Garlic and Onions

It often happens that you see a certain situation quite clearly and try to explain it to you partner or colleague. You perceive what is the only logical path to follow in order to achieve a successful result. You intend to follow the best way to reach a specific goal. Yet, you are compelled to realize that some "others" are unable to share your vision, they cannot discern the situation through logical reasoning. You are moving on different tracks, often even in different directions. As an Italian saying warns you: "You ask about garlic and they answer you about onions"!

Give In

Although I often write about the necessity of commitment and perseverance, at times you may also be faced by the need to give in, to surrender to a situation when you realize that you are unable to get it your way. It is not weakness, it is wisdom. Learn how to distinguish between what is worth pursuing at all cost and what will end up by simply being a waste of time. A hilarious personal example? I uselessly tried to get numberless hairdressers to give me the haircut I had in mind. I never succeeded. Now I try no more and accept - with a smile - what I get. Such attitude can be used for "big" problems as well. The procedure is the same: willingly accept what you cannot change.

Cappuccino

A cute photo shows a cup of cappuccino with - on its surface - the caption, "Life is short, enjoy the coffee". That's really good advice! Life - either short or long - is what it is. But it's thoroughly up to you to make it good or bad, i.e. to enjoy it or suffer all the way through. Problems and challenges exist and you can't avoid them. But what you "can" avoid is to make your existence revolve around them. They are there, and you should do your best to face and, possibly, solve them. But you must also find the time to enjoy the little joys that every day offers you. A cappuccino, espresso, American / Turkish / Arabian / black /coffee?  A moka? A cup of tea? Yes! Whatever little "joy" is presented to you, don't just gulp it down. Savor it, appreciate it, be thankful for it. This is one of the ways to make your life more pleasant and (why not?) worth living.

Passion

One of the greatest blessings in life is to be able to do what you love. You love painting and you paint. You love teaching and you teach. You love writing and you write. And so on. Sometimes you are lucky enough to carry out your passion as an actual job. Other times this is not possible, but you can still use your skill as a hobby. In case you feel you were not given any such opportunity, do as witty Irish writer George Bernard Shaw suggests: Go out and "create" the opportunity. Many a times you wait for things to happen, for chances to materialize, for little baskets to come down from Heaven with a ready-made gift. It doesn't usually happen. You must look around, search, try, "make the effort". The final result will be thrilling!

Consistency

To be inconsistent means to say you will do something and then not do it, or  do something else, or start several projects without completing any. Your mind needs order, a well-defined plan and, most of all, it needs focus. This means that you should concentrate your attention on your goal and give it all your energy, either physical or intellectual (or both). When you are truly motivated, your capabilities are enhanced and you become able to make the best use of any talent you are endowed with, may it be writing or speaking, drawing or fixing stuff, teaching or just listening.

Stubbornness

Stubbornness is never a positive trait because it prevents you from seeing your mistakes and it therefore encourages you to persevere in a wrong behavior or judgement. You may persist in being stubborn because you erroneously believe that, by accepting another possibility, you might appear as weak. The opposite is true. Whoever is capable of admitting their own mistakes shows courage, open-mindedness and flexibility.

Success

Perseverance is necessary when you are pursuing a result that you believe you are capable of achieving. Even if you don’t obtain it right away, you must not give up because success is often just behind the corner. But you need to “will” it with all your might, without ever doubting the positive outcome. Failure means that something was missing in your action. As no-one is born to lose, success is always possible, provided the mind is set in the right direction.

Inspiration

In every day’s life everyone needs a source of inspiration. You believe you are self-sufficient and you are, but not totally. You know how to think and act in the way you reckon to be the best one, but the opinion of someone you trust and appreciate can help you clarify things about yourself. Besides, as you continuously receive different kinds of stimuli and solicitations from the external world (many of which are definitely non-positive), it is advisable to listen to, read or watch something uplifting on a daily basis, to counteract the effect of all the negative stuff that affects your psyche and, consequently, your mood and behavior.

Old Stuff

There are those who, when they hear someone speak about the so-called Positive Thinking, smile with commiseration and say, "It's old stuff". Totally true. It's old stuff, everybody has heard it, there is nothing new. The point is: how many are applying such principles in their lives? How many have been able to make beneficial changes in their existence? Are you one of those who say, "I know it!" but do nothing about it? Knowing is useful only if such knowledge is acted upon in order to achieve a good result. If it remains a simple thought, it is completely useless.

Choice

There are two expressions that you should erase from your vocabulary: "I can't" and "I'll try". Both, in reality, mean "I don't want to do it". Do you disagree? Do you say that, at times, you really cannot do this or that (because you are too busy, because you don't have the necessary skill, because....). Even worse, you affirm that you will try (to lose weight, to start exercising, to change that bad habit, to...) while, deep inside, you know very well that it is just a pitiful attempt to hide your lack of commitment.  But, after all... why not? You  are free to choose how to lay out your own life.

