A Letter. Goal Achieved??

"This is in reference to the article (…) on Creative Thinking by Elsa Franco. I always find her articles inspiring because they make me reflect. The reading is interesting as well as true. Her words bind the reader all over. Like her, I am also in search of hidden wisdom. …… She writes, “No one is perfect and there is always place for improvement. Everything changes, nothing stays the same.” I so agree with her. Yes, life itself is a beautiful opportunity and a possibility to live as we want to, and to breathe freely………I believe that we must not underestimate others' potential or hard work. We don't know when the tables will be overturned. She also mentions a facet of human nature, i.e. the capability of accepting a defeat…….I would finally like to quote her words, “We should never stop learning, being open to new possibilities, trying our wings to see how high we can soar and then try harder.” We can do that by breaking our barriers, by trying to come out of our shells and think, and live outside the box."

Move or Stay?

A person, talking about his (or her) own environment (house, city, country) or the person he lives with or the job he has, says: “I will never be happy in this situation”.

He (or she) has three possible choices:

1. He decides to move somewhere else. In this case, he will have to make major adjustments. The outcome is not certain.

2. He decides to accept the situation and stay. In this case, he will have to make adjustments, give up some of his hopes and wishes. The outcome is not certain.

3. He decides to stay “unwillingly”. In this case he won’t have to make any adjustments and the outcome is certain. He will remain unhappy for good!

Problems

Have you ever wondered about how serious your “problems” are? You might find yourself in a real predicament: in such case your preoccupation is justified, until you find a solution. But there are times when you, without realizing it, make a mountain out of a molehill, truly. Or someone near you does. When this happens, problems arise which create misunderstanding, suffering and upset, without a real reason. They just materialize out of nothing: starting from a simple word, or a facial expression, or a gesture which, from your perspective, is totally meaningless, the situation escalates to a point where it becomes a harsh confrontation, an argument, even a fight. Why? You don’t even understand how a simple statement or action could have been twisted around in such a way that you find yourself where you had never dreamed of being. No one is at fault here. The problem was created, once again, by the lack of proper communication. You say something, and the other interprets your words differently. Or the other way around. 

Is It All A Game?

It comes natural to some (but not many, I reckon) to wonder if there is a precise plan behind the human existence.  Seeing the huge difference among birth conditions, health and wealth situations, peace versus suffering etc. , one cannot help wishing to understand the big WHY behind all this. Such considerations bring us back to the concept of  “The Matrix”, this vast mental game where human beings think they are awake, while in reality they are maneuvered into believing it, while they are not. If this is true, what could be the goal of such deception? And, most of all, why are we endowed with a brain that keeps asking these questions - if it is not possible to receive or find an answer?

Frustration

One of the most frustrating things you may experience is being unable to communicate your feelings. It seems that you and your interlocutor are on different planes, where there is no way to understand each other. It is like when you are in a foreign country, but you don't know the language and the natives don't know yours. You talk and talk, to no avail. When this happens, you feel frustrated because, no matter how hard you try to express your thoughts, to explain the reasons for your behavior or the meaning of what you are saying, you just cannot get through to him/her. You find a wall in front of you: your words hit it and just bounce back, without leaving a trace. Actually, no. It yields a result, but it's not a positive one. It seems that, the more you try to get through, the harder the walls becomes. What to do? No ready-made solution, here. It needs to be discovered, if there is a chance of finding it.

Progress

Until not too many decades ago families used to have dinner together, exchange news, talk to each other, tell what had happened during the day. Throughout the evening, they were communicating “the whole time”. A few decades later, with the advent of television, families were still having dinner together. They exchanged news and talked, before moving into the living room to watch TV together. The length of direct communication had significantly decreased, but they were still spending time with each other. Nowadays most families don’t have dinner together, each member watches TV in their own rooms or uses other "private" technological means of communication.  People in the same family hardly see each other, spend time or talk to each other. This is one of the results of the so called “progress”.

Fear Can Be Overcome

When you get ready to start something new, when you want to try what you have never tried before, fear joins enthusiasm. If you decide to make a major change in your life, to put behind something in your past that did not make you happy, the moment you start packing up for your "journey", you begin having doubts.What is awaiting me? Will I make it? Will I...? What if…? There are so many ifs, so many doubts, so many fears! Fear of having to give up something, even if it is for a greater good; fear of having to struggle  to find the new path to success. 

