Take A Chance

Are you happy where you are? Wonderful! Stay there and enjoy. But if you are not, there is no reason to feel disappointed. It only means that it's time for you to move on. And moving on means "change". In order to reach a different place (job, relationship, situation in general) the only possible way is to bravely face the unknown. You have to take a chance, leave the old behind so that the new can manifest itself. You need to experience a loss if you want to gain, to reach your goal. You need to feel secure, of course, that's why you don't really like to abandon what you have been familiar with for such a long time, but the choice is in front of you. Either you stay where you are (and feel unhappy, unfulfilled, even a victim) or have the courage to change direction, to step into a path that leads...who knows where? Courage has been defined not as the lack of fear but as the capacity to face whatever one is afraid of. What is your position here?

Believe!

Today I want to share a prayer/meditation/affirmation that might be useful to those who can appreciate it.
Here it is:
Situations sometimes may seem difficult, but things have a way or working out, if you only keep believing.
Believing in your dreams, in what you really want, and not settling for anything that is less than what you know is right for you.
Believing in your strength, in the faith of your convictions, in the courage to go on even when it would be so much easier to quit.
Believing in yourself, in the person you are and in all you can be.
Believing in life, in how much it has to offer, in how much you have to give, and in how life can be everything you want, if you only keep believing.

Unfulfilled Dreams

How many times have you had a dream? How often have you thought of something you would have really liked to achieve? Maybe, at a time in your life, you wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument, climb a mountain, speak a foreign language fluently, visit a particular country (Fiji? Oh, well, that was MY dream), become proficient in gardening or cooking. What have you done about it? When we are younger we promise ourselves we would do certain things, one day or another. Then we get caught up in our busy lives and - maybe not "forget" - but neglect to carry on our wish. They are usually not unreachable goals, they are things that could be done, if we really wanted to. But... how badly did we really wanted to? Our existence has proceeded all right even without going to Patagonia, painting a sunset, playing the banjo or learning to dance the Viennese waltz. But how do you feel deep inside, when you spend a moment on the memory lane of dreams? Cheer up! You can still do something about it. It's never too late, indeed.   

Calm After The Storm

Extremes in nature are normal. If we think of a great disaster such an earthquake, a volcanic eruption, a tsunami, we see that, after the dramatic event, nature finds its regular flow once again. On a smaller scale, when we walk on a flat ground, we may find an obstacle every now and then, that slows down our walk. It could be a boulder to overcome, a river to pass over, a crossroad that compels us to choose, a red light that prevents us from (temporarily) moving on. In the same way, our life experiences may thrill us today and bring us down tomorrow. Now we feel happy and the next moment we feel depressed. We laugh and we cry, we are compassionate and we judge...We seem to be always torn between opposites but, if we accept the rhythm of human nature, we can achieve a state of peace and relaxation. How? By never fighting what comes along. No matter how difficult the situation is, if we realize that the only thing we can do is "deal" with it, the best decision can only be to deal with it through acceptance and a positive attitude ("This, too, shall pass") rather than through upset, resistance and, in general, a negative attitude.  

Are You A Free Spirit?

I am sure that many of us have wondered about the actual existence of free will. Is it real or is it an illusion? You may wonder if, while making a decision, you are really carrying out your truest conviction or if you are expressing the result of a previous and cleverly disguised conditioning. This is totally possible, especially nowadays, as the incessant talking, discussing, criticizing, advertising, analyzing that people, TV, the media in general never stop doing...continuously...mercilessly... Being enveloped by this  never-stopping bombardment can make the exercise of free will a bit problematic, even doubtful. What can you do? Just try to detach yourself from what you hear and see, from what is forcefully stuck under your nose by TV ads, which endeavor to make you "buy", and by opinionists, who want you to believe that "their" convictions are the "only" right ones. Once are you able to do that, you will enjoy the freedom to make original, personal choices and the awareness of the changes you want to make in your life. It might at times seem a bit difficult to make your own decisions known and carry them out. But - if you a true "free spirit" - you will find the effort rewarding and  the outcome fulfilling.

