The rest of your life

 Today... Questions galore! How do you want the rest of your life to be? Have you ever really asked yourself such a question? Maybe it’s time you did. Look at your past, quickly, with neither judgment nor regret. Now look at your present. Is it similar to your past? Do you like it? Is there anything you would like to change? And now... ask yourself how you envision your future. Like your past? Like your present? Is there anything you could do to create a future that could be better than the present? Any “adjustments” to make? I know... I know... It’s a lot to think about. But, as your mind is always thinking anyway, can’t you dedicate just a few moments to reflect on something that is of paramount importance? YOUR OWN LIFE?

Is your life a "real" life? (Part 3- End)

   

Unfortunately, analyzing, comparing and judging is what you usually do. You were taught to do so, this is the example you were given, that’s why you cannot do otherwise. The mind, in order to think of something (it can’t help doing it!), not only does it make you miss the experience of fully enjoying the beauty of a flower. It also makes you create real "monsters" in your imagination, absurd fears, poisonous snakes that are just harmless ropes. It’s impossible to say if, in spite of your willpower, you will ever be capable of freeing yourself from this habit of always having to think. It has become a second nature to you but, if you are really willing to do something about it, you can at least start looking at things with "new" eyes, TRYING to see people and situations as they actually are and not as you judge (=imagine) them to be.

Is your life a "real" life? (Part 2)

Sometimes – don’t deny it – you have the feeling that your life is not "real". However you are very much alive.You live intensely, you feel joy and pain, love and resentment, satisfaction and depression…. the whole range of feelings and sensations that make your life fully “felt”. So what? Is it possible that you created a world for yourself that is different from the real one? As in a dream, you undergo experiences which seem to be real but actually are not; you meet people, you see places and things that do not exist in reality. You experience life in such a way that, even when you are awake, you behave as if you were dreaming. Why? (Check in tomorrow for the “answer”, if there can ever be one!

Is your life a "real" life? (Part 1)

Sometimes – don’t deny it – you have the feeling that your life is not "real". However you are very much alive.You live intensely, you feel joy and pain, love and resentment, satisfaction and depression…. the whole range of feelings and sensations that make your life fully “felt”. So what? Is it possible that you created a world for yourself that is different from the real one? As in a dream, you undergo experiences which seem to be real but actually are not; you meet people, you see places and things that do not exist in reality. You experience life in such a way that, even when you are awake, you behave as if you were dreaming. Why? (Check in tomorrow for the “answer”, if there can ever be one!)

Faith yields results

Another side of awareness shows the importance of faith. Faith means believing that you already own what you wish for. It is such a deep, blind trust that allows you to see the goal you are aiming at as if already achieved. Your subconscious mind carries out your mental directions to the letter. Therefore, if all you can do is "hope" or "wish" that a certain event takes place in the future, such an event will forever remain a wish, located in an indefinite future. What to do, then? Clearly state what you want, picture it, visualize it, perceiving even the slightest details, experience the feelings that will accompany the realization of your dream. Try to hold such a dream inside of you, nurse it, keep it alive in every moment as a reality that is already manifest. In due time, it WILL manifest.

What is LOVE?

I believe that LOVE is a topic everybody is interested in. I, myself, have often wondered what romantic love actually is, I mean how it happens, why it happens, and if we have any control over it. My favorite author and mentor, Anthony de Mello, says that what we usually consider love is only dependence, i.e. we need the other to fulfil whatever we feel we are lacking (caring, attention, support, inner strength etc…). Or – the other side of the coin – we have a need to control, to be "in charge", to “own" the other in order to feel powerful. Wow. I won’t say what “I” believe. I am just suggesting here that YOU examine yourself, again, from this perspective. There are so many facets to our personality that it will take a lifetime to check them all (if we ever succeed!). But… isn’t it worth it trying to understand yourself better, in order to re-adjust your life (when and where needed), so as to make it a happier one?

