Live For Today

"Live for today" is a very good piece of advice. You might say that there is no other way to live, that everybody lives in the present, for today. Sorry to disappoint you, but quite often it is not so. How come? Where else could you live? you might ask. If you are stuck in the past, always remembering stuff of yesterday (last month, ten years ago...), if you keep thinking about what happened instead of what should have happened (regrets!), you are not giving the present your full attention. The same happens when you keep making plans for the future, when you have the tendency to program every move you are going to make, when you are always wondering about what action you should take instead of actually taking it. Day-dreaming is good because it adds imagination, enthusiasm and novelty to your daily life but it is also dangerous if you don't know when to stop. If your head is in the clouds, don't forget that your feet are on the ground and that you need to see "now" where you are going.

A Lesson to Be Learned

When you are told that you should learn from the past, what does it really mean? Is there an actual lesson to be learned? Yes, there is. Is there a way to learn it? Yes, there is. What is the lesson? How do you do it? Let's give an example. You keep meeting people who take advantage of you. What is the lesson? You must learn to be less acquiescent (therefore more assertive). How can you change this trait of yours? By examining the attitude you usually show, the words you use, your body language. Why? Because these are the "messengers" that inform your interlocutor that you have not enough self-confidence, so you can be easily taken advantage of. When you fully understand what you must change in your ways, and you make the effort to do it, you will have learned the lesson your past experiences have been trying to teach you. Good luck!

The Present

Have you ever paid attention to the fact that the time you are living right now is called "present", which also means "gift"? Reflecting upon this homonymy should make you realize that "today" is a bonus you must be grateful for and make good use of. Don't overlook it, don't ignore it, don't waste it. Once gone, it will never be yours again. It will never come back and you will have lost the opportunity to do something good, to experience something new, to explore other possibilities. Therefore... enjoy the gift, live the "now", fully and consciously.

Meaningful People

Some people have a great impact on your life while others don't. As you can't forget a beautiful painting that struck you with its beauty when you first saw it in a museum or in an art book, or a lovely melody that you heard long ago, thus some individuals leave a perpetual track in your memory. Who are they? Those who gave you much to remember. While it would be wise to forget who provides only negative memories, it is good to remember those who help you in a way or another: maybe with an actual deed, maybe with a listening ear or a shoulder to cry upon, or with a simple word that can soothe your pain or provide you with the insight you need.

The Shortest Way

How do you usually approach people? With a smile or with a scowl? Or with a neutral expression? Some people, by nature, wear a friendly expression while others don't. Maybe they are both "good" individuals, but the latter seem less available to engage in a cordial conversation. Body language is as important as words, sometimes it is even more important because it reveals your actual feelings more clearly. A smile is the shortest way in order to receive a warm welcome. It shows that you are a "positive" person.

Try... Again!

An old saying advises you to try, try, and try again. Even if you fail, you should not give up. Why? Because in the end, if you are determined enough, you will achieve your goal. Does this advice always work? Saying that it does - always - would be a bit unrealistic because it is not a strict rule. But what is sure is that, if you are not persistent, you will seldom carry out any serious enterprise. Persistence is not stubbornness, though. Taken all the odds into careful consideration, it is up to your intelligence to decide how, how far or how long to persist in your endeavor.

False Victim

Next time you complain about the way you were treated, ask yourself what "you" had done before you got what you perceive as mistreatment. It is certainly true that at times someone else's behavior may be hurtful, but other times it is you who choose to create the situation that you later complain about. There is a person who is so convinced to be the "victim" of the set of circumstances she found herself in, that she refuses to acknowledge that "she" is the one who gave origin to the unpleasant situation. Now she is only reaping what she had sown, but - unfortunately - she is totally unable to see the truth, so powerful is the mental screen she has built around her awareness.

Dreams

Do you ever day-dream? People can't help dreaming at night, during their sleep, because that is an unconscious action, independent from their will. But day-dreaming (I mean "conscious" wandering of the mind) is not so common. Most human beings are so rooted to the ground that they never allow their imagination to soar in the realm of fantasy. You may say, "Dreams don't become true". How do you know? Have you ever believed that they might? Have you ever tried to do something to make them happen?

