Achilles' Heel

Do you know anyone who has a streak of meanness in them?

There are some individuals, in fact, who - although I wouldn't label them as "bad" - yet possess the capacity of hurting the feelings of others in a way that at times can be subtle, at other times more evident. Whenever they have a problem with a friend, a colleague or a relative, they instinctively know where to "hit". They are aware of their interlocutor's Achilles' heel (=weakness) and do not hesitate to throw their "arrow" right on that spot. 
You don't have too many ways to defend yourself against such attacks, unless you decide to do the same. Are you willing to become mean yourself  and retaliate, or do you prefer to choose the harder path of indifference or (if you are a saint) of forgiveness?

Time Perception

One thing that I find puzzling is the perception of time. Last week passed very quickly and so did the week before. This week, though, dragged on and seemed never to end. How come? Did anything happen that might have altered my perception? Maybe, but nothing I am aware of. So? I wonder if, inside ourselves, there is an in-built sort of clock that ticks according to external factors that are totally independent from our will and awareness.

As time flows differently according to speed (Einstein) so our internal clock seems to move according to the way certain "stuff" is acknowledged by our sub-conscious. At least, this is the explanation I found. You may have another.

Romantic Love

Have you ever wondered about what romantic love actually is, how it happens, why it happens, and if you have any control over it? Author A. de Mello says that what you usually consider love is only dependence, i.e. you need the other to fulfill whatever you believe you are lacking (caring, attention, support, inner strength etc…). Or – the other side of the coin – you have a need to control, to be "in charge", to "own" the other in order to feel powerful. You should examine yourself from this perspective. There are so many facets to your personality that it will take a lifetime to check them all (if you can ever succeed!). But… isn’t it worth it trying to understand yourself better, in order to re-adjust your life (when and where needed), so as to lead a more aware and happier existence?

A Despicable Trait: Arrogance

Among the most despicable traits that a human being can have is arrogance. 

The arrogant people always "presume".

1. They presume that they are better than others (more intelligent, more knowledgeable etc.).

2. They presume that others "owe" them something.

Such individuals can be neither good friends nor even a pleasant company.

My advice to you and to myself: Keep away from them!

Freedom of Expression

A reflection: is it possible that people, in spite of their saying that everybody should listen to and try to understand their interlocutor, in reality can only see situations from "their" point of view?

An example: If I tell you that you are hurting my feelings, wouldn't your answer immediately be, "I have to express myself in total freedom"? 
So? Does your right to total freedom of expression give you the right to ignore its consequences on someone else?

I leave the answer open (still wondering if there can be one).

Differences

At times it can be frustrating to see that things you are interested in are totally ignored by others. What you find pleasant, funny or uplifting doesn't mean a thing to your friend or to your sibling.

At the same time, it is good to realize that "the others" have talents, skills and capacities that are different from yours, and that can be useful to you.

So, if your colleague does not pay attention to your considerations about books, psychology, historical documentaries or science fiction (actually, he/she finds them boring), he/she can help you with a problem you are having because of your lack of technological skill.

Let us therefore look at the positive side of every seemingly negative situation. We will feel better, and enjoy life more.

A Young "Old Lady"

Some people are "old" when they are still young. They are bored, annoyed, they behave as nothing new should be expected. They have no enthusiasm or zest for life. On the other hand, some people are considered old only according to the number of their birthdays. They have "joie de vivre", they enjoy and appreciate every little gift from life. A "young" old lady, for example, still cares about her looks, is well-groomed and elegant, feels at ease dealing with youngsters; she makes plans, is willing to try new ways, learn new things. A "young" old man does the same. Age hasn't affected their attitude, their mood, feelings and behavior. What kind of "old" person are you planning to be?

She Needs 4 Cellphones

Our young people's obsession with technology never stops amazing me. I was recently conversing with young adults who admitted spending a significant part of the night on various social networks. They don't sleep enough, the next day they are tired and possibly late for work or school, yet they just can't help it. If they aren't in constant contact with "everybody", they feel cut out, they believe they are missing out on what is going on around them. One even said she owns 4 (four!) different smartphones (all basically the same) because, according to her words, she uses each device to contact a different group of people. Is this a form of insanity or what? Or am I the one who is old-fashioned and doesn't understand "the needs" of the younger generation?
I am appalled by how some (actually, many) individuals - who supposedly are reasoning beings - can allow themselves to get caught up in such a snare to the point of losing every sense of proportions. If the world keeps moving in this direction, may God help us!

