Devotion

I consider the word "devotion" rather puzzling. It can have several meanings. One is faithfulness to a cause, another is worship of a deity, or dedication to someone's well-being. But some people who have devotion often fall into the trap of identifying it with fanaticism. They end up blinded by the rules, obligations and prohibitions imposed upon them, believing that following the prescriptions to the letter is enough to make them "perfect". In so doing, they stop leading a healthy, normal life. At times, blind faith in an ideal (originally good) turns its followers into extremists whose goals justify the means, as 16th century Italian politician Machiavelli wrote. But... is this true, fair, ethical?

"Original" Is Better

“Be yourself. The world worships the original.” (Ingrid Bergman) “Always be a first version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” (Judy Garland)

These actresses have certainly been true originals, creating a personal, unmistakable style. They had determination to be who they wanted to be, who they believed they should be. This is what mainly counts: to be honest towards yourself and only endeavor to express your convictions, your deepest feelings, without accepting to be conditioned by what others say or do. If you agree with them, no problem. But if you conform only in order to be accepted as “one of them”, you are betraying who you really are. You become a copy of somebody else, a fake double who will always be compared to the “original”. 

The above mentioned actresses will never be mistaken for someone else. But.. think of the many Hollywood starlets who look all so alike that you can’t almost distinguish one from another. Same hair, same body, same smile….Who would you rather be? 

Help Yourself!

It seems that nowadays we can learn to do almost anything by “ourselves”. Go to any bookstore and see how many do-it-yourself books are there. You can learn how to grow a vegetable garden, how to obtain a better body, how to get a more charming personality, how to make your house more elegant, how to build a shelf, to straighten your hair, how… how…I wonder if spiritual stuff can be taught as well. Certainly, some may say. Look at all the self-help books available on the market! (I, myself, have written quite a few). But...Do they really work? Do people learn to love more, to be more understanding, less egotistic? Can these things be actually taught and learned? I’m not sure. A sort of “help” can be given, but what counts is your personal willingness to learn, to try and finally…change whatever needs to be changed inside yourself. The main point is this: You are the only one who can make things happen. Don’t blame the book, the article or the speaker if things don’t improve in your life. They only say what they know, what works for "them". 

Not Everybody!

I liked these words spoken by a scientist in a documentary I watched.

“We possess a natural curiosity  of the world around us. We want to know how and why things are the way they are. Our curiosity is beneficial, it is important to ask why an event happened and what caused it. Our curiosity gives us the ability to look beyond the present moment. From that, evolved an urge to look for causes. In fact, we can’t conceive something that does not have a cause.”

Interesting words indeed. Unfortunately, most people do not have such curiosity to learn, to discover, to "know". They prefer to stand or sit where they are rather than move. They find it more comfortable and secure. They want to take no risks, neither material nor intellectual.

"Please, Release Me..."

The lyrics of a famous song say, "Please, release me, let me go..." These words come to my mind every time I think about the subject of holding on versus releasing. If your subconscious keeps you tied down to a worrying situation which you cannot do anything about, try some self-talk. If you repeat over and over that letting go is better than holding on, you might finally convince the deepest part of your "self" and succeed in releasing the worrisome  thought. The useless effort of trying to find a solution where there is none is a heavy burden on your spirit. Endeavor to avoid it at all costs.

Rituals, Why?

I have often wondered about the importance of rituals, about why many people seem to need them.  With "rituals" we usually refer to religious rites which are carried out in a certain way, repeatedly. In the repetitions of words and acts, the faithful reinforce their beliefs, they feel reassured in their faith, and this makes them experience a spiritual "belonging" to a like-minded and like-hearted community. But also daily routines can be considered a sort of ritual because they, too, are carried out in exactly the same way, day after day. In this case, it is mainly a matter of habit, necessary to a certain extent, where the individual does the same things, performs the same actions regularly, due to a precise and well-established lifestyle. Even if there is the possibility of changing the way some actions are carried out, most prefer not to try the new because the old makes them feel "secure".