Just think: "If I am truly convinced of the step I am about  to make, if I carefully weighed the pros and cons of what I intend to do, why worry?"  In spite of the uncertainty that tries to weaken your trust, there is a deep knowing that all is well. An intimate, indescribable feeling whispers: "Go ahead, you can do it!" Listen to it.

Attitude Matters

It is your attitude (first mental, then material, i.e. thoughts and actions) toward others that creates either good or bad relationships, love or hate, peace or war. An old tale says that a man, wishing to move to another city, inquired about character and moods of its inhabitants. “In the place I am coming from”, he explained, “all people are bad, unpleasant and selfish”. They answered him: “Well, we are afraid this city is not suitable for you. People here are exactly the same”. Another traveler came by and asked the same question. He said: “The place I come from is lovely. People are good, pleasant, generous". And this is the answer he got: “You will enjoy living here because our people are exactly the same”. Want to give it a thought?

"Real" Belief?

I have often wondered if it is peculiar to the human nature to "believe" what one is told. I also wonder if human beings believe what they are told because they are deeply convinced (i.e. it all makes real sense to them) or rather because they allow themselves to get conditioned, as it appears to be the easiest thing to do.

Should we try to answer such questions or had we better continue believing (or "not" believing) without any further investigation?

How Do You Move?

Sometimes buses are not allowed to circulate in cities' downtown due to road works, so they have to make some detours in order to reach their destination. This is the way some people manage their lives. Could it be that you, too, choose not to follow the logical path (does “logic” exist, anyway?) that goes straight ahead, and decide instead to take two steps forward and one step back, to move sideways, or even to leave the path you are on in order to follow a different one… In the end, you still reach your destination, but with much more effort. Any chance to make it easier? Or would you find it too dull? It seems that you, in fact, often unconsciously prefer challenges, even the needless ones.

Existential Questions

If you feel you have failed (= not achieved what you expected) in your life, ask yourself the following questions:

What have I done wrong? 

Could I have done things differently? 

Did I have too high a goal? 

Did I actually "have" a goal? 

Did I expect too much? 

Did I expect too much "from people"? 

Am I "totally" responsible for the failure I perceive? 

Could some things have been avoided or were they a "must happen"?

A Little Shift

A patient, friendly attitude should be displayed with whomever you are dealing with. This includes the cashier at the supermarket, the janitor in your office, the salesperson whose behavior gets on your nerves. When you are kind and patient, the others notice the  way you treat them and will act accordingly. Sometimes it only takes a little shift in addressing people to upturn relationships for the better. Have you ever paid attention to how different your appearance  is  early in the morning, when you haven’t combed your hair yet and when – later – you have? It's still you, it's still your hair but... what a difference! You almost look another person. The same happens when you smile or say "Thank you" and... when you don't!

Self-portrait

When you don't take care of the way you portray yourself, you are limiting your options for success. Along with your physical appearance, you have to pay attention to your attitude and also  to your body language. Not only the way you dress, but also the way you present yourself and deal with others has an impact upon the opinion people form of you when they deal with you, and makes them decide what to think about you. Therefore, it is advisable to pay attention  to what you wear and what you say as well as to the body expressions (face, hands etc.) that inevitably accompany your words.

Appearance Is Important

What do you think about the way you present yourself to the world? Do you believe that the image you are projecting is the best yourself? Could it be improved? If your answer is "yes", what could be done? Some people have the skill, the ability to instinctively know what suits them and what doesn't.  Some don't. What about your physical appearance? Take a good look at yourself. Go to the mirror and observe. Is your hair in good condition? Decent haircut and grooming? What about your clothes? Are they simple but elegant or are they sloppy? Do they show that you care or do they show that your image is the last thing in your mind? 

Inner Look

Today take an “inner” look of yourself. Examine the way you behave, how you treat others: the way you look at them, the words you speak to them, the expressions you “wear” while dealing with them. Who are “them”? Absolutely everybody, every single person you meet and interact with in the course of your day. Start from your family, and review how  you usually interact with your spouse and with your children. Mentally picture yourself while you address them, while you speak to them and also while you listen (or don’t listen) to them. What about your other relatives? Are you attentive towards your parents, do you ask them if they need anything you might help them with?  
Do you show the people in your life that you "care"?