One Path To Happiness

“By the way, what is happiness?”, asks Charlie Brown, the funny, yet philosophical cartoon character. Yes, indeed. What is it? Have you ever wondered and tried to find a suitable answer? You might have come up with a definition of “pleasure”, of “satisfaction”, but these are only temporary feelings. “Happiness” is something else, if it really exists. We wont’ try to define it here, either. But we can start by examining one feeling that certainly deprives human beings of the serenity they need to move towards happiness. Such feeling is called “the need to judge”. Have you ever endeavored to look at reality with “neutral eyes”, i.e. without judging anybody and anything, accepting what you see, what is happening, the way people are –  without wishing to change them? If you try and shake all judgment off, you will feel lighter, as if a heavy burden has fallen off your shoulders. You will experience PEACE. Judging (and often “condemning”) is an awfully hard job to do. You seem to believe that it’s the only way to live your life but, in so doing, you miss seeing one of the paths that can lead you towards the main street called “Happiness”.

Less Separation

Has it ever happened to you to look at people not as passing shadows, but as “real” individuals – the same as you? Although you have never met them, you don’t know their stories, sometime (quite seldom, though!) you feel a sort of connection, an awareness of them being just like you, human beings who are experiencing life, each with their challenges, just as you are. Can this awareness help create a greater understanding, a deeper feeling of “oneness”? Let us hope so. You can’t honestly say that you already feel this kind of oneness with your fellow humans, but trying to see them in a new light, under a different perspective might be a first step. What is the “new light”? You could start by considering them not as clearly separated from you as you usually do. “They” and “I”, with a straight division line in between.The world needs to feel more united, people need to experience fewer selfish feelings of “mine” and more feelings of “ours”. More empathy toward each other should be the next step in everybody’s life.

The Right Answer

Many questions about geography, history, science etc.. can be easily answered by simply going on the Internet.  Even if you ask about who you are and what the purpose of your life is, about how far you should go in trying to make your marriage work or about how you should raise your child or behave toward others, you will find someone ready to give you “the” answer. The problem is that for such topics not “one” answer is suitable for everyone. You feel that the books you read and the inspirational talks you listen to are not providing you with the solution you need. Why? Simply because what others say or write is the answer they found for themselves, according to “who they are”. Are their explanations able to convince you and practically help you? They may or they may not. They can certainly assist you in formulating the problem, they can provide you with theories, but they are unable to give you "your own" answer, the one suitable for you. A teacher can show you the direction, but the actual path towards self-improvement must be found by you, with your own means. No one else can do it for you. The discovery of something “original” is the result of original, personal thought.

Imagine!

Einstein said that imagination is more important than knowledge. What you “know” for sure is certainly significant, but what your mind can conceive is even more meaningful. Reality “is”. Imagination makes you see what “can be”. If human beings had not used imagination, nothing would have ever changed. Mind - therefore thought - has the power to make you do anything you want. It can keep you down and it can raise you up. So, how come that you keep sitting on the first rung of the ladder of spiritual progress? Possibly you haven’t  even “seen” the ladder, the tool you need to rise, to change, to improve yourself and, consequently, your life. It is easier to remain stuck on the lower level, complaining about a situation you don’t like, an unhealthy relationship, an unfulfilling job, rather than do something about it. Are “you” doing something about what you don’t like in your life? Can you imagine, (= create with your mind) a way of solving whatever is bothering you? 

Lion In A Cage

Sometime you say that you don’t believe you are the way others seem to see you. But usually … “you are”! It's possible that others perceive traits of your character that you are unable of seeing. In reality, you are able of being what you want, although you are usually unaware of it. Think about when you  complain about this and that. Whenever you do it, you admit you are feeling powerless, you see yourself as a victim of the situation. You feel you cannot do anything about it. You feel imprisoned by circumstances, therefore you can’t be who you want to be. Consequently, you are like a lion in a cage. The good news is that, if you try to free yourself, you’ll realize that the cage is not real, it only exists in your imagination. If you endeavor to do a little more that you are used to doing, you’ll see that your potential is much greater than you think. Circumstances can be changed, problems can be solved. All you need in order to carry out this process is to become AWARE, i.e. to start seeing the world and yourself without the dark lenses of conditioning.

