A Good Opportunity

Today you will be given many chances to be the person you want to be. Don't miss them. How?

Keep your eyes open (metaphorically) so that you will actually SEE them. Be "aware", i.e. be alert to what is going on around you and respond accordingly.  Behave as you would like others to behave towards you if you were in their situation. A friend is silent? A good opportunity to show your caring. Someone did you wrong and you feel like retaliating? A good opportunity to forgive. You are upset and want to express yourself in a way that you later might regret? A good opportunity to forbear. A dear one is suffering? A good opportunity to show your love. A stranger looks at you? A good opportunity to smile. And so on.....

Thinking of Wanting

As to wealth or success, do people always behave in the right, correct way in order to carry out their plan? Will the achievements obtained in a less than honest way bring true fulfillment? Maybe we should make a distinction between what we really want and what we "think" we want. Some may still believe that serenity of mind and inner peace are less important than other "gifts" the world (and advertising) continues to lure them with - every single day, hour, minute of their lives.

Chained!

Not being able to release the past is like allowing an iron ball to be tied to your ankle and accepting to keep it there. Are you okay with having to drag it wherever you go? Do you enjoy the stress you experience because of the extra weight? What about the blisters that the friction of the chain around your ankle causes you? Oh, well! Most probably you are not even aware of such iron ball. You just go on living your life - complaining about the "heavy stuff" you have to face daily, about your upsets, your dis-eases and you never wonder if another possibility exists. Which one? To simply become AWARE, have the courage to look at yourself in the eye (mirror work?) and recognize your addiction. Addiction to what?  To... feeling a victim, enjoying being pitied, remembering the wrongs done to you. In a word, addiction to twisting the knife in the wound, over and over again! Is this an acceptable way of living or would it be worthwhile to try removing the chain? It might take a little time, some work and a certain amount of effort. The decision, as usual, is your.

Things Happen

You are disappointed when you don't achieve the results you wished for: things don't turn out "right", people behave "wrongly" etc... Can you avoid any of this? Hardly. Things happen they way they do, people are the way they are and you have to face different kinds of challenges on a daily basis.

Being discouraged implies a different situation. You don't know how to face the challenge. Maybe you don't feel like doing it, maybe you don't trust yourself enough, you wonder if it's worth it to make the effort. And this is dangerous, because - by accepting it - you put yourself on the direct route towards depression, i.e. feeling that such kind of life isn't what you want, feeling a victim. Is this what you want? 

21/12/2012!

It’s here, at last! So many prophesies have been cast, so many books have been written, so many lectures have been given on this topic, the Winter Solstice 2012. What can we believe about the forecast of “Doomsday” (one of the many interpretations of the end of the Mayan Calendar)? I have always found this subject interesting and I believe that everybody should be aware of it because it actually concerns us all, mankind and life on the planet in general. It is a topic that should be looked at with eyes wide open, with an alert mind, a little logic, some intuition and a deep feeling.

 No one can deny that great changes have being taking place for quite some time and – it’s evident – at a greater speed than before. Such changes are happening all over the world and concern the physical/material level as well as the spiritual/psychological one. We keep on hearing about floods and earthquakes more often than in previous years, climate and temperature are behaving in a most unusual way. Many things seem to have lost their balance.

 The minds of too many human beings are totally immersed in a technological world that separates them more and more from reality, from positive feelings, from proper interaction. Furthermore, on an almost daily basis do we hear about scandals concerning corruption, betrayals, pedophilia, frauds, larceny and torture, shootings… Yes, yes, all these crimes have always existed. But, now, they seem to have become a daily news here, there and everywhere.

 Mankind is unhappy, dissatisfied, more aggressive than ever and the result is a dreadful turmoil that shakes the world from its foundations. Einstein said that the Earth’s axis will tilt and some remarkable consequences might be felt. Well, no one is considered a “prophet” here and now, and most dismiss such considerations as idle. “Doomsday”? Hard to say if it will or if won’t happen. TODAY is 21/12/2012 and, if you are reading these lines, it means that – at least up to this very moment – we are still alive, the world still exists and it has evidently not come to an end. But, probably, this is not even the really important point. I am deeply convinced  that mankind has reached a stage in its existence where self-examination and self-assessment are of paramount importance. We must all find out what our true values are, what our true motivations are, what “life” means to us, what aspirations we are sheltering in our hearts, what we are willing to “do”. No one can afford to move forward with their eyes metaphorically closed. “Awareness” is the new word/motto to which every human being should be encouraged to found his or her life upon. We need a huge leap into a new perspective, into a new way of perceiving reality, into a novel understanding of the real place each of us has in the economy of the Universe. Time has come to make meaningful changes. And we must do it, NOW! The survival of the world is, literally, in our hands.

Unexpected Gifts

Have you ever been pleasantly surprised, receiving what you had stopped hoping for? Or what you would have never expected to be given? A good news? A reassuring medical report? A positive answer to a request? A smile or a kind word from someone you thought did not like you? An unexpected gift? A helpful feedback? A happy ending to....? (Fill in the blank).

It doesn't matter how big or small the surprise is. It is always a gift that you should acknowledge and consciously be grateful for. Miracles happen every day, they only need your willingness to recognize them and... feel joy.

Don't Despair!

A well-spent today makes you trust that there will be a good tomorrow. But if, at the end of the day, you regret having said or done certain things, if you feel you have lacked compassion or missed a chance to do good, then you might be worried about facing another day. But...don't despair! Each day is a new beginning, a birth to new experiences and possibilities, if you only make up your mind to grasp the opportunity, to make the leap, to start re-creating your life. It is never too late to decide otherwise, to make a change -  no matter how small. Small changes lead to great transformations, any decision defines your possible new destination.

