The Weft

American essayist, lecturer and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nobody can give you peace but yourself." This truth was experienced by the mythical man who, after having looked for treasure (= happiness) all around the world, ended up finding it in his own backyard. The problem is that human beings tend to see themselves separated from what - physically - is not "themselves". This brings them to consider what is outside responsible for what happens to them. They don't realize that every element of the Universe is part of a weft that is continuously weaved, thus creating our reality,  where each "thread" is responsible for its own "place" (= feelings, behaviors). Everything is an "entity" that is connected to everything else. Including people. Including you. 

Talking

You probably know someone who likes to talk all the time, who loves to be the center of attention. He (or she) feels the need to be in the spotlight because - deep inside - he believes his real "self" is not smart enough to be recognized without a sort of fanfare, a showy outward display of his alleged skill or knowledge. The fact that every human being is equipped with one mouth and two ears should be proof enough that it would be better for us to listen more than talk. Besides, thoughts and opinions are supposed to be shared, not imposed. And, finally, if you tend to talk more than the others, are you sure that what you are saying is really interesting, useful or even just amusing? 

Habits

Are habits useful or aren't they? I would say they can be both. If a habit consists in the conscious repetition of thoughts and behaviors, it can contribute to your personal progress. As an athlete, a dancer or a musician can attain quasi-perfection in their fields through a constant, patient repetition of their exercises, similarly can you improve yourself by paying constant attention to your usual attitude and behavior, making changes whenever it seems suitable. Excellence does not consist so much in the action itself, bur rather in the way it is carried out. On the other hand, a habit can be harmful when it makes you lazy, when it deprives you of enthusiasm and makes you passively accept a certain lifestyle, when it pushes you to continue trudging in the rut you find yourself in, without wondering if it's possible to get out of it or - even - if it's worth trying. Mediocre human beings will never excel because they are unaware of their capability of being more, of doing more, of obtaining more from Life.

Two Roads

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." This famous quote by American poet Robert Frost needs to be reflected upon, every now and then.  Think about when - in the course of your life - you found yourself facing two different "roads", i.e. ideas, beliefs, behaviors. Try to remember which one you chose to walk upon. What did you do when you felt offended, ignored, or unjustly treated by someone else? Was your reaction an angry one or did you choose to accept and forgive? Recall any situations where you had the choice between being aggressive, judgmental, overbearing, selfish or remaining calm, understanding, humble, caring. Most human beings usually opt for the easier "road", the one suggested by their  proud and self-centered 'ego'. Not many decide to venture on the less traveled path, where the company is scarse. What about you?

Prosit!

Knowledge without action is practically useless. And so is willpower. If you talk about "doing" something, then.... do it! If you want to enjoy the taste of a cake, do you prefer to describe it or eat i? The answer is rather logic but... Think it over for a moment and discover how often you find yourself speaking on this and that or pontificate about something you heard or read but without having such notions impact your daily life. You like to criticize who is cause of injustice and sorrows and knowingly device ways to eliminate the problem. But "you", how do you behave in your personal life, at home, in your relationships, in your practical actions? Do you always put your good intentions into practice, or do you often leave them in the abstract realm of the mind? Reading the label on a wine bottle gives you useful information about the product, but to enjoy the experience you must do something with it. Prosit!

Targets

If you throw a stone in the air at random, you are sure to hit the target because, as there is no actual aim, any result is acceptable. Silly, isn't it? This cannot refer to you because you  believe you always know where you are going. You drive to your friend's home or to your office without any problem. You do your shopping and never make a mistake. You "know" what your destination is and how to reach it, you have your shopping list and buy exactly what you need. What about your life? Examine your behavior towards your partner, your friends, your children, your colleagues. Are you fully aware of how such relationships should be handled? If you are aiming at  establishing harmonious bonds, are you sure you know how to reach such goal (and act accordingly)?

Salt

If you want to fully enjoy some Italian spaghetti, you must salt the water you boil them in. Tomato sauce and parmesan cheese are important but, if you forget the ingredient "salt", the taste of your dish will not be enhanced to its best. The same happens to your life if you don't add enthusiasm to your endeavors.  Good will, dedication, perseverance, commitment are all indispensable features of a successful action. But, if you lack enthusiasm, your work won't be totally fulfilling, as a saltless dish may be healthy but also tasteless. You might prefer to replace salt with a herb or a spice: what counts is that little "extra stuff", that simple seasoning that allows you to fully enjoy what you are eating - or, out of metaphor - what you are doing.

True Power

The Latin philosopher Seneca said that the one who has power over himself is the strongest. What does it mean to have power over  one's self? It means something easy to understand but quite difficult to put into practice. You have power over yourself when, at a deep level, you know that you are behaving in the best possible way. The problem is that not always are you capable of reasoning properly, especially when you are carried away by a temporary emotion and don't take the time to think it over. You react instinctively instead of rationally. Whenever you were unable to control your reaction, you lacked that power because you allowed yourself to be bridled by an irrational force that misled you. Only later did you realize that your reaction was wrong. The negative feeling you experienced weakened your mental strength, preventing you from choosing a better behavior.