Communication Is The key

Have you noticed that people (and you, too) usually prefer to talk rather than listen? One time YOU talk and the others aren’t paying attention, and the next time THEY are talking and your mind is elsewhere. Should we therefore be surprised by the lack of true dialog, of compassion and understanding that seems to be so widely spread nowadays? Most  people appear to be contented (but are they really?) living in their cozy little “cell”, the tiny, self-centered space they have created, where they have no need for true communication. Other times, even if you are actually listening to what someone else is saying, you understand something totally different from what they meant. Their words have a definite meaning for them, which is not what “you” perceive. How is this possible? Words are words and they should have the same meaning for everybody. Yes, they should. But sometimes they don’t. Do you remember that time when you said (or he said), “You got it wrong!” or “It’s not what I meant!”. An improved way to communicate will greatly benefit the whole world. Shall WE start to establish a better “connection” with our interlocutors?

Helping Others Can Be Tricky

When you talk about something that you tried but did not succeed, you love to say, "I did my best" and with this you believe you are amply justified. Now, if you really think about it, you should wonder if doing your best is really enough. Sometimes it seems that, although you honestly believe that you have said and done the right think, maybe it is not totally so. As the result is quite different (sometimes even the opposite) of what you expected or hoped for, a doubt might arise about the rightfulness of your action. How come? Difficult to say. The real problem is that we are all different. My motivations and needs are not the same as yours, and yours are different from mine. They might even be in contrast. Therefore you tend to "honestly" believe that what is good for you should be good for everybody else. But this is not the case. So... be careful when trying to do good to your fellow humans. You might end up harming them rather than helping them.

Life: Water or Seagull?

Is there a river near the place where you live? Observe it for a while. Or just imagine looking at the flowing water that runs towards the ocean. It seems to invite you to reflect upon your life, on how it flows, eternally, with no possibility of stopping it even for an instant, nor having it go back even a few inches. Everything goes forward, everything moves ahead and you can't but "allow" it, because life's movement is not for you, or for anybody, to determine. You can only decide on "how" to move, on how to "go with the flow". But if you try to stop it, you will be dragged away by the strength of the current. If you choose to swim without knowing how, you will have a hard time staying afloat. You could also decide to be carried by someone else, but in so doing you will miss the thrill of the swim. Some fools might even try to swim "against" the current, ending up... who knows where (but surely not where they had planned of going!). If you wisely decide to swim "with" the flow, you will be able to drift like a seagull and move freely through the sky, with neither boundaries nor restrictions. In this way, you will "peacefully" reach the ocean, or the top of a mountain, i.e. your final destination.

Drop The "Yoke"

It seems that nowadays "peace" is something difficult to locate, to experience, to create. All around, you mainly see conflict, misunderstanding, fighting and quarreling. Although you are unable to practically do something to change the outside situation, you can at least try to change your inner state. When you feel stressed, depressed, agitated, nervous, you long for peace. So you try looking for it. But "finding" peace is not really feasible because you cannot look for peace. Why? Because it has never been lost or hidden, therefore it can’t be found. It exists, and it has always existed inside of you – as it is your “nature”.  The outside circumstances may try to show you the opposite, but you need to be aware of the truth. Your task is to admit the existence of peace inside of you, become aware of it, bring it to light, acknowledge it , accept it and... live it. Does this sound too easy... or too difficult? Actually, it is neither. You only need to examine yourself and find out what is preventing you from experiencing serenity. Once you drop the useless load of worries, conditioning and pre-conceived ideas that you keep carrying around (like a yoke around your neck) you’ll see how light and peaceful you can feel and "be".  