Today

Take a moment to think about how you are living each day. Check your usual attitude, your behavior, your way of dealing with yourself and with others. Does what you "do" make you feel satisfied, contented, fulfilled? Can you honestly say that you are living "well", i.e. according to your principles and convictions? If this is the case, enjoy your life and don't worry about tomorrow. As the saying goes, "Tomorrow will take care of itself". If you have any doubt, if you think you could do or be better, go ahead! It is always up to you. The decision is always yours. You always have a choice.

Knowing What One Wants

Is it true that each of us has an interior voice that knows what we want? Some believe we do. And you? Do you believe that such voice exists and, if you do, can you actually hear it? On a superficial level, everybody thinks they know what they want from life, what they wish to obtain in different fields such as love, success, wealth etc.. Admitting that they really "know", what do they "do" to achieve their goals? As to love, for example, can they detect which relationship is best for them, or do they often plunge themselves into situations that will clearly lead them towards disappointment?

Need for Reassurance

Doubts, always doubts! 

Mirror, mirror on the wall.... We want to be told that we are the most beautiful, the smartest, the most admired of all. We have this irresistible desire to be "the most", to be told that we are the best in order to feel reassured on the fact that we count, that we are important, that the world wouldn't be the same without us. And, in fact, it wouldn't be the same, because we DO count, we Do have importance, our presence here IS necessary. But not to the extent of making us believe that we are the center of the Universe.

In Front of a Mirror

We spend most of our lives in front of a sort of mirror. We only see ourselves, we are totally self-engrossed, we can't help thinking of ourselves...all the time. Peruvian-American author Carlos Castaneda said: "You take yourself too seriously." Is this what we really do? Why? Our human nature leads us towards self-preservation, towards the acquisition of happiness, towards experiencing pleasure and avoiding pain. All this is right, fair, natural. It's only when we forget the needs of others, or when we expect others to live in order to fulfill our needs that we become "selfish". 

The Denouement of Your Life

In your young age, preparation takes place. You study, make plans, get ready for what you intend to do as an adult. Next, i.e. most of your life, you work, raise a family, face challenges and solve them. You experience. In the following stage you might feel the need to withdraw from it all. You need some time alone, possibly doing nothing, just “being”, just “allowing” whatever comes up from the  deepest part of our own self. You are in the “cocoon” state! You elaborate all the previous experiences, endeavor to mold them into something new. Finally, you hopefully succeed in realizing who you really are, who you want to be and what you want to achieve that really matters. This is the time for discovery. You turn into a “butterfly”!

Black Top or Red Shirt?

You “do” have a choice. In each and every instant of your day, you are faced with different possibilities: wear the black top or the red shirt, eat meat or fish,  listen to a friend or ignore him/her, answer with a kind word or with a rude one, believe you are a winner or a loser. Most of what you are surrounded by (environment, situations, people) is always trying to make you believe that the only choice you have is to go with the flow, to do what others do, to accept what others tell you to do. This is what “advertising” does. “They” endeavor to convince you that the only way to live better is to buy their product, to believe what they say, to trust their promises. You need to remove the blindfold that is shrouding the perception of your true freedom to choose what you really want to do with yourself and with your life.

What a Waste!

Are you ever really satisfied? Think for a moment of something you wanted badly. Then you got it.  What then? For how long were you happy with it? How long did your gratitude last? Did you truly feel any gratitude at all?

It seems that nowadays having our real needs met is not sufficient to make us relax and enjoy life. We are constantly led to feel dissatisfied, to nurse the desire for more, always more, to wish to reach what seems to be always beyond our grasp. Why? Because a new "basic need" is being instilled in us daily, i.e. the need to overlook what is in front of us in order to cherish a mirage that will never become a reality (the perfect body, the strongest  muscles, the huge bank account, the forever adoring partner....) How sad. What a waste of time. What a waste of life.

"With A Smile"

We often prepare ourselves, make plans, do all that needs to be done in order to achieve a certain result. But then something - totally unforeseen - happens and things take a different course. How to deal with the disappointment? Probably "with a smile". There is very little we can do in front of situations that are beyond our control. Accepting willingly what we cannot avoid makes life easier (if not happier). Amen.

P.S. This was the advice that Socrates' jailer gave the Greek philosopher while handing him the poison he had been condemned to drink. Difficult to accept it "with a smile"? It seems that Socrates did. After all... wasn't he one of the wisest men who ever lived?

The Acrobat's Achievements

I am still wondering if it's really possible to overcome our limits but, as usual, finding a "final answer" is not easy. If you look at a result that you were not able to achieve to the extent you wanted, you have to admit that - in spite of your good will and effort - not everything is possible. On the other hand, if you think of a circus acrobat who is able to carry out unbelievable performances, you start doubting again, “Is it the outside world or is it me”? The acrobat reaches outstanding results with great patience, commitment, sacrifice, trust. Most of all, he believes in himself, in his skill, in his capability to achieve the goal. He never gives up, he never loses sight of his target, he never loses faith in the goodness of his endeavor. He knows that his effort is worthwhile and that it will yield its fruit in due time. How do you feel about yourself? How easily can you be disappointed, defeated by a failure? You often feel you are struggling against forces that are beyond your power. But this may not be true.

You Need to "Experience"

In your life, you need to “experience”, to go through all the necessary steps to reach the outcome, to achieve your goal, to arrive where you are planning to go. If you are denied the trip, reaching your destination will not be rewarding enough. Therefore, if today is a mixture of joy and sorrow, excitement and boredom, health and pain, let accept it as a complete, creative palette of feelings that allows you to fully savor the condition we call Life. Each "color", each element that is part of your day will give you reason for growth, progress, advancement on your path.

Do You Really Want to "Know"?

Everybody would love to have an always pleasant life, each of us longs for easy times, with no struggle and certainty regarding outcomes. But let's think for a moment: were we sure of the outcome, were life to serve us our wishes on a silver tray, would we still feel enthusiastic and hopeful about starting a new day? If you are reading a thriller or watching an exciting movie, how would you feel is someone comes along and tells you how the story ends? Wouldn't you feel disappointed? Wouldn't you think that you have been deprived of the actual experience you were entitled to? 