Entanglement

When I go for a walk, I like to listen to music on my IPod. More often than not, when I get ready to put my earphones on, I find that the cord is all tangled up. Sometimes it’s more (a total mess it makes me several minutes to loosen up) other times it’s not too bad. This never fails to make me think. As I “know” for sure that I am always careful with the cord when I put my IPod away, where does this entanglement come from? I can’t also help making a comparison with life. We are “careful” to set our cards right, but we lose the game. We are sure we have behaved well, said the right things, done the right deeds, but the result is the opposite of what we expected. So, what’s going on here? Is there a puppeteer behind the scenes who has fun messing everything up? Or is it US who ONLY believe we are doing everything right, while WE are the ones who, unknowingly, do the “messing up” up?

Ride your horse!

Saying that it is necessary for you to become aware of the absurdity of your fears means that you are the creator of your own misfortune.Through your thoughts, beliefs, your negatively oriented programming, you attract the circumstances that will give life to what you expect. If your mind always pictures failure, if your attitude is the one of a victim or a loser, how can you expect to be the winner of a battle you see as already lost before even facing it? On the contrary, the moment you decide to take the reins of your life in your hands, when you decide to open your eyes and see, all nature's powers, both spiritual and physical, start working in order to carry out the “instructions” given by your positive, optimistic "re-programming".

Are you a sheep?

Sheep never dream of asking questions, of suggesting changes, of proposing new paths. They just do not “think”, because this is their nature, and this is right for them. Are you like sheep as well? Ask yourself if you have – or have not – received the gift of intelligence, the gift of a reasoning mind, capable of seeing new opportunities and possibilities beyond the passive acceptance of outdated rules and customs, which are unable to fulfill your present spiritual (or otherwise) needs. It only takes a small but honest act of courage to face WHO you believe you are (but maybe you are not).

How “true” are your feelings?

Do you consider yourself a generous, caring person - not so much from a material, but rather from a psychological or spiritual point of view? Do you care enough for other people’s feelings? Do you endeavor to hurt neither through words nor deeds those you are dealing with? When you believe you are in love, are you sure you don’t consider “love” what is more a desire to control, a feeling of jealousy, a wish to possess?  Someone defined intuition as “the stuff you know you don’t know you know” (Wow!!) Are you brave and honest enough to examine yourself and discover what YOUR intuition may suggest?

1985-2011: A “Technology” Odyssey

Today, no deep speculations. Just a little something that might make you smile (I hope).

Last night I watched an episode of a 1985 TV series (courtesy of an Amazon.com DVD) in which a man becomes insane because he feels overwhelmed by technology: telephone, fax, VCR, walkman etc... He is longing for silence and for some kind of privacy. Therefore he invents a device able to short-circuit all these machines. His firm belief is that “the majority’s rule” compels (1985) people to become “dependent” on these machines, so something must be done about it. I mercifully avoid mentioning the tragic ending, sigh! Anyway, he goes on believing that he has sown a seed, and ends up living happily in his “nice little cell” (his words) and in his “hopeless illusion”(my words)!! If he only knew....

Awareness is your armor

If you say you are aware of what you are doing, you - hopefully - mean that you are  conscious of the importance of your action, that you pondered well before undertaking it and that you also know what its consequences might be. Is THIS, honestly,  the attitude that guides your life? Do you always know, really know, what you want to say and do, why you are saying and doing it, where your words and deeds will take you, what influence they might have upon yourself and others? If you are able to do this, good for you – indeed! You are then perfectly safe and protected against any afterthought, resentment, or blame. You shall neither regret what you did or the way you did it, nor feel the need to blame others for your mistakes. You shall always be ready to gladly take over your own responsibilities, independently from your behavior, be it either positive or negative.

About love

   

 The Lebanese-American poet Kahlil Gibran (“The Prophet”) wrote: “If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it means they have always been yours. If they don’t, it means they have never been yours.”

