Winner Or Loser?

I've  read these words on a billboard: "Release You Inner Winner". Good, I thought, they are starting to spread positive advice on a wider scale. Then, when I got nearer and read the words below, I realized that it was the ad for a casino. Ah, they were talking about THAT kind of winner. Encouraging you to gamble, to hope to be a winner while you already know that you will almost surely be a loser. Parallel with life? It happens when you embark in a situation (train of thoughts, conversation, action) that you "hope" will make you able to prove your point, to "win" over another, while deep inside you already know that it's not the best, the fairest, the most loving choice of behavior.

How To Listen

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: "There is guidance for each of us, and by LOWLY listening, we shall hear the right word." The adverb "lowly" means in a non pretentious, non arrogant way. Are you - every now and then - arrogant? Do you have an exaggerated sense of your own importance and abilities? As long as you are convinced that you are always right, you won't be able to hear "the right word" that your inner wisdom is whispering to you. "This does not concern me. I am not arrogant", you (and most of us!) will most probably say at this point. Aren't you? Honestly? I dare you to remind yourself of your own thoughts when someone else is expressing a different opinion than yours, to remember your attitude when another behaves in a way you disapprove of... I dare you to deny that you often feel superior, that you believe you know more and better than others. This is the feeling that does not allow you (and most of us!) to actually listen to the voice of your inner guidance, and this is what makes you go on creating contrast and uneasiness in your life.

Self-appreciation

In your life you are continuously striving to achieve what you feel you are lacking. That's why you can be so creative. But you need to be more lenient towards your efforts - unfortunately often fruitless - to attain improvement and progress. You know that you are not perfect and you know that you never will. But you also know that your potential is much greater than it appears at first sight. If you try to overcome what you believe to be your limits, you can  do more than you thought. While doing this, you need to be patient, kind and understanding towards yourself. It is only natural to feel discouraged at times, but it's the non-quitters, the persistent people who reach (at least partially) their goals. And don't forget to appreciate yourself in the process.

Uncertainty

You need to believe in yourself, believe that you can make things happen. It's not always easy to nurture a deep trust in what you are about to undertake. The awareness of the problems you are going to face tries to scare you (It's going to be very difficult!). Self-doubt creeps in (Will I be able to do it?). Uncertainty about the wisdom of your decision worries you (Is it really worth it?). It all depends on how you "feel" about it. If the motivation is strong enough, you'll find the courage to pursue your goal. If, on the other hand, you prefer to tread on the old path, it's also okay. No decision is right or wrong. Whatever you believe is right for you, at any moment of your life, it probably is. But trust, confidence and courage definitely play an important role in the outcome of whatever you decide to do (or not to do).

Are You "Really" Alive?

It is undeniable that you are alive, i.e. you breathe and physically function. But...is this all there is to life? How do you communicate with and relate to others? How well do you perform your duties? How committed are you to your principles? What are your principles? What are your priorities? How deep is your spiritual search? Do you ever question your own behavior? How much do you care for the feelings of others? Are you quick to judge and slow to forgive?  Socrates said that an un-examined life is not worth living. Yes! If you don't become aware of the hidden patterns that rule your thoughts and behavior, you will carry on lingering in a sort of limbo where you definitely don't live up to your potential of human being.

Dig It Up!

If you take the time to examine your own self in depth, you might be surprised to find stuff that you had either forgotten, thought you had released, or decided to ignore. Everything you have experienced so far has left a mark in your spirit that will never be erased. If it's negative stuff that is creating hidden turmoil inside of you, it's up to you to dig it up, re-examine it, process it and, possibly, release it. They say that the brain is more complicated than the most advanced computer. But the inner self is the most mysterious part of your being because - while the brain can be checked, tried, even measured - nothing can give you secure tools for "spiritual examination". All you need is true commitment, sincere desire, a positive attitude and TRUST that you will find what you are looking for.

Climb the Mountain

Don’t you feel  that you are always looking for something, that the circumstances in  your life are never favorable enough, that your needs are not met as much as you wished? You are often anxious, suspicious, it seems that you never learned how to relax and you keep complaining that things are not going your way - at least not all the time!