Stop Resisting Change

You see change all around you, in nature, in things, in situations, in people. You know it is inevitable. What about “you”? How willing are YOU to accept change when it is necessary? Don't you usually tend to resist the idea of changing something in your life because you are afraid of making a mistake? You think of all the possible outcomes and, as you cannot be certain of a definitely positive result, you prefer to remain where you are rather then risk regretting your choice later. In so doing, you stay put in a rut, stuck in a situation which, although not the best, is at least a familiar challenge to deal with. But often, when faced by new happenings that defy you, a different kind of choice is required, if you want to progress on your path. Here is the pattern:

* You complain about something you are not happy with.

* You think, you reflect upon the problem, and a possible solution starts to materialize in your mind.

* Once you make the choice, you can relax and start thinking about new possibilities and opportunities.

How does it sound? Are you willing to take this idea into consideration?

Is Peace "Really" Important?

Superficial people, who don’t reflect on the issue, believe that there are plenty of things more important than “peace”. They think that peace is a consequence of achieving what they value most: health, wealth, beauty, success, fame, power, romantic love etc… They believe that, having obtained one or several of them, peace and happiness will automatically manifest. They think of happiness as the fulfillment of their desires. But no one can say: “I am a powerful (famous, rich etc.) person” and be automatically happy. Many problems and responsibilities, in fact, are connected to any way of "being". Human beings seem unable to just live in the moment and enjoy the gifts they have been given. Examine yourself and see what your situation is.

Dis-satisfaction

Women who are already beautiful are never satisfied with their looks. If you have good health, you probably take it for granted and don’t pay too much attention to it. One who is rich either tries to increase his capital or is afraid of losing it. Some believe that love will make them happy, forever, only to discover that nothing and no one can make them “feel” more serene. It is up to you to create in yourself a state of mind receptive to calm and tranquility. Try to stop  worrying, fretting, getting upset, expecting… A simple act of acceptance of what you presently have is the most secure way to find peace in your heart.

Opportunities

The definition of "opportunity" is a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something, to attain a goal. Synonyms are "chance" and "possibility". Beside the usual application of this word to job, career, making money etc., can also the circumstances in your life be tools that help you learn and grow? How do you see the situations you are challenged by every day? Dealing with a grumpy face? Being overworked and feeling resentful? Having a nice conversation with a friend? Enjoying a delicious dinner? Yes, you love the latter but you loathe the former. But dealing with unpleasant situations can teach you much more then having things go your way. Why? Because when things go your way you don't feel the need to improve yourself. When you have to deal with what you don't like,  though, you have the choice between reacting negatively or deciding to learn how to modify your perspective. In the long run, such a change will bring more serenity and happiness in your life.

A Short Poem

Years ago I wrote this short poem:

Looking for Peace in a World at War

You can’t say you have found peace

Only because all weapons are silent, here.

True peace can be solely created

And cultivated at a deeper level,

In each person’s heart.

Therefore…. also in yours!

Isn't this valid today, too? Besides, nothing seems to be really "silent", nowadays. Rifles are shooting, missiles are hitting, bombs are exploding, storms are raging, people are fighting...

Examine Your "Stuff"

When I began to seriously  examine some of the ways, attitudes and behaviors I used to have in total UN-awareness, a lot of hidden “stuff” started coming up to the surface of my consciousness. Only when you become aware of what is going on inside of you, can you start making changes, if you think you need to, and choose to do so. This goes for any trait of your character and behavior you might have not paid enough attention to. It’s all to your own benefit! But…Who knows? Also others might feel encouraged to follow your example.

An Underestimated Virtue

What do you think of patience? If you are one of the few who can give whatever is going on in your life all the time it needs to develop properly - no matter how long it takes - you are a lucky person indeed. Most people wish they could achieve success overnight, obtain what they desire in a short time. Unfortunately, things don’t usually go this way, and the result is disappointment, frustration, sometimes even depression.

A well-known joke tells of a man who was praying, saying, “Dear God, please…please, give me patience. But I WANT IT NOW!!!”

Does it ring a bell?

“No great thing is created suddenly. There must be time. Give your best and always be kind.” (Epictetus, Greek philosopher)

The Answer

The previous question was: Can you do something about your mood swings? I believe you can. Your usual ways seem not to be working. You try to ignore the feeling or you resist it. You might try to replace it with something else. Do you succeed? Hardly. Could a possible way be “acceptance”? You acknowledge the feeling of sadness, of dissatisfaction, without identifying with it: this is the trick. Accept that it is there BUT, rather than saying “I AM depressed”, say “Right now I am experiencing this feeling of depression.” Then add: “But it will pass.” Magic words? Not really, but they might help, provided you persist in re-programming  your belief in your power to change “stuff” (thoughts, convictions, pre-conceived ideas, feelings…), which – believe it or not – you actually possess.

First Happy, Then Depressed?

Sometimes your mood suddenly swings from one side to the other. You are happy, everything seems to be going your way for days then - often with no apparent reasons - you start feeling not so good, sadness creeps in, you experience a kind of dissatisfaction, a sort of "lack" (you usually don't even know of "what"). Why does this happen? Hard to say. You only know that it's highly distressing, it makes you feel out of control of your feelings - which is not a pleasant realization. Can you do something? Think it over. We'll talk about it next.

Imposition

You tend to believe that your behavior is always right. It usually is, but not "always". Ask yourself if you ever try to shape up the lives of those who are close to you, of those who depend on you. If you find that you are taking advantage of your position to impose your will, STOP! Everyone has the right to make their own choices, even if they are in contrast with yours. Remind yourself that it’s their own life, not yours. As “you” are free to choose, so are “they ”!

