No Control

Think about your life and see how much control you have over it. I mean, "real" control, not prevarication or imposition upon others. I am referring to the capacity to influence the course of events, i.e. to make things happen by means of your will. If you examine the question carefully, you will realize that most times your power to control what happens is not as great as you think it is. You will see that most times "things" just happen and you have to deal with them according to the way they are and not according to the way you expected them to be. Disappointing? Definitely! Is there a solution? Hardly! The silver lining is that usually, if you willingly accept to "allow", in the end things find a way to move in the right direction. 

Friends

Friends are great but, if they are not available, some people feel they cannot survive. They need  to be constantly surrounded by people, they cannot stand being alone. And that is a problem because you cannot have someone next to you, talking to you, listening to you... all the time. Besides, friends who are here today may not be here tomorrow. They have their own lives and you cannot count on them unconditionally. Therefore you'd better start making friends with the only human being who will never quit you: "yourself". Do you like your own company? Make sure you do, because this is the only presence that will always be... present in your life.

No Judging

Judging other people is never a good idea. Why? Because, when you do, you are most probably wrong. Why? Because you judge according to your principles, which might greatly differ from theirs. Should you then always agree with them? Not at all. You have the right to your own ideas as their have the right to theirs. So? So, it's ok for you to disagree on, or not appreciate something they say or do. But the "person" is not their words or actions. Therefore... go ahead and say, "What he/she did is bad" (or unfair or...) instead of saying "He/she is bad" (or unfair or...).

Complaining

It is so easy to complain, isn't it? But... how willing are you to do something about it? Complaining doesn't take any effort while doing something compels you to decide to change something in your life. There is always an action you can take to make things better. If you examine your situation carefully, you might realize that part of what you are complaining about depends on or is caused by your own behavior. If you are used to dump all responsibilities on someone else, review your position in all honesty. Then choose if you prefer to be a complainer or a problem-solver. 

Special Lenses

Are you convinced that the world around you is exactly and only as you see it? Imagine you had a pair of sunglasses with colored lenses: in this case you would see the world according to their color, all green or red or blue... That might probably reflect your inner mood but it would also be boring. Instead, visualize sunglasses that allowed you to see the world not according to your interpretation but according to the way it really "is". Can you accept the possibility that such image might be different from the one you are used to seeing?

Your Role

Shakespeare said the the world is a stage and that each of us has to play a role. Right. We all agree, don't we? But now a question arises: who determines the role that each of us has to play? According to Positive Thinking, "we" write, direct and play our own roles. But... do we really? Are we actually that "independent"? You and they (whoever else) may be sure you are. I, personally - after careful observation - wouldn't swear on that. Too many stimuli are given you, too much conditioning subdues you, too much technology is offered to you, too many solicitations attack you from all sides. How can you still believe that the "role" you play is freely chosen, is your own creation?

Fight Your Battle

When you strongly want something, it is very hard to find the patience to wait until you reach your goal, especially when you, deep inside, believe that all you efforts may be useless and you will never fulfill your dream. But it would be even harder to give it up altogether because, in so doing, you "throw in the towel" and accept to lose a battle that you haven't even attempted to fight. Failing is a possibility, but feeling a loser is a choice.

The Secret of Life

Have you discovered the meaning of your life? Do you know why you are here? If you are interested in finding out, examine yourself, your thoughts, your words, your actions. You need to become aware of the reasons of your behavior and, most of all, of the "outcome" of your behavior. Does your being here make a difference in somebody's life? Is it a positive difference? The secret of a successful existence may be just this: while trying to find happiness for yourself, you endeavor to give happiness to someone else, you do whatever you can to spread happiness all around you. Otherwise... it's a miserable life, in spite of all material achievements.

Independent Thought

The fact that some people believe the same thing does not make it right, if "you" believe it is not. It may be their truth, and that is ok. But it may also not be your truth. And that is also ok. Besides a few, general, ethical and moral principles that are eternal and immortal, all the rest is subjective and temporary. Therefore, don't come and tell me that what you believe in is the only, unique truth and that mine or anybody else's is wrong. I don't buy it. You are free to believe what you want and I (as everybody else) am free to believe what I want. This is not only freedom but also the only sensible way for each human being to live their own lives. 