You may think that your love can create a long-lasting tie, you believe that it can fulfill all your beloved’s needs. It’s only an illusion, because what you can give your beloved is only what YOU think they wish for. In spite of your closeness, you will never really, totally know their deepest needs and desires. All you can do is give them what you are able to, without falling into the trap of believing you can tie them to you forever.

Where Do We Come from? What Are We? Where Are We Going?

Paul Gauguin painted his (probably) most famous painting in Tahiti in 1897. The French title has no question mark, no dash, all the words are capitalized:. D’ou Venons Nous Que Somme Nous Ou Allons Nous. Among these questions, which sounds the most interesting to YOU? Have you ever wondered where you “actually” come from (beside the physical part of the story)? Do you ever wonder WHO you "really" are? Do you believe you “know” yourself? And, finally, are you interested in investigating the possible “places” you might be heading towards? Wow! Mind-blowing stuff, isn’t it? Unless you prefer walking with blinkers, your vision never spacing beyond your nose...If this is your choice, it’s okay. You will surely be spared many a headache!! On the other hand, IF you decide to start “thinking”, and happen to go to Boston, be aware that this painting is at the Museum of Fine Arts. It might inspire you....

Looking for peace

Looking for peace does not really mean anything. You cannot LOOK FOR peace, because it has never been lost or hidden, therefore it can’be FOUND. It exists, and it has always existed inside of you – because it is your “nature”. Your task is to admit its existence, become aware of it, bring it to light, acknowledge it and... accept it. Does it sound too easy... or too difficult? Actually, it is neither. You only need to examine yourself and find out what is preventing you from experiencing serenity. Once you drop the useless load of worries, conditioning and pre-conceived ideas that you keep carrying around (like a yoke around your neck!) you’ll see how light and peaceful you can feel and BE.  

Of Spiders…Again!

                       

Yesterday, while enjoying the early morning sun on my balcony, I noticed a small spider busy weaving its web. I loved watching how hard it kept working for some time, then taking a rest, then starting to work again, and so on. The tiny creature seemed to have found “the secret”: do what you have to do, but take it easy, don’t fret, because verything can be achieved in good time. I have already written about spiders and webs. Do I feel a special fascination towards these insects that most people find unpleasant and even frightening? I can’t say. I just feel they KNOW how to do their job well – in the right way and with the least effort. On second thought, isn’t this the way animals in general behave? What about humans? Mmm…

How do you feel about the future?

How do you feel about the future? Do you believe it’s full of promises or are you afraid it might bring “bad news”? Your attitude, this very moment, is already shaping what you will experience next. The future does not actually exist because when it does arrive, it’s NOW. All the rest is speculation. Perhaps you believe that you won’t have time to do all the things you want to do, that you might be unable to do them, that situations will worsen, that your health will decay... All sensible thoughts, BUT they should not become worries. Just possibilities that might materialize, or might NOT, but which sometime are beyond your control, so...Why worry? “Que sera’, sera”, remember? If you do your best today, “Tomorrow will take care of itself.” (Not my words, evidently!) Attitude is what really matters. And your priorities about what is really important.

No more “shadows”

I’ve noticed that, when I walk in town, I cant’ help looking at people. I mean, I really LOOK at people, not as passing shadows I happen to encounter, but as REAL persons, human beings – as I am. Although I don’t know them, I don’t know their stories, I feel a sort of connection, an awareness of them being just like me, individuals who are experiencing life, each with their challenges, just like me – and you. Can this awareness help create a greater understanding, a deeper feeling of “oneness”? I surely hope so. I can’t honestly say that I already feel this kind of oneness with “The Others”, but I do believe that trying to see them in a new light might be a first step.

Does the “soulmate” exist?