Still On "Fear"

If you carefully examine each characteristic of the human behavior, including yours, you will find out that fear is the real "engine" that creates an imaginary world in front of your eyes. In order to set yourself free, you need first to accept your fears. Say: “Yes, it is true. I am afraid”. Only then will you start to realize the deception you created to grant yourself a fictitious  security blanket. You will then understand that you don’t need to be jealous in order to keep love because jealousy is not a good "helper", that you don’t need to wear yourself out to earn more money when you realize that all that your dear ones want is your time, affection and availability. Recognize now  the lie you founded your life upon and dare to admit your weaknesses. Everybody else is scared, just like you! 

Fear Is The Spring

Fear is possibly the spring behind most of your actions. It determines your attitudes because it conditions your mind. The way you act is its direct consequence. Here are three scenarios to reflect upon.

1.  You are the jealous type and  justify your jealousy by making it appear as a characteristic or a consequence of love. Is it not rather the fear of losing your beloved?  Or the awareness that, if you are left alone, you will feel impoverished, inadequate to pursue your path?

2.   You are too sure of yourself and tend to behave like a sort of dictator. Are you not  afraid of not being respected enough by others if you show your true nature, your doubts and weaknesses?

3.   If, instead, you are too shy and easily influenced and manipulated by others, it could be that the fear of being neglected or ignored makes you accept everything, even abuse, just to be accepted.

Add other possible scenarios of your own. You might get interesting and useful insights.

A Dull Existence

How sad it is to see so many lives being wasted…perhaps even your own! The days drag along, one after the other, always the same, with no excitement, and you do not realize the many opportunities  given to you to live fully, to understand the meaning of each instant – because you take everything for granted. You don’t make any effort to see beyond the appearance, to discover what else can be done with what you have.

Be brave! Dare to raise your eyes from the ground (while paying attention to your step!), look up and let your sight wonder freely through infinite possibilities! 

A Quiet, Desperate Life?

Sometimes, in the evening, you are glad that another day is over: but you don’t feel the satisfaction of the people who  made the best of their time, who enjoyed each instant as something magnificent and unique. You release your day, you discharge it  as a burden, without thinking that it will never come back.  You   worry about tomorrow, but forget to appreciate today. Thoreau talked about “… a life of quiet desperation” (i.e. dull, lazy resignation).

Is this the way you want to live?

Releasing Control

Let us talk again about “control”. Why? Because it’s one of the strongest motivations behind human behavior. Here is one of its facets: Accept the idea that you have absolutely no control over some things and/or situations. Ask yourself if you ever experienced such "powerlessness".  If you did, be aware that the only thing you have control over is your reaction to whatever happens. You might disagree and believe that sometimes the stimuli are too strong, that you can’t possibly react differently. Nevertheless, in order to live better and re-create your life, the need for control over others must be released. You can do it because, in spite of what you may have believed up to now, 
1. there is always a choice
2. the choice is always yours 
3. and…  you always have a choice!

Stay Alert

A very short reminder:

Being aware means not only to realize what is going on and pay attention to what you are doing right now. It also means to be watchful, vigilant, always on the look out. You don't "worry" about what might happen, but you are "ready" for it.
When you are not focused and alert, you are not living. What about that?

Don't Miss the Sunrise

When you decide to learn something new, focus all your attention on the new notions in order to understand, assimilate and make them your own. When they become part of your personal knowledge, they became part of you, thus contributing to your transformation into a more complete human being. Personal growth brings you closer to real progress, to a better understanding of yourself and others. The sun rises and sets, good opportunities show up and disappear, leaving you with a great sorrow, with the regret of having been unable to grasp them because you have not been alert enough. You were sleeping when dawn broke in the eastern sky and you missed a wonderful sight. Tomorrow, maybe, you shall not have another opportunity to enjoy a similar experience. 

Day After Day...

The way you behaved yesterday brought you “where” you are right now, made you “what” you are right now. Ask yourself: Am I happy with where I am? Am I satisfied with the way I am? If you stop to ponder this issue for an instant, you realize that whatever you are doing this very moment and whatever you will be doing in a minute are going to create consequences that will shape your future life. And what determines your behavior? YOUR  MIND! Your thoughts  are, literally, the ingredients with which the “dish” of your life is prepared. Every now and then you may tend to minimize the importance of a negative thought. Don’t! Every thought is a seed that, if nursed, will yield the logical result. Each action implies a consequence. Each thought first generates the words you utter, then the actions you perform. Therefore your thoughts and, consequently, your deeds create the kind of life you live, day after day, for good.

Move Over There!

Disappointment is a very common feeling that is experienced by all, more often than not. You try, and try….But you don’t get it! You keep on trying, but you don’t succeed! So what? Isn’t it human to just “get the message” and give up? Absolutely! It’s the right choice for you –  if you believe that resignation is an acceptable response. If you don’t believe it, you will make a different choice, i.e. you will keep on trying, possibly in another way, at another time, maybe with a different attitude. Who knows what prevented you from achieving your goal? Sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. If you keep standing here, the only road you see is the one in front of your eyes. But if you decide to stand over there, maybe a new road will show up. It goes in the same direction, it only follows a different path.

Erase!

When you are troubled by a worrisome thought, try this. See with your mind’s eyes the word that symbolizes your worry (future, money, relationships etc.) in big bold letters. Then, with an imaginary eraser, slowly “erase” it. Fill the empty space with a word that represents the opposite (now, wealth, love etc.). If you try this simple exercise often, expect positive results. A laughable quick fix?  Maybe. But… why not try it? You might be pleasantly surprised. No positive endeavor is ever lost.

Need Something New?

It’s fun to watch old sit-coms on TV. But then, at a certain point, you get fed up. Doesn’t something similar happen in life? In your life, too? Do you sometimes feel you are stuck in a rut? Doing the same thing? At the same time and/or place? In the same way? If this is the case, all you need is CHANGE. Don’t stop watching TV, if you enjoy it, just change the channel. Don’t give up doing what you think is good for you, just change “how” you do it. You may also try something totally new…Face a challenge (It doesn’t matter how small). Be brave! I’ve decided to start learning a new foreign language. So far, I don’t need it but…it certainly "is" fun!