Don' Stop!

When water stops flowing, it loses its own characteristics such as purity, clarity, the capacity to give life. It stagnates. We can say that it "dies". The same happens to human beings when they stop moving forward, when they lose interest in action, when they resign themselves to curl up in their daily routine. They choose to halt because it's the easiest way. They stop asking questions, looking for answers, digging inside themselves to find creative stimuli. In doing so, they don't realize that they are slowly "dying", day by day. Only the wish to move forward, the will to make a dream come true, a target to aim at can provide the necessary thrust towards progress, towards a truly fulfilling life. Aim at the stars, someone said. That's a wonderful goal, totally worth pursuing. You will never reach them? It doesn't matter. What counts is to climb further up, to win your fears, to dare something new...

The Factory

Imagine your mind as a great building where thoughts are manufactured in different departments. Each department carries out  the making, the assembling and the completion of a particular part of the product. If you hold in your mind the image of a car factory, you will see the sectors where they build the engine, the body, the upholstery, the finishing etc. The final result will be a  perfectly functioning car.  The same happens in your brain, where the different departments manufacture thoughts, one bit at a time, using your past experiences, conditionings, memories, hopes and - quite often - your doubts and fears. Thus, according to the kind of experience, memory, hope or fear that you unconsciously choose to entertain moment by moment, you create each of your thoughts. As fear is usually stronger that hope, often negative thoughts take over. But if you decide to control your mind with greater awareness, the final "product" will be  more positive.

Shoes

A king of old had planned to cover his whole kingdom with carpets in order not to hurt his bare feet. A wise adviser suggested that he covered "his" feet instead. Good advice. You should take it into account when you endeavor to change someone else's behavior. You firmly believe that your partner should be more considerate, your coworker should be more co-operative, your friend more understanding, your superiors more lenient... Not many people know how to accept others as they are. Your problems could be less hard to deal with, if you stopped insisting on blaming someone else. Your fellow human beings are who and what they are, exactly as yourself. When you choose to allow them to be just that, a new understanding, even empathy might blossom in your heart.

Who Are You?

Here is an interesting quote worth reflecting upon. Check out and see what being "successful" means to you. Is it how much money do you make? The kind of house you own? The brand of your car? The expensive vacations you can afford? The rich and famous friends do you have? The parties you are invited to? The number of people who know you? On the other hand, how much importance do you give to your feelings, your thoughts, your behavior, your outlook on life? How sincere and heart-felt are your relationships with others? The first set of questions gives you an idea of what you "have", the second of what you "are".

To Bend Or Not To Bend

The smart branch bends when the wind blows. The rubber band stretches when you pull it. Why can't you be as flexible as they are? Simply because flexibility is their nature while you have been 'encased' in a sort of armor by all the conditionings, teachings, suggestions, orders, rules that you have received since birth. You haven't learned how to be totally resilient. You are not always ready and able to change so as to adapt to different circumstances. You believe that  you are, and you may be right, but only to a certain extent. It is possible that you cannot 'bend' or 'stretch' to the maximum of your ability, like the branch and the rubber band. You are used to finding excuses and justifications for your psychological and spiritual 'stiffness'. Nevertheless, as you probably like to exercise your body to make it able to attain different postures, you might find it worth it to also try to re-program your mind a little in order to be more accepting of situations that simply "are".

Delivery!

Do you believe that you are always aware of what you are doing and saying? Are you sure that your voice, your eyes, your facial expressions and body language express your true feelings? Finally, is it important to answer these questions? Yes, it is! It is important because you  often behave in a way that does not reflect what you really want to project into the world. You tell your opinion and others react in a defensive or aggressive way. So, you complain and feel unfairly treated. But... have you examined "the way" you uttered such opinion? Although you may be sure that you were just sharing your thought, the way it was delivered may have been interpreted otherwise. What was the timbre of your voice like? And the expression of your eyes? Were you frowning? So many little details that you may perceive as of no importance, can determine the reception (acceptance or rejection) that your speech or action receive and possible consequent reactions. Therefore... Beware!

Logic vs. Chance

Some people may be still looking for the proof of the existence a plane beyond the earthly one. Musing about the many "proofs" that have been either stated as a fact, simply proposed, or cloaked in veiled doubt, a thought has come to my mind. Probably all (or almost all) agree on the fact - scientifically proven, I believe - that the Universe is based on numbers. It has therefore been defined as a mathematical Universe. Without going into details about complicated formulas, equations and theorems, a simple truth can be evicted from all this, though. If mathematics  is based on logic (it is, isn't it?), any reasoning mind must accept the fact that the Universe (i.e. everything) is based on some kind of logic. So, what sense would all our experiences "logically" have if Life would just finish... abruptly, without reaching a goal, actually lacking a final purpose, without showing the universal meaning of our existence? Is it all a joke? Are all troubles, differences, sufferings, struggling, as well as love, compassion, relationships have been in vain?  Limited to these few years we are granted? Forgotten? Short of a deeper significance? Gone without a trace? Some say that it all  exists by "chance". A rather "illogical" explanation, isn't it?

Take a leap of  faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing.