On Safe Ground

One of the problems of most human beings is that they have ideas they are unwilling to revise and possibly change. It’s possible that you, too, believe that you are always right, that what you think is correct, that your opinions are the most logical ones and that no-one has the right to challenge them because you “know” they are right. As long as you are convinced of this, neither change nor improvement are possible. You have locked yourself in a castle of righteousness (your beliefs) and you have surrounded it with a thick wall (certitude that you are never wrong). Therefore, you feel secure inside such barrier and you don’t realize that, in so doing, you prevent yourself from being free to explore, to move around, to learn. Why is it so? It is so because you are afraid of what is new, different, unfamiliar. Your well-tested ideas make you feel comfortable because you “know” them, because they don’t present you with any uncertainty. You feel you are walking on safe ground. 

Everything Affects You

Words are more important than you might think. Not the actual meaning of words is relevant, but the impact they have on your spirit and, consequently, on your mood. The expressions you use when you speak to others and, even more important, when you talk to yourself, determine how you feel because they express your way of thinking. For example, if you preferably use critical, derogatory terms when describing others, yourself or situations (I hate… How stupid…. and worse!) your offensive language has a direct effect on your personality and on your behavior. Reflect for a moment on what you like to think most and what kind of people you love to mix with. If you are honest with yourself, such a reflection should show you clearly what is the atmosphere you live in, what is the environment you chose and created for your daily life. Believing that words have no consequence is incorrect, because they do. Believing that you are not affected by the people you choose to spend time with is incorrect as well. Absolutely everything and everyone that has a place in your life, affects “you”. 

Food

You are aware that you should avoid feeding your body unhealthy food. What about the “food” you provide your mind with? Such 'food' is everything you see, hear, read talk about, think. According to what your mental state is, so your true ‘self’ will feel. When you keep eating unhealthy food, you don’t feel well, you may even develop a disease. Similarly, when you keep watching, reading, talking, thinking about spiritually unhealthy stuff such as violent, criminal, immoral issues, your mind will be poisoned and corrupted. As a result, you will feel uneasy, depressed, unhappy. You might deny it, you might say that you have to keep up with the modern trends of society, and therefore you must listen to those news, read those books or watch those movies / TV programs which make you see the world as an ugly place. Although evil and negativity do exist, they are not the majority. So, why not focus on the good and the positive? 

Qualities and Skills

Every human being has an opinion about him/herself. In spite of what they show the world, each has a clear idea of what he or she actually “is”. And when you think about yourself as an individual, you certainly include your “potential”, your capability to understand, to create, to generally succeed in life. Ask yourself, “What potential do I believe I have?” Low? Medium? High? Examine the results you have obtained in your life up to now and see if you are satisfied with them. Make a list of both the qualities that made you reach such results and of the flaws that caused your failures. If you believed more in yourself, what could you do? You might be surprised to discover that you may have more skills than you previously believed you had. 

Self-Belief

There are people who believe they are able of doing anything, they see themselves destined to achieve the highest success in their lives. Others don’t trust themselves at all and believe they are predestined to failure. They see themselves as born losers, so they never try anything challenging because they believe they have no chance to succeed. A third category includes those who believe they “could” be successful because they have a feeble feeling of self-worth. They have some confidence in their own abilities but don't dare to try anything new because they fear defeat. The people who don’t trust their own potential are blocked in front of any challenge or trial, they don’t step on any new possible path. What about you?

Values

"Do I know what my real values are?" This is an important question to ask yourself, but whose answer you might believe you know, while you probably don’t. Most human beings are quite superficial and prefer to stop and look at what is clearly visible, and don’t even think of the possibility that - in reality - something may be totally different from what they expected. Where they believe there is generosity, they might discover that there is rather a sense of superiority, a desire to be admired, a lack of self-esteem, a need of validation… It is so easy to be deceived by appearances! Therefore, examine yourself and try to discover the truth about your true values. 

Evaluation Time

The end of this year is getting closer and closer...every day. It's time (again!) to check your life out and see how you have done so far. Are you satisfied with where you see yourself right now? Have you carried out whatever plan you had in the last twelve months? Be brave and make an assessment of your achievements. Whatever result you get, be glad that you are still here, able to think about it. If you need to do something else, add, eliminate or change any detail in your life, it's time to start thinking about it - seriously.

