Useless Talk

Sometimes people speak just for the sake of speaking. They believe they can say anything, without really thinking about what they are saying. This doesn't mean that they are speaking nonsense. They just don't pay attention to their words, that can sometimes be useless or inappropriate. You may have experienced the impulse of expressing a thought, talking about a personal situation, sharing an experience about something you have heard or seen, only to later realize that you could have easily avoided the sharing because it was out of place, or void of interest for the other party. This kind of regret is a common sensation. 'Why did I say that?', you ask yourself. And you wish you hadn't. Nothing too serious, though, just a nagging feeling of uselessness....A bit difficult to describe but, if you have experienced it, you "know".  

Always Truthful?

Imagine this situation. One of your friends is recovering from a health problem. You have just read an article (or watched a video, or found a website) that is related to your friend's issue. You believe that sharing such information might be useful. But, when you enthusiastically mention it, your friend states that they are not interested. How does such answer make you feel? They were sincere - all right. Now switch roles: you are the convalescent and your friend suggests an article (a video or a website) they think might benefit your health, but you are not interested. How do you answer? Is a truthful answer "always" the best? Even if you are hurting someone who meant well, a friend who was only trying to help?  Or would you rather simply thank them (although you won't follow their suggestion?)

'Sprout' or Quit?

During one of your walks, you may have noticed a heap of rocks. See them now with your imagination. Look closely: first you only detect the rocks tightly stuck together. Then, when you pay real attention, you realize that a tiny green plant is growing amidst them. In spite of the unwelcoming environment, it is unexpectedly emerging from underground to the surface. Yes, the tiny plant is "boldly going" where you wouldn't expect it. Like the iconic Star Trek spaceship "Enterprise"? In a way, yes! The small seed certainly did not find itself in the best conditions to sprout and grow - buried as it was under  heavy rocks. Yet...it did it. Examine now yourself in front of a life challenge, and check your attitude. Do you see yourself as a little, daring 'Enterprise'-plant, or rather as a...quitter?   

Two Sister Words

Let's say that you are ok with your life, but not completely satisfied. There are things that are going well, others that aren't. When you think of what is not going well, two words may come to your mind: disillusionment and disappointment. They might seems almost synonyms because they both convey a feeling of regret from your failed expectations, but they are not exactly the same. You experience disappointment when things 'come out' differently from what you had expected. Disillusionment is the feeling you experience when you realize that things 'are' different from what you had expected. In the first case the feeling is referred to not achieving the results you expected from your action, when your plans fail.  On the other hand, you are disillusioned when you realize that your life (or a relationship...) is not the one you had expected or hoped for. The first may encourage you not to give up, to try again or try something else. The second implies a feeling of sadness and may lead you to hopeless resignation.

Misinterpretation

Communication is a wonderful way to put two human beings in direct contact. There are many ways to communicate, each according to personal goals, habits, skills. While there are different ways to express one's feelings, the most common is, of course, the spoken word. But not always is it easy to convey one's own message in a way that the other person understands. They can hear your words, but they may not get the gist of what you mean. You say something that is supposed to be funny or lovingly ironical, and your interlocutor gets offended. You believe you are describing something fairly well, only to see that they didn't get the right picture. But the saddest realization is that the person you are attempting to communicate with does not perceive your idea or feeling. Yes, the wrong interpretation of words can cause quite a bit of damage in human relationships. 

Why Life?

A short reflection & relevant questions. (Quotes from a movie)

"I allowed myself to lead this little life, when inside me there was so much more. It's all gone unused and now it never will be." 

"Why do we get all this life if we do nothing with it?"                   

"Why do we get all these feelings and dreams and hopes, if we don't ever use them?"

                    **********************  

Beware of the 'Storm'

If you enjoy gardening, you are careful to spot anything dangerous to your rose buds. As sunshine is provided, you keep checking that your flowers receive enough water; you provide the nutrients that are needed and take care of the weeds and insects that might jeopardize your plants' health. While gardening, though, you may become too busy looking for bugs, and miss noticing the big storm that is approaching. Might this be also the case of your 'position' in your personal relationship with your partner, family, friends, colleagues? Sometimes people are ready to pay attention to annoying little "bugs" such as someone else's facial expressions, unpleasant words or tiny negligences, and miss the real cause of such nuisances. If this happens to you, too, do you care enough to also check your own behavior? You might spot, recognize and hopefully be able to avoid a big "storm" that may break into your own life.