Wise Living

Beliefs

I have often wondered about the actual value of "beliefs". I mean the value that someone's beliefs should have for others. Beliefs are something totally personal, therefore it seems logical that, if your belief does not sound true to me, I don't have to accept it or feel compelled to do so. But in real life things go differently. "They" (whoever they may be: congregations, any kind of groups and affiliations, even your best friend or your neighbor...) have the ability to make you feel guilty if you don't share their certitudes, if you dare think differently. What to do? Difficult to say. You can refuse them, and you will create enemies. You can ignore them, and you will be considered careless and conceited. You can be bold and clearly explain your thought, and you will probably be looked upon with pity (even contempt). Now... choose!

Once?

Do you agree on the famous saying, "You only live once"? We all usually do, probably because we don't really reflect upon the meaning of the word "live". If you consider it as the length of the period you walk on this Earth, the quote is true. But to live is something else. It consists in what you do every day, every hour, every instant of your existence. Living is a moment-by-moment experience that can be had and felt by every human being, as it extends and spreads throughout.... till the very end.

Worth

Benjamin Franklin said: "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing". I love it. It seems we have no choice. Whatever we do, it must be something "worthy", i.e. deserving. Deserving what? Definitely... consideration. A life, in whatever way it is lived, has to be meaningful, for both yourself and others. You cannot simply vegetate, living in a dull, inactive way, without producing anything beneficial. The "products" of life can be dissimilar, but it's ok, as long as they aren't useless. Don't waste your talents, either artistic, intellectual or practical. Anything can be useful, "worth". It's up to you to make it so. 

A List

Here is a quote I want to share. I believe it needs no comments. Just read it carefully and think about it. Too often do we forget how lucky we are.

1. Roof over my head
2. A favorite TV show
3. Someone who cares about me
4. Access to clean air and water
5. Food in the fridge
6. Music I love
7. Online inspiration
What's on your list?

Walking In The Rain

Have you ever been caught by a rainfall without an umbrella or raincoat? If you have, what happened? Did you simply get wet? At this point you might wonder what the point of such question is. "I certainly got wet, you will say, What else could I have done?". As strange as it might seem, there is an alternative. While still getting wet, you might have "walked and enjoyed" walking in the rain. I have, and I can tell you that it is a wonderful experience. Can we connect this with our daily life? Certainly. Whenever something sudden and possibly upsetting happens, you can choose to hate it, complain about it, try to avoid it and then... get disappointed. Or you can accept it willingly and... make the best of it.

Late Knowledge

Knowledge is something totally personal. No matter how much you try, you will never to able to actually "teach" anyone anything. All you can do is to present a notion, explain a rule, give a piece of information. But the act of really "learning" can be only carried out by the learner him/herself. Besides, there are certain things (I'm not referring to school subjects) that not everybody can learn at the same time or in the same way. A true knowledge of how to carry on in life, deal with people, face challenges - in a nutshell: on how to be a better human being - depends on the individuals themselves, on their natural disposition and on their physical and emotional environment. Therefore no-one should be blamed for their lateness in "learning". But a certain amount of willpower is required.

Trusting

Planning and organizing are great activities. Any wise individual likes to know what they are going to do and where they are going to go. Therefore their greatest wish is to always have everything under control. Sometimes it is possible, other times it just isn't. And when you realize that there are certain things that cannot be planned and organized "perfectly" according to your wishes, you should accept such reality willingly and...just trust! Trust what? Trust that, if you are honest to yourself, you will always be guided in the right direction, no matter what. Easier said than done, you may say. True, but it can also save you from a lot of disappointment.

Birthday

On your Birth-Day, do you usually make a sort of sum-up, a summary of your life? It might be interesting to remember your past challenges and assess the way you dealt with them, to bring back to memory the decisions you made that had a huge impact on your life. You may also specifically think about the last year and decide if you made use of it in the best way or if you missed out on several opportunities to fix things or to behave in a more beneficial or productive way. Last but not least: have you felt and expressed gratitude for another year that has been granted to you? 

P.S. Any positive, creative plans for the "new" year that is ahead of you?

Legacy

Would you like to live forever? At first, you might tend to answer "yes". Then, on second thought, you will probably say "no". Why? Because as much as you love to live, deep inside you know that eternal life is not natural. What you should endeavor to do, though, is to create "something" that may last forever. If you are an artist, paint a picture, compose a song, write a book, sculpt a statue.... But even if you don't have any actual "skill", you can leave a positive legacy behind by simply being a good person, someone who - by their positive example - has contributed to create a better humankind. Do you believe this to be possible? I do.