Reality vs. Perception

After pondering about the capability of human beings to understand and learn, I’ve come to this conclusion: it’s impossible to really “know” anything. In spite of scientific findings, in spite of philosophical reasoning, in spite of inner examination, we are incapable of really understanding anything in its reality. We have simple glimpses of “what is”, because we can't help making use of our personal ideas, beliefs, opinions, judgments, tastes. Therefore what we consider knowledge is just our 'impression', our perception or interpretation of what we are experiencing. Does this make us wrong? Not totally, because we are entitled to our own way of interpreting the world. Nevertheless, we also need to accept the fact that our personal "view" does not entitle us to deny, criticize or refuse someone else's.

Inner/Outer Contradiction

A consideration that might be useful for you to understand yourself and your life better could be, “Am I truly satisfied with the way I am?”. It's possible that, at first, you feel somewhat confused because at times you feel that you are, other times that you aren’t. Why? Simply because your actions, reactions, words or even just feelings not always correspond to your true 'self'. It would be interesting to know why this happens, i.e. why sometimes you (like everybody else, for that matter) are incapable of expressing yourself in the right way. You speak or behave in ways that you later regret, and end up blaming, putting yourself down or feeling guilty. This undeniable contradiction that appears to exist in all human beings is a trait that must be dealt with. Is it possible to do it? It seems it is. And a deep self-examination might help.

Winner or Loser?

Here is a hard question that might be difficult for you to answer because you have to be totally honest with yourself. And total honesty is not so easy, especially in certain cases, when you are afraid of facing the truth. The question to ask yourself is, “By observing what I have done and achieved up to now, do I see myself more as a winner or as a loser?”. Before answering, though, reflect upon the definitions of winner and loser. One of the definitions of 'winner' that you find in the dictionary is "one who is successful" (= accomplishing an aim or purpose). 'Loser' is the person who is 'defeated' (= beaten in a contest or overcome by adversity). Now... it's up to you to decide. 

Possible Change

Imagine yourself as a judge who must make their judgement known. After examining the way you have lived up to now, you should be able to give your verdict relevant to the question “How do I judge my own life?”. Think about the crucial points in your existence such as childhood, family, school, friends, job(s), relationships. In spite of the natural ups and downs of circumstances or situations, a general ‘thread’ seems to link them all. Therefore, do you see your life as more fulfilling or more disappointing? In either case, you might wish to make some changes. Thus, identify the specific areas where you think an adjustment could be beneficial, and ask yourself, “Do I believe in my capability of making any changes in my life?”. If your answer is yes, devise the best way to do it. That's all.

Self-Improvement

People usually see faults and flaws in others, rarely in themselves. Rather than following their intuition, whose ‘voice’ is thinner and gets easily covered up by a louder one, they listen to their instinct and believe that everything they think, say and do is correct. But… is it so? Is it always? You, too, may believe you are always right but, as you certainly aren’t, you might accept the idea of ‘improvement'. Examine yourself in depth and see if you think that such improvement could be beneficial. If you don't see any need, though, it means that you believe you are 'perfect' (in which case you are deceiving yourself!). But if you are more objective and realize that there is always a need for getting better, it's up to you to make the final decision, and act upon it.

The Value of Words

Too many people, nowadays, tend to minimize the importance of the words they utter. Sometimes they want to appear to know more than they actually do. Other times they are angry and feel the need to “express their feelings”, so they don't care about how they express themselves. It also happens that  some individuals say things they don't mean or  'give their word' but don' keep it. In this way, they show that they don't attribute any value to what they say. The language you use should be considered 1. as a precious gift because it makes you able to communicate with those who are in your life, 2. as a fantastic tool that allows you to put your thoughts, ideas, feelings, creativity etc. into sounds that make others participate in your sharing. Shouldn’t you be grateful, thoughtful and, most of all, careful about how you make use of it?

