On Safe Ground

One of the problems of most human beings is that they have ideas they are unwilling to revise and possibly change. It’s possible that you, too, believe that you are always right, that what you think is correct, that your opinions are the most logical ones and that no-one has the right to challenge them because you “know” they are right. As long as you are convinced of this, neither change nor improvement are possible. You have locked yourself in a castle of righteousness (your beliefs) and you have surrounded it with a thick wall (certitude that you are never wrong). Therefore, you feel secure inside such barrier and you don’t realize that, in so doing, you prevent yourself from being free to explore, to move around, to learn. Why is it so? It is so because you are afraid of what is new, different, unfamiliar. Your well-tested ideas make you feel comfortable because you “know” them, because they don’t present you with any uncertainty. You feel you are walking on safe ground. 

Everything Affects You

Words are more important than you might think. Not the actual meaning of words is relevant, but the impact they have on your spirit and, consequently, on your mood. The expressions you use when you speak to others and, even more important, when you talk to yourself, determine how you feel because they express your way of thinking. For example, if you preferably use critical, derogatory terms when describing others, yourself or situations (I hate… How stupid…. and worse!) your offensive language has a direct effect on your personality and on your behavior. Reflect for a moment on what you like to think most and what kind of people you love to mix with. If you are honest with yourself, such a reflection should show you clearly what is the atmosphere you live in, what is the environment you chose and created for your daily life. Believing that words have no consequence is incorrect, because they do. Believing that you are not affected by the people you choose to spend time with is incorrect as well. Absolutely everything and everyone that has a place in your life, affects “you”. 

Food

You are aware that you should avoid feeding your body unhealthy food. What about the “food” you provide your mind with? Such 'food' is everything you see, hear, read talk about, think. According to what your mental state is, so your true ‘self’ will feel. When you keep eating unhealthy food, you don’t feel well, you may even develop a disease. Similarly, when you keep watching, reading, talking, thinking about spiritually unhealthy stuff such as violent, criminal, immoral issues, your mind will be poisoned and corrupted. As a result, you will feel uneasy, depressed, unhappy. You might deny it, you might say that you have to keep up with the modern trends of society, and therefore you must listen to those news, read those books or watch those movies / TV programs which make you see the world as an ugly place. Although evil and negativity do exist, they are not the majority. So, why not focus on the good and the positive? 

Qualities and Skills

Every human being has an opinion about him/herself. In spite of what they show the world, each has a clear idea of what he or she actually “is”. And when you think about yourself as an individual, you certainly include your “potential”, your capability to understand, to create, to generally succeed in life. Ask yourself, “What potential do I believe I have?” Low? Medium? High? Examine the results you have obtained in your life up to now and see if you are satisfied with them. Make a list of both the qualities that made you reach such results and of the flaws that caused your failures. If you believed more in yourself, what could you do? You might be surprised to discover that you may have more skills than you previously believed you had. 

Self-Belief

There are people who believe they are able of doing anything, they see themselves destined to achieve the highest success in their lives. Others don’t trust themselves at all and believe they are predestined to failure. They see themselves as born losers, so they never try anything challenging because they believe they have no chance to succeed. A third category includes those who believe they “could” be successful because they have a feeble feeling of self-worth. They have some confidence in their own abilities but don't dare to try anything new because they fear defeat. The people who don’t trust their own potential are blocked in front of any challenge or trial, they don’t step on any new possible path. What about you?

Values

"Do I know what my real values are?" This is an important question to ask yourself, but whose answer you might believe you know, while you probably don’t. Most human beings are quite superficial and prefer to stop and look at what is clearly visible, and don’t even think of the possibility that - in reality - something may be totally different from what they expected. Where they believe there is generosity, they might discover that there is rather a sense of superiority, a desire to be admired, a lack of self-esteem, a need of validation… It is so easy to be deceived by appearances! Therefore, examine yourself and try to discover the truth about your true values. 

Evaluation Time

The end of this year is getting closer and closer...every day. It's time (again!) to check your life out and see how you have done so far. Are you satisfied with where you see yourself right now? Have you carried out whatever plan you had in the last twelve months? Be brave and make an assessment of your achievements. Whatever result you get, be glad that you are still here, able to think about it. If you need to do something else, add, eliminate or change any detail in your life, it's time to start thinking about it - seriously.

Reality vs. Perception

After pondering about the capability of human beings to understand and learn, I’ve come to this conclusion: it’s impossible to really “know” anything. In spite of scientific findings, in spite of philosophical reasoning, in spite of inner examination, we are incapable of really understanding anything in its reality. We have simple glimpses of “what is”, because we can't help making use of our personal ideas, beliefs, opinions, judgments, tastes. Therefore what we consider knowledge is just our 'impression', our perception or interpretation of what we are experiencing. Does this make us wrong? Not totally, because we are entitled to our own way of interpreting the world. Nevertheless, we also need to accept the fact that our personal "view" does not entitle us to deny, criticize or refuse someone else's.

Inner/Outer Contradiction

A consideration that might be useful for you to understand yourself and your life better could be, “Am I truly satisfied with the way I am?”. It's possible that, at first, you feel somewhat confused because at times you feel that you are, other times that you aren’t. Why? Simply because your actions, reactions, words or even just feelings not always correspond to your true 'self'. It would be interesting to know why this happens, i.e. why sometimes you (like everybody else, for that matter) are incapable of expressing yourself in the right way. You speak or behave in ways that you later regret, and end up blaming, putting yourself down or feeling guilty. This undeniable contradiction that appears to exist in all human beings is a trait that must be dealt with. Is it possible to do it? It seems it is. And a deep self-examination might help.

Winner or Loser?

Here is a hard question that might be difficult for you to answer because you have to be totally honest with yourself. And total honesty is not so easy, especially in certain cases, when you are afraid of facing the truth. The question to ask yourself is, “By observing what I have done and achieved up to now, do I see myself more as a winner or as a loser?”. Before answering, though, reflect upon the definitions of winner and loser. One of the definitions of 'winner' that you find in the dictionary is "one who is successful" (= accomplishing an aim or purpose). 'Loser' is the person who is 'defeated' (= beaten in a contest or overcome by adversity). Now... it's up to you to decide.