Even Just One

A famous writer said: "If all my writings have been beneficial even to just one individual, I would consider myself successful." I love these words and I quote them often. I believe them to be utterly true. In fact, what is the meaning of our life if we can't be or (worse) don't care to be "useful' to another? There are so  many ways in which we can offer our help or - simply - our service. A deed, a word, a paragraph like this, a gesture, a smile of ours can have great significance for someone else. It might make them feel accepted, cared for, loved, at the moment when they need to be reassured. No one is so strong as to never need a helping hand, a listening ear, an inspiring word.

Only Results Count

Every now and then people like talking about religion in a sort of critical way. "My religion is right." "Your religion is wrong." "My religion is better than yours." "My religion is the only religion." These are  all personal, thoroughly acceptable opinions, as everybody is entitled to their own. In principle, the idea of religion is positive and that is why it has survived since it was born with the human race. Good or bad? Considering that the main religious principles are all good, the only thing we can talk about is the effects that such principles cause in their followers. How do they behave in consequence of such beliefs? How do they apply them in their lives? Do these principles make them better human beings? Or don't some individuals stop at the external rituals and do not care to actually understand their deeper meaning? If everyone applied the good that their religion preaches, wouldn't this be a much better world?

No-one Is That Good!

In spite of repeatedly saying that we should not have expectations from others, we still do. We affirm that people have the right to behave according to their judgment, yet we judge their actions according to our convictions. You say that this does not apply to you? Just think of a person close to you who recently acted in a way that you did not like. Maybe they didn't give you the answer or the attention you expected; perhaps the tone of their voice seemed to imply something else; maybe they didn't inform you of a plan of theirs or they asked a question that you didn't want to be asked. Well, how did you react? I am not referring to what you showed the world. I am talking about your "intimate" reaction. Can you honestly say that you totally accepted what you didn't like or approve of, without a bit of resentment and/or blame? Of course you did! Everyone does. It's only natural. No one (including you, me and everybody else) is that good!

I Miss Those Days

You don't have to be an old-fashioned, close-minded person to realize certain truths about advanced technology. I, for instance, use technology and appreciate it. Yet, I can't help noticing the obsession it has created in many people's minds and behaviors (especially the young, but not only). Therefore, every now and then, I feel a sort of nostalgia for "the good old days" when people didn't hold a mobile in their hands all the time but they held hands, when they didn't write one hundred quick messages a day but they took the time to hand-write one personal affectionate letter once a week, when they didn't talk so much on the phone but they spoke looking into each other's eyes. Yes, at times - when I forget that we are living in the 2010's - I kind of miss those days.

Of Garlic and Onions

There is an Italian saying that mentions asking someone about "garlic" and receiving an answer about "onions". Imagine requesting a friend to tell you the time and he/she starts mentioning episodes of their childhood. Or you ask information regarding France and they go on to talk about England. Absurd, you say? Absolutely not. I often experience this frustrating situation. Not in such blatant terms, it's more subtle and sometimes hardly detectable, but the situation persists. The result is that I cannot get the answer to the question I asked. 
Why? I believe this happens because often people - instead of following what you are saying (or asking) - follow "their own" train of thoughts, move along a different track, dance at a tune that is not compatible with yours. Tango versus waltz? Twist versus cha-cha-cha? Yes, this is what possibly creates such incomprehension between individuals, groups, countries. Everyone pursues their own idea or goal without ever making any effort to understand what their interlocutor is talking about.

The Wall

Due to their character or to particular circumstances, some human beings refuse to acknowledge the situation they find themselves in. They prefer not to "see" and they go on living as if everything was fine. But it is not "fine". On the other hand, the people they live or interact with are aware of the situation and would like to make them face reality, but to no avail. We all know that it is impossible to make someone hear if they pretend to be deaf. Similarly, you cannot compel a self-defined "blind" to see. The metaphorical wall these people have built around themselves is so high and so thick that it is actually impossible for them to acknowledge anything that is outside, anything that is not a construction (= a belief) of theirs. Therefore it is not easy to deal with them, especially because breaking down the Wall is an impossible endeavor.

Lemons vs. Oranges

I know, you wanted oranges because you like orange juice. 
But - so sorry - you got lemons instead. 
Now... be reasonable, make lemonade and enjoy it, rather than uselessly and disappointingly try to squeeze orange juice out of lemons.
Believe me... You won't succeed!