A Slight Blemish

Some people are used to seeing the world “in back”, i.e. focusing mainly on the negative aspects of life. They look in the mirror, see a slight blemish on their skin (a spot, a scar, a wrinkle) and, instead of accepting it as a characteristic of their face (that others might even find attractive because it makes them special), they insist in considering it a flaw. They convey their attention on trying to hide it or eliminate it, no matter what. Does this happen to you? If it does, you might consider opening your eyes and change your perspective. If you look at things as they really are, you also understand that what appears to you as a disagreeable reality is just “what is”. It becomes important only if you make the choice to consider it as such. Most probably your fellow human beings whose judgment you are afraid of, have not even noticed what worries you so much. If you just relax, life becomes much easier, less stressful and definitely more pleasant.

What the World Needs

In a short movie made by young students, a boy says: Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes "you" happy. The world needs people who are happy. Words to be pondered, aren't they? If you are not happy (= serene, contented, fulfilled), you cannot have a positive attitude and create a positive atmosphere around you. To be 'happy', though, you need to find out what can make you so. This means that you must endeavor to discover your passion, what you really want to do. It is not always easy. Too many conditionings, solicitations, stimuli can make you unable to hear what your deeper self tries to tell you. The lure of success, money etc. can easily convince you to accept compromises that you believe can grant you all you need to be happy. Beware!

Meaning of Words

So, what does the word ‘homeland’ mean? Does it really represent the place able to move the soldier’s feelings of love and tenderness? What does the word 'love' really mean? Is it a feeling deep tenderness, affection, intimacy, desire to make another happy?Or are these words just a mixture of sounds that, by themselves, do not mean anything and have no real connection to the actual “thing” they are expected to describe? Words have taken a meaning that seems to be so independent that they are often an end to themselves. Many people, in fact, just love to hear the sound of their voices, they enjoy listening to themselves talk. It is possible that you (and each one of us) have committed this little “sin” from time to time, i.e. you talk for the sake of talking and not because you really have something to say or, at least, something meaningful. Unless you have a truly useful idea to express or a pleasant word to utter, it would maybe be better to remain silent. 

'Homeland'

We believe that, since prehistoric times, language was invented for the need to communicate, that is to express ideas and describe real objects by means of sounds. Human beings wished therefore to represent the world of thought and of matter that surrounded them. A long road has been walked upon since then in the way people use to communicate with each other. But… has all this brought them to a greater “understanding”? Do words always mean something? Here is a funny - explanatory - anecdote: A soldier was kept prisoner in the enemy camp. One day they told him that he would be taken to the border so that he could see his homeland that was lying beyond the barrier. When the soldier reached the spot, he was greatly moved and thought, “How wonderful is my homeland. Those are the villages, the fields and trees that I love!”  A little later, one of the guards approached him and said, “Sorry, friend, we made a mistake. Your homeland is a few kilometers away.”

Circumstances

When you think about the circumstances of your life, would you say that, up to now, they have been more positive or negative? Positive circumstances are those moments where you felt you had the chance to improve your situation, to express your feelings, to put your skills into practice, to make yourself heard and listened to. They were the times when you felt you were acknowledged, appreciated, loved, when you realized you “belonged”, when you made friends who were good for you. Negative circumstances are exactly the contrary of the above situations. It might be hard to remember these but it might also be rewarding and encouraging while assessing the situation. 

Beauty

Someone wrote: “Beauty is not a thing. It’s a way of looking at things”. Your problem as a human being is that you are always looking for “something”. You are practical, you live in a material world, therefore you must deal with things. When you look at a painting, you need to say “This painting is beautiful”, meaning that the colors are artistically blended, that the images are perfectly shaped, that the expressions on the faces of the people portrayed are natural. What you usually fail to “see” is the deep meaning behind the painting. You stop at the surface, you are contented with what your eyes see when you look at an art piece or what your ears hear when you listen to a symphony. Only when you succeed in going beyond what appears, can you understand and experience absolute beauty.  When you are able to admire a sunset, when you are in awe before a multicolored tree in the fall or a leaf wandering in the wind, when your soul is filled with wonder, your spirit is lifted to metaphysical heights. Beauty is everywhere and it can be found in art masterpieces, in nature wonders, as well as in the smallest or simplest 'whatever', if only human beings could learn how to really look.

