Here are Van Gogh's.   "Happy New Year"!!!                                                                             

Interesting Puzzle

When you experience a certain feeling, you tend to believe that such feeling identifies with "you" because it involves your whole being. But the instant you start to elaborate such thought, you realize that there is a 'quid' outside the feeling that is doing the thinking. Therefore, if you are wondering, and realize that the mind is a simple tool for thoughts to manifest, where do thoughts come from? Certainly not from your body and most probably not from your mind either. So? Here your capacity for reasoning suddenly comes to a halt, because you cannot grasp a reality that seems to be beyond "your own" reality - or at least the reality you can understand with the means available to you.

 

A Mysterious 'Engine'

You have heard the words “You are not your body, you are not not your  thoughts, you are not your feelings.” These may seem rather strange affirmations. They can make sense, in a way, but they are hard to really understand and accept. They make sense because, if you ask yourself about your usual identification with your body, you can clearly see that there is “someone” or “something” asking the question, i.e. a reality outside the body. The same happens if you wonder about the question itself. Questions take place in your mind, they are thoughts. And if you ask where these thoughts are coming from, it’s clear that they cannot come from the mind itself.  An eye cannot see itself because the motor of  the ‘seeing’ is the brain (not the eye itself). What is the ‘motor’ of your thoughts? 

Detachment Is a Must

Although it seems that your advice to others often yields results, it is always “their choice” to accept it that makes things happen in a certain way. Money, health, friends are all important assets and your life is happier and more fulfilling if you can have and enjoy them, but none of them can provide you with total fulfillment - because they are “external”. What is outside can only provide a temporary feeling of satisfaction, never a permanent one. Because nothing is really perfect, you always nurse a subtle dissatisfaction even in the most seemingly fantastic achievements. Your loved ones never totally behave the way you expect or would like, money fluctuates, you are never sure that you will forever have enough, good health is great but … Try to be aware of the fact that you are the only person who can create your thoughts, moods and, consequently, experiences. Detachment is a must, if you want to avoid too much disappointment and frustration in your life.

Doing Without

There are people, things, feelings and situations that most human beings believe they cannot do without. If this is your ‘creed’, too, it is not easy for you to be happy. The fact is that you are who you are, independently from anything outside yourself. If you think of all the stuff that fills your life, you may realize that you can detach yourself from most of it, that you don’t really have the 'need' of it. Other people, family members included, are here to fulfill their own lives. Such lives are independent from yours, even though sometimes it might seem otherwise. Husband and wife, parents and children, partners, best friends… the tie between them is evidently very strong but the knot is never too tight that it cannot be undone. You love them, you care for them, you wish them well, but they are "their own persons" and nothing you do will really have a determining impact on how their lives will eventually unfold. 

Don't Waste Your Time

You often spend precious moments that will never come back just thinking of stuff that has already happened and done with. You are not aware of the uselessness of doing so. You don’t realize that continuing to bring old good times back to mind has the only result of making you feel deprived and dissatisfied. You keep making comparisons between what you had and what you have and, of course, it seems that the past was always better than the present. In other cases, remembering events long gone makes you feel guilty for errors you committed and so you experience sorrow and grief over a "broken dish" that cannot be mended. As to the future, provided you know where we want to go, and provided you have a general plan for what you want to achieve, forget about what might happen tomorrow. You cannot "know" until tomorrow becomes today!

Conscious Gazing

Like everybody else you, too, enjoy dreaming, getting away from reality, losing yourself in an imaginary world where you are happy and fulfilled. This happens because you are unaware of your capability of creating your heaven here and now. It might not be an exotic far away place, but even here, where you are in this very moment, you can appreciate beautiful sights and sounds. Look out of your window and notice what you see. Really focus on that tree whose leaves are trembling in the breeze. Look up and observe the clouds dancing in the sky. Listen to the voice of a bird, of a child, pay attention even to the noise of a passing-by car. Aren’t these things worth seeing and listening to? Yes, they are….the same as tropical palm-trees, oceanic waves and unknown birds. You know why? Because it is all "Life". And if you overlook what is at your disposal, here and now, you are not living fully!

