Beyond Yourself

Fulfillment is more important than achievement. In fact, if you reach your goal but you are not entirely satisfied with it, you don't experience the thrill of having succeeded. Real fulfillment is not experienced when you behave selfishly, when you act only for your own interest. You experience deep satisfaction when you do something for others, when your goal outgrows your "own self" and you are able to give something of yourself to somebody beyond yourself.

Opposite Moods

Life is strange: its 'quality' depends on your mood. If you reflect upon it, you realize that it's not what you have or don't have, it's not what is or isn't happening that determine if you are living well or if you aren't. What really counts is what you "think" about it because it is your thoughts that decide how you "feel". Happiness and sadness, cheerfulness and gloominess, smiles and tears.... Everything can turn into its opposite in a whim, according to your interpretation of the present circumstance. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Actually, neither. They are all perfectly natural sentiments that need to be experienced and acknowledged. What is important is to never give in to negative feelings. When they are there, accept them, but don't allow them to rule your day. Never forget that "you" are the boss!

Everything Comes, Everything Goes

You are waiting for a joyful event to take place, but it seems so far away, as if it may never take place. You expect a result you are worried about, and you fear the moment it will come, almost hoping that it won't. Waiting for graduation, for the perfect mate, for a job, a promotion... Or dreading the outcome of a medical test, having to face surgery, a difficult situation... There are so many challenges for your patience or for your courage. But the time always comes. The event that seemed remote yesterday, is already here. What you had desired for so long is now happening, so try to enjoy it thoroughly. Today is the event you feared, and you realize that you are ready for action. Everything comes and everything goes. It's up to you to face each event with the best attitude you can muster.

You'd Better Focus!

An old parable tells the story of a student of spirituality who wanted to become a teacher. After studying for many years, he thought of leaving his school because he believed he was ready to teach. So he asked his mentor's opinion. The mentor’s only comment was, "Where did you leave your umbrella? On the right side of the door or on the left side?" The student, realizing that he had not practiced constant attention, decided to stay and study a few more years. Are you thinking that it does not really matter what side of the door you leave your umbrella, as long as the umbrella is still there? Well, this is debatable. You might also believe that you will find your car later, when the car park has filled up and you are lost in the crowd. You might also be convinced that no-one will ever resent or get fed up with you when they realize that you are usually inattentive and show carelessness towards their words, requests or needs. If you believe you are untouchable and that you can get away with it forever, you are wrong. Would you like to try?

Thinking of Something Else

Your mind likes wandering here and there, it loves losing itself in  a sometimes useless musing over stuff that has nothing to do with what should be your present concern. Besides, your mind enjoys itself in making you worry about possible problems and dangers that will never happen, or it encourages you to waste time in totally irrelevant considerations. It happens that, while you are listening to your interlocutor, you start thinking about a facial trait of theirs, you focus your attention on anything but their words. Other times you do not concentrate on what you, yourself, are doing. You get distracted, so you cannot remember where you put your keys or your  sunglasses. Why does this happen? Because, while putting those objects away, your mind was somewhere else and never registered the action you were carrying out. Another moment of absent-mindedness that made you "unaware" of the present moment.

To Boldly Go

Long ago, the well-known TV show "Star Trek" coined the phrase 'To boldly go' (where no-one has gone before). These words have always intrigued me. What does 'boldly' exactly mean? The dictionary definition is, in a confident and courageous way; showing a willingness to take risks. Is this the way we should move through life in order to achieve something worthwhile? The voyagers of the starship Enterprise were traveling through space, heading towards uncharted areas of the galaxy. They knew they might face risky situations, yet they went because a greater purpose was encouraging them. What about you? How do you fare in your journey through life? Do you dare to take decisions that might change your tranquil lifestyle? Do you have the courage to move to a new place, to commit to a relationship, to make a career change? Every decision can have drastic, radical, far-reaching results but...wouldn't you feel proud of having dared to "boldly go" towards the unknown? 

Seeing or Just Looking?