Words vs. Actions

People have the tendency to talk more than to actually act. They love words more than actions. The prefer to listen to themselves rather than pull their sleeves up and ... get to work. Why is it so? Because talking is easier. Because it gets you some attention. Because it gives you a feeling of importance. Because it doesn't take a lot of effort. In conclusion, is it good or bad? Who knows? As usual, it is up to you to decide if you want to throw some seeds that will be dispersed in the air or plant them in the soil where they will yield a crop. Although talking can be useful, it must be followed by action, as a promise should be kept or an example should be given.

Managing Time

Are you a good "time manager"? What I mean is, can you make a truly profitable use of your time? Mind you, by profitable I'm not referring to money. I'm rather thinking about what is beneficial to your "self". Time is an asset we have all been granted, but so many make a bad use of it. Just reflect for an instant: when you spend several minutes (or hours or even longer) being angry, what is your emotional/spiritual gain? Aren't you depriving yourself of the serenity (maybe even the happiness) you could be enjoying instead? And simply because your so-called pride or self-righteousness make you believe that being angry is the correct way to elaborate your feelings. But your inner voice keeps whispering that time is too precious to be wasted in negativity. Make the right choice!

Staying or Moving

Do you like where you presently are? If you do, good for you. Stay there, continue doing what you have been doing and... enjoy your life! But, if you are not happy with your present situation, you have two choices: keep on staying there and complain, or decide to make a change. If you decide to stay where you are, then you can't blame anybody for your unhappiness. It is "your" choice. On the other hand, if you feel that you really want to be somewhere else, you have to take the drastic decision to "move". At first, it's not going to be easy, it's probably going to feel uncomfortable, but eventually you will know that it was the right decision.

A Dream

Imagine that you are dreaming of a holiday on an exotic island of the South Pacific (or any other place that you like). You may linger on the idea for some time. Then, if you are really serious about it, you start making definite plans. You check the possible routes, flights, fares, hotel reservation availability and so on. Finally, you make your bookings and relax, waiting for the date of departure. What is the wisdom behind all this? Simple. If you want to achieve a goal, you have to do something about it. You don't simply talk about it and wish for it to happen. Bounty baskets don't come down from the sky for you to grasp. You take action, you endeavor to make your dream come true. Decision, determination and action is what you need. And now ... have a nice journey!

Lemony Taste

Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said: "If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place". What does "correct your mind" mean? Is there something wrong with your mind? Not exactly. Your mind is fine, what is wrong might sometimes be the way you use it. We often said that things (i.e. Life) are the way they are and most times you are unable to actually change them. In such case, in order to live well, you need to change your way of interpreting such things. If, as they say, whenever you have lemons you can only make lemonade, whenever you are facing a situation that you are judging negatively, you can try to modify your judgment about it. Also a sour, lemony taste can be acceptable.

Solve The Problem

Imagine a blacksmith manufacturing a lock and then forgetting to make the key necessary to open it. That would be a silly situation, a useless piece of work. Such “silly” situation can be compared to the one you find yourself in when you say, “This problem has no solution”. Every problem has a solution. What you must accept is the idea that at times such solution is not the one you want, the one you were hoping for. An example: Let’s say that the problem is about you being compelled to stay in a work environment that you don’t like. What could the solutions be? The ones you would like: quit or have all your co-workers fired. Neither is possible. So? The solution that you don’t like (but which is the wisest one, due to the circumstances): change “your” judgment about the work environment that you loathe. If you really want to solve “your” problem, you can do it.

To Face or Not to Face?

Life is definitely “not” a piece of cake. It certainly has many good moments but it also has a lot of difficult ones. And when you start to pay more attention to the difficult ones, you feel overwhelmed by the challenges, you might even think that you are not up to facing them and that, maybe, it would be better to give up trying. But you would be wrong. As hard work is required while climbing to reach the top of the mountain, so some courage is necessary to attain fulfillment. If you stay at the bottom of the height, you will never enjoy the beautiful view available from the top. If you refuse to face your problems, you will never feel the satisfaction of having solved them, thus giving your life a sweeter flavor.

Theirs or Yours?

Look at how you have always been. What do you see? What kind of individual are you? Examine your character and your behavior. Then, let’s say that you decide to change something in yourself in order to re-create your life for the better. You now want to eliminate what is no more useful to your wellbeing. So, you actually make the change and feel much better about yourself. Bravo! But don’t expect others to be happy about it. They will probably resent you for not being your “usual” self, the one who was caring about “their” wellbeing more than your own. Are you ready to take the challenge? What is more important “to you”, their selfishness or your fulfillment?