Dream Island

Sometimes your mind wonders from thought to thought without concentrating on any; ideas come and go, spin like a merry-go-round, often leaving you confused and dissatisfied. When it happens, it’s because you are not “aware”. You are not aware of the many gifts you have been given, you take everything for granted and don’t give it the importance it deserves. When it happens, you are missing the many opportunities to live a “full” life, enjoying every single moment, here, in the place where you find yourself, and not on your dream island in the Southern Seas!! The ironical thing is that people who actually live on that heavenly island are probably dreaming of being  in a place similar to the one “you” presently are.

A Basic Duty

Do you ever reflect upon how controlled, conditioned people are by their past: ideas, experiences, parents, teachers, friends, concepts? All that has happened, all they have been told, all that has been seen and heard leave a mark on their minds and spirits. There is the possibility that you, too, keep on living - thinking to be 'original', while you may be living as a remote controlled individual who only believes to be free. It is therefore important to raise questions, to check how open you are towards doubting your convictions, towards releasing some cliches that had been imposed on you by past experiences. Not all your beliefs are wrong, of course, but there might be some that you still accept out of habit or carelessness, possibly because they are convictions well established in your family, in your community or in your country. Be the "supreme judge" of what you make your own! It is your duty toward yourself.

No True Perception

You are not "here" when you do something while thinking of something else. Is it possible? Yes, it is. It’s what you do most of the time. It’s a kind of mental “multitasking” that allows you to drink coffee while watching the news. In so doing you don’t really taste the coffee, as we don’t hear the music if you study or work with our headphones on. Therefore, you necessarily miss out on one of them. Not being here means not perceiving your whole "beingness". This happens when your hand does not feel what it is touching, when your eyes glide over whatever is in front of them, without real perception. Your senses should help you to be more in contact with yourself and with the external world, but it seems that you  (as most of us) don’t know how to use them properly.

Taking Photos

A family went on vacation to a lovely place for the first time but, instead of enjoying the beautiful views, they kept busy taking photos. And the photos were not even to keep a memory of the trip…it was for showing their friends! Is this the way you live your life? Sadly, it may be so. You do deeds without really paying attention, you hear people without really listening to them, you look at things without really seeing them. Why does this happen? Because you are not “in the present”. You are often involved in thoughts that concern the past or the future. You love remembering what happened yesterday, as pleasant or unpleasant it might have been. You keep making plans that may just be fantasy. Do you unconsciously believe that it’s a good exercise for your memory cells?

Conscious Walking

The lyrics of a famous old song say: “Let’s forget about tomorrow, for tomorrow never comes”! How true! But how overlooked such reality is by most of us! Tomorrow never comes because, when it does, it’s not tomorrow anymore, it is “today”. So, if you concentrate on what you are doing now, you consciously create your life moment by moment, always knowing what you are up to, and enjoying every step of the trip towards your destination. Once you know what your destination, your goal is, forget about it and move forward, one step at the time, being always aware of where, moment by moment, you are putting your foot and of what is there, right before your eyes.

From Friendship to Acquaintance

Friendship is important in everybody's life, as all human beings need to live in a social environment. Total solitude is a state rarely sought after. Living among others may also mean making friends. Having a true friend (and being one) means that you trust and feel comfortable with that person. When you trust and feel comfortable, you often experience the need to confide in such person. In fact, almost everybody feels the desire to share their feelings and occurrences. People need to be acknowledged and sympathized with. In case you realize that you are not interested any more in telling your friend what is going on in your life, in your mind or in your soul, you must accept the fact that such friendship has dissolved. It has been demoted to the rank of acquaintance.