Experiences Are Contributions

By mere chance I happened to re-discover an old diary of mine. It was interesting and also sweetly sad - to a certain extent - to read stuff that I had written long time ago. There were some reflections, some things I was planning to do and even a list of things that I was dreaming of doing. Some have been achieved (having books published, traveling to the USA, learning how to use a computer, change hairstyle....). Others, such as going to the Fiji islands or learning how to play the guitar, haven't happened, YET! And, among the many quotes I had  also recorded, I found this one that, I believe, is particularly meaningful: "Our experiences have a purpose and offer us the opportunity to practice the contributions we have been created to make". Wow. This means that whatever happens to us can be used as a tool to be of help - to others as well as to ourselves. This might possibly include what "does not" happen, as well. It is ALL experience. To be or not to be. To do or not to do. They are all acceptable choices that will entail certain consequences. It's a great responsibility but it also makes us feel real participants in the creation of "what is".

News on Christmas Day

It's early Christmas morning and - before participating in the family tradition of present opening - I read the news. Three pieces in particular strike me. 1. The head of the International Monetary Fund says that the world economy is in serious danger. 2. In Nigeria explosions in churches have killed many people. 3. Actress Scarlett Johansson  talks about her make-up habits.

Pretty picture indeed: a world (OUR world) plunging into economic depression due to the greed of a few Scrooges, religious intolerance still going strong, trivial facts regarding TV and movie stars reported in the news headlines. What does all this say about the present situation of our society? Money mismanagement is shoving most towards total ruin, hate fomented by fanaticism goes on killing innocents, "they" continuously try to distract our attention from serious matters towards idolized symbols of the so-called show business. What will the final result of this folly be? Who knows? 2012 prophecies talk about great "disasters" coming our way. We don't know what their nature will be. But who has ears to hear, eyes to see and a mind to think can easily make the sum.

Why life seems so easy on the Peanuts?

Underwater Art

Inspired by a friend's post on Facebook about underwater museums, I've spent some time thinking about how some people, not only are they creative, but they are also willing to do whatever it takes to carry out their dreams. Creating art to be displayed under the ocean is not an easy task. Beside the actual work in sculpting the statues or painting the pictures, another big chore follows, i.e. carrying and placing the art pieces in the chosen spot, well under the water surface. The artists need diving skills, expert helpers, suitable boats, cranes etc... How many people are ready to undergo a similar hassle in order to pursue their goals? How many are motivated enough to face all the problems relevant to the execution of their plans? How many are consistent enough to run with confidence till the finish line? How many have the patience required? 

Win The Peace

If I remember right, it was the Latin poet Ovid who said: "The greatest challenge that is better than win the war is win the peace." He was clearly referring to such a tumultuous time as the birth of the Roman Empire of Octavian Augustus, but I have a feeling that these words might be applied to our life as well. We, too, always try to win a war, don't we? When we want to prove our point, when we are judging others, when we defend ourselves, when we struggle to progress in our career, when we need to prove our worth, when we want to show the world that we are "better" than... We fight, often secretly - just inside our own "self" - and suffer to achieve our goal. Then, when our desire is fulfilled, when we "have won" (i.e. succeeded in proving our point, proved that "the others" were wrong etc...), what do we do? Do we feel fulfilled? Do we stop fighting? Do we enjoy our "victory"? Hardly. As the much celebrated "Pax Romana" did not last long and wars started all over again, also in our own soul peace is not maintained for long.

2012 Starts Today

Yesterday, December 21st, winter solstice, was the astronomical end of the year. Therefore, in reality,  fatidical  2012 starts today. What does this exactly mean? No one knows. So much, too much has been said and written about this topic and I, personally, believe no one can honestly say they know what is going on, what will happen at the end of the Mayan Calendar. Will great disasters take place? Will aliens come to Earth? Will it be the end of the world? Or, rather, will there be a shift in consciousness? Will the human beings who are ready to make a change become more aware of the tragic situation our planet is in and do something about it? As unbelievable as it sounds, many people have never heard of 12-21-2012 in spite of all the fanfare that has been made about relevant prophesies. Good for them. They are happily living their lives day by day, thinking ONLY about work, money, family, mortgages, vacations, possibly church....And that's all. They may be right. After all, doesn't a famous song say "Let's forget about 'domani' for tomorrow never comes"?