The Enclosure

A pretty canary had been living in a small cage for a long time, so it was used to taking short flights around its enclosure. One day it was transferred into a much wider cage but, strangely enough, the canary still kept taking short flights. It never realized that the bars were not there any more. Why? Evidently it kept accepting limits that did not exist. It did not try to (and, sadly, it never will) step “beyond”. Do YOU do the same? Do you accept limits that you - yourself - have created?  Do you resign yourself to live within the boundaries that others have put all around you? Do you ever wonder if these confines are illusory and/or if they can be overcome?

Like "Mona Lisa"

Think of “Mona Lisa”, Leonardo da Vinci’s universally known masterpiece. If you look at the painting, you are mesmerized not so much by the young woman’s beauty and  enigmatic smile (which oceans of ink have been used to write about) but mainly by the mysterious fascination that the whole picture exercises on the mind of onlookers. I would call this “perfection” because, as any true masterpiece – be it a painting, a statue, a symphony, a building, a poem, a piece of prose etc. – it has a universal meaning. The artist was able to express a deep feeling that any human being can experience. Are you willing to accept the idea that the “stuff” you are made of is just what - and all that - you need in order to express your potential, in order to  make you the best you can be?

There Is A Screen Around You

You might have wondered why, given a particular stimulus, the possible reactions to it are endless, as almost infinite are the programs that might have been activated in the brain. From the moment you are born, in fact, your mind undergoes a never ending absorption of information whose aim is to educate it, molding it in agreement with the accepted values of whatever society you live in. This information, that you get from different but equally powerful sources such as school, family, religion and social environment, build a sort of screen around your brain. Thus, you find yourself fully conditioned, programmed to give precise answers to particular stimuli. The principles your parents instilled in you, the notions your teachers taught you, the way others behave, even an image seen or a word heard by chance, have contributed to enrich your mental “computer”. Now it’s up to you to decide what is worth keeping and what is not.

Thinking versus Being

Your brain can't help thinking, as this is its nature. But you are not your brain. This means that your true nature transcends thought, it is beyond any expressions on either a physical or mental level. Therefore the world created by your emotional thoughts is not the real world. Emotional thought is unable to perceive the essence of any element of creation. This means that you don’t see what actually “is” but only what you “believe” it is, you perceive it through your personal interpretation. When you look at a tree, you don't simply acknowledge its shape and colors. Your brain starts immediately to reason about the characteristics of this tree. It “thinks” about it. Therefore the deep essence of such experience is almost totally lost. By judging what surrounds you - as this is just what thinking is - you label situations, things and people and thus create a kind of cocoon where you happily live without being able to see beyond your prejudices and pre-conceived ideas.

Carpets and Life

As nothing in life happens by chance, all actions, encounters, relationships, thoughts or deeds are like the threads of a carpet being woven. The threads proceed for some time in a straight line, then they cross other threads and then others, thus creating a perfectly shaped and balanced pattern, following the weaver's directives. Do you do the same? Hardly. The various “points” (happenings) in your life definitely “do” cross other people’s, but how much awareness do you have in actually carrying out the “crossings”? Is your behavior always balanced, suitable, sensible? Do you know what to think, say and do when you are interacting with your human fellows? As usual, "awareness", i.e. mindfulness, is the key to a better life.

Make the Trip

“Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination”, is a well known saying.  It means that you should start reviewing what happiness means for you. Detect if, deep inside, you still believe that – in order to be happy – you need to have more “stuff”. But your significance as a human being does not depend on how much you own, or even on how much you know. Owning material and/or non-material things is desirable but it’s certainly not enough. What is important is what makes you act in a certain way (mainly your values and motivations). What you actually “do” in life is what yields results, for yourself and for others. Be careful, therefore, because you are literally "re-creating" your life moment by moment. Life is a "trip" and you are the only one who chooses how to travel. And according to your choice, you will lead a more or a less serene existence.

Yes, You Can!

Wake up from your dream of mediocrity. You can attain excellence when you dare to go a little further, when you become aware of your own abilities and  listen to your intuition, the voice of your true self which tells you: “Try, go on, endeavor, you can do it!” There are many goals you can aspire to: material, moral or spiritual, according to your nature and to your present needs. Mental narrowness, i.e. the incapability to see beyond your own nose, or the outright rejection of any idea that appears to be new or different, that seems to defy traditional beliefs, is a characteristic of the ignorant person. “Ignorance" does not only mean "not knowing", it mainly means a voluntary negation of mankind's capability to overcome its limits.  If all athletes believed that, records would have never been broken. Only when you are fully aware that you are able to do “it” (whatever “it” is), shall you be able to soar – like a majestic eagle - above mediocrity. You only need to trust your skills a little more and keep repeating to yourself: “I can”!

Step Out!

You prefer to remain quietly resting in your comfortable lifestyle, rather than wondering about what can be found around the corner. Therefore, you continue to be the way you are, the way you have always been,without making any substantial progress. When this is your choice (and it's OK, it is "your choice and you have a right to it), you behave like the frog who is happy remaining at the bottom of the well. But you can also choose differently. While accepting your actual situation, you may also be willing to ask yourself questions and wonder what can be found “beyond”. Reflecting upon what you have always done, you may start feeling the desire to move further, to improve your achievements. You may wonder if it is possible to reach a higher goal. And... yes, it is!

Curiosity

I liked these words spoken by a scientist in an interesting documentary.

“We possess a natural curiosity  of the world around us. We want to know how and why things are the way they are. Our curiosity is beneficial, it is important to ask why an event happened and what caused it.

Our curiosity gives us the ability to look beyond the present moment. From that we have evolved an urge to look for causes. In fact, we can’t conceive something that doesn’t have a cause.”