A Recurring Question

It is interesting to raise questions about the meaning of things, the motivations behind actions (yours and others’), and try to find reasons for people’s behavior. You may feel that you are "stuck" but, at the same time – and this might sound contradictory – even in such case you have the sensation that you are still going somewhere. You perceive yourself as able to deal well with others, you can understand and accept them the way they are. This makes you feel more serene because you are really trying to neither judge nor condemn anybody. Yet, you still feel in a rut - as positive as it can be, always a rut - where you don’t find any new stimuli, where you don’t find tools that would allow you to do more. In the end, you still wonder if this is "all there is".   *

Clarity

Reflecting upon some aspects and relevant feelings experienced during the human existence, love is certainly one of the most cared and talked about. But, in spite of saying that love is eternal, that you believe that your relationships will last forever, you often end up in a situation that makes you realize how a major change in your feelings has taken place. Although such awareness tells you that things have deteriorated, you might continue affirming your love for that person, your capacity to deal with the situation. If you do, you are deceiving yourself. No blame, here. It simply happens and, when it does, just accept it and be honest about it. Then, it will be easier to decide on the following step.

Dictator vs. Leader

A “dictator” in Ancient Rome destroyed the opposition, gave strong doses of propaganda daily, often built around a cult of personality, etc. In modern times a similar individual refers to himself as "the Leader”. Leader comes from an Old English word meaning 'to go before as a guide’, to lead the way. Now, ask yourself: ‘What is the path I want to walk on throughout my life? What destination do I wish to reach?’ Then, ask yourself if you are willing to follow the self-called “leader” wherever he takes you,  blindfolded, without ever wondering if his is the best route towards your destination, or if you would rather check where you are heading, just in case such path ends on the edge of a precipice. So, beware of any path scattered with hate, discord, division because it will bring you just there. Reflect on what your stance is in front of such a dire possibility.

A Desirable Equilibrium

Life has many different facets, just like a precious stone. According to the way you look at it, it shows one or another. Two of the most important ones are  material and spiritual achievements. There is balance when you get enough of both, and you may be among the lucky people who succeed in such endeavor. However, sometimes it happens that you receive too  much of one and/or too little of the other. You might have money, success and friends while lacking real love and spiritual fulfillment. On the other hand, it is possible for your mind to reach higher goals while the physical or emotional side of your existence is less than satisfactory. What can be done to reach an acceptable equilibrium? As usual, no ready-made answer is available. You have to work it out - on your own.

Truth vs. Impressions

Imagine that you are sitting at the back of a car during a ride. You lean back and the constant movement makes you feel like relaxing. You close your eyes and experience the sensation of speeding forward. Then, suddenly, the sensation reverses and you feel like speeding backwards. Both seem real. As such incorrect perception gives you the sensation of a dual reality, you may wander: "To what extent can I trust my senses in my everyday experience?" Yes, to what extent? Sometimes you are so certain that something is true that you could swear on it, but later you have the proof that it was not so. That event did not happen the way you recall it. The action of that person did not correspond to your judgement. So, how true are "impressions"?

Descent

A clear pattern can be detected in the history of mankind. At the beginning, it was just a small group of people who got together in order to survive. Then they evolved into a more advanced form of society which, through progressive ‘leaps’, achieved higher and higher levels. In Roman history, for example, a bunch of settlers were able to create a mighty empire. But, after reaching the top, it started to decline till its greatness faded. Our world (at least a great part of it) is now in such descending parable. Political, economic, social, cultural, artistic peaks are crumbling down. Even technology, while ‘progressing’ exceedingly fast, is failing to make people happier. If “progress” is supposed to create a truly better life for mankind, the present world situation sadly shows just the opposite. Can you perceive any glimmer of re-climbing?