Toddlers And Tiaras

Last night I decided to watch part of a TV program someone had mentioned to me and that kind of intrigued me. I was curious to see what it was about. It was about beauty pageants for little (and I mean "little") girls. I saw 5-years-old all dolled up, made up, hair styled in curls and towering chignons, dressed in low-cut outfits. And so, so fake... I saw babies pushed by their mothers (and by the "philosophy" of the producers) to become caricatures of what they wanted to be, totally erasing what they actually were. Some little girls were wearing sparkling tiaras with a proud attitude, others were desperately crying, crushed for not having won. I couldn't help wondering what will possibly become of these toddlers when they grow up. Will they keep on believing in their "right" to always be the winner, the best, feeling superior (and eventually be bitterly disappointed)? Or, on the other hand, will they keep on feeling defeated, losers, with no self-esteem, believing they betrayed their mothers' aspirations for not winning, for not being good enough? It's very likely. What a shame! What a cruelty! The total opposite of what a good education should be, of what wise parents should teach their children.

Dangerous Knowledge

I've recently watched a mind-blowing BBC documentary entitled "Dangerous Knowledge". Rather than actual "knowledge", it describes the desperate search of a few brilliant mathematicians and physicists (largely ignored) for answers about how certain can we be and what can we really know about our reality. Such search is "dangerous" because its reasoning, carried to the extremes, can bring us to the edge of insanity. Basically, the result is this: logic tells us that there is absolutely non certainty to be found anywhere in the world we see and believe we know. Just think of solid matter that is not solid at all at a fundamental level.On the other hand, human beings need to be "certain" in order to feel safe. So? The conclusion can only be one: Are we mature enough to live with uncertainty? This question intrigues me and I hope it will encourage others to give it a thought. We might be inspired to examine in depth the imbalance, the shift in moods, the change in beliefs, the ups and downs that we experience in our life and towards which we are totally powerless. Can we learn to accept them serenely? Can we confidently build on them while knowing that nothing will last?

Win An Oscar?

Who - at least every now and then - doesn't feel the desire to do something special? Something that makes you stand out of the crowd? You know you were created to be unique, you know there is no one else like you and that, therefore, also your dreams are of a higher nature. All this is fine. We certainly need to feel how important we are in the economy of the world, even the universe. We must also believe in our ability to make the right choices, to help others, to cooperate in the creation of a better world. But what is mostly needed is for our actions, moment by moment, to be coherent to our principles, to be consistent with what we want to achieve. Let us not "preach" something" and then "do" something else! If your goal is to win an Oscar, start by playing at your best in your Community Theater. Your talent will be recognized if you are diligent, dedicated, willing to listen and to learn, on a daily basis. As the longest journey starts with one step, great (or just worthwhile) achievements begin with small acts of kindness, trust, perseverance.

Are You Certain?

One characteristic of being human is the need for not only certainty but also certitude. No difference between the two? Not quite. Where certainty means a state of being certain, certitude means a state of feeling absolutely convinced. The difference is that certitude is a feeling while certainty involves inherent factuality. Therefore, you are certain that tomorrow the sun will rise because it always happens, it's scientifically proven, but you may or may not experience certitude as to the existence of God, the goodness of people, the motivations behind your actions. No big deal, you might say, and you would be probably right. But I believe that oftentimes the "feeling" is more fulfilling than the actual situation. Knowing something because there is proof is easier than believing, accepting as true a fact that is suggested only by your inner self, your intuition. And it's not always comfortable to accept it and follow its directions. Responsibility is involved here.

Teacher Or Guide?

Every time we start something, even when we start it "again", our path is never mapped out in advance. We have to invent it, create it every single time. What does this mean? It means that we should not be deterred by previous failures to achieve our goals, because the past does not repeat itself. But... Be careful! The past does not repeat itself - in spite of a well-known saying that states the opposite - provided we use our brains and keep our eyes open. What is needed here is more open-mindedness, more creativity, a greater ability to see things from a different perspective, to accept new possibilities. It is necessary to dare stepping into unknown grounds, to take risks and have faith in the results. The past should be our teacher, not our guide. A teacher helps us to learn, makes us able to solve our own problems, but does not tell us how to actually do things. On the other hand, if we keep remembering our previous experiences while starting a new endeavor, we remain tied up to the past and cannot expect a different outcome. As usual, the choice of how to proceed is always ours.

Affecting Others

To what extent do we believe our actions affect people's lives? You will probably think that, in order to have "impact", you should accomplish great things, make heroic deeds, become an outstanding member of society. Not true. The idea of "outstanding" implies being exceptionally good or clearly noticeable. It is therefore referred to someone who stands out of the crowd. But in order to be loved, appreciated, in order to do good to others you don't need that: it's enough for you to be kind, understanding, available, non-judgmental. The person who receives your act of kindness will appreciate you more than if had won the Nobel Prize. Your impact on their life is meaningful because you show them that you care on a personal basis, that you see them as people who deserve your attention, your time, your devotion. Isn't making someone feel they are worth, they are important, "big" enough?

