The New Renaissance

The Renaissance (maximum flourishing 15th and 16th century) was a period that saw, in Europe, the birth of a new awareness of the greatness of the "ego", which was interpreted as the individual capacity for greatness - not as the selfish side of the self, as we understand it today. The human being was then seen and praised as a creature of value, capable of expressing himself in ways that would soar to fantastic heights in the artistic, scientific, intellectual fields (a few examples: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Shakespeare, Galileo etc.). The "I" was considered a source of spiritual growth.

Also today we are witnessing a renewed triumph of the "ego". How does it manifest itself? Mainly in talking no-stop about one's self, posting the so-called "selfies" and twitters, practically showing off all the time. In a nutshell, inventing more or less questionable ways to attract attention. What a difference!

At The Hairdresser's

While at the hairdresser's,  a parallel occurred to me between hair-care and Life. At times life becomes dull, exactly like your air when it needs color and trim. You don't like the way things are going, as you don't like the way your hair makes you look. There is no "shape", everything appears mediocre and zest-less. Then you make an appointment with your hairdresser and, in a couple of hours, you come out as a new person. You look well-groomed, beautiful, just "right". Similarly, when you decide to do something about your mood and remind yourself about your worth, about what life can still offer, about all your assets, Life starts to feel "right" again.

What Is "Worthy"?

You may reach a point in your life when you start wondering about "worth". You worry about something and suddenly you stop and ask, "Is it worthy?" The same might happen when you get angry, or upset, or annoyed... If you are wise enough, you answer yourself with a big fat "NO!". In fact, very few things deserve to be worried, got upset or angry about seriously. Most of them - if observed and analyzed with attention - result to be quite petty, almost insignificant. Yet, you often tend to attribute too great an importance to them. You seem to almost make your life revolve around them. Well, maybe not your whole life. But your mood certainly. Now, do you think it "worth it" to ponder upon this matter? I do.

So, What?

Quite often are we unable to see ourselves as we truly are or, at least, as other people perceive us. If a friend tells us that we answer a comment of theirs in a defensive or aggressive way, we immediately deny it. Why? Simply because we cannot judge our own behavior from the perspective of another person. "So, what?", you might say, "I behave the way I consider suitable, as far as I am concerned." You are certainly right but, at the same time, if you want to establish friendly relationships with your fellow human beings, you cannot ignore what they think about the way you relate to them. Being totally "yourself" may at times cause serious misunderstanding because, for several of us, one of the most difficult things to do in dealing with the others is to clearly explain our point of view - when in contrast with somebody else's - without sounding either defensive or aggressive, or both. 

The "Subconscious" Problem

A problem with human beings is that they have a subconscious. People think and act in a certain way, sure that they know the reasons behind their thinking and acting. Most times, they only "believe" they know, while they don't. If you get an ailment, you immediately think of the physical cause. Some may go as far as trying to detect the "mental" cause, such as a negative thought or behavior. Both may be true. But there is something else that is very difficult, often almost impossible, to detect. It is the layer of beliefs and, mostly, feelings that are deeply rooted "below" our conscious mind and of which we are totally unaware. Past experiences actually create a sort of foundation upon which our daily life is being built. Therefore, if you stop to look, you will only see the building (the way your life is, your health situation etc.) while being unaware of what lies underneath. Discovering what such foundation is, is not easy.

Life and Multiverse

The article “Looking for Life in the Multiverse” by A. Jenkins and G. Perez ("Scientific American", 2010) ends with these words: “We may never find any direct evidence of the existence of other universes, and we certainly will never get to visit one. But we may need to learn more about them if we want to understand what is our true place in the multiverse – or whatever it is that is out there”…

Speaking on a much smaller, non-scientific scale, what I understand is that we need to learn more about what is possible in order to understand what is actually real, what is presently existing, both in the world and in ourselves. Intriguing thought...

Successful Partnership

Is it enough for an individual to be honest, not have harmful habits and not be abusive, in order to be a good partner and establish a successful relationship? Some may believe so. Probably they are mistaken. Being honest, i.e. not being a criminal, is a duty of every single human being as far as ethics and morals are concerned. Not pursuing harmful habits is a duty towards one's body in order to keep it healthy. Not being abusive is a duty that everyone has towards everyone else in the name of mutual respect. All this has nothing to do with being a good husband or wife. To be successful and fulfilled with your partner, additional factors are necessary (if you reflect, you'll know which ones). When these are lacking, you will have (to paraphrase Henry David Thoreau), "a relationship of quiet desperation", where the couple keep on leading a dull, mirthless existence because they are moving on different planes.

House Flies

An Italian proverb says that God didn't create any useless creatures but that with houseflies He almost did it. This said, we can affirm that every living entity has its own precise place in the great "puzzle" of Nature. We must therefore admit that the beautiful harmonious "pieces" are as necessary as the dull insignificant ones. Nevertheless, it is hard to accept that even the crooked shapes are unavoidable in order to establish a sort of balance. For instance, when we read or hear stories about nasty human beings whose only aim seems to be performing wicked deeds, we might wonder "Why?". Again, it is not up to us to judge. We can only believe that there is a reason behind any happening. Acknowledging this can make certain people and situations a bit more acceptable.