Just sharing! And something to think about.

Missing Out

When you go for a walk in the country, are you able to enjoy what you are doing, “completely”? Do you look around drinking in the beauty of the nature that surrounds you, do you listen to the birds singing, do you enjoy the sun and the fresh air? Or do you rather move along thinking of something else? Your work, your relationship, your affairs? While you are doing so, the pleasure of the stroll is partially lost – although you are unaware of it. The experience is not being totally lived because you are not “present”. You are somewhere else, wherever your thoughts are taking you. This happens every time you do something while your mind is wandering elsewhere. Listening to music while reading a book? Talking on the phone while following a TV program? Thinking about the answer you are going to give while a friend is talking to you? All lost experiences. Is it so bad? It’s certainly not fatal, but you definitely miss out on living “fully”.

Dream and Believe

I saw the picture of two streets that were directly connected. One was called “Dream St.”, the other “Believe St.”.  They tell us all, and you, too, that – in order to accomplish what you want to achieve – you must first have a dream and then act upon it. Once you have your plan all properly arranged and start working toward your goal, another “tool” is necessary: belief in the goodness of your goal and trust in your capability of reaching it.  Belief and trust must always go together. They are a whole. Now look at what you have actually done with your life, examine what you have achieved so far. Then try to understand where you are going “right now”.

Turn the doorknob

You often try to find your way out in many different ways. You endeavor to unlock the door and don't see that it is already open. If you can convince yourself that all you need to do is to just turn the knob, you will have the proof that the door had never been locked. It is enough for you to confidently say either "yes" or "no", "I want", "I can", to acknowledge your potential to be free. When you do this, your creative spirit will soar above the cage of conventions and conditionings. It will pass through them  as if they were fog dissolving in the sun of knowledge, of awareness and of truth. Make the choice: decide to understand that you are not imprisoned. If you believe and “dare”, you shall see the portal of liberation and self-determination fling open in front of your very eyes.

Choose Peace!

If you reflect for a moment, you realize that the world lacks “peace” because it is in a constant state of “war”. Not only material wars which, unfortunately, DO exist nowadays, as they have always existed. Here I am mainly referring to the state of the spirit, of everybody’s spirit. What is needed? Forgiveness. Forgiving others (and yourself) for mistakes that sometimes are “real”, other times are just imaginary, is an indispensable step towards peace of mind. If you allow and keep nursing blame and resentment in your heart, your spirit will always be “at war”. You will constantly live with an inner storm that creates imbalance in every atom of your “self”. Such imbalance entails a double negative consequence: it endangers both your mind and your body. That’s why you experience unhappiness and disease.

Accept and... Move on

It may seem that, in some circumstances, certain reactions are the only possible answer, that is to accept negative feelings and, consequently, negative counter-actions. It is only natural and you should not ignore, reject them or feel guilty about them. But you must also  become aware of the fact that you can overcome them. When you truly believe this, you  make a leap towards a future of peace that you, yourself, can create. You only need to know how and where to “lead” your thoughts. No one can do it for you. No one can even just help you. Peace and serenity can only be obtained as your own, personal creation. Never forget that you are the "master" of your mind, no matter if the challenges you face might suggest otherwise. You are "in charge", always!

Get Loose!

It cannot be denied that human beings live in a state of  great conditioning, which is the way behavioral habits are maintained on all levels of the individual living. People find themselves in a sort of cell and are so well accustomed to such state of being that they don't even think about the possibility of becoming the free masters of their own choices. At a certain point someone may wake up - maybe it's "you" who realize you are entangled in a sort of cobweb. So you start thinking about getting loose, you suffer for all the constrictions you are undergoing and you try to find the strength to free yourself from the bars of your imaginary prison. The good news is that such bars are not real, they are just a psychological and intellectual creation which can continue to exist only as long as your acceptance gives them life. The moment you realize that they are imaginary, they disappear.

A Cunning Snare

Many people seem to believe that human beings, when they are born, are empty containers which need to be gradually filled up. You, too, have probably been taught such idea. Therefore you often act without using your power of rational thinking. Such teaching has been carried out by education and by all the conditionings you have continuously endured by society and environment. Many are the injunctions given you to do specific things only because the current fashion, politeness or the accepted customs require such behavior. You are caged, imprisoned in a snare of do and don’t. Such trap was created by other human beings who gave themselves the right to decide, to establish certain rules and who were then smart enough to make others believe and obey them. As usual, “control” is the word!

Times Have Changed

A tiny poem of mine.

   

                                                                          You say that times have changed

  in order to j                                                         to justify dangerous fashions

                                                                    and behaviors, in order to find an excuse       

                                                                          for some of your own attitudes

                                                                             that  you are not proud of.

                                                                    But it’s the people who decide to change.

                                                                        It’s you who accept to be changed.

                                                                              For better and for worse. 

A Wrong Idea About Love

The idea you have of love is an obstacle to your happiness. How can this be? Simply because you believe that “love” means either a total donation of oneself to the beloved or being the object of someone else’s devotion – preferably both. Is this possible? Absolutely…. Provided you don’t stop here! Love is certainly a mutual donation of affection, a communion of souls. The problem arises when you are convinced that without “this” kind of love you cannot be happy. Romantic love is wonderful, but totally insufficient to provide you with eternal bliss. Why? Because it is transient. How many people are able to keep that wonderful feeling of mutual devotion, without judgment nor resentment, throughout their entire lives? Love should be above all considerations, because it reflects the awareness of our being “one”. No “you and me”, no “me and the others”, no “I am right and you are wrong”, no “You did this to me” etc… In true love there can only be total acceptance of the other as a part, an aspect of one’s self.