                        

 

Ocean of Gloom

I wonder: how positive can we be in the world we are living in? Negativity has always existed but...the past is past, and what interests us here is the present situation. You read or listen to the news and find that they are 99% about 'bad' stuff. There is so much verbal, physical, emotional abuse at all levels. TV movies are mostly about killing, aggression, blood. Reality shows, that seem so well liked by many, revolve about bickering, offending and blaming each other. Most commercials concern disease, medicine, food that harms your health and makes you gain weight, expensive 'systems' to make you lose that weight... Good news and good programs exist, but the majority show otherwise. To live serenely enough, you must learn how to navigate through this ocean of gloom, and try to avoid being reached by its waves.

Need to Know

Let's think again about the mind's need to "know", because it is one of the main human features, along with the need for survival and love. Some are unaware of it, so for them it doesn't really exist. Others have a hint of its existence, but they choose to ignore it. So they convince themselves that it doesn't exist or it doesn't matter. There are a few, though, who are strongly directed to pursue 'knowledge', and spend their lives trying to "understand". Understand what? The meaning of "what is": why are we here, is there a purpose unfolding in space and time, will there be an end, was there a beginning, where does it all come from? It may be interesting to  find out who lives better, those who don't care to take this matter into consideration, or those who struggle to get an answer at all costs. To which category do you belong?

Target

You may go on, day after day, nursing the illusion that a new job, a new house, a new love, new looks, will make you happier. Accept this truth: they won’t. You can be grateful with the gifts you receive and enjoy them, but it’s your deep 'self' that must be content and satisfied with circumstances, no matter what they might be. Happiness in itself is a fantasy, an unreachable aim upon which you have no control. But, like an archer who diligently practices with his bow, believing that one day he will center his target (and it is not unlikely that he will) you, too, had better practice being positive, open-minded, non-judgmental, compassionate etc… When you have done your work, you may even receive an unexpected award! 

Stay Open

We previously said that happiness cannot be created. This is a rather logical concept. You don’t go out searching for happiness as you don’t go our searching for love. Many people believe they can - but they are usually disappointed. There are things that can be “found” or “achieved”, like a lost wallet or knowledge. Others, like faith, love, happiness, serenity, peace - cannot. The only way to obtain them is to put yourself in the right disposition of heart and mind. When you are open to all possibilities, when you honestly “do your best”, and then accept what comes along, you might be blessed with the granting of your desire which, in the end, does not reside in others or in the outside world. If you believe it does, you soon see the result of your wrong belief. It is a hard lesson to learn, but it is essential.

A Dangerous 'Sport'

Complaining is a common human 'sport' so you, too, are not immune. You complain because you didn’t get a raise, because the car broke down, because your child got a D in a test, because you cut a finger while chopping vegetables, because your partner doesn’t agree with your point of view. They are unpleasant situations all right, but not to the extent of making you angry, upset, of making you curse or start a fight. Do you ever think about how lucky you are just because you are here, able to lead a decent life, speak up your mind, interact with others, go out for a walk, read a magazine, enjoy your coffee? Little things – yes, they certainly are – but they become 'big' if you think of those who don’t have them. And…you know what? It’s highly possible that some people who don’t have them are happier that you. Why? Because they complain less and appreciate more.

You Can Train Yourself

Do you know who Helen Keller was? She was an outstanding, enlightened human being. Blind, deaf and dumb, she was still able to affirm: “How wonderful life is”! Gratitude is a great tool to achieve serenity and you can obtain it by training yourself. How? By becoming aware of your “self” (body, mind, spirit), of what you have (life, a home etc.), of what surrounds you (nature, art, music etc.), of feelings (love, compassion, friendship etc.), of the inner small voice (intuition) that is always there to guide you on the right path - if you give it the opportunity of being heard. Isn’t all this enough to nurse gratitude in your heart and make it grow till it overflows?  *

Think Again!