Odds

How easily do you get discouraged? If you let nothing deter you, you are lucky indeed. There certainly are people who are firm and unwavering in front of any difficulty. But others (most?) are not as steadfast. They allow disappointment to bring them down, to spoil their mood, to make them fear any new undertaking. The whole world seems to be shouting, "No", so they are unable to dare. If you are one of those, try listening to the whisper that says, "Hope", instead. Nothing is ever pre-determined in such a way that makes your action useless. Although you might not be in total control of certain situations, it is also true that you can always have an impact on your environment. All you need is the courage to take action in spite of the possible odds. Many do. Why not "you"?

Forward

Scottish pioneer and explorer David Livingstone said, "I will go anywhere, as long as it is forward". Wow. These are wonderful words indeed. Or... are they? Do you feel that, whatever you do, you are moving forward, you are progressing on your life path? Even if you believe you do, it may be worth taking a closer look. Examine what you thought, said or did last week, yesterday, a moment ago. Are you sure that it was the best you could think, say or do? What is important here is your being "aware" of your thoughts and actions at all times, because such awareness can help you avoid being led astray.

The End!

When you decide to read a book, are you more interested in the story or in the happy (or unhappy) ending?  The fact is that any conclusion is the consequence of what came before. What really counts is the development of the plot, the description of characters and places, the actions and reactions. Finally... the end! It's all over. The same happens with Life. It is happening also with "your" life. Therefore...don't keep worrying about what will be, about how things will end up. Experience every moment, enjoy what is given to you - even the less pleasant things - because it is all "Life", because these are moments that you won't be able to live again.

Concerto n.1

I have often mentioned that my favorite composer is Pyotr Tchaikovsky and one of my favorite among his pieces is "Concerto n.1". Yet, although I simply adore it, I dislike some of the middle part. Why? I don't know. It is just the way it is, with no logical explanation. But reflecting upon any similar experience can provide an additional proof of how, in life, nothing is ever totally the way we expect or would like it to be. Nothing is fully enjoyable because there is always something that, if you allow it, might spoil what - on the other hand - you like and relish. Always ups and downs, remember? If you willingly accept what you don't particularly appreciate, you can move on to what you love and be able to enjoy it even more.

A Tiny Idea

Do you remember the day, even the instant, that started a huge change in your life? Many times great achievements are originated by a small idea that, if accepted and carried through, brings an often unexpected success. This is why no hint or cue towards rightful action should ever be ignored or overlooked. Tiny beginnings can give life to great results, a simple smile can originate a wonderful friendship. You will never know it, if you don't follow your intuition, i.e. that small voice that tries to be heard in spite of the much louder worldly noise.

Easy vs. Hard

Sometimes the easiest way is the best choice. If you want to go from point A to point B, for example, moving in a straight line is the most logical and feasible solution. Other times it is not so. When you look for the "easy way out" of a problem (like avoiding or overlooking it) instead of facing it, you are probably doing the wrong thing. Yes, it often happens that the hardest thing ends up being the right thing to do. If you "always" take the elevator and ignore the stairs, if you prefer to drive at all times and never walk, you  will find yourself totally unfit whenever you are compelled to climb or hike (which will surely happen, one time or another!). 

Doubting

Doubting is human, because direct experience tells you that you can never be absolutely certain of anything or anybody. Whatever, or whoever appears in a particular way, can suddenly (or slowly) change and you find yourself dealing with something or someone different from what you previously knew. But there is one thing that you can nurse and keep with you forever: self-confidence, i.e. the belief in yourself and in what you can do. Why is it so? Because you always have a choice (provided you don't allow others to choose for you). As long as you believe that you "can" be, do, express, help, create, love, etc., you are your own 'work of art', the real master of your life.

The Lamp

Human life (and the whole world) is based on opposites: good and bad, kind and rude, helpful and selfish, and so on. Also happiness and unhappiness are a typical feature, along with light and dark. When you are happy, all appears luminous, when you are unhappy, all you see is gloom. But the switch to turn on the light is at your disposal. It is up to you to transform a situation, it is your prerogative to make the choice between remaining in the dark and switching on the "lamp".

Hurt & Joy

It is inherent to the human nature to focus on the negative rather than the positive. There is a sort of complaisance in delving into the pain, overlooking the joy. Can we detect here a deeply rooted (and well hidden) desire to be pitied? Or, maybe, a way to draw attention? Now think about the people who had an impact on your life. Which ones do you remember better, those who hurt you or those who gave you joy? By the way you answer you can get another insight into how your true "self" seems to be programmed.