Why don’t you try to look at situations from a different perspective? Abandon the hill of dissatisfaction and move up the mountain of contentment. The view is wonderful, the horizon is larger. The problems that seemed like insurmountable  boulders have become like pebbles that your foot can easily throw aside. They do not bother you any more,  now more interesting things attract you attention.  How come? Simply because dimensions have been altered. 

Seize the Opportunity

Today you will be given many chances to be the person you want to be. Don't miss them. How?

Keep your eyes metaphorically open so that you will actually SEE them. Be "aware", be alert to what is going on around you and respond accordingly.  Behave as you would like others to behave towards you if you were in their situation. A friend is silent? A good opportunity to show your caring. Someone did you wrong and you feel like retaliating? A good opportunity to forgive. You are upset and want to express yourself in a way that you later might regret? A good opportunity to forbear. A dear one is suffering? A good opportunity to show your love. A stranger looks at you? A good opportunity to smile. And so on.....

Voluntary Victim?

A well-known quote says, "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” When you are faced with a problem, how do you feel? If you feel powerless, you become a voluntary victim. If you live in a state of anxiety, you become a worrier. If you feel defeated, you become a self-created loser. In any case, you are depressed and believe that "destiny" is treating you unfairly. As a consequence, either you throw your hands up and surrender, or you try to find a solution - but without believing that you will find a suitable one. What about looking from a different perspective? A problem might just be what you need to experience this very moment, and you are facing it because there is something for you to learn, to adjust, to change in yourself and, consequently, in your life.

Being "Centered"

Living a good life is a matter of being "centered", i.e. self-confident, goal-oriented, well balanced. Difficult to achieve? What do these adjectives actually mean? The first one indicates confidence in one's powers and abilities. Do you believe in yourself and in what you are capable of doing? To explain goal-orientation, this statement might help: "Achievement doesn't usually happen by accident, and it's not the result of luck. Instead, it's the culmination of planning and hard work". How well do you plan? Do you actually have a plan to improve yourself and your life? And finally..."well balanced". Synonyms could be "mentally stable", "sensible" and "sound". Do you see yourself as such? Self-examination on these points might provide useful guidelines.

Flip The Coin

An interesting quote says, "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” When you are faced with a problem, how do you feel? If you feel powerless and give in to victimism, you become a voluntary victim. If you live in a state of anxiety, you become a worrier. If you feel defeated, you become a self-created loser. In any case, you are depressed and believe that "destiny" is treating you unfairly. As a consequence, either you throw your hands up and surrender, or you try to find a solution without believing that you will find a suitable one. What about flipping the coin and looking at the other side? A problem might just be what you need to experience this very moment, and you are facing it because there is something for you to learn, to adjust, to change in yourself and, consequently, in your life.

"Change" Can Be Useless

Changing jobs, neighborhoods, cities, even countries or partners can't change what you are: if you want something different in your life, you must decide to change something inside yourself first. A well-known tale speaks of two travelers who decided to move to the same city. The one with a positive attitude found a friendly environment while the one with a negative personality met with unpleasant people and circumstances. The same city with the same inhabitants, but  two different approaches to the new life. Have you tried to avoid, ignore, deny, run  away from something that you did not want in your own life? Did you succeed? Were you able to improve your circumstances and your psychological state simply by changing environment? You might have, but usually it's not that easy. The first change must happen "inside" before being mirrored, reflected "outside".

Savor Your Cake

Some might believe that life is a sort of race to be won by the fastest, or at all costs. But living to the fullest doesn't mean living in the fast lane. On the contrary, it means taking a "slow" route, a beautiful, scenic one where you take the time to stop and admire the view, to appreciate the beautiful sunset, to enjoy the company of your fellow riders. Why this maddening desire to be first, to have more than others, to prove oneself to be  "the best"? Why this crazy need for competition? Life should be savored like a piece of chocolate cake, a small bite at the time, cherishing all the feelings  that such an experience creates. Try doing this. Then, also try gobbling your treat down as quickly as possible because you have to eat something else, or because you are in hurry to finish your meal. Compare the two ways of doing the same thing. Which one is more sensible and... satisfying?