I have often wondered if one's soulmate really exists. In movies and novels it seems it does: “... And they lived happily ever after”. Deep inside you, too, identify with the beautiful Princess or the handsome Prince. And then? Where is the perfect couterpart, the wonderful partner of your dreams, your SOULMATE? Is the person you have in your life the REAL one? At first, it always seems so. Then... What happens? You start seeing their faults and flaws, every now and then they even get on your nerves. And all the poetic halo fades away. Are your expectations too high? Is a shared life all about compromise, acceptance, empathy? “I” – personally – haven't found an answer, yet!. You try! Could it be that also Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming have a good fight from time to time and then... they make peace, over and over again?

A “deaf” world

         

I’ve made a discovery. Actually, it’s an OLD kind of discovery but it still amazes me – and makes me ponder – every time I happen to think about it. Here it is: “People don’t like to listen”. So what? You might say. Well, isn’t it interesting to realize that one time YOU talk and the others aren’t paying attention, and the next time THEY are talking and your mind is elsewhere? Should we therefore be surprised by the lack of true dialog, of compassion and understanding that seems to be so widely spread nowadays? Most  people appear to be contented (but are they really?) living in their cozy little “cell”, the tiny, self-centered space they have created, where they have no need for true communication. Other times, even if you are actually listening to what someone else is saying, you understand something totally different from what they meant. Their words have a definite meaning for them, which is not what you perceive. How is this possible? Words are words and they should have the same meaning for everybody. Yes, they should. But – sometimes – they don’t. I am not going further into this. I invite you to think it over and bring to memory the many times this has already happened to you. Just remember when you said (or he/she/they said): “You got it wrong!” or “It’s not what I meant!”. Sounds familiar?

Life, an eternal flowing

While sitting in the upper room of a lovely cafe' overlooking the waterfront, I observe a wide stream merging into the bay. The current is constant, neither too fast, not too slow. The words uttered by the boatman to Herman Hesse's Siddharta come to my mind : "The river taught me wisdom." I wonder what these words really mean: How can the eternally flowing water teach wisdom? Maybe it invites me - and you - to reflect upon our lives, on how they flow... flow... flow... with no possibility of stopping them even for an instant, nor having them flow back even a few inches. Everything goes forward, moves ahead and we can't but ALLOW it (Here we go again!) because life's movement is not for us to decide. We can only choose HOW to move, HOW to "go with the flow". Here are some possible choices: We might try to to stop it - only to be dragged away by the strength of the current. We may try to swim without knowing how, so we'll have a hard time staying afloat. We may choose to be carried by someone else, but in so doing we miss the thrill of the swim. Some fools might even try to swim "against" the current and they end up... who knows where (surely not where they had planned of going!). BUT we can also decide to swim "WITH the flow", i.e. let ourselves move like that seagull I see drifting in the air. In this way, we will hopefully (and peacefully) reach the ocean.

Aiming at the stars?

              

It is only natural for you to wish to achieve more, to improve your situation, to become a better person. It is indispensable to have a goal to reach, even to aim at the stars, in order to give meaning to your own life. But be careful: don’t forget that in each moment – yes, even this very one – everything is okay: you already are in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. To reach the stars you must first keep your feet on the ground, whence you’ll eventually make the leap required.

Is doing your best enough?

Is doing your best enough? I wonder. Sometimes it seems that, although you try and honestly believe that you have said and done the right thing, yet the result is totally different (sometimes, even the opposite) from what you would have expected and hoped for. It seems that your action did not yield a positive result. How come? Difficult to say. The problem is that we are all different. My motivations are not the same as yours, and yours are not similar to mine. They might even be in contrast. One of author Anthony de Mello’s little stories talks about a monkey who pulled a fish out of the river to save it from drowining! Wow! Let’s give it a thought. 

Tickets for miracles are for sale!!

