Need to Know

Let's think again about the mind's need to "know", because it is one of the main human features, along with the need for survival and love. Some are unaware of it, so for them it doesn't really exist. Others have a hint of its existence, but they choose to ignore it. So they convince themselves that it doesn't exist or it doesn't matter. There are a few, though, who are strongly directed to pursue 'knowledge', and spend their lives trying to "understand". Understand what? The meaning of "what is": why are we here, is there a purpose unfolding in space and time, will there be an end, was there a beginning, where does it all come from? It may be interesting to  find out who lives better, those who don't care to take this matter into consideration, or those who struggle to get an answer at all costs. To which category do you belong?

Target

You may go on, day after day, nursing the illusion that a new job, a new house, a new love, new looks, will make you happier. Accept this truth: they won’t. You can be grateful with the gifts you receive and enjoy them, but it’s your deep 'self' that must be content and satisfied with circumstances, no matter what they might be. Happiness in itself is a fantasy, an unreachable aim upon which you have no control. But, like an archer who diligently practices with his bow, believing that one day he will center his target (and it is not unlikely that he will) you, too, had better practice being positive, open-minded, non-judgmental, compassionate etc… When you have done your work, you may even receive an unexpected award! 

Stay Open

We previously said that happiness cannot be created. This is a rather logical concept. You don’t go out searching for happiness as you don’t go our searching for love. Many people believe they can - but they are usually disappointed. There are things that can be “found” or “achieved”, like a lost wallet or knowledge. Others, like faith, love, happiness, serenity, peace - cannot. The only way to obtain them is to put yourself in the right disposition of heart and mind. When you are open to all possibilities, when you honestly “do your best”, and then accept what comes along, you might be blessed with the granting of your desire which, in the end, does not reside in others or in the outside world. If you believe it does, you soon see the result of your wrong belief. It is a hard lesson to learn, but it is essential.

A Dangerous 'Sport'

Complaining is a common human 'sport' so you, too, are not immune. You complain because you didn’t get a raise, because the car broke down, because your child got a D in a test, because you cut a finger while chopping vegetables, because your partner doesn’t agree with your point of view. They are unpleasant situations all right, but not to the extent of making you angry, upset, of making you curse or start a fight. Do you ever think about how lucky you are just because you are here, able to lead a decent life, speak up your mind, interact with others, go out for a walk, read a magazine, enjoy your coffee? Little things – yes, they certainly are – but they become 'big' if you think of those who don’t have them. And…you know what? It’s highly possible that some people who don’t have them are happier that you. Why? Because they complain less and appreciate more.

You Can Train Yourself

Do you know who Helen Keller was? She was an outstanding, enlightened human being. Blind, deaf and dumb, she was still able to affirm: “How wonderful life is”! Gratitude is a great tool to achieve serenity and you can obtain it by training yourself. How? By becoming aware of your “self” (body, mind, spirit), of what you have (life, a home etc.), of what surrounds you (nature, art, music etc.), of feelings (love, compassion, friendship etc.), of the inner small voice (intuition) that is always there to guide you on the right path - if you give it the opportunity of being heard. Isn’t all this enough to nurse gratitude in your heart and make it grow till it overflows?  *

Think Again!

There is a story about a man who, after demanding and receiving from a monk a big precious stone, could not help wondering; “Why could he give it up so easily?”. The answer is that the value the monk gave the diamond was not the same as the man’s. What was important to the monk was not riches. He was satisfied with what he already had. Contentment (and consequent gratitude) is a great concept, easy to understand but even easier to forget. When you have what you need or want, you take it for granted and hardly enjoy it to the fullest because you don’t give it too much importance. It’s there… so what? I am in reasonably good health…fine! I have a roof over my head and food on the table…fine! I have a family…fine! I have a job…friends…fine! So? Isn’t it what everybody else has? No, it isn’t! 

Useful Feedback

Guilt is one negative emotion. Like everybody else, you, too, may have something you feel guilty about. It might be a big or a small mistake. You have perhaps done someone wrong, mistreated another, been dishonest, mean, vindictive... Whatever it is, it’s something that haunts you, something that you try to forget but the nagging feeling is always there and prevents you from being totally serene. You wish you could change the past but you know that it’s not possible. Making amends? Maybe, but it’s not always possible because the person you have wronged may not be available any more; because fixing the problem is useless by now; because you still don’t have the courage to admit it openly. So, the feeling is still there and there is nothing you can do about it. Or this is what you believe. Is it totally true? If you endeavor to come to term with yourself, you may receive revelatory feedback from your deeper Self.

A Way to Find Peace

If you have been hurt, you are probably still holding a grudge, feeling blame and resentment. What can you do to start cleansing your heart? You may try to put yourself in our offender’s shoes. Ask: What could their motivations have been? How did I behave before the fact? Might I have had a certain amount of responsibility in what happened? Could I have reacted to the provocation in a different way? Why do I keep thinking about it? These questions need honest answers, and you may start by giving up the need to show that "they" are wrong.  In case you harbor jealousy or envy in your heart, ask if you are blaming others for being who they are, for having what they have, while they are simply creating their own lives. Why should you feel as if fate had wronged "you"? Everyone is responsible for his or her own thoughts, deeds, achievements and failures. Finding an answer means finding peace.

Hide or Do?

Yes, this world is not really a joyful place. In fact, you witness fighting, deceit, wars, accidents, cataclysmic events, painful diseases - every single day. You can hardly find something to laugh about. Should you therefore ignore what is going on and retreat in your little protected shell? Possibly you could, and many people do. Could you go out and express your opinions loudly? Some do. Could you actually get involved and act upon your beliefs, participating in actions where action can be useful? A few do. What about the rest, those who would like to do something “to help” but don’t know what or how to do it? If you say you don’t want to stay hidden in your shell, that you are willing to “do good”, to help improve the situation but don’t find the means or the tools to do it, is there a solution?

 

This World

It may seem absurd to realize that you are living in the midst of such a beautiful, lively creation and still are not happy. Some say that happiness cannot be created,  it cannot be found outside yourself, and it can only come as a consequence. These are paramount affirmations which are really worth pondering upon. Basically, they say that you are unhappy in spite of living in a beautiful and joyful world. If you look at what surrounds you, can you honestly say that it is a joyful world? Beautiful, maybe. Nature is certainly worthy of admiration, in its multiform colorful expressions. But joyful? There are certainly ways to find entertainment, amusement, pleasure. But there is also so much hate, pain, distress, blame, resentment... Is it possible to reconcile the two opposites?