First Cry, Then Laugh

 You believe you are a compassionate person and you probably are. When you hear about a sad happening, you wish you could help. Every now and then you feel really “good” and would like to succor every needy person. You see the misery, the suffering, the wars that are afflicting the world and feel a flow of love and compassion spring out of your heart. You want to run out there and give your help, your love to all. But, after watching the news for a while, you change the channel and everything is forgotten. It exists neither in your mind nor in your heart any more. What made you sad disappeared and now you are enjoying the latest pop song or laughing at your favorite comedian’s jokes. Your view of the world has changed in a whim. This is how fickle the human nature is. Nothing wrong with it. It just is. But, maybe, it could be worth thinking about it, every now and then.

Like A Turtle

If you look at a turtle, you see it moving away, slowly, according to its nature, without worrying about other, faster creatures. The turtle “knows” it is a turtle and behaves as such. It trusts its own nature and acts accordingly. What about you? When you have a goal, do you always move toward it without allowing doubts to creep in? Do you believe in your capability to cut the arrival line? Trust and Awareness are cardinal points in the pursuit of success. You must trust who you are, believe in your skills and abilities and feel deep within you that what you already have and who you are is good enough for you to proceed successfully on your chosen path. If the turtle ever worried about the speed of others and didn’t trust its own, it wouldn’t arrive at destination. If you believe that you are not “good (i.e. smart, young, rich, thin, beautiful, handsome, educated etc…) enough” you will probably fail, even if you try hard. When the conditioning is too strong, it cannot be overcome by  a simple wish. Real commitment is necessary.

No Discrimination, Here

Aesop (7th-6th century B.C.) was a Greek fabulist or story teller who said, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” You certainly already know the importance of being patient, understanding, kind and emotionally generous toward others. But you should be so towards everybody, with no distinctions or discrimination. As the sun shines over each individual -  no matter the religion, race, sex, character, behavior, relationship etc..- you, too, must ignore all prejudices that might induce you to see non-existent differences (and judge accordingly!). Every individual is a human being just like yourself. Do you want to get along with everybody else? See him or her as you see yourself. Don’t focus so much on the differences. Rather lead your attention to the similitudes. There are more than you expect. And every act of kindness will not be wasted because, beside pleasing another, it it will make you "feel" better about yourself. And the world will come nearer to being "one" (see John Lennon's song "Imagine").

Rebirth

If you think of winter, you see a “naked” nature, with no flowers, bare tree branches, very little green – if any – all around. Later, you realize that trees and bushes  are coming back to life. A transformation, hardly believable, takes place in what often appears a very short time.  But the preparation for such miracle has taken several months. Thinking about your personal life, can you remember a time when you found yourself totally drained, almost lifeless, with neither spirit nor enthusiasm for anything? Then, if you were able to “let it be”, i.e. no resisting, no rejecting, no judging, just “being”, didn’t you experience a rebirth of creativity, of zest for life? Yes, life can be wonderful indeed, provided you follow one of its most important golden rules, “allow”. But to do this you need a necessary, although nowadays almost forgotten virtue, “patience”.

Webs and Life

Have you ever watched a spider weave its web? If you have, you might have noticed how hard it keeps working for some time, then it takes a rest, then it starts to work again. You might believe that this small insect has found the recipe for wisdom: do what you have to do, take it easy, and give it time. Everything can be achieved when the right moment comes, not before. That’s why… no need to get over worried, panicky or simply impatient. Spiders seem to know how to do their job well – in the right way and with the least effort. But…isn’t this the way animals in general behave? Human beings should pay more attention to their own way of proceeding and possibly learn from more simple, less sophisticated, yet “wiser” inhabitants of this world.

Einstein Said...

Einstein said that wisdom is not the product of schooling, but of the life long attempt to acquire it. Here is a list of well-known quotes that might help:

Life isn’t fair but it’s still good. 

When in doubt, just take the next small step. 

Life is too short to waste time hating or blaming anyone. 

You don’t have to win every argument: agree to disagree. 

Make peace with the past, so it won’t screw up the present. 

Don’t compare your life to others’ lives: you have no idea what their journey is all about. 

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. 

Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. 

Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. 

When it comes to going after what you want in life, don’t take no for an answer. 

No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 

Forgive everyone everything.

Shall we all try to remember them more often and apply them into our lives?

The Cost of "Proving Your Point"

A big problem in this world of ours is the fact that it’s not easy to overcome misunderstandings and disagreements. Why? Because it is only human to always try to  show that you are right, to have it your way, to be “the winner”.  You feel you have to prove your point at all costs. When this does not happen, a splitting takes place between you and another (your partner, a friend, a colleague, a sibling, a neighbor...). Only true love (= understanding and compassion) can heal the situation, can bring peace where there seems to be war. When you succeed in realizing that “no-thing” is as important as your serenity of mind, you will find peace in your heart as well.

Enjoy The Journey

You believe you are fully aware of your life, of how you are living it, but most times you are not.You are so busy in pursuing your goals that sometimes you lose contact with what really is. While focusing on your point of arrival you might miss enjoying the journey. You forget to live moment by moment because you are prone to look back towards the past or stare ahead towards  the future. Do you ever stop to think that neither the past  nor the future “actually” exist? The past is a memory of something long gone and done with, the future is a speculation about something that might occur. What about NOW? Do you pay attention to what is happening this very moment? Are you aware of your feelings, emotions, motivations in this very instant? Try “silence” for a little while. Silence means being “here” now, enjoying the sound of laughter, a shady tree, the noise of the ocean, without thinking of anything else… Just being. And in just “being”, you are living your life to the fullest. In so doing, you acquire the awareness that all is within yourself. The outside world is merely a mirror of your spirit - the only creator or reality.

Look Ahead!

When you are driving your car, do you look more through the windshield or the rear mirror?  Every now and then you might throw a quick glance back, but your eyes are definitely fixed in front of you, aren’t they? In your own life, if from time to time you think of your past years, it is okay. Ad it is also natural for you to find some things that you don’t like, that you regret, that you would like to wipe away, to erase from your life. But, as this is not possible, it’s better for you to choose to accept willingly what has happened and who you have been. But don’t keep remembering, let it be only a fleeting memory, because the past does not exist anymore, only the present is “real”. If you keep thinking of the past, it will only make your life heavier with a useless burden and your proceeding forward will be greatly impaired.