The Collapse Of Dreams

One of the saddest things that can happen to you is to realize that your life has been lived in an imaginary illusion of righteousness. You have said things, done things, behaved in a certain way, made decisions in the firm belief that you were saying the right things, that your actions were fair, that your behavior was correct, that your decisions were wise. Then, all of a sudden, you find out that you had been living in a dream and that now you are compelled to wake up and see how naive you have been, to what extent you have deceived yourself. No one is responsible but you. What can you do? Accept the bitter truth and hope that you are still capable to act and react, that you still have time, that your will is still strong enough to encourage you to start all over again, from scratch. A tough - but necessary - choice.

The Easy Life

It is undeniable that everybody would love to have an always pleasant life, that each of us longs for easy times, with no struggle and certainty regarding outcomes. But let's think for a moment: were we sure of the outcome, were life to serve us our wishes on a silver tray, would we still feel enthusiastic and hopeful about starting a new day? If you are reading a thriller or watching an exciting movie, how would feel is someone comes along and tells you how the story ends? Wouldn't you feel disappointed? Wouldn't you think that you have been deprived of the actual experience you were entitled to? It is "your" life, "your" experience and you need to go through all the necessary steps to reach the outcome, to achieve your goal, to arrive where you are planning to go. If you are denied the trip, reaching your destination will not be so rewarding. Therefore, if today is a mixture of joy and sorrow, excitement and boredom, health and pain, let us accept is as a complete, creative palette of feelings that allows us to fully savor the condition we call Life. Each "color", each element that is part of our day will give us reason for growth and progress on our path.

Chances Are Everywhere

They say that there are riches in every opportunity that comes our way. Actually, what is the definition of "opportunity"? The dictionary states that it is a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something, to attain a goal. Synonyms are "chance" and "possibility". Beside the usual application of this word to job, career, making money etc., it would be interesting to ponder about how the circumstances in our life could really be tools that help us learn and grow. How do you see the situations you have to face every day? Dealing with a grumpy face rather than with a smiling one? Being overworked and feeling resentful? Having a nice conversation with a friend? Enjoying a delicious dinner? Yes, you love the latter but you loathe the former, don't you? But dealing with umpleasant situations teach us much more then having things go our way. Why? Because when things go our way, we stay the way we are, we don't feel the need to improve ourselves. When we have to deal with what we don't like we have the choice between reacting negatively or deciding to learn how to modify our outlook, our need to judge all the time. In the long run, such a change will bring more serenity and happiness in our daily deeds.

Possible? Impossible?

I have always wondered if it's really possible to overcome our limits. I have already written on this subject but, as usual, finding a "final answer" is not so easy. If I look at a certain result that I was not able to achieve to the extent I wanted, I have to admit that - in spite of my good will and effort - not everything is possible. On the other hand, if I think of a circus acrobat who is able to carry out unbelievable performances, I start doubting again: is it the outside world or is it me? The acrobat reaches outstandings results with great patience, commitment, sacrifice, trust. Most of all, he believes in himself, in his skill, in his capability to achieve the goal. He never gives us, he never loses sight of his target, he never loses faith in the goodness of his endeavor. He knows that his effort is worthwhile and that it will yield its fruit in due time. How do I feel about myself? How do you feel about yourself? How strong are we? How easily can we be disappointed, defeated by a failure? We often feel we are struggling against forces that are beyond our power. But this is not (always) true. We must keep riminding ourselves that "we can, if we believe we can" (Virgil).

Change

We all know that change is inevitable. We see it all around us, in nature, in things, in situations, in people. What about us? How willing are WE to accept change when it is necessary? In spite of what we know, we usually tend to resist the idea of changing something in our lives because we are afraid of making a mistake. We think of all the possible outcomes and, as we cannot be certain of a definitely positive result, we prefer to remain in the status quo rather then risk regretting our choice later. In so doing, we stay put in a rut, stuck in a situation which, although not the best, is at least a familiar challenge to deal with. But often, when faced by new happenings that defy us, a different kind of choice is required, if we want to progress on our path. Here is the pattern:
1. We complain about something we are not happy with.
2. We think, we reflect upon the problem, and a possible solution starts to materialize in our mind (light bulb!)
3. Once we make the choice, we can relax and start thinking about new possibilities and opportunities.
How does it sound? Are you willing to take this idea into consideration?