The Two Sides of the Street

I used to know a downtown street with old buildings and shops on both sides. Riding along the same street after many years, I noticed that the buildings and the shops on the left are still the same old ones, while the ones on the right have been replaced by new, all-modern constructions. This makes me think of two people who, when they start their path together (either a relationship or just a friendship), agree on many things, have similar ideas, beliefs, behavior and then....a drastic change takes place. Actually, one of the two remains exactly the same, while the other undergoes a transformation, a metamorphosis, a modernization in mind and ways. The sides of the "street" that used to run parallel, are now getting farther and farther from each other. Is it good? Is it sad? Anyway, it is rather common.

Plastic Love

When you say you love someone, what do you actually feel towards the other person? The main facet of such "love" should be the desire to see your beloved happy, shouldn't it? In order to contribute to their happiness, you will be expected to do or not do certain things - such as being available and supportive, refraining from behaving in a controlling or abusive way etc. If you say you love another, yet you do "nothing" to prove it with your actions (i.e. you are not available or supportive, you are controlling and abusive etc.), your so-called love is like a plastic flower that seems to be the real thing while it is not. It "only" looks like a flower but it has none of the attributes it should have. Its petals are not soft and velvety, it has no fragrance, its beauty is fake and, if you look closely, you will realize it. Therefore... check out how you love your beloved, but check also how your beloved loves you. It goes both ways!

Know, Heal, Love Yourself

Greek philosopher Socrates used to say. "Know yourself" because only by knowing the motivations which make you behave the way you do, are you able to carry out any adjustment needed in order to create a more rewarding life. Another famous quote is "Doctor, heal yourself" because, if you don't know how to make yourself better (you don't need to be a real physician!), you won't be able to help others. Finally, a piece of advice very suitable to the time we are living in, could be, "Love yourself". Is everybody aware of this necessity? Probably not. Why? Because it seems that nowadays many human beings don't really know how to love and/or take good care of themselves. They in fact feed their bodies with metaphorical rubbish, they let themselves be prey of dangerous addictions and/or harmful feelings. In so doing, they knowingly inflict painful wounds to their physical, psychological and spiritual selves.

Turning Into A Stranger

John used to be such a creative guy but then, after experiencing more than one failure, he turned into a dull, almost boring fellow. Lucy was sweet, available and understanding, yet you wouldn't recognized her in the bitter, harsh woman she is now, after her heart was badly hurt. And dear old Mario, the happiest person you had ever known, is hardly recognizable in the sad, withdrawn man you see at present. Some people undergo difficult experiences throughout their lives which literally transform them into someone else, someone you don't know any more. The sweet becomes bitter, the shy becomes presumptuous, the kind can easily behave rudely etc. Yes, life's struggles can change people, their minds, their hearts and, consequently, their behavior - sometimes for the best, other times for the worst. It is up to each of us to examine ourselves from time to time in order to check and see what we are or what we have become.

A Question For Seniors (but not only!)

If you have reached the so-called "mature" age - and still wish to know a bit more about yourself - ask the following question (also younger folks might benefit from such reflection): 

If it were possible, would I want to start living my life all over again (possibly in a different way)? 

Before answering, ponder upon the following: 

* Had you made a different career choice, now you would find yourself in a different situation. 

* Had you married someone else, you wouldn't have the children you have. 

* Had you chosen another life path, 

       - you wouldn't have had to face the challenges you faced, but 

         different ones, 

       -  you wouldn't have had "all" the experiences you have had

          throughout your life, 

       - most probably you wouldn't have met the friends you

         presently have.

 Now... go ahead and answer the question. 

"Love" & "love"

Can you discern a difference between "Love" (upper case) and "love" (lower case)? The first one can be interpreted as a kind of universal feeling, a sort of benevolence that every human being should naturally experience towards the whole creation. It is a desire for everybody and everything to be well, in good condition, possibly happy. The second kind, love, is directed towards a specific object (usually a person). In this instance, different feelings are involved. Some - such as kindness, dedication, availability etc. - are positive. Others - such as jealousy, possessiveness etc. - are negative. What is the meaning of this reflection? The meaning is that "Love" is always good because it is selfless. On the other hand, "love", if not managed in an intelligent way, can end up causing sorrowful outcomes.

Acceptance vs. Encouragement

I am wondering if the words "acceptance" and "encouragement" have become synonyms. Nowadays many people have been brought to accept certain behaviors, attitudes and situations - although they don't believe them to be totally "good" - as a sign of flexibility and open-mindedness. But what is happening now goes far beyond acceptance, it is becoming "encouragement" to cross the line of dignity and respectability by showing, displaying, talking about such extreme self-expressions and manifestations everywhere, all the time.  Am I making any sense or am I living in an obsolete, "La La" plane of reality?