Multitasking

Einstein seems to have said, "When I tie my shoe-laces, I put all my attention into tying them well". It sounds like him, so I believe he did. In fact, I believe that "putting all your attention" into what you are doing is the main factor for doing things well. Nowadays we see that, on the contrary, multitasking, i.e. the skill of doing multiple things at the same time, is considered a great ability and worth of admiration. It may be and it may be not. If you are ok with carrying out your tasks in a superficial way, than it's fine. But if you are looking for excellence, you cannot divide your focus into more than one endeavor at the time. You decide which way suits you best.

Stay Alert

There are two kinds of regrets: one is about what you have done, the other is about what you haven't done. As to the things you have done, there might be a possibility for you to fix them by apologizing or by making whatever amend might be suitable. As far as regretting the things you haven't done... there is nothing you can do, now. You left the golden opportunity slip away, you didn't take it, you overlooked it, you were even unaware of it. Nevertheless, you can still decide to stay alert from now on and pay attention to what life presents to you every single moment. In fact, good chances are available everywhere, all the time, to those who are not distracted by useless stuff, to those who focus on what is really important.

Challenges, Yes or No?

Can you imagine a life without challenges? Would you like it? Although at first you may answer yes, after a little reflection you will most probably say no. Why? Because challenges are the factor that makes life interesting, that pushes you to use your intelligence and sharpen your skills in order to overcome them. And overcoming your challenges  gives life its meaning, it makes you feel that you have a goal to achieve, a mission to carry on. Such awareness is enough to make you enthusiastic about your being here on Earth and able to do "something".

Walk Your Path

Do you think it logical to expect that someone walks instead of you in order for you to reach your destination? You certainly don't. No one can walk on your behalf. It is your job to move and go wherever you are planning to go. But it seems that you prefer to pursue the "illogical" way whenever you refuse to take on your own responsibilities and still expect to achieve your goal. Your path is only yours, so you are the one who must walk it, accept the challenges, find a way out of problems, carry out your duties, face your mistakes and  try to fix them. Hoping otherwise would be irrational and, in the end, foolish.

It's Normal!

You can be successful only if you don't ever give up. You might get disappointed when things don't develop according to your plans, but that is normal. You might get frustrated when you don't receive the encouragement that you expect, but that is also normal. All the obstacles that you are bound to find on your path are "normal" because life's job is to present you with challenges. But it is up to you to face them, overcome them and... be a winner. Success is only for those who dare and who don't give up.

Be Brave, If You Can

It's not always easy to accept disappointment. You do things with all your heart and you believe they deserve to be appreciated, but they are not. So? Should you give up? At times you feel you should, other times you feel brave and keep going on with your chin up. It depends. Disappointment is a rather big component of Life and you simply cannot avoid it. It's up to you to decide what to do, how to take it, how to behave when you can't avoid facing it. Good luck to you, to me, to all.

Past Situations

When you have a problem with someone, do you tend to bring back the past? Do you keep mentioning words uttered or actions performed long ago? Why don't you - instead - face the actual situation and try to deal with it with the elements that are at your disposal "now"? Remembering the past should only be done in rare cases, just as a brief memory of a pleasant moment or to quickly review the lesson learned then. Otherwise... forget it! As no situation is ever the same, the one you are facing right now cannot be exactly the same as the one that took place long ago, and that you are now bringing back in order to prove your point. Don't do it. It only makes things worse. Be in the present. It's the only time you can live and act upon.

Change and Principles

Changing is an essential part of life and no-one can go on always walking on the same path. Although you often think that it would be better to keep the "status quo", yet there is nothing you can do to avoid change, when time comes for things to start moving in another direction. But there is one thing that you should endeavor to do: in spite of the different situations you find yourself in, try to never give up your values. Your principles, what you believe in are what makes you the human being that you are, in spite of any possibly different circumstances. As the weather changes but the countryside remains the same, so can you find yourself living in different environments but without changing your beliefs in honesty and integrity. 

Silence

The present era could be defined "the time of noise". There are too many devices that blare all day (and night) long. There is noise that fills your ears and there are people who demand your attention, always. If you allow this to happen, your life could become a living hell, with no silence, no quiet, no privacy, no way to collect your thoughts, to reflect, to let creative ideas blossom from your deepest self. What to do? Allow yourself to spend some time alone every day, in silence. Decide to leave everything and everybody behind for a short time. Those minutes will be the most beneficial because they will give you the strength and the insight you need to face your life challenges in the best way.