Of Dreams and Beliefs

As dreams seem real while you are asleep, you experience all the feelings and emotions related to what is “happening”. The instant you wake up, though, you realize that everything took place only in your mind. Could it be the same in relation to what will happen after you leave this plane of existence? Most spiritual doctrines say it is. How do you feel about it? It is certainly not easy to have a definite opinion, a true belief in such esoteric considerations. Anyway, what is  a 'belief'? Is it something that you can 'create', one way or another, or is it something that just 'happens', independently from your will? Do you have total power of decision or certain things are as independent from your will as dreams?

Falling Leaves

While looking at the beautiful yellow/orange leaves falling to the ground, I couldn't help thinking about the imminent end of the trees'  yearly life cycle. They will remain still, apparently lifeless, during a well-deserved period of rest. But their life doesn't end: on the contrary, it will slowly regain strength and vitality till time will come for a new beginning, for a new birth in the shape of buds first, flowers next and, finally, the triumph of luscious green foliage. As Nature follows the same patterns in all its manifestations (just think of fractals, holographic images, the Fibonacci sequence), in a never-ending repetition of itself, is it possible that also human life can re-live in new 'editions' of itself, beside the individual natural offspring?

Knowledge

If you think about the meaning of the word 'knowledge', you will most probably agree with the definition the dictionary gives: "facts, information and skills acquired through experience or education". Basically, it means "learning", which - of course - is correct. But, if you reflect some more, you realize that there is another kind of knowledge. It is the deep knowing of your inner 'self', that feeling that makes you sure of what the right behavior is. You can call it also wisdom. If sometimes you don't follow such feeling because you are unaware of it, it doesn't mean it is not there. It is like an old poem you had memorized when you were younger and then forgotten. If you happen to think of it again, you will feel the words flow into your alert mind as if they had always been there, present. Because they had. And so is your inner knowledge. Always and forever.

Essence

What is the "essence" of something? You can say that it consists in the characteristics, the qualities that make something what it is. But not necessarily how it 'appears'. To make this concept clearer, think of an illusionist. When you see his tricks, you are brought to believe (even if just for a moment), that it is magic, that the illusion is reality. But what you see is the appearance of the trick, not its essence. The former deceives your eyes, the latter is skillfully hidden. Thus, if you consider what a good deed is, it seems that the exterior action is what counts. It may, but only to a certain extent. If its essence (the true feeling behind the action) is selfish, you are the illusionist who tricks himself.

A New Map

Till this moment you may have accepted to proceed without actually paying attention to your thoughts, acts, choices. If you become aware of this, and you commit yourself to make some 'adjustments' to improve the situation, things become easier and more natural. Once you re-mold your mental ‘form’, you see how your way of thinking, your usual interpretation of reality, each experience - either material or spiritual - becomes positively influenced. A new ‘road map’ can guide you in the right direction towards your goal. Just think seriously about where you want to go and and how you want to get there. There are so many new things to do, new ideas to explore, new experiences to welcome. Make the first step!

Theory Becomes Practice

If you let what you have always felt to be the truth come up to the surface of your spirit, you will allow yourself to accept positive suggestions not as just theoretical. You will become capable of applying them in every moment and in every circumstance. In so doing, your life is transformed through the re-programming of your mind. First you learn how to change your negative thoughts into positive ones. Then, as a direct consequence, also your way of expressing yourself changes, as well as your behavior. This change will make you available to welcome more favorable circumstances. Isn’t this what you wish for?

Forgotten Ideas

Only when you are able to transform fighting into harmonious, dance, can you start living better. But you need to be committed to the task. Furthermore, it is up to you to truly “believe” that this is possible  and make the effort to open your mind to make it ready to accept some ideas. These ideas have been shared for a long time, but it seems that they have been almost forgotten by many. People are too busy pursuing other goals, dreams that they have erroneously been brought to consider sources of happiness - while they are not.

The Art of Living

The daily challenges, the relationships with the others, the search for an always greater fulfillment – both material and spiritual – should not necessarily be a struggle. Nevertheless, this is exactly the way we usually interpret our lives. We picture ourselves as gladiators in the arena, surrounded by tigers and lions, or challenged by adversaries stronger than we are. We feel that we are continuously attacked, and from here our state of struggle arises. Such state causes either fear, mistrust and aggression, or weakness, submission, and cowardice. Some fight, others give up. Neither masters the art of living. 

