You are told that any feeling you experience depends only on yourself, i.e. on your reaction towards what happened. When something pleasant takes place, you are happy - so you experience a positive feeling. On the other hand, when something hurtful materializes in your life, you can't help feeling unhappy because your instinctive reaction is one of non-acceptance or resentment. The best attitude would be to understand the reason why it happened, and accept it willingly. But when someone hurt you, or disappointed you, in spite of your willingness to accept it, you can't help wondering about the position of the person who hurt or disappointed you. You have to be lenient all right, but... will the other ever realize that what they said or did had such an impact on your feelings? Of course, this is 'their' problem, still....
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