Making Mistakes

Can you easily admit that you made a mistake when you... made a mistake? Probably you can't. At least not "easily". Why? Because you feel that acknowledging that you did something wrong makes you less credible, less "valuable". But it is not true. As no-one is perfect, all human beings make mistakes, so it is more advisable, more "logical" to admit your wrong doing rather than desperately try to hide it or - even worse - endeavor to dump the responsibility on someone else. If you make a mistake, just do your best and try to fix it. If this is not possible, simply move on. Learn from it, decide to avoid doing the same in the future and then... forget it!

Outcomes

Everybody wishes to get what they want. It's natural, it's normal, it's... human. Yet, at times, it could cause quite a bit of problems. Remind yourself of a past situation where you badly wanted to achieve a certain result but then, after reaching your goal, you wished things had gone in a different way. Doesn't this sound like a contradiction? It certainly does. So? The truth is that life is full of mysteries and this might be one of them. The truth is that you simply cannot know "for sure" the outcome of your every action or the result of any happening. Therefore you'd better accept the fact that sometimes not obtaining what you want can be the greatest piece of luck you might be granted.

Being Responsible

One human feature that sounds so logical, yet it is often overlooked, is the acceptance of personal responsibility for one's actions. How come? Simple. Many people, after behaving in the "wrong" way, try to avoid admitting it and endeavor to dump the responsibility on someone else's shoulders. Why? Because they are weak, lazy, afraid, or they simply have no character. The brave, aware person thinks before deciding a course of action, carefully takes all possible consequences into consideration and then, once the decision is made, they go on and accept full responsibility for any outcome. On such matter, where do you see yourself stand? 

Towards Others

After being sure that you truly know how to respect yourself, you realize that respecting others as well should be a duty and a pleasure. You clearly see that being unkind doesn't make you feel better, that patronizing doesn't make you superior, that trying to control doesn't give you real power. You don't respect another when you endeavor to make them feel somewhat "less" than you, as if they don't actually deserve to be taken in due consideration. But everybody has value, everybody needs and deserves to be appreciated. Therefore every intelligent, balanced person instinctively knows that respect is the first and most important attitude towards any fellow human being.

Respect

If someone tells you that you must respect yourself, you immediately answer that you already do. But... do you really? If to respect means to have a positive opinion of yourself, think of when you tend to belittle, scold, humiliate yourself by blaming or not trusting your capabilities. On the other hand, think of when you behave too proudly, when you are conceited or condescending....Certainly not the best ways to respect yourself either! Besides, whenever you don't keep your word, whenever you mistreat your body or your mind by feeding them unhealthy "stuff", you strongly disrespect yourself because you don't give it the care necessary to turn yourself into the excellent person that you virtually already are.

Attention

One of the most difficult things for some (most?) is to live in the present. They believe they do, but they don't. They regularly let their imagination take them elsewhere, in the past or in the future. They are often unable to concentrate on what they are doing because they allow their mind to drift away on a sort of continuous daydreaming. And many, many times do they miss out on the experiences they meet in their daily life by simply ignoring what they are doing. Here is a simple example. Have you ever drunk your coffee while reading the newspaper or listening to the news? If you have, you most probably haven't tasted your coffee at all. Your attention was somewhere else. An experience that wasn't lived, as it hadn't taken place.

Keep On

When you start a new endeavor, you often stop halfway and don't carry it on till its completion. Why do you do that? Do you get bored because the task is not as exciting as you thought? Do you get frustrated because it is more difficult than you thought? Do you get disappointed because you are not progressing as fast as you thought? Okay, you might be right. Yet, if it is something that you really want to achieve, or feel that you should do, keep on trying. Never give up. The worst feeling, in fact, is the regret of what you could have done but you haven't.

Direction

When you are on the road and see a crossroad, you can choose one direction or another. It is up to you alone. Of course, it depends on where you want to go. If you are heading for the beach, you will follow the road that leads to the sea. If, on the other hand, you want to go for a hike on the hills, you'll go the other way. Can you see how easy and uncomplicated it is to reach your destination? So, why don't you do the same when you have to choose between an either positive or negative attitude, thought, word, action? Also in this case it is up to you!