Thought, Word, Deed

Famous 17th century Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes said that "good deeds make us noble, we are children of our actions". Consider these words as an invitation to face, and reflect upon the importance of your behavior of yesterday, today and tomorrow. The way you acted in the past brought you where you are right now, and the way you are acting right now is creating your future life. How often are you really aware of this? Don't you sometimes undervalue the impact of a thought, a word, an action of yours? It would be advisable to remember more often that nothing is without consequences, that every single "thing" leaves a trace behind, a shade that will color your tomorrow.

Boulders on Your Path

We are used to talking about problems as either stumbling blocks or stepping stones. What does this really mean? It means that, like everything else, your attitude (and, consequently, your action) determines the outcome. If you find a big boulder on your path, you can either stop, sit down and complain or you can bravely climb on it and land on the other side. Every obstacle can be viewed as an opportunity to prove your courage, your strength, your creativity. You know well that Life is not usually easy and that many are the challenges you will meet on your way. Your true value as a human being depends on how you face them. And, consequently, you determine the "quality" of your own life.

Somewhere Else

You might have wondered why you do not find yourself where you wanted to be. You feel you have done your best to reach a certain destination, to achieve a specific goal, to be with that special person, but you didn't succeed. Instead of being at the seaside, you find yourself  on a mountain. Instead of having become the office manager, you are still a clerk, your life partner is not the one you had hoped for. You feel cheated because your dream did not come true. But, if you take the time to honestly reflect upon the situation, you might realize that the mountain air is more suitable to the state of your health, that you are not yet ready to be "the boss", that the special "someone" would have not been the optimal choice. Therefore... do what you can in every circumstance but, at the same time, also trust Life to give you what is best for you, in spite of  the apparent  contradiction.

The Fall of the Gods

You had put someone you admired, respected, cherished, loved on a sort of pedestal. Then they behaved in a way that hurt you. You realize that your previous judgement had been wrong, that such individual does not deserve your respect and affection any more. The "god", your idol, has fallen and will never resume its position on the pedestal. 

What to do, in the face of such an unpleasant experience? Simply remind yourself that no-one can ever be trusted "completely". You cannot know what is inside another human being, what his (or her) deepest feelings, motivations, desires, goals are. The only attitude you can try to assume, therefore, is one of acceptance, in spite of the disappointment. Through detachment, you will avoid feeling blame and resentment, negative feelings that will harm only "you".

Persistence vs. Stubborness

You certainly know (and probably agree) that persistence (or, rather, perseverance) is a good thing. Persistent people, in fact, don't give up. They try again and again. They are not deterred by the obstacles they find on their way towards the goal they intend to reach. At times, though, the goal in impossible to achieve. If you are smart enough to realize this, it is also up to you to understand that it would be wiser to stop trying. If you don't, if you become stubborn, you will waste the time and the energy that you could use otherwise. As usual, some discernment is necessary.

Forget "Yesterday"

The past can be an extremely powerful force in your life, if you allow it to dominate your present experiences. You may say that you don't give it such power, but maybe you do, without realizing it. Even if you don't keep thinking about 'yesterday', you might feel inadequate in a certain circumstance, for example, just because you subconsciously recall a similar situation where you failed. You have therefore created a negative belief about yourself that has serious repercussions in your present life. The past is gone, finished, obsolete! Remembering is not wrong, of course, provided it does not become a habit or, worse, a benchmark for your actions. The memory of a negative experience can be useful as a lesson but... limit yourself to be aware of the lesson without letting past mishaps undermine your self-confidence.

Problems With No Solution

Famous poet Maya Angelou wrote that hate has caused a lot of problems in the world but it hasn't solved any yet. When you hear it, you certainly agree. But... how many do really believe this to be true? If everybody did, the world, your environment, even your family would be much happier places. Maybe you are not experiencing real "hate", but often even lighter negative feelings can destroy the peace. Judgement, resentment, intolerance, prevarication, need for control, victimism etc. are all attitudes that, like hate, cause problems without indicating any possibility of solution. Each is a status quo  that perpetuates turmoil and unhappiness.

Tolerance, yes or no?