A Missed Eclipse

Waking up very early this morning, I remembered that a total eclipse of the moon was going to take place between 4:30am and 6:00am. Perfect timing! I gladly saw that the moon was right in front of my window. Perfect place! I set myself in a suitable position to enjoy the whole spectacle when something unexpected happened. The moon moved behind a large fir-tree. What a disappointment! I was determined not to give up and, every now and then, I could catch brief sights of the eclipse in progress while the branches were swaying in the wind. Then... nothing more. The whole experience was lost. A similitude came to my mind. We often prepare ourselves, make plans, do all that needs to be done in order to achieve a certain result. But then something - totally unforeseen - happens and things take a different course. How to deal with the disappointment? Probably "with a smile". There is very little we can do in front of situations that are beyond our control. Accepting willingly what we cannot avoid makes life easier (if not happier). Amen.

What A Waste!

I wonder to what degree we appreciate what we have, the basics we have been granted, before looking for the next thing we believe we need in order to feel satisfied. Actually, are we ever really satisfied? Think for a moment of something you wanted badly. Then you got it.  What then? For how long were you happy with it? How long did your gratitude last? Did you truly feel any gratitude at all?

It seems that nowadays having our real needs met is not sufficient to make us relax and enjoy life. We are constantly led to feel dissatisfied, to nurse the desire for more, always more, to wish to reach what seems to be always beyond our grasp. Why? Because a new "basic need" is being instilled in us daily, i.e. the need to overlook what is in front of us in order to cherish a mirage that will never become a reality. How sad. What a waste of time. What a waste of life.

Blindfolded!

A really comforting thought is that we DO have a choice in every moment of our lives. We often believe we don't, but we do. In each and every instant of our day we are faced with different possibilities: wear the white shirt or the red one, eat meat or fish, walk or drive, watch a movie or read a book, listen to a friend or ignore him/her, answer with a kind word or with a rude one, believe we can do it or we can't, believe we are winners or losers. Most of what we are surrounded by (environment, situations, people) try to make us believe that the only choice we have is to go with the flow, to do what others do, to accept what others tell us to do. Isn't this the whole idea about advertising? "They" endeavor to convince us that the only way to live better is to buy their product, to believe what they are saying, to trust their promises, to vote in their favor. We shall go on living blindfolded as long as we are not aware of the blindfold that is shrouding our perception of our true freedom to choose who we really want to be, what we really want to do with ourselves and with our lives.

A Big Difference

I have recently come across a quite interesting consideration: "disappointment" is inevitable while "discouragement" is a choice. Is it true?
You are disappointed when you don't achieve the results you wished for: things don't turn out "right", people behave "wrongly" etc... Can you avoid any of this? Hardly. Things happen they way they do, people are the way they are and you have to face different kinds of challenges on a daily basis. Anyway, isn't this what life is made of?
But being discouraged implies a different situation. You are disappointed and you don't know how to face the challenge. Maybe you "know" but you don't feel like doing it, maybe you don't trust yourself enough, you don't believe you can do it, you wonder if it's worth it to make the effort. And this is dangerous, because - by accepting it - you put yourself on the direct route towards depression, i.e. feeling that such kind of life isn't what you want, feeling a victim and so on. But, in truth, isn't this the only kind of life available to you? You simply have to choose how to manage it, what to do with it.

Life's Four Stages

I've been thinking about the metamorphosis of the butterfly and realized that our life follows the same steps. Four steps: the first one, as an egg, can be compared to our young age, when a PREPARATION takes place. We study, we make plans, we decide and get ready for what we intend to do as adults. Next: our caterpillar stage, which is the length of most of our life. We work, we raise a family, we face challenges and solve them. We EXPERIENCE. In the third stage, the chrysalis, we might feel the need to withdraw from it all. We need some time alone, possibly doing nothing, just "being", just "allowing" whatever comes up from the  deepest part of our own self. We ELABORATE all the previous experiences, we endeavor to mold them into something new. In our butterfly stage we hopefulyl succeed in realizing who we really are, who we want to be and what we want to achieve that really matters. This is the time for DISCOVERY.