To Live Well

The Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote, “The art of living is more similar to a fight than to a dance”. Is it really so? It seems it is, according to what we see around us and also inside of us. But… what does “the art of living” mean? It means “to live well”. To live well does not mean to live your life without problems, in a kind of ever-lasting limbo. This would be a rather empty and dull life. What makes our lives worth living is the fact that they are (or can be) always new. This implies a continuous confrontation with ourselves and with others. It is creativity and awareness.

Traveler's Choice

Imagine Life as an open space. On one side, you see a wide field where you are free to go wherever you want, to choose your direction, your pace and gait. On the other side you have some well-defined routes where each traveler is obliged to walk in a specific direction, at a fixed speed, moving in a certain way. And the arrival line is also there, set for you by someone else. Will you allow others to keep deciding on your behalf where to go and how to proceed? On the other hand, if you become truly aware of the actual situation, you also realize that you are capable of making your own life plan. The natural consequence of such realization is an action that will take you straight to the achievement of your goal. 

Start Line

In the great scenario of creation, your place is exactly where you are now, because here is the beginning of your new path, the place from which to take your next step. It is the perfect spot for your present "being" and it is also the start line for your "becoming". Once you are aware of this, you can't help feeling first grateful, then motivated to move forward because a new array of possibilities is spread in front of you. And you also realize that it's up to you to choose and act upon your choice.

Mouth? Ear?

Words, concepts and ideas need a suitable means for both the expression and the reception. When you are playing the role of the “mouth”, try to express yourself in the best way, clearly and convincingly. When you are the “ear”, listen with attention and endeavor to get as much benefit as you can from any positive input you are presented with. What matters is to be aware of when you have to be one or the other.

"See" Your Dreams

As long as you keep on believing that you cannot do it, that fantasizing is a useless exercise of the mind – that can only give you brief, mindless joy – you shall remain at the bottom of a deep well: the well of sloth, of spiritual laziness, weighed down by all your "I can't"s. Entertaining your dreams, accepting your wishes, welcoming your hopes are the best freeing actions, are the affirmation of independence, of individuality, of capacity. Your dreams affirm – in front of your very eyes – your potential as a human being. Every action, either small or big, every idea, invention, discovery, had its starting point in a "dream". 

From Mind To Heart

Some people are all in the mind (reasoning), others are all in the heart (spirit). The former believe that the mind is the only guide that can help you lead a purposeful life, the latter think that only following what your heart tells you can you find true peace. What about a middle way? As everything starts from a specific state of perception and then moves to a different (in this case higher) one, it's possible that the mind is the 'beginner' of spiritual evolution by simply allowing a human being to become truly aware of their actual (usually emotional) situation. Only when someone can see and assess such situation clearly, can they move on, and start listening to higher suggestions.

Directing Your Mind

Now let’s spend a few words talking about “thoughts”. Thinking – all the time – is a characteristic of the mind and no-one is able to “not” think (unless you are an exceptional meditator who is capable of reaching superior states of mental silence). A normal mind is continuously active, it never stops. Thoughts are things that are born, exist, develop and often digress, in a never-ending flow of  unspoken, but absolutely real words. Here a question arises, that you should ask yourself, “Am I in control of my thoughts?”. Analyze how your mind works, because such work does not develop in the same way for everybody. Try and see if you are able to lead your thoughts in the direction you want, or if you are unable to eliminate or just minimize nagging, annoying, tormenting thoughts. It's a useful exercise. 

Reason

An extremely challenging thought is suggested by 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant. At the beginning of his "Critique of Pure Reason" he states that reason's main feature is the compelling need to ask questions which - nevertheless - it cannot answer. As upsetting as this suggestion might be, its truth can't be denied. Ask yourself what are the things that you are certain of, that you can fully understand, and what are the things that you not only are not certain of, but that you cannot understand because there is no answer to the question concerning their existence, their 'functioning', or even their meaning. You might be tempted to believe that there is an answer to every question or, even if the answer is not available now, it will be - one day or another. But...can you be certain of this?

Stop!