There is a story about a man who, after demanding and receiving from a monk a big precious stone, could not help wondering; “Why could he give it up so easily?”. The answer is that the value the monk gave the diamond was not the same as the man’s. What was important to the monk was not riches. He was satisfied with what he already had. Contentment (and consequent gratitude) is a great concept, easy to understand but even easier to forget. When you have what you need or want, you take it for granted and hardly enjoy it to the fullest because you don’t give it too much importance. It’s there… so what? I am in reasonably good health…fine! I have a roof over my head and food on the table…fine! I have a family…fine! I have a job…friends…fine! So? Isn’t it what everybody else has? No, it isn’t! 

Useful Feedback

Guilt is one negative emotion. Like everybody else, you, too, may have something you feel guilty about. It might be a big or a small mistake. You have perhaps done someone wrong, mistreated another, been dishonest, mean, vindictive... Whatever it is, it’s something that haunts you, something that you try to forget but the nagging feeling is always there and prevents you from being totally serene. You wish you could change the past but you know that it’s not possible. Making amends? Maybe, but it’s not always possible because the person you have wronged may not be available any more; because fixing the problem is useless by now; because you still don’t have the courage to admit it openly. So, the feeling is still there and there is nothing you can do about it. Or this is what you believe. Is it totally true? If you endeavor to come to term with yourself, you may receive revelatory feedback from your deeper Self.

A Way to Find Peace

If you have been hurt, you are probably still holding a grudge, feeling blame and resentment. What can you do to start cleansing your heart? You may try to put yourself in our offender’s shoes. Ask: What could their motivations have been? How did I behave before the fact? Might I have had a certain amount of responsibility in what happened? Could I have reacted to the provocation in a different way? Why do I keep thinking about it? These questions need honest answers, and you may start by giving up the need to show that "they" are wrong.  In case you harbor jealousy or envy in your heart, ask if you are blaming others for being who they are, for having what they have, while they are simply creating their own lives. Why should you feel as if fate had wronged "you"? Everyone is responsible for his or her own thoughts, deeds, achievements and failures. Finding an answer means finding peace.

Hide or Do?

Yes, this world is not really a joyful place. In fact, you witness fighting, deceit, wars, accidents, cataclysmic events, painful diseases - every single day. You can hardly find something to laugh about. Should you therefore ignore what is going on and retreat in your little protected shell? Possibly you could, and many people do. Could you go out and express your opinions loudly? Some do. Could you actually get involved and act upon your beliefs, participating in actions where action can be useful? A few do. What about the rest, those who would like to do something “to help” but don’t know what or how to do it? If you say you don’t want to stay hidden in your shell, that you are willing to “do good”, to help improve the situation but don’t find the means or the tools to do it, is there a solution?

 

This World

It may seem absurd to realize that you are living in the midst of such a beautiful, lively creation and still are not happy. Some say that happiness cannot be created,  it cannot be found outside yourself, and it can only come as a consequence. These are paramount affirmations which are really worth pondering upon. Basically, they say that you are unhappy in spite of living in a beautiful and joyful world. If you look at what surrounds you, can you honestly say that it is a joyful world? Beautiful, maybe. Nature is certainly worthy of admiration, in its multiform colorful expressions. But joyful? There are certainly ways to find entertainment, amusement, pleasure. But there is also so much hate, pain, distress, blame, resentment... Is it possible to reconcile the two opposites?

Finding Peace

Women who are already beautiful are never satisfied with their looks, they believe that there is always something that could be done to improve them. If you have good health, you probably take it for granted and don’t pay too much attention to it, if you are rich either you’ll try to increase your capital or you’ll be afraid of losing it. And love…. Love is quite deceitful, too. You believe that your beloved is the one who will make you happy, forever, only to discover after  some time that it is not the case. Nothing and no one can give you happiness, can make you  more serene. All you can do is create in yourself a state of mind receptive to calm and tranquillity. No more worrying, fretting, getting upset, expecting… A simple act of acceptance of what you presently have is the most secure way to find peace in your heart.