Ignorance as a Choice

In general, people don't like "good" advice. Why? If it could help them to live better, why aren't they eager to follow it?

Possible reason #1:They are not willing to make the effort ("It sounds too difficult").

Possible reason # 2:They don't believe it is possible ("Why try?").

Possible reason #3:They prefer to complain rather than improve their situation ("This is the way it is").

Result? They stay where they are because they knowingly ignore the possibility of a better life.

Conformism

You have been told, not only in words but in many other ways, that you need to "conform" in order to fit in, in order to be accepted by society. It is neither totally nor necessarily true. Although you must be flexible because an excessive rigidity of opinions and behaviors is always counterproductive, at the same time you have the right to be "yourself" and not a copy of anybody else. A conformist is always a follower, never a leader. Examine your usual attitude and find out what your natural tendency is. Little adjustments here and there are usually possible.

Champion

When you see a sports champion perform, you admire his or her skill and believe they are exceptional human beings who are able to do things that almost no one else is capable of doing. But when you see the perfection of their action you tend to forget that reaching such proficiency took great commitment, practice, self-confidence, trust, sacrifice. And, most of all, they never gave up! You, too, although you might never become an Olympic medal winner (or be awarded the Nobel Prize or an Oscar), you can still give the best of yourself and reach higher goals. Nothing really "good" is ever achieved without working at it in earnest.

Eat or Jump

An Italian proverb says, "Either you eat this soup or you jump out of the window." In Italian it rhymes (soup=minestra, window=finestra), but it doesn't really matter. What matters is the meaning, as strange as it might sound. It signifies that, in life, either you accept what is in front of you, your actual situation, or you go on and ruin your life, in whatever way you choose. What "is" right now, cannot be avoided. What you are facing in this precise moment must be accepted and dealt with. If you refuse to do it, if you nurse the hope that you can get away or have someone else do it for you, you are fooling yourself. It won't work!

Tyres and Attitudes

When you have a flat tyre you must stop your car and change it, unless you decide to give up driving and remain where you are. But this is unthinkable because it is illogical, right? Well, not so much. It is exactly what you do when you have a bad attitude and expect to proceed with your life feeling happy and fulfilled. A bad attitude is reflected in a "mirror", i.e. the world around you, and it can only give back the image that you project on it. Therefore, if you want to be happy, stop frowning and smile. Do you want to feel fulfilled? Stop complaining and criticizing and do what you have to do with joy and dedication. It is as simple as that. The good news is that... it can really be done!

Impossible vs. Possible

Nelson Mandela said that some things seem impossible till they are done. He certainly knew this to be true. What about you? Do you have the tendency to withdraw in front of difficulties or do you have the guts to face them? If you withdraw, you lose the battle without having fought it (as the old saying goes). On the other hand, if you collect enough courage and "dare", you have good chances of ending up as the winner. 

If you say, "No, I don't.", I say, "Why not?".

No Acknowledgment

It is possible that, when you feel disappointed, it is not so much the lack of something that bothers you, but rather the feeling that you are not acknowledged. You have the sensation that those who should be grateful for what you are doing for them, actually are not grateful at all because they simply take you for granted. They accept your generosity, your dedication, your caring as something that is owed to them. Why? Because you have always been generous, dedicated, caring, and they" (whoever "they" may be) have grown accustomed to seeing you always available to comply, always capable of fixing problems, always ready to give whatever is needed. Can something be done? Difficult to say. It all depends on your deepest nature. If you were born a "giver", keep being who you are and ... forget the disappointment.  

Travesty

Our world seems to have lost much of its spontaneity. Most of what appears to be "real", is not. Physical body shapes and facial features are continuously changed by plastic surgery, so the individual you see is not the one who originally was. Similarly, many care so much about what other people think of them that they stop being themselves. They behave according to what is expected of them, not according to who they really are or to what they actually feel. Besides, many facts you see or read about on the media are later discovered to be hoaxes. Therefore... is this a fake world, not to be entirely trusted? To a certain extent, yes!

Butterflies

An unknown wise person said that, if there wasn't change, there wouldn't be butterflies. This is undeniably true. Nevertheless, in the world of men and women, although change is still unavoidable, not always do beautiful human beings emerge from it. According to nature, transformation should imply progress, improvement and, in "nature", it usually does. Not in this multifaceted, unpredictable world of ours, where more often than not the opposite happens. How sad!