Beguiling Gut Feeling

Have you ever experienced a very strong gut feeling towards something or someone? You just "knew" that you had to have that something or be with that someone. The feeling was so strong that you could not avoid doing whatever necessary to achieve your goal. Finally, you succeeded. Later, after the immediate jubilation, you started noticing that the outcome of your "achievement" was not what you had expected. You realized that the something you had been longing for was incapable of giving you true satisfaction, that the someone you "just knew" would make you happy, was not up to the job. Disappointment starts creeping into your awareness and your life seems a failure (without any fault on your part). You did your best, you followed your intuition. Yet, you were sort of "betrayed" by Life. Is this fair? Absolutely not! Is this a mysterious reality to be accepted? Totally... yes! (If you want to survive in an acceptable way.)

The "Size" of Suffering

I have made an observation connected to the universally known truth that suffering is an unavoidable facet of human life. When we talk about suffering, we usually refer to "big stuff" such as disease, accidents, financial problems, death, misfortune, i.e. any dramatic situation in general. My observation regards the fact that, even in the absence of any of the above, suffering is still present. Being caused by apparently negligible details in one's personal or family life does not change the fact that the individual "suffers". As beauty or harmony do not depend on the size of the object or the length of the symphony, so emotional pain can be as excruciating - no matter what its cause is.

Endless Chattering

Chattering, chattering, chattering... Most people talk too much, most of the time (especially on the phone!). It seems they are afraid of silence. Or maybe they do not know how positive keeping quiet can be. 

Talking is good, sharing is good but... not to such a great extent. Human beings seem to "need" to be in verbal contact with others, non-stop. The problem arises when they talk even when they have nothing to say. Idle talk is one way of wasting time, of spending it in a totally useless way. Every now and then silence can be more nurturing and fulfilling than a thousand words. Have you tried?

Unconscious Tension

Have you ever paid attention to how much (or, rather, how little) relaxed you usually are? Check it right now: see if your shoulders are contracted  to some extent, if your forehead is wrinkled, if your eyebrows are furrowed, if your jaw is clenched, if your foot is nervously moving up and down... 

Very seldom are you totally relaxed. Why? During your regular "state of being" you shouldn't need to burden any part of your body with useless tension and stress. Yet, you do it. Why? Probably because you always shelter a certain degree of unconscious tension. If you acknowledge it, you can relax your contracted muscles and feel much better. Your general mood will benefit as well.

Using Your Time

Spring is here, once again.  As every year, we once again become aware of how the seasons keep changing. And once again do we have the sudden realization of how time flows inexorably.

Time is the only thing that cannot be stopped, ever. This is what makes it so precious. How often do you forget it and waste minutes, hours, days (even longer) without making a good use of it?

There are so many things you can do to make a good use of your time: learning, loving, helping, creating, reflecting, enjoying...

Instead, you sometimes waste it in silly little worries, in gossip, in idleness... 

Can you make the important resolution of not wasting any more time today and, possibly, ever again? 

The Importance of "Word"

How important is your "word"? (The word you give others and the word you give yourself.)

Do you keep your promises or do you easily forget about them?

Can the people who have to do with you depend on what you say?

Many believe that keeping their word is not important. They don't give it the value it deserves. They do not realize that, in so doing, they lose credibility. In fact, as you never know if you can trust them, you usually don't. How sad. 

I have often wondered if such individuals are ever aware that this kind of behavior affects their "position" on the ladder of human worth. They must be totally unaware. And, probably, they don't even care.

Disappointing Gift

Have you ever received a gift that, in spite of its alluring presentation, disappointed you? The "outside" was beautiful but the "inside" was not what you had hoped for. It happens with people as well. You meet someone who is cheerful and funny in public, but dull and withdrawn in private. Another can be kind and sweet with acquaintances but rude and/or careless with their dear ones. The appearance deceives, says the proverb and - quite often - so it is. Just like some fruit that may appear perfect when you "look" at it, but which may also be totally "blah" when you venture to eat it.

Ring Around The Rosie

Have you ever imagined your life as the children's game "Ring Around The Rosie"? Picture the people you have met and known since you can recall. There are some you remember with pleasure, some with loathe, others with indifference. Yet, they have all had an impact in the way you experienced life.

With the eyes of your mind, picture them now (as many as you can remember), see them going around in a circle, with you at the center (you may add imaginary music). Examine the feelings that such an image arouses.

P.S. This reflection is suggested to me by the final scene of Italian director Fellini's movie "8  1/2 ", that has always mesmerized me.