Happiness on Demand

Is there anything more important than peace in our lives? Superficial people, who don’t reflect on the issue, will surely answer that there are plenty of things more important than “peace”, because peace would be a consequence of achieving what they value most of all: such things as health, wealth, beauty, success, fame, power, romantic love etc… They believe that, obtaining one of these things, or several of them, will automatically bring along peace and happiness. They think of happiness as the fulfillment of their desires. Nothing could be farther from the truth. No one can say: “I am a powerful/famous/rich/beautiful person” and be automatically happy. Can you?

No Control

You always struggle to feel “in control”. You don’t like the idea that certain things are out of your reach, that you have no power over yourself or others. You want to be able to do what you want, to move as fast as you wish, to have things going your way, to see others behave according to your own expectations. Does it work? No. Do you learn the lesson? Probably not! You refuse to see things as they are and continue to trudge though life burdened by your beliefs and pre-conceived ideas about how things should be, being usually disappointed because things go differently. Wisdom asks you to say yes to whatever happens, which evidently is the only wise decision to make, as situations often shape themselves without your intervention. You sometime have the possibility to actually create your circumstances, and it is good to be aware of this and make the most of it. But when it is not the case… better accept willingly what you cannot avoid.   *

Good For Them!

Many believe that they must be on the go all the time, eat a sandwich gobbling down a cup of coffee while doing some work on the computer. That is why many people go around with tense expressions, always talking on their cellphone, texting, messaging – wherever they are and no matter whom they are with. They are afraid that some important news might elude them, they loathe the idea of being left behind. Well, that is their choice and they have the right to it. They do things and deal with other people without really seeing them, without enjoying them, without caring for them, as long as there are things to be done, engagements to be kept, people to be met. They feel so important, so necessary, so sought after. All we can say is: If they feel fulfilled, good for them! 

Who Needs to Relax?

“Isn’t it wonderful that she can do so many things all at the same time?”, we say in admiration when a colleague is a 'multitasker'. She can check the mail and give directions while answering the phone. You may admire such a person simply because you can’t do it. You need your time to do ONE thing at the time. Now you wonder who is more serene and relaxed. “She” is surely more “successful”, being able to achieve so much in the shortest time but…what about relaxation? On second thought, probably this is an extremely appreciated word in the modern, most updated vocabulary. In fact, who needs to relax?

An Iconic Word

A man in a museum tells his children, "Hurry, hurry! If you stop to look at each thing, you won’t see anything.” Comical, isn’t it? Yet, it’s the way some people act most of the time. They feel they are so busy, they have so many things to do but not enough time. They believe that what is at hand is not as important as what is coming. They end up not living the present moment in full awareness because they are projected towards the future. If doing something takes too much time, they think, “I can get away with doing it just 'fairly' well, so that I can move on to the next task.”. The new iconic representation of the modern successful person is Multitasking! 

Does Your Life Have a Purpose?

If you are not sure about your life's purpose, ask yourself:

* How do I see myself?

* What am I presently doing?

* Whom am I doing it for?

* Am I satisfied with it?

* Is there another endeavor that could be more beneficial to myself 

   and to others/ society?

Many people spend most of their lives without knowing what their life's purpose is. That is the cause of their feeling unfulfilled. What about you?

Expect or Not Expect?

It is commonplace to say that you should not expect anything from others, that disappointment is caused by expectations, that you should do things without wondering about the results. It is a good principle, but it cannot be accepted unconditionally  If you give your friend a gift just to make them happy, it's wise not to expect for it to be necessarily reciprocated, as your friend may have other ways to show their affection towards you. The main point is this: you might not expect tangible proofs of their love, but the feeling that such love really exists is indispensable. Otherwise it would be like throwing flowers in the wind: they would be carried away without leaving a trace, without giving anybody pleasure. And if you have a talent (baking, singing, writing, acting etc.) and you share it with others, it's fair for you to expect at least some attention. Otherwise... what's the use of sharing?