Wise Guys

Sometimes people who know a lot tend to believe that they know everything. Have you noticed that some of them simply have to always be right? And they have to make sure that you know it, as well. Therefore they never miss the chance to make you notice your error, if there actually was one. Have you sometimes tried to express an opinion that does not agree with theirs? No? Good for you. Yes? So, what happens then? Instead of appreciating what you know on the subject, although they don't particularly like it, they have to state all the details needed to show how wrong you are. Another scenario: if you change your opinion about something you said in the past, they seem to feel a tiny, but almost sadistic pleasure in immediately reminding you of your previous choice, so that you know that  ... they remember! Consequently, you are almost led into believing that you don't have a steady mind. Wow. Isn't this a petty way of dealing with others? If you tell them, they of course deny it and justify themselves by explaining that either they were joking or they were just straightening things up. Well, when you have to deal with this kind of "know-it-all", I wouldn't be surprised if you lose all desire to express your opinion or even to start a conversation with them. In fact you already expect that, if you dare to say something different from their infallible assertions, they will immediately answer back with a  a wise-guy correction.

Awaiting The Future

One thing people worry about is "The Future". It is understandable, because what is unknown is always a little scary. And you don't like the feeling of "not knowing", do you? Anyway, when you think about tomorrow, or next month, or next year, what do you forecast? Do you believe it will fulfill its promises or are you afraid it might bring “bad news”? If you realize that it's your attitude that, this very moment, is already shaping what you will experience next, you might feel encouraged to believe that it's in your power to do something about it. Perhaps you won't be able to totally "change" what is coming, but you will certainly be better prepared to face what will materialize next. As a matter of fact, the future doesn't even "exist". In fact, when it arrives, it’s NOW. All the rest is speculation. Perhaps you believe that you won’t have time to do all the things you want to do, that you might be unable to do them, that situations will worsen, that your health will decay... All sensible thoughts, BUT they should not become worries. Just possibilities that might materialize, or might NOT, but which sometime are beyond your control, so...Why worry? If you do your best today, “Tomorrow will take care of itself.”  Attitude is what really matters, along with your priorities about what is really important.

Modern Heroes

Who were the heroes of the past? Are they the people who contributed to education, to the progress of mankind? Philosophers, leaders, generals, authors, composers, artists, scientists? Plato, Caesar, Napoleon, Shakespeare, Beethoven, Renoir, Newton? I wouldn't know and I wouldn't dare to actually decide on any names. I wasn't there, so I am not able to say anything for sure. But I am here, now, and I see who the heroes presently seem to be. I use the word "hero" in a way that does not actually correspond to the dictionary definition (a person who is admired for courage or noble qualities). Who are today's heroes? Some athletes, but mainly film and "reality" stars, singers, show-people. I believe this is about all. The philosophers and scientists we have nowadays are largely ignored by the majority, classic musicians may be only known for their skills in playing an instrument rather than for actually composing music, generals either stay in their headquarters or lead largely unpopular wars there is nothing to admire about, and so on. Therefore who are especially young people looking up to? Wow! Plenty of shining stars, whom fans know absolutely everything about, i.e. not only what they do in their (sometimes questionable ) performances but also what they wear in everyday life, what they say when they order dinner! They know by heart facts of their private lives, collect their photos, posters, memorabilia etc. Therefore it's not only admiration for their skills (if they really have any!). Modern fans end up idolizing the artist and the person, they take him or her as a model, wish they would be like them and do not realize how fake (and often unhappy) their lives are, how dull is the metal that looks so sparkling under the spotlight. 

Who Is Right? Who is Wrong?

If I look around, at people and countries, I can't help thinking of how different we all are. It might seem that we don’t even belong to the same “species”. It might seem we come from different worlds. It is amazing to observe the myriads of creeds (religions and kinds of spirituality), mentalities (ways of interpreting the meaning of life), behaviors (ways to deal with others). It’s almost unbelievable how people can think and act in manners that are diametrically opposed to each other. It seems that what is right for one is wrong for another and viceversa. Are we all “right”? Are we all “wrong”? Are we sometimes right and sometimes wrong? Finally, and most importantly, is there a possibility to understand each other? We try to convince ourselves that we have found a common ground, but have we really? Isn’t it rather a “giving up” from one side or the other? Everyone hopes that true peace and understanding will one day be achieved on this Earth. I hope it, too. Unfortunately, I'm not too sure that it will ever be possible. At least not until each of us keeps saying "I" and "mine" ... endlessly.