Higher And Higher

Every human being feels the need to do more, to walk further, to achieve higher goals. It is only natural for you to wish to improve your  family and/or work situation, to become a better person. This is because there is an inner push that encourages you to create a goal for yourself, something to do with your life that is really meaningful. You need to express you capabilities and you should go ahead and boldly move forward. But be careful not to lose yourself in your dreams and forget to live your present life to the fullest. Each moment – yes, even this very one – is okay: you already are in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. In order to climb higher you must first start with your feet well set on the ground, whence you’ll eventually start going up, higher and higher, towards your desired goal.

One Path To Happiness

“By the way, what is happiness?”, asks Charlie Brown, the funny, yet philosophical cartoon character. Yes, indeed. What is it? Have you ever wondered and tried to find a suitable answer? You might have come up with a definition of “pleasure”, of “satisfaction”, but these are only temporary feelings. “Happiness” is something else, if it really exists. We wont’ try to define it here, either. But we can start by examining one feeling that certainly deprives human beings of the serenity they need to move towards happiness. Such feeling is called “the need to judge”. Have you ever endeavored to look at reality with “neutral eyes”, i.e. without judging anybody and anything, accepting what you see, what is happening, the way people are –  without wishing to change them? If you try and shake all judgment off, you will feel lighter, as if a heavy burden has fallen off your shoulders. You will experience PEACE. Judging (and often “condemning”) is an awfully hard job to do. You seem to believe that it’s the only way to live your life but, in so doing, you miss seeing one of the paths that can lead you towards the main street called “Happiness”.

Less Separation

Has it ever happened to you to look at people not as passing shadows, but as “real” individuals – the same as you? Although you have never met them, you don’t know their stories, sometime (quite seldom, though!) you feel a sort of connection, an awareness of them being just like you, human beings who are experiencing life, each with their challenges, just as you are. Can this awareness help create a greater understanding, a deeper feeling of “oneness”? Let us hope so. You can’t honestly say that you already feel this kind of oneness with your fellow humans, but trying to see them in a new light, under a different perspective might be a first step. What is the “new light”? You could start by considering them not as clearly separated from you as you usually do. “They” and “I”, with a straight division line in between.The world needs to feel more united, people need to experience fewer selfish feelings of “mine” and more feelings of “ours”. More empathy toward each other should be the next step in everybody’s life.

The Right Answer

Many questions about geography, history, science etc.. can be easily answered by simply going on the Internet.  Even if you ask about who you are and what the purpose of your life is, about how far you should go in trying to make your marriage work or about how you should raise your child or behave toward others, you will find someone ready to give you “the” answer. The problem is that for such topics not “one” answer is suitable for everyone. You feel that the books you read and the inspirational talks you listen to are not providing you with the solution you need. Why? Simply because what others say or write is the answer they found for themselves, according to “who they are”. Are their explanations able to convince you and practically help you? They may or they may not. They can certainly assist you in formulating the problem, they can provide you with theories, but they are unable to give you "your own" answer, the one suitable for you. A teacher can show you the direction, but the actual path towards self-improvement must be found by you, with your own means. No one else can do it for you. The discovery of something “original” is the result of original, personal thought.

Imagine!

Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge. What you “know” for sure is certainly significant, but what your mind can conceive is even more meaningful. Reality “is”. Imagination makes you see what “can be”. If human beings had not used imagination, nothing would have ever changed. Mind - therefore thought - has the power to make you do anything you want. It can keep you down and it can raise you up. So, how come that you keep sitting on the first rung of the ladder of spiritual progress? Possibly you haven’t  even “seen” the ladder, the tool you need to rise, to change, to improve yourself and, consequently, your life. It is easier to remain stuck on the lower level, complaining about a situation you don’t like, an unhealthy relationship, an unfulfilling job, rather than do something about it. Are “you” doing something about what you don’t like in your life? Can you imagine, (= create with your mind) a way of solving whatever is bothering you? 

Lion In A Cage

Sometime you say that you don’t believe you are the way others seem to see you. But usually … “you are”! It's possible that others perceive traits of your character that you are unable of seeing. In reality, you are able of being what you want, although you are usually unaware of it. Think about when you  complain about this and that. Whenever you do it, you admit you are feeling powerless, you see yourself as a victim of the situation. You feel you cannot do anything about it. You feel imprisoned by circumstances, therefore you can’t be who you want to be. Consequently, you are like a lion in a cage. The good news is that, if you try to free yourself, you’ll realize that the cage is not real, it only exists in your imagination. If you endeavor to do a little more that you are used to doing, you’ll see that your potential is much greater than you think. Circumstances can be changed, problems can be solved. All you need in order to carry out this process is to become AWARE, i.e. to start seeing the world and yourself without the dark lenses of conditioning.

Communication Is The key

Have you noticed that people (and you, too) usually prefer to talk rather than listen? One time YOU talk and the others aren’t paying attention, and the next time THEY are talking and your mind is elsewhere. Should we therefore be surprised by the lack of true dialog, of compassion and understanding that seems to be so widely spread nowadays? Most  people appear to be contented (but are they really?) living in their cozy little “cell”, the tiny, self-centered space they have created, where they have no need for true communication. Other times, even if you are actually listening to what someone else is saying, you understand something totally different from what they meant. Their words have a definite meaning for them, which is not what “you” perceive. How is this possible? Words are words and they should have the same meaning for everybody. Yes, they should. But sometimes they don’t. Do you remember that time when you said (or he said), “You got it wrong!” or “It’s not what I meant!”. An improved way to communicate will greatly benefit the whole world. Shall WE start to establish a better “connection” with our interlocutors?