A word that these days I find particularly difficult to deal with (due to a certain kind of news they keep shoving under my nose) is "tolerance". I can't help wondering if it should be applied to absolutely everything. ("They" are trying to convince me that I should). I clearly have some specific examples in mind that I won't mention here for the sake of decency, but I invite you to think of something you consider unacceptable according to your principles (whatever they are) and check if you are ready (and willing) to be tolerant. I realize that tolerance is a bit different from acceptance, still...

Changing Weather

As the weather changes according to the seasons, so does your way of perceiving the world. If you think for a moment about when you were a teenager, you will easily realize that the way you considered the environment around you was very different from your present perception. Even when you were not a teenager any more, but still younger than you are now, you used to see circumstances and people from a different perspective. According to your present age, why don't you try to discover how your general view of the world has changed through the years? It is a useful exercise that will show you how nothing is forever. Not even your own "self" (i.e. how and what you believe you are). 

Hasty Judgement

Ask yourself how many of your beliefs give you problems. What beliefs? you may ask. All the pre-conceived ideas you have about people, things or situations. When you get an impression about something or someone, you tend to create a "belief" around it. You decide "how" such a thing or such a person is. You "label" it as good or bad according to the pleasure or the dis-pleasure you get from it. You seldom take the time to examine the situation more deeply. This hasty judgment is often wrong and it can easily be the cause of misunderstandings, unfairness, even unhappiness.

Unfairness?

A question that no-one can avoid asking (some do it more often, others seldom) is: Why is Life unfair? An immediate sub-question arises: Is Life truly unfair or does it only seem so? Very difficult to answer. Probably impossible. Still we all - and you, too - wonder about this puzzle. If you are totally honest with yourself, you will admit that in most cases all the situations you have found yourself in are the consequence of something you, yourself, have done. In such cases, the apparent unfairness is only a logical consequence. In a few cases, though, it's impossible to detect a reason, from an intellectual point of view. We cannot see a "logical" reason. Could there be another kind of reason? 

Too Much or Too Little

You may have noticed that, at times, nothing happens in your life and so you tend to feel bored. Other times too many things happen all at once, and you can't help feeling overwhelmed. A consideration comes to mind: why isn't Life more balanced? It seems a contradiction with Nature's usual poise and harmony. Everything should happen at the right time and in the correct measure. In fact, you see the alternation between day and night, or among the seasons. Everything seems to follow a perfect order. But don't forget that - every now and then - a sudden storm or a long period of drought happen: too much or too little rain. This can only mean that, in spite of the perfect rhythm of Nature, unforeseeable events take place because they all have a hidden reason, a cause of necessity. They "must" happen.

Think!

A good piece of advice: never be too outspoken with people. Later you might regret it. There are things that should be kept unsaid, words that should not be uttered. The need to share your feelings might bring you to disclose parts of yourself that had better remain "personal". You might in fact be disappointed because others do not always react the way you expected or behaved the way you would have liked. Do not forget that others are "not" you. In fact, they are not even to blame for your disappointment. As usual, the responsibility is yours.

Therefore next time... think before you open your mouth and, possibly, choose not to!

Generation Gap

Generation gap is a well known topic  which everybody is aware of. There is nothing mysterious about it because it is a natural thing. So, why am I reflecting upon it? Well, the fact is that, although all human beings must accept that their children - once they become adults - see the world in a totally different way, it is a bit sad to realize how big such gap can become. Parents and their offspring may grow so far apart that - although affection still exists between them - they are turned into virtual strangers. There is very little sharing because the young generation feels the need to affirm its total independence, does not want to be bothered by situations that do not concern them directly any more, loathe the idea of being told anything that might sound like advice or, worse, criticism. So, parents and children love each other ... while living on different galaxies.

Mysterious Brain

It happens that some people, whom you know to be normally intelligent, are unable to grasp certain specific notions. I wonder why. Such notions are neither particularly difficult nor are they expressed in a cryptic way. Yet...they just don't get it!

It is as if those individuals, although they can easily climb any hill with no effort, are unable to climb one specific hill - for no apparent reason. I keep being fascinated by the mysterious ways in which the human brain works. One person is excellent in cooking and can solve math problems, yet they cannot understand a simple grammar rule. Another  can speak three foreign languages or lift heavy weights but is unable to sew a stitch or hammer a nail. It is not a matter of intelligence and no special skills are required. So, what is it?