You have often apologized, after an argument that degenerated into a verbal fight: “I didn’t mean what I said.” So, why did you say it? The fact that you were upset is no excuse. Words are important and – along with  your consequent behavior – define how your fellow human beings see, perceive and judge you. What can be done? Simple. Try to be aware of what you are going to say "before" you say it. Acting instinctively can be useful at times, but not always. It helps you if you feel in danger and take action to protect yourself without even thinking about it. But when you are faced with a normal, every-day situation, you have the choice to stop yourself and 'think'.

Hair & Life

A parallel could be made between hair-care and Life. At times life becomes dull, exactly like your air when it needs color and trim. You don't like the way things are going, as you don't like the way your hair makes you look. There is no "shape", everything appears mediocre and zest-less. Then you make an appointment with your hairdresser and, in a couple of hours, you come out as a new person. You look well-groomed, beautiful, just "right". Similarly, when you decide to do something about your mood, and remind yourself about your worth, about what life can still offer, about all your assets, Life starts to feel "right" again. Cool!

The Power of Words

At times, words rise to become symbols of something that only exists in the mind of the individual. Terms such as “love” “honor”, “country”, for example, can be quoted to give life to erudite disquisitions. Even when you just say “I love you” to a dear one, are you aware of the implications that such sentence has (or should have)? Do you realize that, by saying it, you take on certain responsibilities that you should feel obliged to fulfill now and forever? Therefore, ask yourself what you truly mean when you tell someone that you care for them, when you mention words such as “honesty”, “loyalty”, “faithfulness”, “duty” etc. If you catch yourself using one of these terms, stop for a second and make a quick exam of the significance of what you are saying. And, most of all, do you really mean it?

Dissatisfaction

Yes, Life can be difficult. There are times when everything seems to be going smoothly. You are satisfied with what you have, with what you are, with the people you deal with, with the circumstances you are living in. Unfortunately, there are plenty of times when you are not satisfied at all. On the contrary. Most things seem to be going wrong and you are not happy. You are not satisfied with what you have because you feel you don’t have enough; you are not satisfied with what you are because you feel you are not behaving in the right way (but you don’t know otherwise). The people around you seem unpleasant, situations difficult to face, problems impossible to solve. Imagine yourself facing a difficult situation, now, and ask yourself, “How do I face a predicament?” (With courage or with fear? With resentment or hopelessness? With rejection or with the expectation that others solve it for me?)

A Puzzling Word

The word "devotion" is rather puzzling. It can have several meanings. One is faithfulness to a cause, another could be worship of a deity,  a political idea, or dedication to someone's well-being. But some people who have devotion often fall into the trap of identifying it with fanaticism and end up blinded by the 'rules', obligations and prohibitions imposed upon them. In so doing, they stop leading a healthy, 'normal' life. Others may believe that following the prescriptions to the letter is enough to make them 'perfect'. At times, blind faith in an ideal (originally good) turns its followers into extremists whose goals justify the means, as 16th century Italian politician Machiavelli wrote. But... is all this true, fair, ethical?

Tough Question

The present year is moving - quite fast - towards its end. Summer is almost over and soon leaves will start changing color on the trees. A feeling of completion will soon fill Nature and a reflection might spring up from your soul. Every year is a rung on the 'ladder' that symbolizes Life. When you climb a ladder, you move your feet higher and higher with the aim of reaching a specific place or point to carry out your chore. What about your life? Are you moving, regularly and steadily, towards your 'goal'? Do you have a goal? Are you aware of where you are going? In a nutshell, do you know what the meaning of your existence is? Nature seems to know. What about you, me, all of us?

New Learning

To learn anything new, you need three steps:

Accept the new idea.

Absorb it, make it your own until you thoroughly believe it.

Apply it in your life.

An example? If you often fight with a person close to you, examine the situation and see how the fight starts. If it is because - when he/she says something that you don’t like - you usually react in an aggressive or defensive way, tell yourself that

*you don’t need to take it personal

*you don’t need to prove your point at all costs

*it’s not worth it to get so upset over “stuff”.

It’s not that easy to do it but, if your motivation is strong enough, sooner or later you will decide to give it a try. And you will succeed.

