Wrong / Right Communication

Life could be so beautiful if only people were able to "communicate". Communication does not mean only the exchange of news, of information, of facts about one's life. In a broader  interpretation, it means a sharing between minds (in the form of thoughts) and spirits (in the forms of feelings). It means talking to another and have their full attention, understanding and empathy. It also means listening to another, giving them your full attention, understanding and empathy. When this kind of "exchange" does not happen, there is no real communication. Each individual remains locked up in their little box of pre-conceived ideas, judgments, selfishness, self-righteousness etc. No "communion of souls", just petty feelings of self-entitlement, of "egoism". 

It's Unfair

At times life seems so unfair. You try to do your best, you are certain that you have done or are doing your best, yet situations have a way of turning out the exact opposite of what you expected. What can you do when this happens? The first natural reaction is to feel "angry". You ask: why? Then - if you can - you try to calm down and reflect. Is there anything you can do? You analyze the situation and find out all the possible ways to take action. Detecting the right one is not easy, because you are prey of contrasting feelings: fear, acceptance, rage, surrender, aggressiveness, forgiveness, retaliation, release...  It is indeed a lot to deal with! The first step, though, should always be a "pause". Don't make any decision, don't start any action suggested by your first natural reaction to what happened. It might be difficult, but it's necessary. Following your instinct is good, but not always. In certain situations it's advisable to "stay", to just "be" - do nothing for a while. Your wisdom will soon make you see things more clearly and objectively.

Fear of Failure

You are full of enthusiasm and have a great desire to succeed. But you are afraid of failing. It is a fact that in life you cannot expect to be always successful. This does not mean that you are destined to fail. It only means that you need to be prepared to face any possible outcome. What counts is the attitude you assume in front of a new endeavor. When you decide to walk towards your target, focus on adjusting your way of thinking and acting. Don't allow yourself to be influenced by what others say or do. Rather, create inside of you a strong trust in your skills and capabilities. While doing this, be also aware that, no matter what the outcome is, you will always be given what is best for you, there and then. You might not perceive it immediately, but you will - sooner or later.

Parents' 'Teachings'

Do the education and past experiences of parents have a substantial impact and influence on their children? It may and it may not. Parents usually try to teach their offspring what they have been taught and what they have experienced. They also try to pass along the principles and beliefs they grew up with. Are children receptive or unresponsive? Do they accept their parents' guidelines or do they refuse or ignore them? Although they might find their parents' life story somewhat interesting, still children prefer to make their own choices - independently. Since their teen-age, they are certain they 'know' what is best for them because they 'feel' they are different from their parents. Is this right or wrong? Neither. It simply is human nature. The need to experience freedom of thought and of action is stronger than any logical reasoning or sound advice.

Don't Regret It!

Regrets are a waste of time because they are useless. (Many may disagree, though.) When you did - or didn't do - what you are now sorry for, you did it because you simply couldn't do otherwise. The circumstances that brought you to behave in that way did not allow 'you' (= either your mind or you heart) to act differently. Most probably  you simply "had to" go through the experience that you now judge wrong. Every situation you face in life is meant to be. Why? To make you aware of something you don't know or you can't understand. Therefore, if you now regret an action or lack of action that you undertook in the past, don't regret it. In the majority of cases you don't even need to feel guilty. It's enough  to acknowledge it, try to understand why it was a mistake, learn from it... and move on.

A Quick Assessment

How do you lead your life? Are you well organized in your affairs or do you tend to be rather messy or careless? Do you have a clear view of your 'situation', i.e. your attitude and behavior, your way of dealing with finances, work, relationships? The answer might appear simple and you most probably believe that you have everything under control. But.. do you? Would you like to make a quick assessment right now? The answer will be given by the way you "feel" after you have done it. If you are tranquil and satisfied, it means that you are doing everything as it should be done, that you are taking care of all your responsibilities in the best way. If you feel differently, you'd better do a more accurate checking on the way you carry out your "businesses".

The Best Attitude

Do you usually expect good things to happen, or do you more often expect unpleasant situations to materialize? Being an optimist or a pessimist can be a trait of your character that you believe is innate and which, therefore, cannot be changed. This is true only to a certain extent. Your 'nature' might make you lean towards one or the other, but also the environment and the people you usually deal with have a great influence on your habitual attitude. Which one is better? It depends. If you are optimistic to the point that you ignore possible difficulties or problems, then you need to reflect on how you can be a bit more 'realistic'. On the other hand, if you expect only the 'worst', any joy will vanish even when you are successful. You will see it as a random strike of luck, with no chance to happen again. As usual, it's better to remember that a balance is always necessary to help you live a pleasant - although vigilant - life.

What's Coming Up

After your excursion in the past, imagine now that your time machine can take you to the future. First of all, would you be willing to engage in such enterprise? Here everything would be totally new because right now you have no possible way to 'know' what you will find. You may guess, but you cannot be sure. You can imagine how life will be, but there are many other possibilities. The main question, though, is if you would choose to see what will be going on in a far future, or if you would dare glimpse at your own life in the coming years. While the first choice can give you an idea of the way society will evolve, what expectations do you have about the next stage of your own existence? Ask yourself if you feel that it is a good idea to "know" the future. Or...wouldn't it be better to leave things as they are, living a day at the time, each day full of plans, dreams and hopes?

Imagine

Imagine that time travel were possible and you decide to take the opportunity to go on a 'special' trip to the past. Here, you have different choices: you can visit ancient eras, your ancestors, or you can change something in your life. Which one would you choose? Experiencing what life was in ancient times can increase your culture and knowledge, getting to know your great-great grandparents, or just seeing your parents as children would certainly be fun. But finding yourself at the precise moment when you made a decision that determined the life you have been living up to now, what would you do? Would you make the same choice or would you rather face an unknown existence, full of possible beautiful surprises but also full of possible great disappointments? 

Operation "Success"

Question: How can I be successful? 

Answer: If you want to be successful in your life, your aim should not be only…"success". This is not a contradiction. It means that your desire must not be motivated by the achievement of a mundane goal exclusively, be it physical, material or psychological. In order to have an effective, lasting success, this should be also (and probably "mostly") a source of spiritual fulfillment. In fact, what benefit would you obtain by reaching high worldly goals, if you lack the serenity to enjoy them? 

Say 'Yes' to Reality

Imagine that you are looking at a mountain. Would you say "No" to it? I mean, would refuse its reality? Would you criticize the way the mountain is because you believe that it should be different? Certainly not. Or... would you? Maybe you wouldn't say 'no' to a mountain or to a tree because you believe that this is the way they are and you consequently accept it. But you refuse to say 'yes' to other sides of reality when you contrast people's behavior, when you complain about some of your life's situations, when you feel victimized, judged, unfairly treated by a cruel destiny. "Reality" simply is, and you cannot demand that it shapes itself according to your wishes. What to do? You could try to detach yourself enough in order to perceive what "is" from a different perspective. If you are able to see from 'behind the screen', most of your negative feelings will disappear.