A friend made a comment about an attitude of yours. In a way, they suggest that you need to make a change. What is your reaction? In one case, you just listen to their words without really taking them into consideration because you believe that each of you has the right to your opinion. However, you may feel hurt because you perceive those words as a criticism. Thus you react in a defensive way. In this case, your reaction may be caused by two different motivations: 1.the need to justify your attitude 2.a desire to explain the reasons for your behavior. To a superficial observer both 1 & 2 seem to be the same. But they are not. Justification implies recognition of having made a mistake, and unconsciously attempt to be 'forgiven' (as a child: not 'punished'). Explanation implies your right to make your reasons clear, with no acknowledgment of mistake. Sadly, people are often too quick to judge someone else's behavior, without first trying to understand what its real cause might be.
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