Your Personality

If there are one or more traits in your personality you are not too happy with, change will not happen too easily. Why? Because the way you behave usually depends on what you think. Thoughts have been defined the building blocks of Life as what you think about most of the time determines how you live your life. This means that the thoughts you entertain create one specific kind of life. And the people you mix with, help you keep "things" as they are. As like attracts like, if you are a friendly person, you will tend to deal with friendly people and avoid withdrawn individuals. Similarly, if you like to complain, you will love to surround yourself with other complainers, so you can all be...unhappy together. Give it a thought. You might get some useful insight.

Change Something

Some people are lucky enough to have a job they love or activities they like and can choose from at leisure. If they are interested in finance or in teaching, they get a job in a bank or in a school. If they like gardening or exercising, they can afford a house with a garden or are truly committed to attending a gym regularly. What about you? Here is the question to ponder upon, Presently, am I doing what I really love doing? If - luckily - your answer is ‘yes’, acknowledge how fortunate you are and experience a feeling of gratitude. If your answer is ‘no’, ask yourself, Do I really wish to make a change? Or do you prefer to go on in the status quo? You may choose to stay where you are rather than face the hassle of change. On the other hand, if you don’t dismiss the possibility of change, you might endeavor to find out the real reason for such dissatisfaction and check out the possibility of making an adjustment.

Freedom of Choice

One of the main conditionings you have received is that, once you made a choice, you cannot change it. It is certainly necessary to think carefully before making a decision, because such decision will give origin to certain consequences for yourself and possibly for others. But this doesn’t mean that another choice does not exist. So the question here is, Am I sure that I always have a choice? If you reflect upon it, you may realize that you are often convinced that there is no choice at all, that you “must” follow the path that is set in front of you. A certain type of education, religious instructions, the general opinion heavily weigh on how you see  your personal freedom of choice. “Others” might have decided for you and made you believe that there is no other way except the one they want you to accept. Beware!

From Kindergarten to PhD

Let's say that you believe you can make your life better. Some change could help you to improve your daily existence and give you more serenity. It goes without saying that it will take some time and willful commitment. Life will not immediately become as sparkling as a diamond, though. Be happy if, from a simple piece of glass, it starts by becoming a crystal or a zircon. Change doesn't happen once and for all either. Nothing is forever. Although you feel that your first change is the perfect one, at a certain point you may realize that it is not enough any more. You need to move forward to the next step. So... go ahead and do it - because you can. By now, you have acquired the tools you need. Starting from kindergarten, you are reaching...even a PhD!

Two Kinds of Conditioning

If there is anything in your thinking that you would like to change, do you believe that it is possible? You may say: “I would like to change this trait in my character, but I just can't. I was born this way”. You are wrong. You were not created “this way”. You have become the way you are. How? Through all the conditionings you have received since birth. What kind of conditionings? Different kinds, some good, others not so good. Some could be considered good when you were a kid. The well-known “Don't talk to strangers” was useful when you were in primary school, but it can certainly not be carried out throughout your life, unless you want to become a hermit.  Some, such as moral and ethical principles, are certainly good all the way through. But quite a few are not. These are the ones that you kept on believing and that are now creating problems in your life. Care to find them out?

Actually Doing

Ask yourself how you could get what you want that you believe you are lacking. Many a times you consider something to be impossible to obtain because you don’t make the effort to analyze the situation in detail and try to gain awareness of your actual capabilities to reach your goal. When you have been led to believe that you have no real choice beside the one that is the most apparently acceptable and the result greatly differs from the one you had hoped for, what is your assessment? Do you tend to feel a victim of the circumstances? You may think: "It was not my fault / I couldn’t do it differently / There was nothing else I could do / They made me do it." Does any of these statements ring a bell? If it does, please re-think!

Liking What You Must Do

In case you are not happy with what you are presently doing, another interesting question to ask yourself might be: Do I believe it possible to start liking what I presently am compelled to do? Many people tend to complain about what they have to do, even if initially it had been their own choice. There is something in the human nature that encourages them to never be completely satisfied with what they have or do. A little wicked voice keeps whispering, “You could have more. You could do better.” Hence, the eternal human dissatisfaction. If this is also your situation, decide to analyze “what” is it exactly that you would do differently and  endeavor to find out “how” you could achieve such goal.