Don't Bottle Up!

Imagine a bottle on a table. You start pouring water into it. You pour a little at a time. The bottle slowly starts to fill up. If you continue pouring, when the bottle is full, what will happen? Easy. It will start to overflow. This is a simple, yet very suitable example of how your emotional world works. Day after day you add emotions, one at the time, into your emotional 'bottle'. If the emotions are good, by their own nature they dissolve in the form of a good mood, a feeling of pleasure. But, if the emotions are negative, they do not dissolve spontaneously. They pile up, one on top of the other. One day, you realize that they have formed many layers that fill up your inner being. Without gradually releasing them, one day they will 'overflow' in the form of a disease, depression, a huge outburst, a devastating crisis. "Release" is the word. Never allow the 'bottle' to fill so much that it overflows!

Precious 'Artifact'

Nowadays most people trust "experts" to solve their problems, so they put their physical, emotional, even spiritual wellness in the hands of "connoisseurs", whose opinion is kept into the highest consideration. A little story may be helpful, in this respect.                A child accidentally broke a precious pre-columbian artifact, a clay statuette of undefined shape. Afraid of being punished, he got some clay and molded a roughly similar figurine, which was then displayed in an exhibition. Here, all the experts/connoisseurs  highly praised it as a perfect example of pre-columbian art. (Later, when the statuette was about to be donated to a major museum, the child - afraid that the forgery might be discovered - confessed his doing.)

So much for the experts/connoisseurs!

Giving Without Receiving

 At times, life seams definitely out of balance. Let's say that you are a 'giver'. You give whatever may be required by people you love: material resources, time, availability, understanding.... But you don't receive anything back because the others seem to be either too busy or not ready/willing to reciprocate. So, you provide, listen, comfort, pay attention, give care but...when you need support, "they" are not there for you. Are they bad people? Are they ignoring you? Are they "not" loving you? No. They are simply so wrapped up in themselves that they can see only their own needs, problems and worries. That's why they are unable to  perceive yours. It can certainly be painful for you, it can make you feel unjustly treated - and you would be right. Nonetheless, what can you do? Your choice includes only two possibilities: keep on being selfless, and continue giving generously, or you may start giving less (against your own nature). You might also decide to express your feelings to the other person(s), but this doesn't usually entail a long-lasting change in them.      

Four Stages

Here is a reflection that may be useful to assess where you are in life. If you are very young, you look ahead with stars in your eyes. You imagine a brilliant future full of discoveries, of success, of exciting adventures.  It's all in your "mind". If you are an adult, your focus is on your career and, possibly, on starting a family. You feel that success is there for you to grasp, and fiercely endeavor to reach it. You are always moving, always acting, always busy. It's all in your "body". Later, at retirement time, you look back at your achievements. You are exiting the active world, your actual contribution slows down, you intend to enjoy some leisure  and dedicate yourself to relaxation and hobbies. You may enjoy this state or you may not. It's all in your "feelings". Much later, you experience a sort of detachment from it all. You look back and see the stages you have gone through, and appreciate what you have been able to do (you might also regret what you have avoided doing!). Your goal moves beyond the worldly experience and looks on higher realms. It's all in your "spirit".

"Un Ballo in Maschera"

The many TV commercials advertising for face masks bring to mind a famous opera by composer Giuseppe Verdi, "Un Ballo in Maschera" (= "A Masked Ball"). You just need to change one word: replace "ball" with "world", and you have a fair description of the present 'situation'. The place where you live (A Masked World) has an aspect that is different from what it used to be. This, 'outwardly'. What about 'inwardly'? Has anything changed? Have the problems, the difficulties, the hardship, the distancing, the forced loneliness made any change in your fellow beings, in yourself? Has all this upheaval contributed to introspection, to the realization of the true values to be pursued, to a greater awareness of the uncertainty of the human existence? If it hasn't, this "Masked Ball/World" has been useless. It hasn't  had any positive result in understanding the meaning of life.

Action Required

These days Nature is gradually waking up from its winter slumber.  Daffodils are among the first flowers to show up and make you feel that spring is coming. First a bright yellow color starts showing up under the closed sepals, which slowly open up into a beautiful corolla. A few days ago it was only a bud, tightly shut around itself. Then its essence started manifesting -  maturing into fullness, step by step. The same happens to your life. The full expression of who you are doesn't happen overnight. Your complete "self" is there, but it needs time to build its perfect 'structure'. How does it happen? Actually, it doesn't just 'happen'. It can only be done with your help, i.e. with your readiness to accept changes, to develop your skills, to improve your flaws (everybody has some!). The daffodil totally accepts Nature's action through just being, and so can you. But, in your case, also action is required.

Changing Habits

Imagine that you are moving from Europe to the USA. You are going to face some changes, some of which will be easy, some medium, others difficult. You learned English in a British school, so you will find American accent different. But adjusting to it will not be hard, just a matter of a few days. When it comes to temperature, though, it might be less easy. You are used to considering 0* as freezing point in the Celsius scale, therefore making it equal to 32F will take more effort. When the weather is warm and you hear people say that's 68F, well...it will take some effort for you to understand that it's actually 20C!! A more difficult adjustment in perspective is realizing that parents, in the US, expect their children to leave home when they turn 18, a concept totally unknown to European mentality. From these simple examples, you can understand that changing habits and viewpoints in general, or simply adjusting to new ways can present different degrees of difficulty. The good news is that they are "all" possible. Provided you are willing, and are motivated enough to do so.