When you complain about a certain situation, it would be a good idea to wonder if you are really "seeing" such situation. It is possible, in fact, that - while looking -  you are not actually seeing. Absurd? Well, the fact is that you are often not "present" in the situation because your mind is wandering somewhere else. When you are listening to music and think about other 'stuff', no matter for how short a time, you are simply 'hearing', not 'listening'. In this way, a piece of your experience is totally lost. Your distraction makes you waste an opportunity. The result is that one moment of your life has been deleted, as you did not live it at all. Are you saying that you lived it in spite of the fact that you were doing something else? Certainly. But you did not live it the way you had intended to. It happens the same when you drink your coffee while watching TV. Did you enjoy the taste of your coffee? No, you didn’t. How could you? You were not even aware that you were drinking it. Therefore, no awareness equals no experience.

Make The Choice!

Ask yourself if you are satisfied of how your life is going, if you are fulfilled in your aspirations  and expectations, if your relationships are rewarding, if the way you intimately feel is what you had hope for. From the answer you get, you will see if it is good for you to continue in the style of living you are presently carrying out or if it would be advisable to make some changes. You are the judge and you are also the jury. This means that you are the only one who can make the final decision. Just be aware that such a decision can have a huge influence on your life, starting from today. It's up to you to stay the way you are and continue being  either acceptably satisfied (in the best case) or meekly dissatisfied (in a less positive case). But, if you reckon it necessary or just preferable to make a change, go ahead and do it!

Working & Earning

Imagine this scenario. You know that it is your duty to work part of the day and  dedicate the rest of your time to your family and to relaxation. The environment you are living in, though, convinced you that earning more money, being successful in your business is more important than any other consideration. Therefore you are working longer hours, subtracting precious time from rest and family. At this point, you have completely forgotten the knowledge you have previously had – which was the correct one – and are now convinced that your life goal should be climbing higher on the social ladder, increase your standard of living, reach an always higher financial status. Having forgotten what is the correct behavior for a balanced, fair existence, you have actually transformed your very life. And, clearly, not for the better.

Hidden Beliefs

Let's say that you failed an exam and your Dad told you that you were not smart enough; or you sometimes bumped into the furniture and they told you were clumsy; or you heard someone say that you were not as clever as your brother or as pretty as your sister. A parent, a relative, a friend might have told you that, if you did not do what they wanted from you, they would love you no more. As a consequence, you may have grown up believing that you are not good or smart enough, that you will never become a success, that you are an ugly duckling, that you must always please others in order to be accepted. Are you aware of any such (or similar) beliefs stuck in your inner 'self'? The fact is that most of your negative convictions are not clearly detectable because your mind (your 'ego') tries to shelter you from them, telling you that it's OK to stay as you are, that nothing can change, that it's not even worth trying. But it's not true.

Your Deepest Longing

Someone said that we should aim at the stars even though we know that we will never reach them. Interesting: why do something if it will  seemingly yield no results? The fact is that the human desire to 'know' is greater that any logical consideration. Those who do not believe in God, still look for any other possible explanation for the existence of the Universe. Those who do not care to ask questions, still feel the need to always find greater fulfillment in what they experience. No-one is immune from the desire to achieve 'more'. Is this a good thing? Whether it is or it isn't, the fact is that "this is the way it is". Therefore, just keep on pursuing what your deep 'self' longs for, be it greater success, spiritual enlightenment, or... the stars!

Real Understanding

Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed by the difficulty of understanding how the world works. If you really reflect upon it, you realize that it is so difficult because you tend to judge what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad. It's undeniable that certain things are 'bad' and 'wrong' from an ethical or moral point of view. But this standpoint isn't useful if you are trying to 'understand', when you are engaged in a more practical search for 'reality'. Therefore, if you endeavor not to be 'partisan' (=biased) but you put yourself in a neutral position in front of a certain issue, it's easier to see how and why something happened. When you perceive the situation from a different perspective, you realize that the cause of someone else's thinking comes from their conditionings and the cause of their actions derives from their beliefs. When you can do this, you "understand".

Happy New Year!

An excellent New Year resolution.