Yesterday, Sunday, I was flipping through the TV channels looking for something that would entertain me for a few minutes, while waiting for my friend. And I surely found it  in this well dressed man, youngish and kind of handsome, who was talking with great drive. I listened. He was from an “Inspiration chapel” and what he was basically repeating over and over and over (I couldn’t help listening for several minutes, open-mouthed and with eyes rolling!): “God talked to me and told me to tell you that you have to sow a $273 seed of obedience and you will be granted miracles in your health, family and finances. So go to the phone right now and sow this $273 seed that God is asking from you. Only 3,000 are the chosen.” Does this need any comment? I am still quite unfamiliar with the idea that there might still be people (and there certainly are, if  this kind of program is on TV!) that would pay God (PAY GOD!!) money to receive miracles in their lives. NO NEED for inner work, spiritual progress, awareness, love, acceptance and forgiveness. It’s enough to FOLLOW THE ORDER and give this individual $273 and a basket full of blessings will descend from Heaven upon you. Woe is me! (It seems appropriate here to quote  a recurring Bible expression, although I am no scholar).

Past versus Present

  

Do you often think about the past? If you do (and, most certainly, YOU  DO, because everybody does!) it is only natural for you to find somenting that you don’t like, that you regret, that you would like to wipe away, to erase from your life. But, as this is not possible, it’s better for you to choose to accept willingly WHAT has been, WHO you have been. The past does not exist anymore, only the present is “real”. Unfortunately, you tend to forget this truth. Please, don’t. To keep thinking of the past only makes your life heavier with a useless burden. Do you really need that?

Flowers of the broom

Walking in my neighborhood in the past months, all I could see – besides the beautiful evergreen trees – were lots of bare, rather dull bushes: boring, graysh stalks sticking up in all directions, with neither grace nor beauty. This morning I went again – after a couple of weeks – and I found an actual “explosion”! The bushes had come to life. The deep green of the branches made a contrasting frame to the striking bright yellow of thousands of flowers blooming everywhere. A transformation, hardly believable, had taken place in such a short time! But, I thought, the preparation for such miracle must have taken several months. Can you think of a time when you found yourself totally drained, almost lifeless, with neither spirit nor enthusiasm for anything? Then, if you had “let it be”, i.e. no resisting, no rejecting, no judging, just BEING, haven’t you experienced a rebirth of creativity, of zest for life? Life can be wonderful indeed, when you follow its “golden rule” (ALLOW).

FRATELLI D' ITALIA

Yesterday, June 2, was Italy’s National Day. It was lovely to meet with friends who are interested in the Italian culture. We all sang the National Anthem, “Fratelli d’Italia”, BROTHERS OF ITALY. I now wonder: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could, not necessarily sing or even say, but just feel “Fratelli del Mondo”, BROTHERS OF THE WORLD? While not denying one’s own origin, the Earth would surely be a better place if we focused more on our similarities than our differences. I know…I know… It’s not a  new idea…You’ve heard it a thousand times… But – honestly – HOW MANY do really feel it to be true and, most importantly, apply it in their lives? With their partners, co-workers, neighbors, “strangers”? What about YOU? How often do you feel a real affinity with the people you know well and with those you don’t know so well? How patient, kind, understanding, forgiving are you towards EACH of them?

Do you "really" want to live better?

     

If you finally decide to be more patient, understanding, kind and emotionally generous (It’s about time!!!), you must be so towards everybody – No distinctions are allowed here. As the sun shines over each individual, with no discrimination whatsoever (sex, religion, race, character, behavior, relationship etc..) you, too, must ignore all prejudices that might induce you to see non-existent differences (and judge accordingly!). A human being IS a human being just like yourself. Do you want to get along with everybody else? See him or her as you see yourself. If you really want it, you can do it! No excuses accepted.

Healing

           

It’s not easy to overcome misunderstandings and disagreements: it’s only human to always try to prove yourself right, to have it your way, to be “the winner”. When this does not happen, a crack, a rift takes place between you and the other person. Only true love (= understanding and compassion) can heal the situation, can bring peace where there seems to be war.